Time For Us To Face The Truth?

hedean

Hi Hannah,

I agree with most of what others have said on this thread. One thing I would add is that you are young and you just need to commit to the lifestyle change that will lead to a physically healthier body, which in turn will help you in your mental well being. The younger you are and can get into that lifestyle, probably the better. It's like someone who has been smoking 40 years and then the doc says it is time to quit or else...it'll be a struggle.

I worked doing landscaping up until I was almost 30...could never gain weight and was always underweight. Then I went to college and got a desk job. Now I am 60 pounds overweight. I'm also 52 years old...much makes it more difficult to get out of eating and exercise habits that were of a negative consequence. Not only is my health at risk, but my LIFE. I had a colleague, just a few years older than me, die on a treadmill in a hotel gym recently. It puts things in perspective. Maybe if he didn't wait so long to get fit his body would have tolerated the exercise better.

Just realize the person saying he doesn't understand why people keep eating things when they know they aren't good for them doesn't understand how lifestyle choices are sometimes impacted by underlying issues...maybe addiction...maybe coping mechanisms...maybe a whole host of things that are on an emotional or mental level that differs for every individual. He's not considering the whole picture, just how he interprets the situation for his personal case.

Thank you for such a kind and well-thought-out response. It means so much more to me hearing from people like you who can tell me the truth but also can say "hey I understand what you're going through". I will think back to this often because I agree that it is very important to start your good habits when you are young. Now is the time for me to get into a groove of healthy living. Also, addiction does run in the family and compared to the choices others have made, my being overweight doesn't always seem like the worst thing. It still shouldn't be overlooked though.

jimmmer

But I guess all in all, yes it is a choice, and yes I have chosen to not make the change.

Right on.

I would like to say that I don't think either choice is inherently "wrong" or "bad." There can be negative health impacts of certain choices. But it's your life and your health. It's really nobody's business.

That said, I've never heard of anyone who succeeded at getting fit saying, "you know what... I just feel happier when I'm out of shape and overweight!"

Either way, best of luck.

People get in great shape all the time, realise it didn't make them happy and end up sliding back to their old life.

It's a thing.

hedean

But I guess all in all, yes it is a choice, and yes I have chosen to not make the change.

Right on.

I would like to say that I don't think either choice is inherently "wrong" or "bad." There can be negative health impacts of certain choices. But it's your life and your health. It's really nobody's business.

That said, I've never heard of anyone who succeeded at getting fit saying, "you know what... I just feel happier when I'm out of shape and overweight!"

Either way, best of luck.

People get in great shape all the time, realise it didn't make them happy and end up sliding back to their old life.

It's a thing.

Yes you are so right. Actually I am glad I can quote you here to say that I have loved all of your comments so far and thank you for the great insight! I have lost lots of weight before and I got so neurotic about it that I decided I was tired, and I just wanted a normal life back. I went a little over-board on that whole idea, but still it happens frequently to people.

meridianova

Weight is about 50-70% genetic- that's not to say we don't have control over it, we do- but I think the experiences people have with their weight control vary dramatically (and therefore, the understanding they have for other people who struggle with their weight).

Actually shape and height are genetic, weight isn't. Weight is directly a result of how someone supplies calories and nutrients on a daily basis.

A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

i'm sorry, but this is confusing me. i get that shape (frame) and height are genetic, but why does that rule out how our bodies process incoming fuel and how efficiently it's burned as also being genetic? where our ancestors came from and how they managed food is hard-coded into our DNA. that's not something we can easily override. and since none of us came out with users manuals to tell us exactly what our optimum levels of whatever were going to be, or when our parts were going to wear out, or if something was faulty from the factory, figuring out how to effectively care for ourselves is little more than guesswork. some of us have an easier time of it than others, but all too often those who have an easy time of it have no empathy for those who have a harder time.

if our weight is a direct result of how our bodies process fuel, then that makes it genetic.

Meerataila

First I would get an accurate digital scale and weigh in once or twice a week for awhile. If you are steadily gaining, even slowly, that could be an issue worth putting a halt to right now. Not necessarily by losing, but by ensuring you don't gain until it does become a health issue.

Second, I'd try to incorporate healthy, energy giving fruits and veggies and nuts into my diet every day. Just little things like that can improve your life, health, mood, and even brain power without you having to obsess over calorie counting. In other words, you can make a small change to how you eat that will make your life even better. Bonus if you find any physical activity you find enjoyable, even if it's only a half hour a few times a week. Again, this isn't for weight loss, it's to give yourself more energy, happiness, and brain power.

Third, if you didn't already, I'd thank your friend for being kind and honest enough to share his opinion, whether you take his advice or not. It sounds like he means you nothing but good.

4legsRbetterthan2

I left myself alone about my weight for several years. I had other priorities, right or wrong. When the time was right--and my mind was right--I made the changes without any input or suggestions or "cold hard truth" from anyone other than myself. And I believe that's why it stuck this time.

Yup.

I love this

4legsRbetterthan2

Weight is about 50-70% genetic- that's not to say we don't have control over it, we do- but I think the experiences people have with their weight control vary dramatically (and therefore, the understanding they have for other people who struggle with their weight).

Actually shape and height are genetic, weight isn't. Weight is directly a result of how someone supplies calories and nutrients on a daily basis.

A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

i'm sorry, but this is confusing me. i get that shape (frame) and height are genetic, but why does that rule out how our bodies process incoming fuel and how efficiently it's burned as also being genetic? where our ancestors came from and how they managed food is hard-coded into our DNA. that's not something we can easily override. and since none of us came out with users manuals to tell us exactly what our optimum levels of whatever were going to be, or when our parts were going to wear out, or if something was faulty from the factory, figuring out how to effectively care for ourselves is little more than guesswork. some of us have an easier time of it than others, but all too often those who have an easy time of it have no empathy for those who have a harder time.

if our weight is a direct result of how our bodies process fuel, then that makes it genetic.

Yes, genetics impact your equation for energy usage but you still control what goes in and how much you move. Aside from extenuating circumstances you can still tweak your diet to your own personal needs. There may not be a manual specific to you but there is always trail and error.

Francl27

Do it for yourself if you're going to do it. As to answer your friend's question, it's easy, for me eating has always been a pleasure/hobby and everything in my life has always been associated with food, and it mattered more to me at the time than being healthy. So yes, it's a question of priorities.

likitisplit

But I guess all in all, yes it is a choice, and yes I have chosen to not make the change.

Right on.

I would like to say that I don't think either choice is inherently "wrong" or "bad." There can be negative health impacts of certain choices. But it's your life and your health. It's really nobody's business.

That said, I've never heard of anyone who succeeded at getting fit saying, "you know what... I just feel happier when I'm out of shape and overweight!"

Either way, best of luck.

People get in great shape all the time, realise it didn't make them happy and end up sliding back to their old life.

It's a thing.

Yes you are so right. Actually I am glad I can quote you here to say that I have loved all of your comments so far and thank you for the great insight! I have lost lots of weight before and I got so neurotic about it that I decided I was tired, and I just wanted a normal life back. I went a little over-board on that whole idea, but still it happens frequently to people.

The great thing about MFP is that you can figure out what "balanced" looks like in hard, clear numbers. It gives you the feedback you need to be able to experiment with how Friday pizza night affects the rest of your diet or whether 30 minutes of exercise five days a week does what you need it to be doing. A lot of people have found it to be really freeing.

cebreisch

Everyone has a different opinion of "fine" or "healthy".

Not a big fan of how people (not just him) say they don't know how people can knowingly continue on a path that leads them to obesity. Yes, there are many things that can impact someone's ability to lose weight regarding their medical situation (hormone imbalances, medications, etc.) and/or where they are mentally. I mean - fear can be a big hindrance too. Fear of failure or fear of success. Sometimes, there are other priorities in life that cause other things to be pushed back too....and a person can sometimes only focus on one thing at a time.

I think there are people who've never had issue with their weight and it's hard for them to perceive what it's like for someone who's overweight. They don't realize the embarrassing situations it can put people in. I remember when I flew down to Florida last fall. My dad asked how my weight was doing. I told him that it was doing okay, but at that point I was about where I am now. I was able to go thru the airport without it being a big deal. I could fit in an airplane seat without spilling over into the next seat. I didn't have to ask for a seat-belt extender either. As I went thru all the things I was able to do that I haven't been able to do in some time, my mother and sisters mouths dropped open. They said they had no idea that I was going through all of that. Of course they wouldn't. They've never been morbidly obese!! I wasn't purposefully trying to eat myself into oblivion. I don't think anybody does.

The questions I have for you include: are there things you'd like to do that you might be scared to do or otherwise concerned due to your weight? Are there other medical complications that are worrisome that your weight is exacerbating? Or is your weight just bugging you enough to encourage you to want to do something about it?

Whatever the case, it has to be something that YOU want to do FOR YOU. Not because someone else thinks your fat where you are right now.

tennisgirl444

"So "naturally skinny" people have no empathy? Only on mfp could this be said without a trace of irony."
Note the smiley face after my sentence.

And yes, weight is partly genetic. Like I said, this does NOT mean it's not changeable and we don't have any control over it, but it's definitely partly genetic- although more like 30-50% than the 50-70% I said from memory :-D. There are definitely individual differences in HOW easy it is to maintain a healthy weight. This is not to be said that someone can NOT maintain a healthy weight- just that there are individual differences in how easy it is. Along the same lines, several genes are associated with susceptibility to obesity. Again, this does NOT mean we can't affect our weight. You can read several articles on this such as:
McPherson, M. (2007). Genetic contributors to obesity. The Canadian Journal of Cardiology, 23, 23A-27A.
Ichihara, S. & Yamada, Y. (2008). Genetic factors for human obesity. Cellular and Molecular Life Sciences, 65, 1086-1098. doi: 10.1007/s00018-007-7453-8

Shawshankcan

You asked how to feel?

Find happiness where you want.

LoneWolfRunner

OP... here is blunt honesty...you are a very pretty girl.... when you drop the extra pounds (which you will), you will be smokin' hot...

hedean

OP... here is blunt honesty...you are a very pretty girl.... when you drop the extra pounds (which you will), you will be smokin' hot...

Well let me thank you so much for the laugh and boost of confidence you just gave me! That is inspiring to hear!