A girl on my team called me fat...

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Replies

  • Stella_Mayfair
    Stella_Mayfair Posts: 226 Member
    You seem to have body issues

    This is the 3rd post I've seen by you touting your weight, height, and measurements and asking if youre fat or some variation of that.

    Stop seeking validation from others and learn to love yourself

    How can ppl love themselves when it is human that we all have body issues? And you just throw a stupid response like this at her? Why comment, you have no helpful info for her and looks like you just want ppl to believe you are so content. If you are so content with your body etc, ignore me calling you out.
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  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    Definitely not fat. Hard to even imagine someone thinking that. Don't take it personally. Strength training is still a good thing, though, if you would like.
  • RedArizona5
    RedArizona5 Posts: 465 Member
    She said that to make herself look better-but if anyone that heard that had any common courtesy and respect at all would not have taken that to be true. You know if your fat or not. Girls these days are cruel-if someone called me that and i had your stats-i would have laughed right then and there…kids telling each other to die or go kill themselves is another new low-No one takes that seriously-i wouldn't-stupid!
    And you are fit so don't listen to what anyone says-if you want to tone up you can but c'mon now:) she is a loser who wants to put other people down so don't let her take up rent space in your head-you have lots of other things to worry and focus on like you being awesome:)
  • succeedin2
    succeedin2 Posts: 501 Member
    She's jealous because you are too adorable!
  • Fsunami
    Fsunami Posts: 241 Member
    I'm on a volleyball team. We were spiking today (I'm a setter, this is my weak spot). After my third time not making it over, I overheard an offhand comment about being fat. Am I?
    I've been rather upbeat recently. Her comment crushed me. I'm 19, weigh 110lbs with measurements of 32-26-34 at 5'4. I used to be 140ish. I know I've got to tone, but do you think I'm big? I've got pictures on my profile.
    I'm not the biggest on the team, but not the smallest. Almost everyone on the team wears a size 1 or 0. The best spiker is a 00.

    STOP LETTING THE OPINIONS OF OTHERS DEFINE WHO YOU ARE. ONLY YOU CAN DO THAT, OR GIVE THEM THE POWER TO DO SO.

    FAT? 312. I ONCE WAS. NOW IM NOT. BUT I DONT GIVE A **** WHAT ANYONE THINKS ABOUT IT. MY LIFE, MY CHOICES, IN THE END, MY RESPONSIBILTY.

    External validation will bite you in the *kitten*.
  • Miss_1999
    Miss_1999 Posts: 747 Member
    I'm gonna be brutally honest. I think that it's WONDERFUL for people of ALL shapes and sizes to get out and be active, play sports, ect. But I just can't wrap my head around the best spiker being a 00? How does she remotely have the strength to get the air AND the ball over the net? I realize, that there ARE people who are naturally this size, and they are struggling to gain weight and/or muscle, by NO means am I downing and/or making fun of them. I realize that for some, being small and gaining weight is just as much of a struggle as it is for those of us who are overweight and trying to lose weight, however, if you are extremely small, and the measurements I found for 00 are as followed: 30-23-32 -- that is EXTREMELY small. By no means am I saying that people who are small can't accomplish great things if they put their mind to it, but they're gonna have to work their butts off to build muscle to be strong enough to do it.

    Volleyball is a sport where if you're a little thicker, it isn't a bad thing, and having muscle and tone is necessary. If you aren't strong, you're gonna get hurt.

    As for your *team* mates, that was a ****ty thing for someone who's a part of a team to say. She needs to check herself. When you're on a team, it's about building one another up and working together, not tearing one another down. She needs a reality check in the worst way. One has to wonder, if she isn't hiding body issues as well, and projecting them onto you, and anyone else to hide her insecurity.

    I agree with what others have said, as well. You have had a few posts seeking validation. I get it, being a young person is hard. You're trying to find yourself, and you're just getting started out in life. It took me a long time to realize, it honestly doesn't matter. People will tell you this OVER and over again, but it's something you're going to have to learn for yourself. What you think about yourself is the only thing that matters. You have to be comfortable in your own skin, and like what you see in the mirror. If someone tells me I'm ugly, a fat *kitten*, or anything else, I don't give a ****. I really don't. Unless you're my husband, you're not paying my bills, putting a roof over my head, food on my table, or clothes on my back, so there's no need for me to remotely be impressing you *general you, that is*. I dress to make me happy, enjoy things that make me happy, and do what makes me happy in life. The rest, it's just details.
  • TheVirgoddess
    TheVirgoddess Posts: 4,535 Member
    Here's a quote that I think applies here:
    I mean, is ‘fat’ really the worst thing a human being can be? Is ‘fat’ worse than ‘vindictive’, ‘jealous’, ‘shallow’, ‘vain’, ‘boring’ or ‘cruel’? Not to me

    ~JK Rowling

    I'd focus less on what other people say/think about you and more on what you say and think about yourself.
  • Biggirllittledreams
    Biggirllittledreams Posts: 306 Member
    Fat is an adjective - not an insult. I'm pretty sure you wouldn't of been offended if the same girl called you skinny, eh? Skinny & fat are adjectives used to describe our bodies - ones we place ENTIRELY too much meaning in.
  • Kalikel
    Kalikel Posts: 9,603 Member
    Screw her. Even if you were fat, it's not a nice thing to say. And you aren't fat, so it's not only mean, it's wrong.

    And not particularly clever.

    She's just being a beeyatch.

    You don't want that sort of person to like you and should be proud that she doesn't. Puts you up where you belong.

    Leave her to her misery and go on with your life and your fun. :)
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member

    I am surprised that everyone on your team is so tiny...

    yeah this is what I was thinking. I know some girls who currently play volleyball at high school level and most of them are definitely not size 00. They're usually lean, but quite muscular & fit and much larger than that.
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    Girls can be very mean to each other.
  • RedArizona5
    RedArizona5 Posts: 465 Member

    I am surprised that everyone on your team is so tiny...

    yeah this is what I was thinking. I know some girls who currently play volleyball at high school level and most of them are definitely not size 00. They're usually lean, but quite muscular & fit and much larger than that.
    I concur
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    People can be small because they have a small bone structure and still be fit, strong, and physically accomplished. We all come in different sizes.
  • RedArizona5
    RedArizona5 Posts: 465 Member
    Girls can be very mean to each other.
    I agree with you too -it amazes me how immature and mean and nit picky adult woman can be towards others...
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  • DeeJayShank
    DeeJayShank Posts: 92 Member
    When we are young, we focus way too much on what other people think instead of focusing on how we feel about ourselves.

    You are 19... you are young... so you focus on what other people think.

    This is natural and expected. Most of us did the same thing at 19. I did, too.

    But eventually you realize that the world is a really big effing place, and that you're a very small fish in that very big pond. And suddenly you realize that everyone ELSE is just a little fish, too, just trying to swim against the current. Somehow, this makes it easier to ignore what other people think and instead focus on what YOU are doing and YOUR goals and how YOU will achieve them. Suddenly, you're just trying to beat the current instead of trying to beat all of the other little fish.

    Your problem right now is just the curse of youth. You have the whole world ahead of you, with lots of great years left to enjoy, and yet this is precisely the time in our lives when we tend to over-analyze situations and what other people say about us.

    By the time you're "old" (I am 31, so to most people, I am still a kid, but to you I probably seem ancient) you don't have as much time left or as much youth to enjoy.

    BUT as we age, we figure out that we don't really give a crap what other people think and instead we want to better ourselves so that we can be a better spouse, a better friend, a better parent, and a better person. We strive to be the best version of ourselves and ignore the naysayers.

    I know that what I am saying sounds like old-man talk, but go ahead and print this topic, put it in a box, wait 11 years, and when you turn 30, go back and read it. Hopefully you will say, "Damn, all of those people were right."

    I don't think you look fat, you like like a healthy teenager. Just remember that the power to be the best version of yourself comes from within, and what other people say or do to you doesn't have to affect how you approach your life, how you approach your goals, or how you see yourself.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    To be honest this is a new account and is very similar to a person that trolls this site with this exact scenario. Creating new accounts, posting it in the forum, account gone, start over, again and again.
  • DeeJayShank
    DeeJayShank Posts: 92 Member
    To be honest this is a new account and is very similar to a person that trolls this site with this exact scenario. Creating new accounts, posting it in the forum, account gone, start over, again and again.

    For every troll, there are 100 girls that actually think this about themselves. So the topic is hopefully still speaking to people positively.
  • baba_helly
    baba_helly Posts: 810 Member
    You sure she wasn't saying phat?

    Homonyms can be confusing
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    You sure she wasn't saying phat?

    Homonyms can be confusing

    I think this is what really happened.
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,942 Member
    I'm on a volleyball team. We were spiking today (I'm a setter, this is my weak spot). After my third time not making it over, I overheard an offhand comment about being fat. Am I?
    I've been rather upbeat recently. Her comment crushed me. I'm 19, weigh 110lbs with measurements of 32-26-34 at 5'4. I used to be 140ish. I know I've got to tone, but do you think I'm big? I've got pictures on my profile.
    I'm not the biggest on the team, but not the smallest. Almost everyone on the team wears a size 1 or 0. The best spiker is a 00.
    Well, no, you're not fat, and you know you're not. In fact, if you go by height weight charts, you are about four pounds underweight. http://www.healthchecksystems.com/heightweightchart.htm

    Who cares what sizes other people one the team wear. Be proud of your accomplishment and don't try to compete for size with them.

    I'm sure that girl said that you're fat within earshot so you'd hear it, and only because it made her feel better about herself. Comments like that are always about the other person and never about you.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    To be honest this is a new account and is very similar to a person that trolls this site with this exact scenario. Creating new accounts, posting it in the forum, account gone, start over, again and again.

    For every troll, there are 100 girls that actually think this about themselves. So the topic is hopefully still speaking to people positively.

    She does it to create drama. Getting people to say girls are mean, blah blah blah. And omg small people are weak and stuff. No, it's not helpful to continually encourage nonsense stereotypes. We are tired of her trolling.
  • morehealthymatt
    morehealthymatt Posts: 208 Member
    The problem is hers, not yours.
  • rosiereally2
    rosiereally2 Posts: 539 Member
    Nope. Not fat.
  • mxmkenney
    mxmkenney Posts: 486 Member
    Haters be hating. You are not fat, and not everyone can be a size zero, nor should they. I am a size 10 but even when I do reach my goal weight which is in the middle of my ideal BMI range, I doubt I will be less than a size 8. I'm tall and it is not physically possible (minus having a severe eating disorder) to get down to that size. Don't worry about your size compared to other girls on your team. You worry about being healthy and fit, and tell those haters they can kiss your toned behind!
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,942 Member
    Like another poster pointed out and based on your posting history you obviously have body image issues. Maybe some of your teammates are aware of this that that individual was looking to be a hateful as possible and knew saying something like that to hurt you.

    Ignore those kind of people but also maybe try speaking to someone about your issues with your body image.
    Yep, now I realize seeing these other postings.

    OP, please talk with a professional as well as ignore this girl on your team. Never, NEVER, allow anyone else to define you.
  • I've never heard an actual volleyball player refer to it as "spiking" or call someone a "spiker". It was hitting practice and she is the best hitter. From this, I can assume the poster who called troll is correct. Go away. Or, learn the terminology for the sport you purportedly play. Either would be fine.
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  • FindingAmy77
    FindingAmy77 Posts: 1,268 Member
    she is jealous and used the word that hits the heart of most women. period. you are not fat. if you lose weight or tone up do it for you and not for someone who wants you to be anorexic. People only put someone down when they feel that you are above them so they want to bring you down. Don't let them win. :flowerforyou: