Things my father said.

RoadDog

My father had to go into the hospital for Open Heart surgery. It was risky. He survived, but died of a heart attack not too long after that. He was a stoic man. Ex-Marine. Everyone called him Big John or Sonny. I called him Dad. The other day I was going through some boxes of pics; looking for a picture of me when I was younger. My daughter need it for something. Anyway...came across a letter from my Dad. I got it the mail the day after he went in for his surgery. He didn't think he was going to survive. I would love to share it with you, but it is just between my father and I. For the most part, he wanted me to know how he felt about me. Loved me. How proud he was. It rambled on for two pages. I read it then put it in a box. He survived the surgery, but he never brought up the letter and neither did I. I wish I had. He died soon after. At a BBQ. In my back yard. He was enjoying himself.

Anyway, the other day, I said something to my youngest. She gave me that look. Said "You sound just like Grandpa." I realized she was right. I took it as the best compliment.

Your father have any sayings? I'd like to hear them. Here are some of my fathers' witty remarks.

"Use your Head for something besides a hat rack!"

"If I have to get out of this chair, I'm going to fill the room with uppercuts!"

"Don't make me come up there!"

My favorite was when I was in high school. I started every sentence with Man, kinda like Dude now. I said something to my Dad at the dinner table and eneded it with Man.

He yelled. "I'm not a Man! I'm your Dad!"

Took him a minute to realize what he had said.

momma69

This is mt Grandps not my dad..but it cracks me up everytime we talk because it is the same!
My Grandpa ...when ever we talk I ask...what are you doing...his reply is always...stacking bb's...I always ask how is that going..he always says...not worth a sh**! LOL

iTim__

I was a clumsy child. When I'd drop food in my lap while eating, he'd say, "Doesn't matter how much you feed it, it is not going to grow."

xXmimiXx

Hey,

So sorry to hear about your Dad. My dad passed away when I was seven. I can't really remember many things he said but the one thing I do remember doesn't represent him as the amazing, intelligent guy he was but it does show his witty side:-

"I don't give a fishes t*t!" haha

Thanks for sharing :flowerforyou:

abeare

Sorry to hear about your dad.

Here's one from mine:

Whenever someone knocks on the front door my dad cant seem to just say come in, that would be too boring instead he yells out “Come in, you’re out!”

catcrazy

It must be lovely to have happy memories of your dad. I drew the short straw when it came to fathers i'm afraid

I don't have any sayings that my dad said that I could type out without there being too many stars bleeping the words out, but I did take something good away from it all and that is to be the best parent I can so my kids and any future grandkids can look back at memories of me with fondness. I want my kids to remember me the way youre remembering your dad


Thanks for sharing

Suzy12

What a warm, wonderful post! Thank you for sharing. I lost my biological dad when I was 7. My step dad died a few years ago (who I was also very close to). I don't remember a lot about my dad really. But my step dad was also a stoic, common-sense man. During deer hunting season he'd wear this big brown long-john looking thing and I used to tell him he looked just like a big teddy bear (yes, he was a large man!). He'd just laugh. He always tried to be stern, but it never worked for him. He just left that to mom. He only finished the 8th grade, but he was smarter than most people I've met. He taught me to fish, camp, and respect the planet. And to be honest. All priceless skills!!

If you want to know the one thing he "said" that sticks out in my mind?? Whenever we took a road-trip, he'd sing: Mares eat oat and does eat oats and little lams eat ivy. A kid 'ill eat ivy too wouldn't you? I sang that to him the night he died.

Thanks again Road Dog. You've warmed my heart this morning!!
Suze

maryann73

My family has crazy thick hair. Dad always says "If you want to lose weight, take a bath and cut your hair!" lol!

msemejuru

My mother loves scrapbooking so we get together for big family gatherings she oftens has a new book ready. While we look back at pictures of my brother or I doing something goofy my father always laments "I can't believe your mother made me stay sober for that".

JennaM222

:laugh: :laugh:

I was a clumsy child. When I'd drop food in my lap while eating, he'd say, "Doesn't matter how much you feed it, it is not going to grow."

ZebraHead

Mike - Thanks for sharing that.

My dad is also gone. Some of his more memorable sayings:


"*kitten* in one hand and wish in the other and see which one get full first"

"That was hotter than a fresh f**ked fox in a forest fire"

"Keep it in your pants"

"I'll hit you so hard the next thing you know will be the last thing you remember"

"that guy, you know, nipplehead (or peckerhead)


Pick up a book called *kitten* My Dad Says. I think you'll find it a good read.

RoadDog

Mike - Thanks for sharing that.

My dad is also gone. Some of his more memorable sayings:


"*kitten* in one hand and wish in the other and see which one get full first"

Forgot about that one. Probably one of my Dad's faves. Use it all the time myself. I don't even have to say it anymore. Just lookat my daughter and hold my hands out, palms up. She rolls her eyes.

AwMyLoLo

Thank you for sharing your story :flowerforyou: It warmed my heart.

Dads are very special people, and while mine has never been the most affectionate, lovey-dovey, dad, I've always known how much he loves his girls.

"Head 'em up! And move 'em out!" every night at bedtime when we were little.

"AHH, DONKEY D*CKS!!" :explode: When he's working on something and it isn't going well. haha :laugh: He's so mad but how can you not laugh when someone says that?

FeistyKitty808

If you want to know the one thing he "said" that sticks out in my mind?? Whenever we took a road-trip, he'd sing: Mares eat oat and does eat oats and little lams eat ivy. A kid 'ill eat ivy too wouldn't you? I sang that to him the night he died.

My Dad used to sing that too Funny those silly little things you remember...

AwMyLoLo

"If I have to get out of this chair, I'm going to fill the room with uppercuts!"

That's hilarious!

Alysgrma

Thanks for sharing..my dad is also gone and I had forgotten this saying until your post.

We would go for Sunday drives and sometimes us kids would think we were lost...Not dad.
"We aren't lost we just don't know where we are" priceless!!

Mary

TheNewJessieMae

lol My dad says "I'm apt to beat your *kitten*" when he gets really silly

just4peachy

I’m not sleeping; I’m checking my eyelids for cracks.
Well aren’t you slicker than snot on a doorknob?
He was as nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.
Sweating like a hooker in church.
Hotter than a two dollar pistol.
(On smoking ultra light cigarettes) It’s like sucking on a t*tty through a sweater, it don’t do nothing but get the sweater wet.
I’m gonna hit you so hard your momma will hurt.
(On having to wear your seatbelt) Wanna fall out of the car? Your mom fell out of a car when she was little, that’s why she’s brain dead.
It’s colder than a witches t*tty in a brass bra.
She’s sharper than a bowling ball.
It’s colder than a well diggers *kitten*.
It’s raining like a cow pi$$ing on a flat rock.


There are a ton more but most of them are either racist (against EVERYBODY, his discrimination knows no bounds) or completely inappropriate to post. Or repeat.

ZebraHead

He was as nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

made me think:

"Busier than a one legged man at an *kitten* kickin' contest"
"Busier than a one armed paper hanger"
"Hotter than 47 hells"
"Queerer (strange not gay) than a 3 dollar bill"

He would twist "people in hell want ice water' into "people in ice want hell water".

"So poor I can't even pay attention"

brittlynne3579

Love my dad!!! Here are his faves:

"I'll ALWAYS be able to beat your a** no matter how old you and I are"
(Talking to my two older brothers)

"Don't give me tools to go squirrel hunting when there is a bear out there"
(On how we should tell him the WHOLE truth when we screw up and get in trouble)

"Sun shines on a dog's a** every once and a while"
(When we justify doing something really stupid and how it may work out)

And my ABSOLUTE favorite that I quote constantly...

"If you're passionate about everything, you're passionate about nothing"
(Letting us know that instead of being 'passionate' about a million things and half a**ing them, focus and do a tremendous job on one thing and shine)

RoadDog

My father never apologized. Granted, he was rarely wrong. Once, though, I had got in trouble for something I hadn't done. I was about 15. Can't remember what it was, but I think I was accused of doing something in the neighborhood. Anyways, my father came outside and tol me to go to my room and stay there. After I went to my room, he went to figure out what had happened. About 30 minutes later, he came up to my room.

Told me, "You can come out, I found out you didn't do it, BUT it's just like something you would have done."

That WAS an apology from my Dad.