No Support

brower47

How do you ladies and gents get by who have no support? I am the only person in my family that is focusing on my well-being and it is really hard. I find people start ignoring me when I start talking about my progress. I am proud of pushing myself but, even my husband doesn't say anything. I watch everything that goes into my body and track my calories burned while everyone else will make late night "munchie runs" and sit there and eat a whole bag of chips or worse. How do you not lose motivation when everywhere you turn there is people not caring?

My husband isn't trying to lose weight with me. He continues to eat chips, drink beer and anything else that he wants. That does not equate to lack of support.

I don't talk about my diet and exercise all the time unless it's to say something like "I just got a new lifting PR" or "That run really wiped me out." I rarely says anything more than the obligatory, 'good job'. I don't talk about my food and if I did, I'm sure I too would eventually get ignored because that's not interesting at all to anyone but myself. Again, this does not equate to a lack of support.

I don't lose my motivation simply because it doesn't matter if I have a cheering section or not. I just have to get it done if I want to see results. I want to see results so I don't stop.

Jessie24330

I deleted all my friends off here a few months ago. I don't have any support in real life and I don't want to become dependant on it on here. I worry it will affect my long term success if I don't just rely on myself for this stuff. Of course, I am still active on the forum but that is it. The weight I lose and the choices I make are all me. It may not work for others but that is the way I need it to be. Please don't rely too much on others for support or I fear that you will be setting yourself up for long term failure.

Kalikel

If you're internally motivated, you don't need their support. It would surely be nice to have, though! Unless you're talking about it too much, like every other day, I can't believe they don't support you! Not nice!

If you're bringing it up several times a week, they're going to get really sick of it, though. Interesting to you, but boring to them.

The fact that you are losing weight and eating healthier (or just less) doesn't mean they have to make changes. Just as well that they don't, as it gives you practice being around the food and not eating it.

Once your weight loss starts showing, people will start commenting on it. Promise. You'll get so many comments and questions that you'll wish it would just stop. There will probably be at least one person who tries to discourage you, too. Some fat friend or relative will tease you and suggest ice cream and crap like that. Maybe not, but don't be shocked if it happens.

Fsunami

1) Its why you have us.

2) External validation is a trap - .avoid it. This is a thing you DO, not a definition of you ARE

3) Some people arent verbal.

None of that means the people in your life dont care.

And if they dont, you can be damn sure we do, because we've been there.

FR on the way

Fsunami

willrun4bagels

I don't discuss my goals or progress with anyone aside from my SO and my MFP friends (one of whom I am friends with IRL so that helps). Not even immediate family or other close friends... they're all either not interested, haters, yo-yo dieters, or have some great Dr. Oz cleanse or Herbalife shake to tell me about...

amusedmonkey

I might be in the minority here, but I actually find external support to be a bad thing for me. I don't work well under stress at all. When I do my own thing, losing on some weeks, maintaining on others, eating whatever I want and exercising when I feel up to it I end up making progress.

When others are involved I feel the constant pressure to deliver. Even if that person is encouraging and supportive no matter how many weeks I don't lose weight, my need to do it perfectly in another person's eyes keeps me stressing and obsessing. I Work out through pain to keep up with the expectations until I burn out, I find myself saying no to things I like more often than I would like then feel deprived, I feel the need to stick to rules more often .

In my family life is what it's always have been. No comments on my food choices, a few comments every now and then about my weight coming off, and no one discusses food with me other than we discuss how delicious a certain dish is, regardless of calories. Even though it means more temptations, passive support (people staying out of my way) is what works for me.

On MFP it's different. I have friends who I love but I don't feel pressured into "sticking to the rules". They would cheer me on every now and then and we may have a few conversations, and I'm relaxed about it, because I know if someone becomes a source of stress then it's easy to click the "close" sign on my browser.

Liftng4Lis

For me this is an inside job. I started this for ME because I want to get healthier. I didn't tell anyone when I joined a gym and started tracking, same as I didn't tell anyone in the real world, 4 weeks ago that I had quit smoke until after a week. I don't need their support I have met many friends on here where I get daily encouragement. People not in the same position don't understand how great it feels to lose a pound or how upsetting it is to go 3 weeks and not lose one.

beckyjeanleemaddox

It was like that at first for me but now my family is eating healthier too. But i've found you have to do it for you. Everyone gets bored of hearing about my progress, I don't blame them. So I talk less about it and just do it for me.

Bellavita2888

" I'm committed to this because I choose to love myself and I don't want to be limited by my weight. " I'm committed to this because I choose to love myself and I don't want to be limited by my weight. Very nicely said