A girl on my team called me fat...

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13

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  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,742 Member
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    I am surprised that everyone on your team is so tiny...

    yeah this is what I was thinking. I know some girls who currently play volleyball at high school level and most of them are definitely not size 00. They're usually lean, but quite muscular & fit and much larger than that.
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
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    Girls can be very mean to each other.
  • RedArizona5
    RedArizona5 Posts: 465 Member
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    I am surprised that everyone on your team is so tiny...

    yeah this is what I was thinking. I know some girls who currently play volleyball at high school level and most of them are definitely not size 00. They're usually lean, but quite muscular & fit and much larger than that.
    I concur
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
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    People can be small because they have a small bone structure and still be fit, strong, and physically accomplished. We all come in different sizes.
  • RedArizona5
    RedArizona5 Posts: 465 Member
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    Girls can be very mean to each other.
    I agree with you too -it amazes me how immature and mean and nit picky adult woman can be towards others...
  • DeeJayShank
    DeeJayShank Posts: 92 Member
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    When we are young, we focus way too much on what other people think instead of focusing on how we feel about ourselves.

    You are 19... you are young... so you focus on what other people think.

    This is natural and expected. Most of us did the same thing at 19. I did, too.

    But eventually you realize that the world is a really big effing place, and that you're a very small fish in that very big pond. And suddenly you realize that everyone ELSE is just a little fish, too, just trying to swim against the current. Somehow, this makes it easier to ignore what other people think and instead focus on what YOU are doing and YOUR goals and how YOU will achieve them. Suddenly, you're just trying to beat the current instead of trying to beat all of the other little fish.

    Your problem right now is just the curse of youth. You have the whole world ahead of you, with lots of great years left to enjoy, and yet this is precisely the time in our lives when we tend to over-analyze situations and what other people say about us.

    By the time you're "old" (I am 31, so to most people, I am still a kid, but to you I probably seem ancient) you don't have as much time left or as much youth to enjoy.

    BUT as we age, we figure out that we don't really give a crap what other people think and instead we want to better ourselves so that we can be a better spouse, a better friend, a better parent, and a better person. We strive to be the best version of ourselves and ignore the naysayers.

    I know that what I am saying sounds like old-man talk, but go ahead and print this topic, put it in a box, wait 11 years, and when you turn 30, go back and read it. Hopefully you will say, "Damn, all of those people were right."

    I don't think you look fat, you like like a healthy teenager. Just remember that the power to be the best version of yourself comes from within, and what other people say or do to you doesn't have to affect how you approach your life, how you approach your goals, or how you see yourself.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
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    To be honest this is a new account and is very similar to a person that trolls this site with this exact scenario. Creating new accounts, posting it in the forum, account gone, start over, again and again.
  • DeeJayShank
    DeeJayShank Posts: 92 Member
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    To be honest this is a new account and is very similar to a person that trolls this site with this exact scenario. Creating new accounts, posting it in the forum, account gone, start over, again and again.

    For every troll, there are 100 girls that actually think this about themselves. So the topic is hopefully still speaking to people positively.
  • baba_helly
    baba_helly Posts: 810 Member
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    You sure she wasn't saying phat?

    Homonyms can be confusing
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
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    You sure she wasn't saying phat?

    Homonyms can be confusing

    I think this is what really happened.
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,943 Member
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    I'm on a volleyball team. We were spiking today (I'm a setter, this is my weak spot). After my third time not making it over, I overheard an offhand comment about being fat. Am I?
    I've been rather upbeat recently. Her comment crushed me. I'm 19, weigh 110lbs with measurements of 32-26-34 at 5'4. I used to be 140ish. I know I've got to tone, but do you think I'm big? I've got pictures on my profile.
    I'm not the biggest on the team, but not the smallest. Almost everyone on the team wears a size 1 or 0. The best spiker is a 00.
    Well, no, you're not fat, and you know you're not. In fact, if you go by height weight charts, you are about four pounds underweight. http://www.healthchecksystems.com/heightweightchart.htm

    Who cares what sizes other people one the team wear. Be proud of your accomplishment and don't try to compete for size with them.

    I'm sure that girl said that you're fat within earshot so you'd hear it, and only because it made her feel better about herself. Comments like that are always about the other person and never about you.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
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    To be honest this is a new account and is very similar to a person that trolls this site with this exact scenario. Creating new accounts, posting it in the forum, account gone, start over, again and again.

    For every troll, there are 100 girls that actually think this about themselves. So the topic is hopefully still speaking to people positively.

    She does it to create drama. Getting people to say girls are mean, blah blah blah. And omg small people are weak and stuff. No, it's not helpful to continually encourage nonsense stereotypes. We are tired of her trolling.
  • morehealthymatt
    morehealthymatt Posts: 208 Member
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    The problem is hers, not yours.
  • rosiereally2
    rosiereally2 Posts: 539 Member
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    Nope. Not fat.
  • mxmkenney
    mxmkenney Posts: 486 Member
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    Haters be hating. You are not fat, and not everyone can be a size zero, nor should they. I am a size 10 but even when I do reach my goal weight which is in the middle of my ideal BMI range, I doubt I will be less than a size 8. I'm tall and it is not physically possible (minus having a severe eating disorder) to get down to that size. Don't worry about your size compared to other girls on your team. You worry about being healthy and fit, and tell those haters they can kiss your toned behind!
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,943 Member
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    Like another poster pointed out and based on your posting history you obviously have body image issues. Maybe some of your teammates are aware of this that that individual was looking to be a hateful as possible and knew saying something like that to hurt you.

    Ignore those kind of people but also maybe try speaking to someone about your issues with your body image.
    Yep, now I realize seeing these other postings.

    OP, please talk with a professional as well as ignore this girl on your team. Never, NEVER, allow anyone else to define you.
  • Junken__Diraffe
    Junken__Diraffe Posts: 102
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    I've never heard an actual volleyball player refer to it as "spiking" or call someone a "spiker". It was hitting practice and she is the best hitter. From this, I can assume the poster who called troll is correct. Go away. Or, learn the terminology for the sport you purportedly play. Either would be fine.
  • FindingAmy77
    FindingAmy77 Posts: 1,266 Member
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    she is jealous and used the word that hits the heart of most women. period. you are not fat. if you lose weight or tone up do it for you and not for someone who wants you to be anorexic. People only put someone down when they feel that you are above them so they want to bring you down. Don't let them win. :flowerforyou:

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