I feel MORE anxious with exercise - thoughts?

CJReg119

First, thanks for any thoughts the group may have. I really do want info and I wish I loved all this in this topic but I don't - and it's very emotional for me because I feel so bad about it and rather alone. I have a long way to go to being fit. About 5 years ago, I lost 80 pounds but failed and gained it back. I did exercise at that time but have always HATED it. Even when I lost the weight, I hated working out. I hate it now. It is painful (I have very, very bad knees (will need replacement sooner rather than later), so between joint pain and the awful "burning" pain in my muscles, it is SO very physically uncomfortable to exercise. I hate sweating and feel dirty when I workout. But it's the anxiety that makes it truly awful. I worry that I don't do it right or for long enough or that I look ridiculous and that I am wasting my time because I can only do a brief time with anything cardio. Everyone I talk with mentions always feeling great after working out; calm, peaceful, clears their heads. Not me - I feel anxious and uncomfortable the whole time doing it and worse when it's over. I believe I have something wrong with me in that I do not produce endorphins that make you feel good during or after exercise. I have read that endorphin deficiency is a real thing and don't think that can change. So now I have a new thing to feel bad about. I

Please let me say that this is what I know so any thought DIFFERENT than these will be helpful; I know to find something I "love" to do (but I don't like any of it and I've tried different things), I belong to a Planet Fitness and have had a trainer outline what to do/how long/amount of weights to lift, etc.. I just dread the whole thing. The bummer is I really want to like it. I know it's "good" for me in some way but wonder - how can it be good for me if it causes so much stress, pain and anxiety. Is there anyone else like that out there? What can I do to change this? And please, if it were as simple as "just think about it differently" those of us with anxiety issues could wish stuff like this away in a heartbeat. But it doesn't work that way. Thank you so much for your thoughts and input.

sofaking6

The endorphin thing...arrgghhh...sometimes after a hard workout I feel better than I did before, but that's mostly because I'm focused on NOW I CAN EAT and also because HEY I WORKED OUT. I've tried to find that high a billion times and it never comes.

The crappy cardio ability and the burning muscles can really only be conquered by pushing through, just a little bit a time, day after day after day after day. Eventually you will notice that getting out of breath feels like you're working hard instead of dying, and your muscles won't burn unless you move to a higher intensity level. But it takes time and the training of those muscles. I'm just getting back on track after 6 months without exercise and I'm right there with you, feeling that burn and gasping for air. In a couple more weeks I'll feel much better. That's why it's good for you

I am a sweaty pig and have found that working out first thing in the morning is best for me because then I can shower right after. It also helps with my sore joints just getting them warm and limber for the day. I hope you have good strong knee braces or wraps? I do and my knees aren't even that bad.

Have you thought about doing videos at home? Watch a bunch on youtube and see what you think you might "like" aka not totally hate. Look for instructors who show you modifications and who speak encouragingly. Depending on how much pep you can handle, Leslie Sansone might be a good place to start. She's all about "don't worry about doing the moves right just move".

I will never like exercise, but I do like the results of sticking with it. I don't like having a job either, but it pays the bills!

CJReg119

Thank you for your post. Your words mean a lot to me. Good to know someone else sort of feels the same!

mymodernbabylon

I've been an athlete all my life, including playing Div 1 field hockey in university (States). And I hate to exercise. Hate it with a passion. BUT, I like the results in the long run. I have had to take breaks due to injury (knee surgery, broken foot, ribs, etc) so I know what it's like to start new - it does hurt. But it gets better over time. It stops hurting quite as much unless you want it to (which, unbelievably, you might). After my knee surgery, I started going on the recumbent bike...very slowly, and not so long. And it got easier and better. I could watch tv or listen to a book or read while doing it.

As a therapist, I know that anxiety is tough to deal with. Have you been in therapy & used thought records? If so, bring 'em out now and use them. Think of alternative thoughts. I'll be honest with you, when I see someone who is at the gym, I think, "go you" regardless of what they are doing (cause, hell, I'm thinking, 'go me').

You can do it. You can. Even if right now you are doing 5 minutes - it's 5 minutes more than you could be doing. And perhaps over time, it'll get better - you may never love exercise (I love playing sport but it's harder to do at 45 in group sports, but hate exercise) but you may find that you can do it more easily w/o the anxiety and being kind to yourself.

smantha32

First, thanks for any thoughts the group may have. I really do want info and I wish I loved all this in this topic but I don't - and it's very emotional for me because I feel so bad about it and rather alone. I have a long way to go to being fit. About 5 years ago, I lost 80 pounds but failed and gained it back. I did exercise at that time but have always HATED it. Even when I lost the weight, I hated working out. I hate it now. It is painful (I have very, very bad knees (will need replacement sooner rather than later), so between joint pain and the awful "burning" pain in my muscles, it is SO very physically uncomfortable to exercise. I hate sweating and feel dirty when I workout. But it's the anxiety that makes it truly awful. I worry that I don't do it right or for long enough or that I look ridiculous and that I am wasting my time because I can only do a brief time with anything cardio. Everyone I talk with mentions always feeling great after working out; calm, peaceful, clears their heads. Not me - I feel anxious and uncomfortable the whole time doing it and worse when it's over. I believe I have something wrong with me in that I do not produce endorphins that make you feel good during or after exercise. I have read that endorphin deficiency is a real thing and don't think that can change. So now I have a new thing to feel bad about. I

Please let me say that this is what I know so any thought DIFFERENT than these will be helpful; I know to find something I "love" to do (but I don't like any of it and I've tried different things), I belong to a Planet Fitness and have had a trainer outline what to do/how long/amount of weights to lift, etc.. I just dread the whole thing. The bummer is I really want to like it. I know it's "good" for me in some way but wonder - how can it be good for me if it causes so much stress, pain and anxiety. Is there anyone else like that out there? What can I do to change this? And please, if it were as simple as "just think about it differently" those of us with anxiety issues could wish stuff like this away in a heartbeat. But it doesn't work that way. Thank you so much for your thoughts and input.

What about swimming? It would be easy on your joints and you wouldn't sweat.

redromad275

I think that the idea of speaking to a therapist might be a good idea. Given the amount of anxiety you convey, it seems unnatural. Maybe your first step would be to consult with your doctor and communicate exactly what you said here. They can give you an idea if it is physiological or mental. Either way it is a win/win. I can relate to anxiety issues as I deal with them everyday. Mine is different then yours but I take something for it and it makes me 100 times better to be around.

squirrelzzrule22

I also suffer from a mild anxiety disorder, although my anxiety is unrelated to exercise and actually improves when I do exercise- the added energy makes me feel so much better overall that it alleviates some anxious and fatigued feelings. But it is important to remember you are not alone, many people suffer from various degrees of anxiety, depression, or panic attacks. Almost universally, being in good physical shape HELPS these conditions, even though there is no cure. Losing weight has been shown time and time again to improve an overweight person's mental health. So please stick with it and don't give up!!!

That being said, the pain you experience when exercising WILL improve over time if you stick with it. You will get stronger and it will hurt less. As for the pain in your knees- if you have an injury you do need to be mindful of that.

Try yoga. A good vinyasa class leaves me sweaty, elevates my heartrate, leaves my arms and chest sore the next day, and is not difficult on my joints. As an added bonus I find it helps with my anxiety.

Try reading or watching TV on the elliptical. When I first started exercising I was so BORED and EXHAUSTED I needed to distract myself in order to get in 45 minutes straight of cardio. Trashy magazines on the elliptical did it! Now I watch netflix when I run on the treadmill. The distraction helps carry me through the hatred of exercise!

Another thing to bear in mind: Exercise is really important, but diet is at least 80% of successful weight loss. You hate exercise, so to lose major pounds make sure your diet is IN CHECK. With a great diet, maybe you can supplement with small amounts of exercise that you don't hate and see the success you want. Also with a great diet you'll start to shed pounds and when you're lighter it will make exercise easier and not as rough on joints.

Good luck!

sofaking6

Thank you for your post. Your words mean a lot to me. Good to know someone else sort of feels the same!

I'm really glad I thought of one other thing - music. If you have to go to the gym and grind out the cardio there, a great playlist goes a long long way. I've spent probably DAYS working on my playlist and I still dedicate time to finding and trying out new songs. That way I have at least one thing to actually look forward to and enjoy while I'm there. Spotify is my thing right now, but whatever app or gadget you have will do the trick I'm sure. Please feel free to friend/message me!

ETA - I would love to read or watch TV but I get wicked motion sickness

angela233Z

I don't feel the level of anxiety that you feel, but I definitely do not enjoy working out. And have never felt the "endorphin high".

what I sometimes do - is think "How would I encourage my kids"
well i would praise them for every step - each time they showed up to workout is an accomplishment. I notice you said you failed earlier - you did not fail - you lost 80 pounds - that took an incredible amount of work.

practical advice - I recently started doing Chris Powell beginner workout on youtube
It is 15 minutes, just the right level for me, not too hard but not too beginner that i am bored.
Let me know if you would like be on-line partners for that

good luck

CJReg119

Thank you for your post and taking the time to reply!

CJReg119

Therapy - yes but I don't know what "thought records" are. Please inform me. Thank you! (also, I don't do any medication. the whole SSRI thing is quite dangerous, in my opinion. I know too many people who have issues with trying to stop taking them. The "brain damage" from it scares me. I get many people are on them and find them helpful. It;'s not a path I choose for myself. This area (exercise/fitness) is particularly difficult for me since I had such a success and then such a bad 'fail" so that's part of it. Also, it's SO physically uncomfortable. And I hate that I can't seem to get that "high" that everyone else seems to get. thank you all!

tr3kkie9rl

A couple thoughts come to mind - first off, my husband has an undiagnosed anxiety disorder of some kind, and I myself deal with it occasionally as well. I second the recommendation of talking to a therapist. Secondly, the swimming suggestion is a really good one for anyone with joint issues. Lastly, I totally understand the distaste for "exercise" as a chore. I get bored easily! Consider finding ways to "play" instead of "exercise." If you have dogs, go outside with them for longer periods of time. If you have kids, ditto. Maybe hiking suits you, or biking on trails instead of stationary, looking at a wall. The possibilities are endless with this mindset