"I hate myself," "I'm disgusting," "Can't Stop Eating."
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sakuragreenlily
Posts: 334 Member
I see topics like this every day on the forums and my heart hurts for these folks because I can remember feeling lost, out of control, and hopeless. I honestly can't pinpoint when I stopped feeling this way but now that I have it seems so far removed.
Had someone told me two years ago that I could get to a point where I didn't think about food at least every 15 minutes, where I could eat only enough to feel satisfied and then walk away, and where I could honestly say, "No thank you, I don't want [insert delicious food here]" and actually MEAN it I would have been skeptical. Heck, I would have thought, "You don't know me... that might work for you but it'll never work for me!"
At nearly 80 lbs lost total (lost 10 before I started MFP), and about 20 - 30 to go, I thought I'd take a second to try to hammer out some techniques I've used that have worked for me. Obviously people have to figure out what works for them on their own but maybe this will help someone else...
FOOD "RULES"
I refused to fall victim to "diets." When someone approaches me about a way to lose weight quickly I politely say, "no thank you." There's a reason why you hear people say, "I lost 40 lbs using [atkins, herbalife, advocare, etc., etc., etc.] three years ago but now I've put 60 lbs back on and I HAVE to get back on the wagon!" These diets are cyclical in nature. If you can stick to it for a little while you will lose weight but you won't develop a good relationship with food. You'll probably feel deprived and you will most likely go back to bad habits once you hit a wall with your diet. If your goal is to lose weight quickly, put it back on, lose it again, put it back on, lose it again, and so-on-and-so-forth, then, by all means, do some extreme dieting. If you want to lose weight and keep it off you're better off accepting that the process is slower and requires no special supplements.
I don't cut out any particular foods or food groups if I really love them. I will admit that I don't usually eat white potatoes and I don't often eat fried foods; but this is because I don't really care for either and it's not worth it to me for the extra calories. I do love chocolate, brownies, ice cream, and cheesecake though. I eat things I really like in moderation. I don't eat it directly from the container and I don't keep large quantities in my house if it's something I find too tempting, but I will go out and buy it if I want it. After several years of this I can actually keep most things in my home without binge eating. This is an accomplishment for me because a few years ago if I had certain things in my house I would eat until I was physically ill and then I'd go back for more.
I've taken the time to educate myself about what is truly healthy and good for my body. I don't allow myself to be tricked by things marketed as "multi-grain," "low carb," "gluten-free," etc. Just because something looks healthy doesn't mean that it is good for you. As a general rule, the fewer the ingredients in a food, the more nutritionally dense it will be. Obviously this is not the case if you're eating a stick of butter dipped in sugar or something crazy like that, but in general it is true. Take the time to learn how to read labels and learn what's really in the food you're buying. If all else fails, ask for some nutritional advice here on MFP or go talk to a nutritionist. Most state health departments offer free or reduced priced consultation with a nutritionist. (CAVEAT: If your nutritionist tries to tell you to cut out entire food groups such as fruit, bread, etc. maybe consider taking that with a grain of salt... but let them teach you how to read labels because they'll be decent at that).
I eat when I'm truly hungry. If MFP calculates a goal for you of 1,300 a day, and you stick to it, and you're losing 3 lbs a week, but you're tired and hungry then EAT MORE! MFP provides an estimate. I learned really quickly that I have to play around with my calorie goals to find what works for me. Early on I could lose steadily at 1,800 a day. I dropped it down to 1,600 when I stalled in my weight loss efforts. I upped it back to 1,750 when I started lifting more weights and could afford to do so. I dropped it down to 1,400 at the suggestion of a trainer. I started feeling angry and hungry so I bumped it back to 1,700. Some weeks the scale will go up a little and other weeks it will drop back down. As long as the general trend is down I don't get too worried about the day to day anymore. Every once in a while I also go over my calorie goals if I'm really hungry. I don't kick myself; I just figure that's life.
I don't give into pressure from others to eat things I don't want and I don't give into pressure from myself to completely abstain from foods that I do want. It's crazy how it eventually becomes more difficult dealing with others trying to get you to eat things you don't want than dealing with yourself!
EXERCISE "RULES"
Get up and move. Move at least a little bit everyday even when you don't feel like doing anything... even if you just go for a walk. That's the only "rule" really.
You can lose weight without exercising... It's true that what/how much you eat is probably 80% of weight loss but I feel better when I am active. Plus, your body works more efficiently when you give it nutrient dense foods so doing an exercise program of some sort actually encourages me to eat better. (I don't feel very good if I go play tennis after eating only Taco Bell all week so I naturally end up eating what makes me feel good and perform better).
I've had friends tell me that their intimidated by me now because I workout 6 days a week, run races, play tennis, enjoy obstacle courses, lift weights, etc. but they forget that when I started I could barely jog 4.0 miles per hour for a full minute! I was jogging at a pace slower than some people WALK! And now I'm training for a half marathon in October!
Maybe you don't have a goal to run a half marathon. Heck, maybe you don't want to ever run, but you should set physical goals of some kind for yourself and work toward them. You will surprise yourself by what your body can do. Same as with food though, challenge yourself with REASONABLE goals, play around with your goals, and stay consistent overall.
LIFE "RULES"
Be flexible and live your life. You'll have good days and bad days, as with anything, but just stick with it and try your best to be consistent overall. Eat a small amount of cake on your birthday. Have a glass of wine at a friend's wedding. In my opinion, if I can't eat chocolate every now and then, then I don't want to live in this world anymore!
Enjoy learning more about yourself, challenging former conventions of who you are, and the overall journey of changing your lifestyle.
Hope this is helpful to someone
TL; DR
With food, exercise, and life don't go to extremes. Just stay consistent. It's like the old Tortoise and the Hare parable... slow and steady wins the race. Eat good food stuffs in moderation. Move! Enjoy your life.
Had someone told me two years ago that I could get to a point where I didn't think about food at least every 15 minutes, where I could eat only enough to feel satisfied and then walk away, and where I could honestly say, "No thank you, I don't want [insert delicious food here]" and actually MEAN it I would have been skeptical. Heck, I would have thought, "You don't know me... that might work for you but it'll never work for me!"
At nearly 80 lbs lost total (lost 10 before I started MFP), and about 20 - 30 to go, I thought I'd take a second to try to hammer out some techniques I've used that have worked for me. Obviously people have to figure out what works for them on their own but maybe this will help someone else...
FOOD "RULES"
I refused to fall victim to "diets." When someone approaches me about a way to lose weight quickly I politely say, "no thank you." There's a reason why you hear people say, "I lost 40 lbs using [atkins, herbalife, advocare, etc., etc., etc.] three years ago but now I've put 60 lbs back on and I HAVE to get back on the wagon!" These diets are cyclical in nature. If you can stick to it for a little while you will lose weight but you won't develop a good relationship with food. You'll probably feel deprived and you will most likely go back to bad habits once you hit a wall with your diet. If your goal is to lose weight quickly, put it back on, lose it again, put it back on, lose it again, and so-on-and-so-forth, then, by all means, do some extreme dieting. If you want to lose weight and keep it off you're better off accepting that the process is slower and requires no special supplements.
I don't cut out any particular foods or food groups if I really love them. I will admit that I don't usually eat white potatoes and I don't often eat fried foods; but this is because I don't really care for either and it's not worth it to me for the extra calories. I do love chocolate, brownies, ice cream, and cheesecake though. I eat things I really like in moderation. I don't eat it directly from the container and I don't keep large quantities in my house if it's something I find too tempting, but I will go out and buy it if I want it. After several years of this I can actually keep most things in my home without binge eating. This is an accomplishment for me because a few years ago if I had certain things in my house I would eat until I was physically ill and then I'd go back for more.
I've taken the time to educate myself about what is truly healthy and good for my body. I don't allow myself to be tricked by things marketed as "multi-grain," "low carb," "gluten-free," etc. Just because something looks healthy doesn't mean that it is good for you. As a general rule, the fewer the ingredients in a food, the more nutritionally dense it will be. Obviously this is not the case if you're eating a stick of butter dipped in sugar or something crazy like that, but in general it is true. Take the time to learn how to read labels and learn what's really in the food you're buying. If all else fails, ask for some nutritional advice here on MFP or go talk to a nutritionist. Most state health departments offer free or reduced priced consultation with a nutritionist. (CAVEAT: If your nutritionist tries to tell you to cut out entire food groups such as fruit, bread, etc. maybe consider taking that with a grain of salt... but let them teach you how to read labels because they'll be decent at that).
I eat when I'm truly hungry. If MFP calculates a goal for you of 1,300 a day, and you stick to it, and you're losing 3 lbs a week, but you're tired and hungry then EAT MORE! MFP provides an estimate. I learned really quickly that I have to play around with my calorie goals to find what works for me. Early on I could lose steadily at 1,800 a day. I dropped it down to 1,600 when I stalled in my weight loss efforts. I upped it back to 1,750 when I started lifting more weights and could afford to do so. I dropped it down to 1,400 at the suggestion of a trainer. I started feeling angry and hungry so I bumped it back to 1,700. Some weeks the scale will go up a little and other weeks it will drop back down. As long as the general trend is down I don't get too worried about the day to day anymore. Every once in a while I also go over my calorie goals if I'm really hungry. I don't kick myself; I just figure that's life.
I don't give into pressure from others to eat things I don't want and I don't give into pressure from myself to completely abstain from foods that I do want. It's crazy how it eventually becomes more difficult dealing with others trying to get you to eat things you don't want than dealing with yourself!
EXERCISE "RULES"
Get up and move. Move at least a little bit everyday even when you don't feel like doing anything... even if you just go for a walk. That's the only "rule" really.
You can lose weight without exercising... It's true that what/how much you eat is probably 80% of weight loss but I feel better when I am active. Plus, your body works more efficiently when you give it nutrient dense foods so doing an exercise program of some sort actually encourages me to eat better. (I don't feel very good if I go play tennis after eating only Taco Bell all week so I naturally end up eating what makes me feel good and perform better).
I've had friends tell me that their intimidated by me now because I workout 6 days a week, run races, play tennis, enjoy obstacle courses, lift weights, etc. but they forget that when I started I could barely jog 4.0 miles per hour for a full minute! I was jogging at a pace slower than some people WALK! And now I'm training for a half marathon in October!
Maybe you don't have a goal to run a half marathon. Heck, maybe you don't want to ever run, but you should set physical goals of some kind for yourself and work toward them. You will surprise yourself by what your body can do. Same as with food though, challenge yourself with REASONABLE goals, play around with your goals, and stay consistent overall.
LIFE "RULES"
Be flexible and live your life. You'll have good days and bad days, as with anything, but just stick with it and try your best to be consistent overall. Eat a small amount of cake on your birthday. Have a glass of wine at a friend's wedding. In my opinion, if I can't eat chocolate every now and then, then I don't want to live in this world anymore!
Enjoy learning more about yourself, challenging former conventions of who you are, and the overall journey of changing your lifestyle.
Hope this is helpful to someone
TL; DR
With food, exercise, and life don't go to extremes. Just stay consistent. It's like the old Tortoise and the Hare parable... slow and steady wins the race. Eat good food stuffs in moderation. Move! Enjoy your life.
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Replies
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In for simple logic! :flowerforyou:0
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This was great to read and thank you for your words:)0
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Thanks for the post! I've been struggling lately, but this really puts it into prospective. It really is pretty simple. I think we tend to over complicate it - plus, a lot of us want results FAST, so we tend to over do things and think we have to eat practically nothing in order to lose weight. But, it's really just about having patience and realizing it won't come off all at once. It takes time, but it's worth it in the end.0
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Well said.0
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With food, exercise, and life don't go to extremes. Just stay consistent. It's like the old Tortoise and the Hare parable... slow and steady wins the race. Eat good food stuffs in moderation. Move! Enjoy your life.
Exactly!
Great post.0 -
Thanks for posting this, it's very motivational and has tons of helpful tips as well. I appreciate it thank you.0
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Nicely said. It's great to see when someone "gets it". You are spot on!0
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Great post! Very supportive, thank you.0
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:drinker: :drinker: :drinker: :drinker: :drinker:0
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Very Very Well Said. I agree with your entire post.0
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Love this
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What a wonderful post, and I bet you it'll go down in MFP history as an oft-quoted one.
I'd love to add that if people are telling themselves stuff such as in the title of this topic ("I hate myself", "I can't stop eating"), they also might want to consider some counseling or at least check out a free support group for Compulsive Overeating such as Overeaters Anonymous. Working the OA program literally turned my life around, from hating myself and not being able to stop eating, to being free and healthy in mind, spirit, and body. I am a huge proponent of such groups now and wanted to offer that suggestion to anyone who might want to take it.
Here's the OA website link which includes info on how to find a meeting near you. Thanks.
http://www.oa.org/membersgroups/find-a-meeting/0 -
Thank you!
~ The Tortoise0 -
Bravo. Well said. :flowerforyou:0
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What a wonderful post, and I bet you it'll go down in MFP history as an oft-quoted one.
I'd love to add that if people are telling themselves stuff such as in the title of this topic ("I hate myself", "I can't stop eating"), they also might want to consider some counseling or at least check out a free support group for Compulsive Overeating such as Overeaters Anonymous. Working the OA program literally turned my life around, from hating myself and not being able to stop eating, to being free and healthy in mind, spirit, and body. I am a huge proponent of such groups now and wanted to offer that suggestion to anyone who might want to take it.
Here's the OA website link which includes info on how to find a meeting near you. Thanks.
http://www.oa.org/membersgroups/find-a-meeting/
That is such a great point! Sometimes we feel like we should be able to do it all by ourselves or that there's something wrong with us if we can't. The truth is sometimes you need a little more support. I think that's why a lot of us use MFP but for others it might take a more structured direct program to help repair your relationship with yourself and your relationship with food.0 -
Also, thank you all for taking the time to read my really long post! I usually stalk the boards and when I see the heart breaking questions/posts I just want to cry because I know what it's like to feel so hopeless. You guys are awesome though. I hope we can all help support folks who are in the position that so many of us have been in at one point or another.0
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So very true, thanks for the reminder to all of us to be patient with ourselves.0
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Well said!0
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Amen!0
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Love this post.0
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