is it ok to be a chubby chaser?

enedinaalba
enedinaalba Posts: 24
in Chit-Chat
Im on here cus I want to lose weight and get skinnier. My husband wants to too but I dont want him to... I have seen pics of when he was skinney and not attractive to me... I told him I didnt want him to lose weight but iF he truely wanted it then to just lift weights and replace the fat with muscle and not run or ride bikes cus that will just get him thin.... I have always been attracted to heavy set men no really mucle wise ... but that lumber jack look ... but i would take him all ripped out then thin ....Is it wrong of me to in a way refuse him to get a lean body?!
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Replies

  • ForeverBlackBeauty
    ForeverBlackBeauty Posts: 21
    I have this problem with my boyfriend. He doesn't want me to lose weight but he said it is up to me but he doesn't want me to get skinny which i understand cause i do not ever want to be skinny. But I can come from your husbands point of view and say that you should let him go on this journey with you.

    Was y'all together when he was smaller? if so sometimes we just want to go back to our old self. Whenever my boyfriend tells me not to lose weight it honestly hurts my feelings but i understand where he is coming from because he met me how I am now.

    I think you should give him a chance but if that's your husband i believe you should support him for wanting to get to a healthy size :)
  • Behxo
    Behxo Posts: 1,190 Member
    relationships shouldn't be based purely on looks, he should do what makes him happy and healthy. If you honestly can't stand looking at him any more for making himself thinner then you guys probably shouldn't be together, telling someone to stay fat for your own personal interest sounds a bit selfish to me.
  • BlondeButtercup127
    BlondeButtercup127 Posts: 750 Member
    relationships shouldn't be based purely on looks, he should do what makes him happy and healthy. If you honestly can't stand looking at him any more for making himself thinner then you guys probably shouldn't be together, telling someone to stay fat for your own personal interest sounds a bit selfish to me.

    I have to agree with this
  • TheNewPriceIsLoading
    TheNewPriceIsLoading Posts: 2,135 Member
    relationships shouldn't be based purely on looks, he should do what makes him happy and healthy. If you honestly can't stand looking at him any more for making himself thinner then you guys probably shouldn't be together, telling someone to stay fat for your own personal interest sounds a bit selfish to me.

    Beautifully said. :flowerforyou:
  • _Lovely77_
    _Lovely77_ Posts: 993 Member
    If he doesn't do cardiovascular workouts and just weight lifts he would actually get bigger. No such thing as turning fat into muscle that's why men who are looking to get fit, cut then bulk for their muscle. All it would do is cause muscle to build under the fat, it would do him no good not to run, walk or even diet. I think if he is your husband you should be past the physical phase and focus more on him as a person and his health. Looks don't last and even before they go, it still isn't enough to sustain a happy relationship. I think if he really wants this, what you want as it doesn't sound like it's about him at all but about you only, that should be put on the back burner and support him as much as you want the support for your journey.
  • _Lovely77_
    _Lovely77_ Posts: 993 Member
    So to answer your question, it's totally OK to be a "chubby chaser" so long as that's what the person you're with wants as well.
  • enedinaalba
    enedinaalba Posts: 24
    Well I wasnt with him when he was skinney but he told me how he got skinney he said he would in a way starve he has a mentality to lose weight is to not eat and in his pics it showed alot! I love my husband no matter if he went all skinney he wanted my opinion and I told him. I just dont want to see him like I did in the pics..but you are all right.. instead of voicing my wants I should be more supportive...
  • enedinaalba
    enedinaalba Posts: 24
    If he doesn't do cardiovascular workouts and just weight lifts he would actually get bigger. No such thing as turning fat into muscle that's why men who are looking to get fit, cut then bulk for their muscle. All it would do is cause muscle to build under the fat, it would do him no good not to run, walk or even diet. I think if he is your husband you should be past the physical phase and focus more on him as a person and his health. Looks don't last and even before they go, it still isn't enough to sustain a happy relationship. I think if he really wants this, what you want as it doesn't sound like it's about him at all but about you only, that should be put on the back burner and support him as much as you want the support for your journey.

    I did not know that ... I always was told the more muscles you have the more fat is burned when exercising.. that your fat is fuel for your muscles. ... thanks for telling me the right way..
  • ForeverBlackBeauty
    ForeverBlackBeauty Posts: 21
    Well I wasnt with him when he was skinney but he told me how he got skinney he said he would in a way starve he has a mentality to lose weight is to not eat and in his pics it showed alot! I love my husband no matter if he went all skinney he wanted my opinion and I told him. I just dont want to see him like I did in the pics..but you are all right.. instead of voicing my wants I should be more supportive...

    Well there is a difference between skinny and being fit. He shouldn't be starving himself cause that just backfires and make you bigger then you were at first once he starts eating again
  • _Lovely77_
    _Lovely77_ Posts: 993 Member
    If he doesn't do cardiovascular workouts and just weight lifts he would actually get bigger. No such thing as turning fat into muscle that's why men who are looking to get fit, cut then bulk for their muscle. All it would do is cause muscle to build under the fat, it would do him no good not to run, walk or even diet. I think if he is your husband you should be past the physical phase and focus more on him as a person and his health. Looks don't last and even before they go, it still isn't enough to sustain a happy relationship. I think if he really wants this, what you want as it doesn't sound like it's about him at all but about you only, that should be put on the back burner and support him as much as you want the support for your journey.

    I did not know that ... I always was told the more muscles you have the more fat is burned when exercising.. that your fat is fuel for your muscles. ... thanks for telling me the right way..

    well you're half right as well. The more muscle or lean mass someone has, the more fat burning you get from your work outs, however, cardio is what burns fat, weight lifting does to a certain extent as any workout is going to burn something but it wouldn't be enough and any weight loss program that is efficient is going to be a good balance of both. Many full body resistance workouts do wonders for the body and they say to do that to lose inches but that is because they help build muscle and muscle especially for the stomach "holds everything in" if that makes sense. But it does no good if all that muscle is under layers and layers of fat. And you're right, he should NEVER starve himself, that can cause a large amount of other issues as it's very unhealthy and also does nothing for his muscle mass, you don't fuel it it will break down. Just help him do it the right way this time and be his support to do what is healthy for him and ask that he does the same for you.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    So you want an unhealthy, uncomfortable husband so you can feel horny?

    OK.
  • Mikkimeow
    Mikkimeow Posts: 1,282 Member
    While I resent the term "chubby chaser", everyone has what they want. That being said, health is equally important.

    *Also, you have to think about the health of your husband. Would you rather him be fat than healthy and fit?
  • Julzanne72
    Julzanne72 Posts: 468 Member
    Im on here cus I want to lose weight and get skinnier. My husband wants to too but I dont want him to... I have seen pics of when he was skinney and not attractive to me... I told him I didnt want him to lose weight but iF he truely wanted it then to just lift weights and replace the fat with muscle and not run or ride bikes cus that will just get him thin.... I have always been attracted to heavy set men no really mucle wise ... but that lumber jack look ... but i would take him all ripped out then thin ....Is it wrong of me to in a way refuse him to get a lean body?!

    Um....you really shouldn't dictate whether or not he can lose weight. If he is your husband you should love him regardless of his body type, and be attracted to him either way. To say I don't want him to be think but I would take him if he was ripped sounds pretty shallow!
  • srslybritt
    srslybritt Posts: 1,618 Member
    I'd much rather have a healthy husband, but that's just me. Also, doing cardio isn't going to magically make him skinny, but it WILL help him have a healthier heart.

    Sorry, OP, but you're just being selfish.
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
    This sounds so selfish to me.

    Obviously, your husband shouldn't be starving himself but if he wants to lose weight and be more fit, you should support his goals. Who are you to tell him what exercises he should be doing? If this was reversed, and it was a guy saying this about his girlfriend, all hell would be breaking lose on this thread.
  • Lemongrab13
    Lemongrab13 Posts: 206 Member
    While physical attraction is very important (regardless of what they say) you need to place your husband's health and happiness ahead of what appeals to you.
    Considering you're married I'll go ahead and assume you love him. So while him being thinner (not necessarily skinny, so long as he focuses on both strength training and diet) might not look as great to you, you'll adjust to it. And the fact he'll feel good will only enhance your marriage.
  • mojohowitz
    mojohowitz Posts: 900 Member
    Im on here cus I want to lose weight and get skinnier. My husband wants to too but I dont want him to... I have seen pics of when he was skinney and not attractive to me... I told him I didnt want him to lose weight but iF he truely wanted it then to just lift weights and replace the fat with muscle and not run or ride bikes cus that will just get him thin.... I have always been attracted to heavy set men no really mucle wise ... but that lumber jack look ... but i would take him all ripped out then thin ....Is it wrong of me to in a way refuse him to get a lean body?!

    Yes.
  • ew_david
    ew_david Posts: 3,473 Member
    You guys are on your way to a long, healthy marriage it sounds like!
  • Lemongrab13
    Lemongrab13 Posts: 206 Member
    In regards to him starving, I'd suggest getting him to sign up here.
    Members will quickly slap the silly out of him.
  • JoelleAnn78
    JoelleAnn78 Posts: 1,492 Member
    Have you thought about what you would want in the reverse? What if your husband was "losing weight and getting skinnier" and you wanted to as well, but he told you he didn't want you to? How would you feel? OR, what if, right now, while you are on your way to fit and skinnier, your husband said he didn't want you to?
  • enedinaalba
    enedinaalba Posts: 24
    He told me the same thing didnt want me to lose weight actually got mad a little... but I told him it is because im not haopy with myself and he told me to just lose till I got curvy cus he doesnt want me skinney fit... and im totaly ok with that it actually makes me feel good in a way that he is happy with what I look like now..
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    Lolz.
  • enedinaalba
    enedinaalba Posts: 24
    Im 251 and he told me just lose weight to 200 and im ok with it .. yeah I want to go to 170 but never know I might just stay at 200 for him
  • George_Baileys_Ghost
    George_Baileys_Ghost Posts: 1,524 Member
    Gosh I hope so! The day that becomes wrong is the day that my entire FL will delete me!
  • Kamikazeflutterby
    Kamikazeflutterby Posts: 770 Member
    Neither you or your husband are going to instantly lose weight. It will happen over time, and there will be no shocking moment of change. You are not going to go straight from your husband as he is now to the skinny guy in the picture. Relax.
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
    Im 251 and he told me just lose weight to 200 and im ok with it .. yeah I want to go to 170 but never know I might just stay at 200 for him

    Yep, sounds totally healthy.
  • rachelrb85
    rachelrb85 Posts: 579 Member
    If my husband told me I could only do cardio but not lift weights or vice versa because he wants me to have a certain type of physique... he would no longer be my husband.
  • GingerLolita
    GingerLolita Posts: 738 Member
    It seems like both of you are enabling each other to be heavy. Aesthetic preferences aside, you should want each other to be healthy.
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    ...

    Is this real life?
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
    If he doesn't do cardiovascular workouts and just weight lifts he would actually get bigger. No such thing as turning fat into muscle that's why men who are looking to get fit, cut then bulk for their muscle. All it would do is cause muscle to build under the fat, it would do him no good not to run, walk or even diet. I think if he is your husband you should be past the physical phase and focus more on him as a person and his health. Looks don't last and even before they go, it still isn't enough to sustain a happy relationship. I think if he really wants this, what you want as it doesn't sound like it's about him at all but about you only, that should be put on the back burner and support him as much as you want the support for your journey.

    Um no. The only way to lose weight is to burn more calories than you consume. It doesn't matter what kind of exercise you do, or if you do any exercise at all.

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