Scared of going to the gym

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  • sljohnson1207
    sljohnson1207 Posts: 818 Member
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    It may help you to visualize that the other "slim, fit, trim" folks in the gym were likely not that way at one time. If you start asking around in a gym and getting to know people you will realize that even many of the trainers were once very overweight and out of shape. Some (likely a lot) are recovering from very bad injuries as well. This knowledge helps to put things in perspective. The gym is a new chapter in the story of your life. Make it a good one!
  • bostonwolf
    bostonwolf Posts: 3,038 Member
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    Trust me.
    Most everyone at the gym is focused on themselves.
    You should do the same.

    The idea that the gym will be like school as far as bullying & disapproving looks etc. is irrational :flowerforyou:

    Get your playlist ready with some crankin' music & do your thing like no one's watching :wink:

    This. Get your music straight, put on the headphones and do your thing.

    If you really don't even know where to begin talk to them at the front desk and tell them your a novice and want some ideas on where to start. Someone will help you out and they might even schedule a free training session for you. A lot of gyms include that in a new membership.

    This is your first step in telling the bullies to go screw themselves. Don't let those idiots limit what you do in life.
  • QueenGallifreya
    QueenGallifreya Posts: 6 Member
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    i'm going to tell you something .. I was exactly the same .. terrified of everyone watching me because of my size .. but i went yesterday ( for the very first time ) and tbh nobody paid any attention to me exercising and if in fact the others in the gym all smiled and said hello when i came in to the gym area .. my pt has told me to focus on treadmill and bike for now until i feel more comfortable and because of my disabilities i need to be careful and not overdo it.

    don't be scared .. it's just holding you back from your goals .. forget everyone else and focus on you .. after all you are what is most important.

    :)
  • BradfordBear801
    BradfordBear801 Posts: 78
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    Most everyone there will be doing there own thing, I promise you. Bring your music, focus on what you need to get done, and git r' done, 99.9% of us there are just trying to better ourselves :)
  • EmiLouize
    EmiLouize Posts: 29
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    Thanks for all the advice. I just wish it could be as easy as 'just go and do it' for me. I'm certainly not lazy or making excuses; I do cardio and bodyweight strength training at home regularly.

    When you've had remarks made about your body from such a young age, you honestly believe they're true. One of the most disgusting ones I still remember to this day was: "if I was as fat as her, I'd never go outside". So I start to believe maybe I am too fat to go outside. I may have lost a lot of weight (20lbs may not seem that much but it makes a huge difference on my small frame) but I still feel like that fat girl who doesn't deserve to do anything she enjoys. That fat girl who should just lock herself away so people don't have to see her.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    I wrote this on my FB wall the other day- I was headed into the city to take my first dance class at an adult studio outside of my safe studio space.

    I was unquestionably nervous- I don't like driving in the city, having to find parking- and then step into a completely new class not knowing any one or anything.
    Anyway this is what I was thinking...

    The unknown is uncomfortable.
    But being scared is a good reason to go do it anyway. Don't let fear scare you away from learning more and expanding your horizons.

    The only way to get NOT scared... is to go do the thing. no one is there to pay attention or judge you.
    And even if they do- lets' take worst case scenario- even if they ARE judging you?

    how does that impact you? What does that mean for you? Not much- you can keep going and it's not really going to stop you from doing what you came to do.

    And once you realize- it doesn't matter- you're fine- you can move forward and do the things you want to do!!!

    Go forth.
    Lift
    cardio
    Be fit
    Be fabulous.
  • emdeesea
    emdeesea Posts: 1,823 Member
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    When you've had remarks made about your body from such a young age, you honestly believe they're true. One of the most disgusting ones I still remember to this day was: "if I was as fat as her, I'd never go outside".

    You know, I've had worse remarks made about me and to me as well, even as an adult. But the thing is, one of the great things about getting older is that you just stop caring and think "*kitten* you."

    Why should someone else have any say so over your life or what you do? Do they pay your bills? No. So to hell with them. And stop giving them power and letting them hold you hostage inside your own head.
  • rectify_me
    rectify_me Posts: 149
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    Let go of those who have hurt you, and make room for those who actually deserve you and want to treat you well. :)
  • jkal1979
    jkal1979 Posts: 1,896 Member
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    You can always go and take a tour of the gym before signing up to see if it's a fit for you. If you are able to, go look at several gyms before choosing one. It might help for you to see that there are people of all shapes, sizes, and ages there and could ease your fears about it.
  • EmiLouize
    EmiLouize Posts: 29
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    Thanks everyone.
  • Veronnie87
    Veronnie87 Posts: 40 Member
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    Awesome advice in this thread so far. My humble addition is to suggest that you do some research about a few different gyms and see what kind of comments are out there. Once you've narrowed it down to two or three then take the time to tour them and see which one feels right for you. I have had experiences with both women-only and unisex gyms and there's something to be said for both types. Some have a more intense atmosphere, and others have a more fun, laidback vibe. Pick whatever appeals to you.

    Some gyms also enforce dress codes which I find makes me feel more comfortable, and might make you feel more at ease as well. In an environment where everyone's wearing t-****s and regular shorts I feel more at home and less pressured to suck my stomach in while jogging, lol. If you have ever seen the movie Dodgeball, I am the person who would rather work out at Average Joe's gym. :)

    And straight-up, there might be the odd person who will say something rude. *kitten* them. There will be a hundred people who will smile at you, know exactly how you're feeling when you're struggling with something and will offer to help. Don't give that one rude person the right to determine how you feel and whether you will go back to that gym and ENJOY your time there.

    It also sounds like you very much need to work through your body image issues because you are beautiful and the fact that you are still allowing other negative voices to dictate how you think about yourself is worrisome. I know where you're coming from, I've been there too. This is your body and it is healthy and perfect. Don't ever allow the past to take that away from you. The people who spewed negativity at you when you were younger pulled those words out of their own deep wells of self-hatred. Forgive them and start focusing your body image on the positive and not the negative. Love yourself and go enjoy that gym membership!
  • DawnieB1977
    DawnieB1977 Posts: 4,248 Member
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    Thanks for all the advice. I just wish it could be as easy as 'just go and do it' for me. I'm certainly not lazy or making excuses; I do cardio and bodyweight strength training at home regularly.

    When you've had remarks made about your body from such a young age, you honestly believe they're true. One of the most disgusting ones I still remember to this day was: "if I was as fat as her, I'd never go outside". So I start to believe maybe I am too fat to go outside. I may have lost a lot of weight (20lbs may not seem that much but it makes a huge difference on my small frame) but I still feel like that fat girl who doesn't deserve to do anything she enjoys. That fat girl who should just lock herself away so people don't have to see her.

    When I was about 16 I had a boy say to me 'you're the ugliest person I've seen'. I'm definitely not ugly now, but it is hard to remember stuff like that.

    You know what, I'm a secondary school teacher now. Kids are horrible to each other. I honestly don't think they realise how much their remarks can affect people.

    You're not fat now, and even if you were, no-one at the gym will care. There are all sorts of people at my gym. They run a stroke rehabilitation programme, so there are people who can't even walk properly. I figure if they can go to the gym, then so can anyone else! There's one guy, must be younger than I am, and he hits the weights area and he limps and shakes.
  • EmiLouize
    EmiLouize Posts: 29
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    Awesome advice in this thread so far. My humble addition is to suggest that you do some research about a few different gyms and see what kind of comments are out there. Once you've narrowed it down to two or three then take the time to tour them and see which one feels right for you. I have had experiences with both women-only and unisex gyms and there's something to be said for both types. Some have a more intense atmosphere, and others have a more fun, laidback vibe. Pick whatever appeals to you.

    Some gyms also enforce dress codes which I find makes me feel more comfortable, and might make you feel more at ease as well. In an environment where everyone's wearing t-****s and regular shorts I feel more at home and less pressured to suck my stomach in while jogging, lol. If you have ever seen the movie Dodgeball, I am the person who would rather work out at Average Joe's gym. :)

    And straight-up, there might be the odd person who will say something rude. *kitten* them. There will be a hundred people who will smile at you, know exactly how you're feeling when you're struggling with something and will offer to help. Don't give that one rude person the right to determine how you feel and whether you will go back to that gym and ENJOY your time there.

    It also sounds like you very much need to work through your body image issues because you are beautiful and the fact that you are still allowing other negative voices to dictate how you think about yourself is worrisome. I know where you're coming from, I've been there too. This is your body and it is healthy and perfect. Don't ever allow the past to take that away from you. The people who spewed negativity at you when you were younger pulled those words out of their own deep wells of self-hatred. Forgive them and start focusing your body image on the positive and not the negative. Love yourself and go enjoy that gym membership!

    I'd definitely feel better in an Average Joe gym too :P I also understand what you mean about dress codes, if everyone's dressed modestly I'd certainly feel better about myself. Thanks so much for your advice, every little compliment means the world to me so I really appreciate it! I've decided I'm gonna go and take a look at a local gym this weekend. :D
  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,950 Member
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    Trust me.
    Most everyone at the gym is focused on themselves.
    You should do the same.

    The idea that the gym will be like school as far as bullying & disapproving looks etc. is irrational :flowerforyou:

    Get your playlist ready with some crankin' music & do your thing like no one's watching :wink:

    Yup, we're all at the gym doing the same thing, trying to improve ourselves. No one will go out of their way to give you problems, unless you find an all chav gym. Seriously, go in, do your work. Someone gives you problems, go to the gym management and get it resolved. You're an adult now, you don't have time for any of that to get in your way.
  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,950 Member
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    I agree with hookilau. I am totally intimidated by the gym too...
    Not taking a piss at you here, but can you explain what about the gym is intimidating?

    The actual work it represents?
    The paraphrenalia there?
    The userbase?
  • muayqis
    muayqis Posts: 72
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    Another vote for 'nobody cares'.
    Everyone will be doing their own thing, listening to their own tunes and freaking about everyone watching them.
    Just go, and have fun :)

    Good luck
  • civilizedworm
    civilizedworm Posts: 796 Member
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    Is there any way I can bring the gym to me so I don't have to go and be judged by all the slim, lean, fit people? I don't earn much money at the moment so I can't buy any expensive equipment.
    I don't want to single you out - but could we just stop with this type of mind reading!

    Seriously, if you want to workout at a gym, don't begin on the premise of judging other people!
  • Mikkimeow
    Mikkimeow Posts: 1,282 Member
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    Honestly, if anything when I first started, someone your size would have intimidated me. I started going to the gym in the wee hours of the morning to avoid people. I eventually learned more about lifting and gained confidence. I started going in the evenings, and guess what? No one gave one tiny *kitten* about what I was doing. It was liberating. The most attention I got was one guy that came over to ask if I was a powerlifter. We always believe people are thinking the worst of us, when sometimes they are thinking the best, or just not caring at all. Do your thing and remember that they are all there for the same reason: to be healthy and work on themselves. I agree that getting a gym partner is also a great idea! I found a lifting partner and it really keeps me motivated!
  • civilizedworm
    civilizedworm Posts: 796 Member
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    After reading so many threads and posts on MFP how us "in shape" people are allegedly judging all the "not in shape" people makes me not want to go the gym anymore so I am not judged as a shallow, hater.
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
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    re-reading some of this... OP, why do you NEED a gym? you're doing cardio and body weight exercises at home, so why do you need to spend extra money?

    want variations for cardio? chose a different running path. want a different cardio machine? buy a bike. or a jump rope. or play tennis.

    want some variation in your body weight exercises? next time you go for a run, stop at a local park. do some box jumps on to a bench, do some one legged squats, hanging leg raises, whatever. you don't have to spend money on a gym.

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