What to tell people when you don't want to eat it!

fromaquasar

I actually do think it's rude to go to someone's house for the sole reason of attending a dinner party only to decline their food. If you don't like their cooking or the kinds of foods they serve, don't go.

Also, I advise against lying. If it's friends or family they will either know that you don't have an allergy or intolerance, or they will be with you at some point when you will forget about your lie and they will catch you eating food you said you couldn't have.

Really?! I have plenty of family and friends I love to see and spend time with who have chosen different lifestyles to me - so I should give up seeing them because it is just TOO rude to turn down food! - it's not about the dinner it's about the people!

Isn't it ruder to always turn down invitations or try and force your lifestyle on other people? I think that is part of the larger problem, what you put into your body is your personal choice, that society sees it as offensive to turn things away that are unhealthy or too much for us is a serious psychological issue for all of us!

I agree about the lying to an extent - but you are saying we shouldn't lie because we might get caught! Not because dishonesty is wrong. The fact is that most peoples networks force them to lie because of peoples own issues they struggle to be supportive of others living healthy lifestyles. I think I would love to be strong and resolved enough to say No dammit I'm eating what I want every-time but sometimes I'm not and I don't want that to impact my life so I will tell little fibs to get around it while I work on the resolve thing

fromaquasar

I actually do think it's rude to go to someone's house for the sole reason of attending a dinner party only to decline their food. If you don't like their cooking or the kinds of foods they serve, don't go.

Also, I advise against lying. If it's friends or family they will either know that you don't have an allergy or intolerance, or they will be with you at some point when you will forget about your lie and they will catch you eating food you said you couldn't have.

Really?! I have plenty of family and friends I love to see and spend time with who have chosen different lifestyles to me - so I should give up seeing them because it is just TOO rude to turn down food! - it's not about the dinner it's about the people!

Isn't it ruder to always turn down invitations or try and force your lifestyle on other people? I think that is part of the larger problem, what you put into your body is your personal choice, that society sees it as offensive to turn things away that are unhealthy or too much for us is a serious psychological issue for all of us!

I agree about the lying to an extent - but you are saying we shouldn't lie because we might get caught! Not because dishonesty is wrong. The fact is that most peoples networks force them to lie because of peoples own issues they struggle to be supportive of others living healthy lifestyles. I think I would love to be strong and resolved enough to say No dammit I'm eating what I want every-time but sometimes I'm not and I don't want that to impact my life so I will tell little fibs to get around it while I work on the resolve thing

kiffypooh

bump for later

TaneeisFitforLife

Now? I tell then "no thank you" & they leave me alone lol

When I first started? I would lie & say I'm pre-diabetic. Bad to lie like that, I know but people didn't question it

AsaThorsWoman

In my spirituality gift-giving, hospitality, dining and drinking together are a huge part of bonding, showing mutual respect and love. It's to the extent that refusing a drink or food is considered highly rude and a sign that you dis-respect or intend on breaking friendship with the person/group you deny.

In mundane settings, when I'm offered a drink, a beer or a horn of mead, I say "I'll have a water for now" but when it's time to pass the horn you better take small sips and smile!

I love our best cook, but I swear she cooks carrots in a whole pound of butter. If you've got a set of matching soup bowls and they all say "Country Crock" you might be a redneck.

clairebeej

This is a toughie. If you're just visiting and they offer up goodies to be nice, it's fine to just say "oh those look delicious but I'm really stuffed (so make sure you did eat before you go to visit them!)...I might try to fit one in later though"....and then move on.

If you're going to visit for the sole purpose of having dinner with them, then one thing to do before-hand is offer to bring something with you - a huge salad works a treat - or a plate of raw vegetables and dip while you catch up before dinner is ready.

If you don't know what you might get and then arrive to find all the worst things you can imagine, then just try a little to be a polite and let them know that you're really trying to be good lately, wanting to be healthier but that it is delicious. Try to pile your plate with vegetables if possible. You don't have to get into a big discussion about nutrition or dieting. Plus I've found that the more I decline to eat the bad stodgy food, the more the worst "pushers" in my life have started to accept that it's no fun trying to tempt me anymore and they've backed off.

As for friends who I get together with for dinner regularly, they have gotten used to seeing the healthier options on my plate (and the ones I sever THEM when they visit me) and started thinking of other options. At the very least, there's usually a salad I can tuck into and when my plate is full, no-one really pays attention to what it is full of.

Planning ahead of time to know just what you can and cannot get away with in your daily allowance really helps too. If you eat the wrong things for one dinner a month, it's not going to do a whole lot of harm.

But lying isn't necessary. Be honest about your feelings and people will eventually get the picture. Be strong!

ammp

I blame an upset tummy - "Looks so good, but I had some bad Chinese last night that's just not sitting well". Bonus points if your stomach gurgles or you can burp on cue.

Shash27

I simply say "I'm on a diet" and if they say "aww one wont kill you" I usually say "actually believe me, it might, with my personality one taste and I'm on the road to ruin... it's a very slippery slope, today I have that cupcake, tomorrow I have a whole cake, by Thursday I've lost my job, and by next weekend I'm doing lines of coke off of a hookers *kitten* in the restroom at the bus station... do you want to be responsible for that?"

Usually that shuts 'em up

LMAO!! That's awesome.

But I usually just say "No Thank You" I think it's rude to say "WHY AREN'T YOU EATING THAT??" It's really none of their business why you say "No thank you". I've even told my boyfriend's mom (my future mother in law) I'm on a diet when I declined an item at dinner..I was afraid she'd be offended..but it actually made her respect me and my will power :-)

SkierElle

Thanks for the suggestions everyone!!!

It's hard to predict what is going to be served at a dinner party. As much as I'd like everyone around me to know I dont eat this, this and this for these reasons, it's not going to go down pretty. Especially in college, where everyone throws caution to the wind and eats and drinks whatever they feel like.

I don't think I will use the allergy excuse, but I will use the excuse that some foods ie. flour and sugar cause me to feel crappy. Especially now that I have finals and need to eat the healthy stuff!

Keep it up guys and gals, I love the funny suggestions, and the ones that just plain shut people up! Especially, if man made it, I don't eat it! My roommie and I were just joking that we put *secret ingredients* in our dishes for the potluck tonight - haha! You never know what people could put in something! lol

Birdnicaj

"yes please, a little" then take a little plus plenty of salad and anything else edible that is being served. Proceed to eat the good stuff, mush the offending item around on plate. Done.

utamore

My strategies:

1) I almost never refuse food, but when I do, I just say no thanks. Whoever said that refusing food is rude--that's crazy talk--but I do think that you score points with people by accepting food, so I do it to earn some kudos. So how the heck to I still make my calorie limits!?

2) If the food item in question is something you serve yourself (i.e. "here, have some more mashed potatoes"), I take a very small amount. If I'm at a dinner where there's family-style serving, I count on inevitably having to take seconds to show my appreciation and so I always take basically one-bite portions of the bad stuff on the first go-round.

3) If the food item in question is a whole serving (i.e. "you absolutely must have THIS GIGANTIC PIECE OF CAKE," [puts in my hands]), then I have one of two sub-strategies:

a) Taste and ditch. Take a bite/sip/whatever, pretend to be hugely impressed, wander off and ditch the rest in the trash. This was very hard from me coming from a plate-cleaning no-waste culture, but the reality is, if you're going to diet successfully, you have to get comfortable with the idea of throwing unnecessary food away. Better in the trash than in your gut.

b) If all else fails, allocate before-hand. Whoever said you should just avoid going to people's houses where you know they're going to try to make you ead bad food is also crazy sauce--guess what: most of America eats badly. You still want some friends lol. So if you know you have a risk of being faced with people who will literally stare you down and watch you eat that thousand calorie cheesecake slice they pushed in front of you, you just have to maintain a huge deficit leading up to dinner. I make a habit of saving 800 calories for dinner with family members and sometimes over 1,000 for cocktail parties for exactly this reason. Works well for me, even if I am hungry most of the day ;-)

I always get to pretend in public that I can eat whatever I want and that I'm not on any diet because of these strategies. It makes it look easy to lose weight/be skinny and you don't get ostricized as a party pooper. Win-Win.

marianpp

I simply say "I'm on a diet" and if they say "aww one wont kill you" I usually say "actually believe me, it might, with my personality one taste and I'm on the road to ruin... it's a very slippery slope, today I have that cupcake, tomorrow I have a whole cake, by Thursday I've lost my job, and by next weekend I'm doing lines of coke off of a hookers *kitten* in the restroom at the bus station... do you want to be responsible for that?"

Usually that shuts 'em up

I love it i will use that from now on

bellinachuchina

Love the "I might do a line off a hooker's *kitten* excuse" classic, will have to use that next time! lmao!!

Other than that, with people that have no sense of humor, I try:

"Oh, no thank you"

"I'm good, thank you anyways"

"Maybe in a minute, I'm not really hungry right now"

"Oh, I ate before I came/I ate not too long ago"

After each of these lines, I usually try to get away from the person offering or food being served. It's such an awkward situation when people offer things that are detrimental to your weight. I sometimes feel anxious when I'm put in this situation, but since I've done it for so long, it's becoming habitual to respond with one of the above phrases. Good luck

bellinachuchina

I blame an upset tummy - "Looks so good, but I had some bad Chinese last night that's just not sitting well". Bonus points if your stomach gurgles or you can burp on cue.

OoOoo....that's a good one!

bellinachuchina

I make a habit of saving 800 calories for dinner with family members and sometimes over 1,000 for cocktail parties for exactly this reason. Works well for me, even if I am hungry most of the day ;-)

I always get to pretend in public that I can eat whatever I want and that I'm not on any diet because of these strategies. It makes it look easy to lose weight/be skinny and you don't get ostricized as a party pooper. Win-Win.

I do this too, especially when I know I have an unavoidable bad food/drink event coming up...such as my cousin's wedding that I'm a bridesmaid in, Dec. 18th...lol!

sanura

If I am hosting a dinner, I would appreciate polite honesty, "no, thank you" is fine for me. If you have serious allergies or preferences I would like to know in advance so I can accomodate it (for example I'm vegan, my dad's diabetic, etc)

as a guest I try to find things I can have and appreciate that, again a simple no thank you usually works, if the host is really pushy then I'll talk more about being vegan/trying to feel better/losing weight. etc

gotta say I loved Chuck's answer too!!!

PJilly

I don't think saying no is a bad thing. No thank you works for me, and if they ask if your on a diet, just say no. You don't have to get into the lifestyle change angle either. Its your body, you don't have to answer to anyone about what you eat or decide not to eat.

This is my favorite response.

AKosky585

I usually just say 'no thanks' and if they push it, I say, "Im stuffed right now...maybe later" and they leave it alone.

michele0101

bump

nsueflorence

I simply say "I'm on a diet" and if they say "aww one wont kill you" I usually say "actually believe me, it might, with my personality one taste and I'm on the road to ruin... it's a very slippery slope, today I have that cupcake, tomorrow I have a whole cake, by Thursday I've lost my job, and by next weekend I'm doing lines of coke off of a hookers *kitten* in the restroom at the bus station... do you want to be responsible for that?"

Usually that shuts 'em up

oh that was funny!

collettemrk

Most days I do my calorie burn early in the day.So when I'm eating with people that want me to "try" something I know isn't good for me I just tell them I didn't pedal 25 miles in the morning just to ruin it with bad choices about what goes in my mouth.Most understand.

Jbwilson0708

Omgi love this thread thank you for all the great ideas i will need it when the hubby drags me to his familys house on christmas ...

rnroadrunner

I simply say "I'm on a diet" and if they say "aww one wont kill you" I usually say "actually believe me, it might, with my personality one taste and I'm on the road to ruin... it's a very slippery slope, today I have that cupcake, tomorrow I have a whole cake, by Thursday I've lost my job, and by next weekend I'm doing lines of coke off of a hookers *kitten* in the restroom at the bus station... do you want to be responsible for that?"

Usually that shuts 'em up

:laugh: :laugh: :drinker:

SkierElle

Most days I do my calorie burn early in the day.So when I'm eating with people that want me to "try" something I know isn't good for me I just tell them I didn't pedal 25 miles in the morning just to ruin it with bad choices about what goes in my mouth.Most understand.

haha that's awesome! mine will be "i didnt jump out of bed this morning at 5:30 to get my workout in to waste it later!"

LotusF1ower

I simply say "I'm on a diet" and if they say "aww one wont kill you" I usually say "actually believe me, it might, with my personality one taste and I'm on the road to ruin... it's a very slippery slope, today I have that cupcake, tomorrow I have a whole cake, by Thursday I've lost my job, and by next weekend I'm doing lines of coke off of a hookers *kitten* in the restroom at the bus station... do you want to be responsible for that?"

Usually that shuts 'em up

BAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Wouldn't it just be easier to tell the host/ess "you're food tastes likes cat's piss"? :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

tessjordan88

How about, "Sorry, I had to cut my afternoon workout short to get here on time. I can't go over on my calories today."

TakeOne

I usually just say "I'm still deciding what I want." Which is tech true because I am deciding what I want to have instead of the high cal/fat crap they are pushin.