My dietician keeps body shaming me :(
Replies
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Gentle yoga is probably the best first step.
But, here is a good article: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/hunger-artist/201101/what-weight-lifting-can-do-former-anorexic
All of her articles are good and worth reading.0 -
Contact someone (psychologist/psychiatrist) immediately regarding your suicidal feelings. Fire your nutritionist and "shop" for one that works well with you.0
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Another article to help people understand: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/hunger-artist/201110/the-physical-effects-weight-gain-after-starvation0
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If you want to gain muscle instead of just fat, you need to be lifting. It doesn't matter if you're eating tons of protein or tons of desserts, you shouldn't expect to see any real muscle gains if you aren't exercising. There are plenty of health reasons why you probably shouldn't just eat 3500 calories worth of donuts every day, but it's not like that alone is what prevented muscle gain - it's the absence of an exercise routine aimed at building muscle. You may see some LBM gains just from eating a surplus if you were malnourished previously, but generally you need to look into exercise if you really want to put on some weight while maintaining a reasonable body composition.
I'm no expert on EDs, but it is my understanding that exercise is not recommended in the early stages of recovery for someone who is severely underweight. It can have drastic consequences (like heart attack and death).
Edited to fix typo.0 -
Ok, so first let me say Suicide is NEVER and I mean never the answer. There is no reason one should do it. I understand the feeling that all hope is lost, being miserable etc as much as the next person but there is always hope. It is just a matter of taking a step back and seeing a different perspective(either in the form of a distraction or close friend or professional). If you truly are feeling like that, speak with someone. This is not me shaming you just know that. I just have a big thing against suicide. Had friends do it plus been in really dark places in my own life.
ANyways I digress. If for any reason what so ever a health professional or a professional that is supposed to help you is making you feel ashamed, uncomfortable, telling you things that are unhealthy or wrong then you, for your own sake and health, must find a different person. To me, judging base on what you have said she sounds like an idiot and if she wont listen to you nor your doctor, change to a new one. However, from a different perspective, she may have said go ahead and eat all of the stuff you want, just because she wanted you to get in more calories. However, she messed up by not clarifying this well actually by saying it in general. Her point was, i think, to just get you to eat since she may have felt you werent gaining enough or she was concerned. Some people just suck at explaining or just let things slip. THere are many times I will be explaining something then 20 minutes later I remember i forgot to tell them something important.
What I would say to do is first, stop thinking of it as adding weight(or getting fat) because that makes it sound a bit negative to your subconscious because all we hear about as a society is that weight gain = getting fat. This is not the case though, especially for you. So rather, try to think of it as getting healthy.
Next, change Nutritionists. Ask your doctor if there is a different one. One that might be a bit more understanding of your situation. Some tend to be better at helping people maintain or lose or gain. So you might just not have the right one.
Finally, as long as you are healthy and within the recommended calories(from you physician/nutritionist) you are fine until you are at a healthy weight(or goal) Once closer to that goal, then worry about the details. Though, you dont need to calorie count necessarily either. Just set X number of meals(5+ might allow you to get more in without being really full) and portion out the food. Then each day add a bit more to that portion to help get more in.
This is a stressful period regardless. So do what you need to to eliminate other stresses that might pop up with this. If that means change, change. If that means find a therapist then do that. Just make sure you are happy with the route that is what matters.
Edit: If you need to talk when you are stressed, feel free to message me.0 -
Did you really use the words body shaming and triggering un-ironically?
Also, common sense would have went far here. The only failure of your dietitian was assuming you would apply some.
Completely unnecessary comment. Perhaps you should refrain from giving input when the OP is a recovering ED. Of course, that would require some common sense.
Because coddling works so well.
I might just get my first hand slap for this, and if I do, it's SO worth it. I REALLY hope you're a troll, because if you aren't, they you've got to be one of two things: a person who has zero compassion/empathy for those who are struggling with mental illness/disorders (as eating disorders are considered mental illnesses), or you're absolutely ignorant. Both of which, I can't stand and have a low tolerance for in life. No one here is asking for anyone to coddle the OP, but showing her some care, compassion, and dignity, absolutely. Every human being deserves this, and especially deserves to be treated this way by their healthcare professional. If she felt attacked, or body shamed by her dietitian, that is HER perception. That is the way she felt, and no one can tell her otherwise OR how to feel. I agree that there are two sides to every story, but at the same time, I am a survivor of PTSD due to severe medical neglect in a hospital setting, so I understand that the perception a person has of an event can be dramatically different. What happens to one person, or what one person sees/hears may or will be vastly different from another.
You, nor anyone else can speak for this young woman and say what happened in the dietitians office, the way that she was spoken to, or treated. All I can say is that she does not deserve to be made to feel bad for making progress. Searching out another dietitian who better meets her needs, and will explain things in terms that they can work together on would be better for her than to stay with someone who she feels is making her feel ashamed and confused.0 -
You're dietician may not mean to come across in a negative way like that. However, I understand how important it is to have a person you trust as a care provider. It took me a long time to find a doctor I felt comfortable with. If your dietician is not a good fit, then by all means, I would switch.
By the way, gaining 10 pounds when you are underweight is a HUGE accomplishment! So what if its all fat??? Its not like you can't excercise after the fact and regain some muscle. I think you've taken a step towards a healthier body by gaining that weight, and you should acknowledge that accomplishment and celebrate it! Its really important to stay positive and recognize your victories for what they are. Otherwise, you may get depressed, and discouraged and slide back into old habits.
I can tell this is an ED voice and it is not your fault that I react this way, but unfortunately this comment is really triggering to me
. All the more reason to see that new therapist I called today. I'm waiting for her to return my call. In the meantime though, I'd like to point out that it isn't really a healthy idea in my opinion to just gain a bunch of fat and then fix it afterwards...that is like relapse or yo yo dieting to me...but I get where you're coming from. However, it is worth mentioning that my stupid dietician said "you won't gain JUST fat no matter what you eat, including cake and ice cream" so that is what I thought was true. I just trusted her and I feel so stupid it truly can't be all fat though, I mean I have a little muscle in my calves and arms.
I am VERY, VERY thankful that you contacted a therapist today. This is a even bigger step in the right direction. I won't lie, I don't have any experience with eating disorders, but I do know about addiction, and an ED is just as strong and compulsive as any addiction. You have triggers, just like many other mental illnesses, and finding the right coping skills to help you when you are triggered is crucial to recovery. I'll be glad to be of support if you need a person. I've struggled with mental illness for a great number of years, and to this day, I still have to use my coping skills when/if I am triggered. You can do this, it's not easy, but it's worth it.0 -
:flowerforyou:0
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Good for you!!!I took it upon myself to grow up and get some damn help
Good!I am seeking out a more sensitive, relaxed dietician. I am calling the new one tomorrow! She is also a therapist
No, the advice was not sensible.I think you probably have a miscommunication issue going on with your dietician as on the face of it the advice sounds generally sensible.
Sensible, medically sound advice would have been to increase calories (gradually, so the mental problem wasn't too hard to deal with) while maintaining an overall nutritionally sound diet.
Yes, having pie & ice cream can be part of that, and I realize that when someone is almost dead from starvation it's important for them to get ANY calories, but telling her it's OK to eat just junk food isn't responsible.
I'd consider contacting the licensing board with your experiences, both with the unsound advice and the lack of respect and the way she made you feel.
Yes.If your dietician is giving you conflicting information and changing her tune every time you see her, drop her. You need reliable information that only changes when medically necessary and appropriate. (i.e., if your numbers change after blood work or if your physician makes that determination), and it doesn't appear that she's giving you that. Find someone who has experience treating people who are in recovery and is interested in working in conjunction with your physician.
Yes.If for any reason whatsoever a health professional or a professional that is supposed to help you is making you feel ashamed, uncomfortable, telling you things that are unhealthy or wrong then you, for your own sake and health, must find a different person.0 -
that just plain pisses me off!0
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Did you really use the words body shaming and triggering un-ironically?
Also, common sense would have went far here. The only failure of your dietitian was assuming you would apply some.
Completely unnecessary comment. Perhaps you should refrain from giving input when the OP is a recovering ED. Of course, that would require some common sense.
Because coddling works so well.
I might just get my first hand slap for this, and if I do, it's SO worth it. I REALLY hope you're a troll, because if you aren't, they you've got to be one of two things: a person who has zero compassion/empathy for those who are struggling with mental illness/disorders (as eating disorders are considered mental illnesses), or you're absolutely ignorant. Both of which, I can't stand and have a low tolerance for in life. No one here is asking for anyone to coddle the OP, but showing her some care, compassion, and dignity, absolutely. Every human being deserves this, and especially deserves to be treated this way by their healthcare professional. If she felt attacked, or body shamed by her dietitian, that is HER perception. That is the way she felt, and no one can tell her otherwise OR how to feel. I agree that there are two sides to every story, but at the same time, I am a survivor of PTSD due to severe medical neglect in a hospital setting, so I understand that the perception a person has of an event can be dramatically different. What happens to one person, or what one person sees/hears may or will be vastly different from another.
You, nor anyone else can speak for this young woman and say what happened in the dietitians office, the way that she was spoken to, or treated. All I can say is that she does not deserve to be made to feel bad for making progress. Searching out another dietitian who better meets her needs, and will explain things in terms that they can work together on would be better for her than to stay with someone who she feels is making her feel ashamed and confused.
THANK YOU!!! :bigsmile:0 -
update...GOT A NEW DIETICIAN! WHOOT WHOOT! She is actually on the NEDA and MSEDA association website...aka registered with the national eating disorders association AND works as an ED specialist AND therapist in the best hospital in the USA. Not kidding. This is the best hospital in the USA, Mass General Boston. I am THRILLED. Gonna go eat peanut butter to celebrate.0
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update...GOT A NEW DIETICIAN! WHOOT WHOOT! She is actually on the NEDA and MSEDA association website...aka registered with the national eating disorders association AND works as an ED specialist AND therapist in the best hospital in the USA. Not kidding. This is the best hospital in the USA, Mass General Boston. I am THRILLED. Gonna go eat peanut butter to celebrate.
Excellent!
Also, peanut butter is the best thing ever invented ever.0 -
update...GOT A NEW DIETICIAN! WHOOT WHOOT! She is actually on the NEDA and MSEDA association website...aka registered with the national eating disorders association AND works as an ED specialist AND therapist in the best hospital in the USA. Not kidding. This is the best hospital in the USA, Mass General Boston. I am THRILLED. Gonna go eat peanut butter to celebrate.
GREAT to hear!! Also, yes, peanut butter is awesome.0 -
update...GOT A NEW DIETICIAN! WHOOT WHOOT! She is actually on the NEDA and MSEDA association website...aka registered with the national eating disorders association AND works as an ED specialist AND therapist in the best hospital in the USA. Not kidding. This is the best hospital in the USA, Mass General Boston. I am THRILLED. Gonna go eat peanut butter to celebrate.
Yay!0 -
Is this nutritionist recommended by your doctor? If not, does he know of a new one you can go to?
I personally wouldn't continue to see someone who is doing that to you...sometimes it takes awhile to find a good fit.0 -
Get a new nutritionist AND get a therapist ASAP. Talk wilt someone about your suicidal thoughts. Get help. You are not alone and things will get better.0
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update...GOT A NEW DIETICIAN! WHOOT WHOOT! She is actually on the NEDA and MSEDA association website...aka registered with the national eating disorders association AND works as an ED specialist AND therapist in the best hospital in the USA. Not kidding. This is the best hospital in the USA, Mass General Boston. I am THRILLED. Gonna go eat peanut butter to celebrate.
Great!!!!!0 -
Yay!!! This is WONDERFUL news! You're on the right track! Please keep us updated on how things go! So very proud of you for taking such positive steps for yourself! You're gonna do great! Best wishes with both the new therapist and nutritionist! :happy:0
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update...GOT A NEW DIETICIAN! WHOOT WHOOT! She is actually on the NEDA and MSEDA association website...aka registered with the national eating disorders association AND works as an ED specialist AND therapist in the best hospital in the USA. Not kidding. This is the best hospital in the USA, Mass General Boston. I am THRILLED. Gonna go eat peanut butter to celebrate.
^5!
Thank you for the feedback and good luck in the future!!
:flowerforyou: :drinker:0 -
update...GOT A NEW DIETICIAN! WHOOT WHOOT! She is actually on the NEDA and MSEDA association website...aka registered with the national eating disorders association AND works as an ED specialist AND therapist in the best hospital in the USA. Not kidding. This is the best hospital in the USA, Mass General Boston. I am THRILLED. Gonna go eat peanut butter to celebrate.
Great news! Keep us posted (maybe on another thread). We're rooting for you!!!!0 -
1st; It's impressive that you recognized you needed some help and then did something about it. Very brave, very wise.
No matter how credentialed your nutritionist is, it's a bad fit. Find one that you can communicate with and make your journey a positive experience.0 -
Thanks again for all the positivity, everyone. This is probably the most successful I have ever been with seeking internet advice on MFP hahaha...anyways, if it is annoying to continue updating this thread I will stop to spare the others the annoyance. I just wanted to give a final thanks to everyone who reassured me I was NOT crazy and this dietician was A) Meaning well
Probably 'right' to a degree about SOME stuff but C) NOT THE RIGHT FIT FOR MY PERSONALITY.
Again, you've helped a great deal! And that peanut butter was awesome. You guys should try microwaving it with bananas, butter, flour, and baking powder...mini cake celebration.
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That's wonderful. People aren't annoyed by your updates. It's just that when the thread gets bumped new people respond to the Original Post, and don't see all your updates.0
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In my experience with training people wanting to gain or lose weight (usually wanting to gain muscle and lose body fat), I have witness a lot of "quackery" from dietitians ... one went so far as to tell a diabetic to eat whatever she wanted and to just let her pump do the job . . . which almost ended her life!
I would 1) seek an eating disorder counselor and 2) consider a wellness coach through IIN (Institute of Integrative Nutrition). Look IIN up on the internet and search for a wellness coach in your area... they treat the person as a whole and don't just throw a meal plan at you; OR, expect you to just figure it out on your own.
Best of luck.0 -
Find a dietitian - not a nutritionist - that understands medical conditions and food used to treat them. You've got a liver issue, a medical weight issue, possible emotional issues revolving around food, etc. - you need more than a "nutritionist," who wouldn't be qualified to deal withthese medical issues. I'm a nutritionist, as well as a trainer and coach, with decades of experience, and I'd refer you to a registered dietitian if you came to me for help. Get a referral from your doctor, and if he/she doesn't know who to refer you to find a doctor that does.
Also, stay involved in these forums! Having feedback from others is a huge benefit when you're trying to learn how to do new things with food. You're on the right track, keep up the good work! Good luck and let me know how you fare.0
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