Guys like heavier girls?

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  • BflSaberfan
    BflSaberfan Posts: 1,272
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    I like this post...Heres the deal im having...see what ppl think about this one. Ive been with my fiance for almost 2 yrs now..yes i have gained maybe 7 lbs since then and most recently he told me that I was getting alot bigger which killed me deeply. Im 5 foot and 138..according to guidelines..im overweight. So now he always looks at really skinny girls which makes me so angry and sad. Im not dieting and exercising because of what he said but for myself. My goal is to lose about 15 to 20 lbs. Then to top things off...the other day hes like i think u should get down to 100lbs and i need bigger boobs!!!! Ive been that little and looked sick...So my self-esteem is so low now..

    I think a good 10 or 15lbs would be good for you to lose, and then I'd work on losing that other 200lbs (him)
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    While the size 6 girl might be nice to look at, when it comes to reality men like something they can hold onto. Who wants to curl up in bed with a bag of bones? Really? I think we are so concerned with the media's representation of what we should look like, we fail to really get the reality of it all. The average woman is a size 14 NOT a size 6. Teenagers are size 6. Once you are married, have children and deal with the other realities that life hands out to you, being a size 6 is virtually impossible. C'mon ladies, stop *****in and moaning and starving yourselves to be something that is unattainable. Do a little exercise everyday, watch the carbs and be happy with your size 14 bodies. I'm striving to be a size 14 now because I let myself get a little crazy with the desserts and carbs. Size 6? Never.

    It's great that your goal is to be a size 14, but just because a size 6 is apparently unattainable for you doesn't mean it is for everyone else. I've been a size 14, and I was not happy or healthy at that size. I'm an 8, working on a 6, right now, and given my small frame, 4 would probably be the ideal size for me. I am definitely not a bag of bones. I have muscles AND curves.

    And what really saddens me about your post is your assertion that being a wife and mother means you have to settle for being "average." If that's what you want, go for it. But not everyone feels that way. I'm not a wife or a mother yet, but when I am, I hope my goal is to be more than just average.
  • kailyamie
    kailyamie Posts: 130
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    I like this post...Heres the deal im having...see what ppl think about this one. Ive been with my fiance for almost 2 yrs now..yes i have gained maybe 7 lbs since then and most recently he told me that I was getting alot bigger which killed me deeply. Im 5 foot and 138..according to guidelines..im overweight. So now he always looks at really skinny girls which makes me so angry and sad. Im not dieting and exercising because of what he said but for myself. My goal is to lose about 15 to 20 lbs. Then to top things off...the other day hes like i think u should get down to 100lbs and i need bigger boobs!!!! Ive been that little and looked sick...So my self-esteem is so low now..

    I think a good 10 or 15lbs would be good for you to lose, and then I'd work on losing that other 200lbs (him)

    BAM! LOL!!! I agree. Any guy that will disrespect you like that or harm your self-esteem like that is not worth your time. 138 is by no means big. If you want to lose 15-20 to feel better about yourself, fantastic... but don't do it b/c your self esteem is hurting b/c there are plenty of guys out there who will love you and not disrespect you if you gain 7 pounds or 70. ((hugs))
  • suzycreamcheese
    suzycreamcheese Posts: 1,766 Member
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    Marilyn Monroe is one person we usually hold out as a bombshell. Guess what? She was size 14.



    - Eva

    no she wasnt

    marilyn monroe statistics:
    Height: 5 feet, 5½ inches
    Weight: 118-140 pounds
    Bust: 35-37 inches
    Waist: 22-23 inches
    Hips: 35-36 inches
    Bra size: 36D


    That is NOT the measurements of a size 14. Not even a UK 14. Thats more like a UK 8/10, or a US 4/6
    http://jezebel.com/5299793/for-the-last-time-what-size-was-marilyn-monroe
  • erickirb
    erickirb Posts: 12,293 Member
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    While the size 6 girl might be nice to look at, when it comes to reality men like something they can hold onto. Who wants to curl up in bed with a bag of bones? Really? I think we are so concerned with the media's representation of what we should look like, we fail to really get the reality of it all. The average woman is a size 14 NOT a size 6. Teenagers are size 6. Once you are married, have children and deal with the other realities that life hands out to you, being a size 6 is virtually impossible. C'mon ladies, stop *****in and moaning and starving yourselves to be something that is unattainable. Do a little exercise everyday, watch the carbs and be happy with your size 14 bodies. I'm striving to be a size 14 now because I let myself get a little crazy with the desserts and carbs. Size 6? Never.

    It's great that your goal is to be a size 14, but just because a size 6 is apparently unattainable for you doesn't mean it is for everyone else. I've been a size 14, and I was not happy or healthy at that size. I'm an 8, working on a 6, right now, and given my small frame, 4 would probably be the ideal size for me. I am definitely not a bag of bones. I have muscles AND curves.

    And what really saddens me about your post is your assertion that being a wife and mother means you have to settle for being "average." If that's what you want, go for it. But not everyone feels that way. I'm not a wife or a mother yet, but when I am, I hope my goal is to be more than just average.

    Also average does not mean ideal. The average is now larger than it ever was as over 60% of the US population is overweight, which skews that number to a larger size. Years ago average would have been a closer to a size 8 when only a small portion of the population was overweight.
  • Furrytreats
    Furrytreats Posts: 132 Member
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    I think it has a lot to do with body shape too. A size14 hour glass shape is sexy. A 14 apple shape is not appealing to most men. Same thing at the opposite end of the spectrum. A size 4 with T&A is great, size 4 and shaped like a pubescent boy isn't what attracts most men.

    I'm currently a size 4-6 with 5 kids at home. I want to be firm and healthy and want to make my husband and kids proud, doesn't have anything to do with being a bag of bones.
  • dlou1979
    dlou1979 Posts: 9
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    Ladies who cares what he wants or thinks!! And for that matter Guys who cares what she thinks! Do it for you and you alone and you will exude confidence, that's what is really attractive and thats what counts.
  • 123456654321
    123456654321 Posts: 1,311 Member
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    I don't know, I've always had an issue with this topic actually. If guys found size 14 girls most attractive, then why aren't size 14 girls in Playboy or Maxim? Why are all the celebrities that are considered "hot" a size 6 or well under? I'm sorry, I simply do not believe that most guys would prefer a size 14 to a size 6. Yes, guys like curves...but put big fake boobs on a tiny girl and 9/10 guys will look as her as curvy....when really, she just has boobs.

    I don't know...I'll buy that men like chubby girls when I start seeing more chubby girls in porn then skinny ones.

    * Also, a size 6 is NOT a bag of bones. It's a very average and healthy weight .
  • mandy935
    mandy935 Posts: 6
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    I like this post...Heres the deal im having...see what ppl think about this one. Ive been with my fiance for almost 2 yrs now..yes i have gained maybe 7 lbs since then and most recently he told me that I was getting alot bigger which killed me deeply. Im 5 foot and 138..according to guidelines..im overweight. So now he always looks at really skinny girls which makes me so angry and sad. Im not dieting and exercising because of what he said but for myself. My goal is to lose about 15 to 20 lbs. Then to top things off...the other day hes like i think u should get down to 100lbs and i need bigger boobs!!!! Ive been that little and looked sick...So my self-esteem is so low now..


    well I have to say thios post makes me sad and angry, this guy is not worth your self esteem and sanity, do yourself a favor and get out of this verbally degrading relationship and do what makes you feel good for you and not him or anyone else, you are beautiful and deserve better. This is the type of guy that will stray and just hurt you even more.

    As to other posters comments I agree that it's more about a healthy weight, which varies, and proportions....you can even look it up, speaking scientifically a hip to waist ratio is what arouses men by simple natural instinct, the big boobs are the result of society not because it makes a woman more or less desirable. So work on a healthy body and a healthy attitude and stop fussing over size and what a guy wants as health and confidence is beautiful!
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    Size 6 is not average. It's also not a weight. Some women are very healthy at a size 6. Some women would look emaciated at that size.

    But I think the bottom line of this debate is that most men prefer women who actually look like women, meaning they have some curvature and some softness to their bodies ... not "fat," but not so thin that all you can see are joints and bones. You can be curvy without being a size 14, and not all size 14 women are curvy. So when a man says he likes a curvy woman, he is not necessarily saying he likes fat women.
  • rockabyesarojane
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    Marilyn Monroe is one person we usually hold out as a bombshell. Guess what? She was size 14.

    Statistically, "skinny minis" have just as many healthy problems as overweight person.

    "big girls" are the way to go.

    But thanks for reminding everyone that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and we should be happy with ourselves.

    Healthy should be the goal, not a size.

    - Eva

    i'm hope this doesnt come off sounding more aggressive than i mean for it to but i get really tired of hearing the Marilyn Monroe argument for one very important reason!

    newsflash-- if you live in America than you live your life in vanity sized clothing. when Marilyn monroe was sporting her size 14 dress they are what we now label as a size 8. she did have lovely curves but she was still 3 sizes smaller by todays standards than what people want to admit or are aware of.

    i do agree though that healthy should be the goal and not size- but that it easier said than done. especially since being unhappy with our size is most often what motivated us in the first place.
  • BflSaberfan
    BflSaberfan Posts: 1,272
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    While the size 6 girl might be nice to look at, when it comes to reality men like something they can hold onto. Who wants to curl up in bed with a bag of bones? Really? I think we are so concerned with the media's representation of what we should look like, we fail to really get the reality of it all. The average woman is a size 14 NOT a size 6. Teenagers are size 6. Once you are married, have children and deal with the other realities that life hands out to you, being a size 6 is virtually impossible. C'mon ladies, stop *****in and moaning and starving yourselves to be something that is unattainable. Do a little exercise everyday, watch the carbs and be happy with your size 14 bodies. I'm striving to be a size 14 now because I let myself get a little crazy with the desserts and carbs. Size 6? Never.

    It's great that your goal is to be a size 14, but just because a size 6 is apparently unattainable for you doesn't mean it is for everyone else. I've been a size 14, and I was not happy or healthy at that size. I'm an 8, working on a 6, right now, and given my small frame, 4 would probably be the ideal size for me. I am definitely not a bag of bones. I have muscles AND curves.

    And what really saddens me about your post is your assertion that being a wife and mother means you have to settle for being "average." If that's what you want, go for it. But not everyone feels that way. I'm not a wife or a mother yet, but when I am, I hope my goal is to be more than just average.

    This ^^

    I work full time and have 2 kids and still commit to the Insanity workout 6 times a week. It is doable.
  • ColoradoRobin
    ColoradoRobin Posts: 510 Member
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    A size 6 nowadays is not the same size it was back when I could fit into one back in college. Manufacturers try to plan their sizing around the average size range that women will buy. Size 10 is kept at the midpoint, even though women are bigger now than they were 20 years ago. This has to do with the way the pattern pieces are cut out of the fabric. For every size XL you need a corresponding XS to balance it. This has created so-called vanity sizing, where the same size gets bigger over time.

    If I could return to my 118 lb college freshman size, I'd probably be in something like a size 2 in today's sizes. So keep that in mind when considering what a given size means. A size 6 today is bigger than you might think.

    http://www.vanitysizing.com/archive/interview-why-have-retailers-changed-clothing-sizes/
    A blog on the subject. The author is well versed on the subject, but tends to get fired up when popular articles blame vanity sizing on catering to the ego of consumers. It's worth a look.
  • Dawntodusk
    Dawntodusk Posts: 262 Member
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    While the size 6 girl might be nice to look at, when it comes to reality men like something they can hold onto. Who wants to curl up in bed with a bag of bones? Really? I think we are so concerned with the media's representation of what we should look like, we fail to really get the reality of it all. The average woman is a size 14 NOT a size 6. Teenagers are size 6. Once you are married, have children and deal with the other realities that life hands out to you, being a size 6 is virtually impossible. C'mon ladies, stop *****in and moaning and starving yourselves to be something that is unattainable. Do a little exercise everyday, watch the carbs and be happy with your size 14 bodies. I'm striving to be a size 14 now because I let myself get a little crazy with the desserts and carbs. Size 6? Never.

    I am 49 years old, and just lost 11 pounds (thank you MFP) and am now happily a size 6 (my goal is a size 4). I have had 3 children. I am not a bag of bones. I just bought a bra yesterday - cup size DD (no implants). Although I have plenty of muscle, I still have more fat than I like (I can definitely squeeze a inch or two in places). I have worked out my entire life, but not fanatically - 3, 4 times a week. It is attainable. It is doable. I was not happy about my body when I was a 10-12! I would be miserable if I were a 14. As for what my husband says/thinks - like I said in a previous post. Who cares?!! I have to live in my body, and I take care of it for me, not for him or anyone else.
  • 123456654321
    123456654321 Posts: 1,311 Member
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    Size 6 is not average. It's also not a weight.

    You are right..my bad. I worded that terribly.

    I just meant usually, girls that wear a size 6 are at a healthy weight. I've never had a girlfriend who wore a size 6 and looked like a pile of bones and I've never known one that looked chubby either. On average, they looked pretty darn normal to me.
  • ColoradoRobin
    ColoradoRobin Posts: 510 Member
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    I like this post...Heres the deal im having...see what ppl think about this one. Ive been with my fiance for almost 2 yrs now..yes i have gained maybe 7 lbs since then and most recently he told me that I was getting alot bigger which killed me deeply. Im 5 foot and 138..according to guidelines..im overweight. So now he always looks at really skinny girls which makes me so angry and sad. Im not dieting and exercising because of what he said but for myself. My goal is to lose about 15 to 20 lbs. Then to top things off...the other day hes like i think u should get down to 100lbs and i need bigger boobs!!!! Ive been that little and looked sick...So my self-esteem is so low now..
    If you want to lose some weight for your own reasons, then go for it! Do not do it for someone who is so uncaring and inconsiderate. Apparently from what you've said, he is fixated on superficial appearances and doesn't care enough to love you for who you are. Think hard about whether he's the guy you want to marry. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Be confident in yourself and you can do anything!
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    Christina Hendricks is a better example than Marilyn Monroe. She is a size 14 in today's sizing standards, but she is not fat. She has the definitive hourglass shape: big boobs, wide hips. Pretty much every guy I know thinks she is sexy. But it's important to re-emphasize the fact that she is NOT fat. Some women ARE fat and unhealthy in a size 14 and should not be comforting themselves with the thought that some other chick looks great in a 14. Christina Hendricks is 5'8, and her extra inches come mostly from having the wide hips, not from having a lot of belly fat. So she can wear a 14 better than a short woman with a lot of stomach bulge.

    christina_hendricks_dress_size.jpg

    At the end of the day, you can't seek satisfaction with your own body from other people, whether it's a man you're interested in or a sex symbol who is your size. Until YOU reach a point where you feel comfortable with what you look like, no amount of compliments from men or comparisons to beautiful women will change anything. You will still come across as insecure and totally lacking in confidence, and that's what really makes a person unattractive.
  • ambie35
    ambie35 Posts: 853 Member
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    While the size 6 girl might be nice to look at, when it comes to reality men like something they can hold onto. Who wants to curl up in bed with a bag of bones? Really? I think we are so concerned with the media's representation of what we should look like, we fail to really get the reality of it all. The average woman is a size 14 NOT a size 6. Teenagers are size 6. Once you are married, have children and deal with the other realities that life hands out to you, being a size 6 is virtually impossible. C'mon ladies, stop *****in and moaning and starving yourselves to be something that is unattainable. Do a little exercise everyday, watch the carbs and be happy with your size 14 bodies. I'm striving to be a size 14 now because I let myself get a little crazy with the desserts and carbs. Size 6? Never.

    LOL....seriously....LOL. I am a size 4 with plenty of curves, 5 kids and deal with the realities of life. I just choose to stay fit, regardless. Go ahead and keep putting down smaller size women, if that makes ya feel better. Haters gonna hate.....


    seriously right?! I think I have a wonderfully curvy size 4-6 figure, definitely plenty to "hold onto". Its all about confidence...and each mans individual preference.
  • countryrose7
    countryrose7 Posts: 107 Member
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    Bumping for later!
  • 123456654321
    123456654321 Posts: 1,311 Member
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    Christina Hendricks is a better example than Marilyn Monroe. She is a size 14 in today's sizing standards, but she is not fat. She has the definitive hourglass shape: big boobs, wide hips. Pretty much every guy I know thinks she is sexy. But it's important to re-emphasize the fact that she is NOT fat. Some women ARE fat and unhealthy in a size 14 and should not be comforting themselves with the thought that some other chick looks great in a 14. Christina Hendricks is 5'8, and her extra inches come mostly from having the wide hips, not from having a lot of belly fat. So she can wear a 14 better than a short woman with a lot of stomach bulge.

    christina_hendricks_dress_size.jpg

    At the end of the day, you can't seek satisfaction with your own body from other people, whether it's a man you're interested in or a sex symbol who is your size. Until YOU reach a point where you feel comfortable with what you look like, no amount of compliments from men or comparisons to beautiful women will change anything. You will still come across as insecure and totally lacking in confidence, and that's what really makes a person unattractive.

    Meh, I don't know about this. I'm also going to go out on a limb and say she doesn't wear a size 14 in the same clothes that we are buying. First off most high end designer brands run smaller (they don't do vanity sizing as much.) I'll also even venture to say that she probably only gets a size 14 dress size to fit over her boobs and then has it altered. I think any normal size 14 outfit off the rack will hang on her.

    **For the record, I DO agree with all that you said though.