I want to lift, but I'm terrified of the weight room.
jazzy_45
Posts: 101 Member
Hi everyone! So I really want to start weightlifting! I've seen the success stories on here and on bodybuilding.com, and I think it will great things for my body! But there's one problem, I'm so nervous to be in the weight room! It really really intimidates me.
I am a freshmen in college, so I am on my own for the first time in my life. I go to a big public university, so there's of course lots of guys everywhere. I checked out our rec center, and it was amazing. They have everything! But I just felt so intimated in the weight room. There were soooooo many guys there, and like two or three girls. It was packed with guys. It makes me so mad that this is preventing me from weightlifting, but it really is!
I really want a lifting buddy, but I only have made a few friends here and I don't want to pressure them to workout with me.
What can I do to get over my fear? Should I go at a time where there's less people?
I want to get over my fear, but I don't know how!
I am a freshmen in college, so I am on my own for the first time in my life. I go to a big public university, so there's of course lots of guys everywhere. I checked out our rec center, and it was amazing. They have everything! But I just felt so intimated in the weight room. There were soooooo many guys there, and like two or three girls. It was packed with guys. It makes me so mad that this is preventing me from weightlifting, but it really is!
I really want a lifting buddy, but I only have made a few friends here and I don't want to pressure them to workout with me.
What can I do to get over my fear? Should I go at a time where there's less people?
I want to get over my fear, but I don't know how! 0
Replies
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The only way to overcome that fear is to just go in and do it. There is no other way. It's no different than any other aspect in life. Conquer fear by doing and doing it well.
Give it 2 months, you'll be hooked and the fear will be gone. Just remember, EVERY single one of those guys felt that same fear at some point.
And yes, pick a time that is less busy.0 -
When I work out at my local gym, 99% of the time I am the ONLY female in the weight section, or the only one lifting with an actual purpose (i.e. doing more than 3lbs per exercise). When I started lifting on my campus gym first, I wasn't the only female but a lot of the time there were more men than women... and more men lifting heavy, most women lifting ridiculously light and only doing isolation exercises.
What helped me was to practice at home first, once I was comfortable with form/etc I went to the gym and just did my thing. You get over it after the first 1-2 times.0 -
The guys will appreciate you! I was in the same boat as you. If it's a matter of not wanting to look like a fool, see if your school offers a weightlifting class. I took one my freshman year and it really helped me to get comfortable moving around the weight room! (And it was a really easy A, haha)0
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I feel ya:) I picked a small gym but now my trainer is moving. so I'm now going to go to the college gym and do my best:) good luck!0
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The only way to overcome that fear is to just go in and do it. There is no other way. It's no different than any other aspect in life. Conquer fear by doing and doing it well.
Give it 2 months, you'll be hooked and the fear will be gone. Just remember, EVERY single one of those guys felt that same fear at some point.
And yes, pick a time that is less busy.
Okay thanks. That's very true. And what time would you say is the least busiest?0 -
The guys will appreciate you! I was in the same boat as you. If it's a matter of not wanting to look like a fool, see if your school offers a weightlifting class. I took one my freshman year and it really helped me to get comfortable moving around the weight room! (And it was a really easy A, haha)
Oh that's a great idea! I really should look into that. I already have my schedule but I can still add/drop classes.0 -
I had a similar experience, so you're not alone! I did my research, downloaded the SL 5x5 app, and went to the weight room one day. I felt confident during my drive to the gym. I had watched videos of proper form and had even practiced proper form. And then when I walked into the room, and there were a dozen guys grunting and sweating, I turned into a giant chicken. I about-faced, came home, and cried - both from feeling intimidated and LETTING myself feel that way.
I haven't yet attempted a return, but that's mostly because I stopped going to the gym for a while. Now that I've been more consistent in my workouts, I plan to return at some point. It'll likely be at an off-time when there aren't many folks in the weight room. As for a buddy, I don't have one either. My husband has no interest in going to the gym with me, so I can't use him. I've had success in befriending the various instructors of my cardio classes, and I'll eventually ask them for recommendations. I know some of them use the weight room as well, so I'm hoping they'll be helpful.
Good luck to you!
Sometimes "just do it" isn't immediately possible. 0 -
The only way to overcome that fear is to just go in and do it. There is no other way. It's no different than any other aspect in life. Conquer fear by doing and doing it well.
Give it 2 months, you'll be hooked and the fear will be gone. Just remember, EVERY single one of those guys felt that same fear at some point.
And yes, pick a time that is less busy.
Okay thanks. That's very true. And what time would you say is the least busiest?
In college, Thurs/Fri/Sat nights are least busy. I always went early afternoon though and it was less busy than the evening.
Sunday morning is usually empty for obvious reasons, and nothing is better for a hangover than a good lifting session
Good luck to you! Sometimes "just do it" isn't immediately possible.
No, in this case it's always possible. Just not easy. It requires overcoming mental fears and barriers. weightlifting is as much a mental exercise as a physical one. It doesnt stop when the initial intimidation fades. Every time you add weight to the bar, you have to overcome new fears. Success in the gym translates well to success in other parts of life, it requires the same determination. Can't have something worth having without challenging yourself.0 -
If this makes you feel any better, I totally failed on my last bench press rep this morning. It was a huge, long, drawn out ordeal/scene, and these guys rushed over to help even though I was doing a pretty good job at rolling it off of me. I looked like a complete dumb***, but I survived it and was able to laugh at myself immediately afterwards. My point is that you should just get in there! People are not judging you nearly as much as you think at the gym.0
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The only way to overcome that fear is to just go in and do it. There is no other way. It's no different than any other aspect in life. Conquer fear by doing and doing it well.
Give it 2 months, you'll be hooked and the fear will be gone. Just remember, EVERY single one of those guys felt that same fear at some point.
And yes, pick a time that is less busy.
Okay thanks. That's very true. And what time would you say is the least busiest?
In college, Thurs/Fri/Sat nights are least busy. I always went early afternoon though and it was less busy than the evening.
Sunday morning is usually empty for obvious reasons, and nothing is better for a hangover than a good lifting session
Good luck to you! Sometimes "just do it" isn't immediately possible.
No, in this case it's always possible. Just not easy.
Okay thanks! I'm not too big on parties and I have early classes on Friday, so I'll be sure to try to workout during those times.
And yeah it is possible. I just need to do it already. 0 -
I've had this happen a few times too, minus all the guys rushing over lol. Yes it can be embarrassing, but then again thajt's what happens when you lift without a spotter and try lifting too heavy on an injured elbowIf this makes you feel any better, I totally failed on my last bench press rep this morning. It was a huge, long, drawn out ordeal/scene, and these guys rushed over to help even though I was doing a pretty good job at rolling it off of me. I looked like a complete dumb***, but I survived it and was able to laugh at myself immediately afterwards. My point is that you should just get in there! People are not judging you nearly as much as you think at the gym.
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Also to OP, business of the gym will depend on your campus. E.g. at my campus gym, afternoon is VERY busy. Early morning can also be very busy, even at 7am. Basically, 10-6 is the busiest at my campus, but at your campus maybe there are a lot of people who go between 6-8am and 2-8pm. Talk to the people who work in your campus gym about when the busiest times tend to be. And understand that the first month or so will be busiest, and then those who aren't actually committed to working out will stop coming. Especially around exam times.0
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I know the feeling of the weight room being intimidating. I used to have the same feelings about it. A way I got over it was I had a couple of guys I worked out with. They showed me and taught me a lot about the weight room and what works what muscles. You could always ask your friends if they are interested in working out with you. It never hurts to ask at least once. The worst they'll say is no. Another thing I did was when I had to work out alone I would go when I knew there wasn't going to be a lot of people there to see me. It took a long time for me to get my confidence level up. Now that I go regularly for lifting, I have noticed that the guys in the weight room aren't really that bad. They will look at you for a few minutes more than likely but eventually they just go about their business. It's not as bad as what you are thinking. I wish you luck!
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The only way to overcome that fear is to just go in and do it. There is no other way. It's no different than any other aspect in life. Conquer fear by doing and doing it well.
Give it 2 months, you'll be hooked and the fear will be gone. Just remember, EVERY single one of those guys felt that same fear at some point.
And yes, pick a time that is less busy.
Okay thanks. That's very true. And what time would you say is the least busiest?
In college, Thurs/Fri/Sat nights are least busy. I always went early afternoon though and it was less busy than the evening.
Sunday morning is usually empty for obvious reasons, and nothing is better for a hangover than a good lifting session
Good luck to you! Sometimes "just do it" isn't immediately possible.
No, in this case it's always possible. Just not easy. It requires overcoming mental fears and barriers. weightlifting is as much a mental exercise as a physical one. It doesnt stop when the initial intimidation fades. Every time you add weight to the bar, you have to overcome new fears. Success in the gym translates well to success in other parts of life, it requires the same determination. Can't have something worth having without challenging yourself.
I never said that it "wasn't" possible; I said that sometimes it isn't "immediately" possible. There is a difference. Some folks, myself included, need longer to overcome the mental fears and barriers, and that's quite fine. Everyone advances at his/her own pace, and I'm not going to let my trepidation of the weight room determine whether or not I can be successful at other ventures. I know I can be successful at other things, because I've achieved those goals. This goal will take me longer - hence my assertion that it won't be "immediate" - but never did I claim that it would be impossible.0 -
Good luck to you! Sometimes "just do it" isn't immediately possible.
There was nothing in your situation or OP's that makes thi "isn't immediately possible"
absolutely nothing.
The only thing standing in YOUR way is you.
You did the right thing educating yourself. That's step one.
Education/knowledge banish's fear. The reason why people are afraid of the dark is because it's an unknown. The unknown is what causes fear.
but if you know what you are doing.
and you know where to go- and how to do the thing- there is nothing to fear.
Let's look worst case scenario.
Usually they stare at you.
what happens? nothing. you just keep doing what you need to do.
Make snide comment?
what happens? nothing- you keep doing what you need to do.
throw at weight at you?
then you can throw a weight back at them and declare dominance over all your surroundings- then no one will mess with the crazy perosn.
Scared you'll drop a weight? do it all the time- sometimes on my foot.
I have walked into over head barbells- fumbled with plates... bumped into people- and had people bump into me.
These things happen.
it's normal- it's fine- people are not really looking at you NEARLY as much as you think.
Seriously.
As far as less busy times- mid day isn't bad- late late at night- friday night- early saturday morning- early early sat morning- or later Saturday night- sunday almost all day.
9am Monday- Friday and then like 1-3 isn't to bad- although you're going to have atheletic teams in there starting early afternoon. best bet to really get your feet weight is later weekends.
You can do it- seriously. Just go in there and do what you need to do- have a plan- do the thing.
then leave.
Doing things gets things done.0 -
I was a bit scared too, then I realized no one gave a damn about me :laugh:
Seriously, you're not an alien. Stupid guys are too busy admiring their biceps in the mirror, smart guys talk to me like I'm a normal person, which in fact I am.
What do you think when you see a guy buying makeup? (ok, it's not the same thing but it's the best metaphor I can think of right now)
...Exactly. "oh, look. a guy. who cares."
At least that's my experience.
:flowerforyou:0 -
Good luck to you! Sometimes "just do it" isn't immediately possible.
There was nothing in your situation or OP's that makes thi "isn't immediately possible"
absolutely nothing.
The only thing standing in YOUR way is you.
You did the right thing educating yourself. That's step one.
Education/knowledge banish's fear. The reason why people are afraid of the dark is because it's an unknown. The unknown is what causes fear.
but if you know what you are doing.
and you know where to go- and how to do the thing- there is nothing to fear.
Let's look worst case scenario.
Usually they stare at you.
what happens? nothing. you just keep doing what you need to do.
Make snide comment?
what happens? nothing- you keep doing what you need to do.
throw at weight at you?
then you can throw a weight back at them and declare dominance over all your surroundings- then no one will mess with the crazy perosn.
Scared you'll drop a weight? do it all the time- sometimes on my foot.
I have walked into over head barbells- fumbled with plates... bumped into people- and had people bump into me.
These things happen.
it's normal- it's fine- people are not really looking at you NEARLY as much as you think.
Seriously.
As far as less busy times- mid day isn't bad- late late at night- friday night- early saturday morning- early early sat morning- or later Saturday night- sunday almost all day.
9am Monday- Friday and then like 1-3 isn't to bad- although you're going to have atheletic teams in there starting early afternoon. best bet to really get your feet weight is later weekends.
You can do it- seriously. Just go in there and do what you need to do- have a plan- do the thing.
then leave.
Doing things gets things done.
Definitely all the above ^, but the bolded is the most important out of all that.0 -
OP it can look intimidating but trust me those guys arent. I'm usually the only woman in any of the weight rooms I go in and i've hardly had any issues with guys being jerks. the 2 times it did happen the jerky guys were newbies to the gym and before i could do or say anything, the other regulars stepped up to shut the jerk down.
while they rest.
i've found that people are also pretty happy to answer questions about their workout like if you see them doing something you want to try just ask what it is. people are also pretty happy to help out as a spotter, once again just ask between their sets0 -
I agree with the others-- you just have to get in there and do it. I have social anxiety so the gym is crazy intimidating to me, and now I lift at home. But I lifted at the gym for almost a year, and it does get better. The first few times are scary but once you know what you're doing it gets easier and easier.
eta: also the guys at my gym are really nice. I've asked for spots a few times and everyone has been extremely helpful.0 -
Just go. Put on your music and give it a shot. Within weeks you will no longer have terror, the weight room will be your playground.0
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Yea, guys just hate having women in the weight room. lol
Read some books on lifting like Starting Strength or Stronglifts, watch some videos on form from bodybuilding.com, and just go. I'm pretty sure within a few weeks you'll be posting here about how annoyed you are with all the attention and offers of help from those "intimidating" guys.0 -
Lots of good advice in here already op. Take it, go into the weight room and don't come out until it is afraid of you.0
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I was terrified too, but I waltzed in, made eye contact and smiled and reassuringly got several smiles and hello's back....I am old enough to nearly everyone's mother in there, but I have to say those guys have made me feel really welcome. They will spare moments to answer questions and help me out if I look completely at sea.
There is the odd one who you just know to avoid, but that's the same in all aspects of life, not just the weight room!! I haven't ever been in that room with another female (except one of the instructors), so I am assuming I'm still a bit of a rare species at this particular gym, but hopefully one day I will be able to help others in the same way.
Good luck, I would say just bite the bullet and go for it, easier to say than do I know.....0 -
You are overthinking this. You have just as much a right to be in the weight room as the athletes. Go lift, learn as you go.0
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Thank you for the responses everyone. I feel like it's just awkward because I'm with college guys, but that's really just an excuse.
I just need to make it happen. I want a nice *kitten*, goddammit!0 -
Thank you for the responses everyone. I feel like it's just awkward because I'm with college guys, but that's really just an excuse.
I just need to make it happen. I want a nice *kitten*, goddammit!
Nice *kitten*, you say?
Look up Brett Contreras0 -
Thank you for the responses everyone. I feel like it's just awkward because I'm with college guys, but that's really just an excuse.
I just need to make it happen. I want a nice *kitten*, goddammit!
Nice *kitten*, you say?
Look up Brett Contreras
Yes lol!!! That's honestly the main reason I want to lift. Yeah I want a nice fit body, but I really want a great *kitten*! Is that too much to ask for?
And yeah I've heard about him! Idk what program I should do, so maybe one of his for starters? 0 -
Thank you for the responses everyone. I feel like it's just awkward because I'm with college guys, but that's really just an excuse.
I just need to make it happen. I want a nice *kitten*, goddammit!
Nice *kitten*, you say?
Look up Brett Contreras
Yes lol!!! That's honestly the main reason I want to lift. Yeah I want a nice fit body, but I really want a great *kitten*! Is that too much to ask for?
And yeah I've heard about him! Idk what program I should do, so maybe one of his for starters?
If I were you, I would start a full body program like Starting Strength or Stronglifts 5x5 and mix in some of Brett Contreras' work like barbell hip thrusts.0 -
Thank you for the responses everyone. I feel like it's just awkward because I'm with college guys, but that's really just an excuse.
I just need to make it happen. I want a nice *kitten*, goddammit!
Nice *kitten*, you say?
Look up Brett Contreras
Yes lol!!! That's honestly the main reason I want to lift. Yeah I want a nice fit body, but I really want a great *kitten*! Is that too much to ask for?
And yeah I've heard about him! Idk what program I should do, so maybe one of his for starters?
strong curves is really good for beginners. i just got the book and there's some good info in there. seems like he gives a lot of variations for things too.
i havent done it because i dont think i can do the glute raises with any amount of dignity in public0 -
Thank you for the responses everyone. I feel like it's just awkward because I'm with college guys, but that's really just an excuse.
I just need to make it happen. I want a nice *kitten*, goddammit!
Nice *kitten*, you say?
Look up Brett Contreras
Yes lol!!! That's honestly the main reason I want to lift. Yeah I want a nice fit body, but I really want a great *kitten*! Is that too much to ask for?
And yeah I've heard about him! Idk what program I should do, so maybe one of his for starters?
strong curves is really good for beginners. i just got the book and there's some good info in there. seems like he gives a lot of variations for things too.
i havent done it because i dont think i can do the glute raises with any amount of dignity in public
I have a waist of 29inches and a backside of 45, if I can wave my *kitten* around with impunity, anyone can. Besides, I figure I'm never going to be able to move my *kitten* from the specialist interest section without doing exercises like that. :laugh: I try to pretend it's all about being strong and healthy, but yeah, an enviable backside would also be just super.
I found 'New Rules of Lifting for Women' a good starting point. Or pick any other programme, I found I felt much more confident knowing I had a plan to follow, instead of drifting about aimlessly, as I did the first few times.
I've never come across anyone horrible, even the young, well-buff guys that I assumed wouldn't give me the time of day. Well, perhaps in a bar they still wouldn't... I didn't get offended when someone valiantly offered to help me get rid of 2 50kg plates off a bar I wanted to use this afternoon after watching me struggle. The twit that walked off from them perhaps thought that clearing up his c*ap would be would be a great warm up for me. :grumble:
Honestly, feel the fear and do it anyway! It really does get easier after the first few times.0
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