Moderation DOES NOT WORK for me

MaidensAndMonsters

Things don't work for you- you work for them. We all have to make sacrifices. The benefits of eating well and getting fit are much more abundant than something that tastes good for 5 minutes.

SLLRunner

The world is full of temptations, the only thing that stands between them and you is self control.

This is so zen....and very true! :bigsmile:

OP, that's it. Make your portion and say no to the rest.

Years ago, a doctor told me to lose weight and I said something along the lines that I would have to give up my burritos to do that. She said, "it's not about not have the burrito, it's about having half and saving the rest for another day".

If you are trying to moderate your food and mum loads up your plate, eat your portion and tell her you're saving the rest for tomorrow, and mean it.

desidieter

It's absolutely a struggle at first, but if you can develop self control, eventually it gets easier. Try using junk food as an incentive or a treat once you've made some progress. I know a lot of people (myself included) who allow themselves cheat days every once in a while. The key to that is to only have them EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE, though. I allow myself a cheat day every 3 weeks or so, depending on how my weight loss progress is going. On those days, I just binge eat whatever I want - no calorie counting, etc. And on the non-cheat days, if you really need to splurge, just watch your portions. To be honest, I've come to discover that after weeks and weeks of eating well, my body actually rejects a lot of the unhealthy stuff because I've essentially trained it to eat and respond to foods that are better for me. But it sure is nice to have cheat days to look forward to. For me, they're a good motivator.

At the end of the day, you have to find a system that works for YOU and YOU have to decide what your priorities are. I don't really believe in the whole 'nothing tastes as good as skinny feels' mentality, but every time you go for that extra cookie or slice of pizza, ask yourself: "what effect will this have on my body/health?" If you answer that question honestly every time, you'll eventually find it easier to say no to things that aren't good for you.

lindsey1979

This is going to be difficult since you don't have control of your environment since you live at home. These would be my suggestions for you:

(1) Put Off-Limit Foods Out of Sight. Since you can't keep the foods out of your house, ask the other members of your house to put them somewhere out of sight. If you don't have to go into that cupboard with the goodies, that will help with some of the temptation as they won't always be looking you right in the face tempting you. It's easier knowing that they're there than having to actually see them every time you open the cupboard door, challenging your self-control and judgment. Hopefully, one day you'll be somewhere that you can keep such foods out of your house.

(2) Eliminate the Off-Limit Foods from your Diet for 30 days. This allows you to go through the withdrawal part. I know it's really hard, but this will help so much in resetting your taste buds and palate. After 30 days off the foods, you may find that your cravings and tastes change considerably, especially if a lot of your off-limit foods have a lot of added sugar or are highly processed (many of both have addictive-like qualities). I've personally found a Whole 30 or Strict Paleo approach to be very helpful for this "detox" phase. Gives you a good structure to follow, which I find helpful, and generally has good reasons behind the food eliminations. After that, then start working some of the foods you'd like to have back in your diet back in and see how your body responds to them. You may find some startling discoveries -- I know I did.

(3) Find Substitutes for Your Favorites. One of the easiest ways to break a bad habit is to form a new good habit. They say it takes 6 weeks in total to break a bad habit -- 3 weeks to stop the bad habit and 3 more to instill a new healthy habit. If you have a sweet tooth, start focusing on low glycemic fruits -- berries are some of the best -- rather than your past favorites. Try to add in a little fat and/or protein when you eat them -- this will increase satiety and reduce spiking your insulin (leading to later hunger). If you like pasta, try spaghetti squash next time. Lots of good substitutes out there.

(4) Make Sure You're Getting Your Proper Macros and Micros and Eat Nutrient Dense Foods. If you're fueling your body properly, you'll be less susceptible to random cravings for nutrients from random sources.

(5) When You Get a Craving, Drink a Glass of Water Instead. Oftentimes, we mistake thirst for hunger. This becomes more of an issue when we're dehydrated, which can be exacerbated by sugary, salty and/or highly processed foods. If you're still hungry, then focus on your food choices.

(6) Get Enough Protein (at least 0.7 g per lb bodyweight). Protein is highly satiating. People often find that when they up their protein, cravings for certain things can be reduced because they're not as hungry.

(7) Get Enough Sleep and Try to Manage Stress. Lack of sleep and too much stress can really drive cravings, especially for carby or sugary foods. You're tired, so your body tells you to eat something with quick calories (i.e. carbs/sugar) for energy. But that just ends up with people generally overeating or going through nasty sugar crashes. Folks getting enough sleep and managing stress often report less cravings and better weight control -- their hormones aren't all out of whack, trying to compensate for the fatigue.

(8) Exercise. Exercise is one of the best combatants to cravings. Even a brisk walk will release endorphins and soothing neurotransmitters. It helps immensely with stress control, evening out the hormones, etc. -- which all help you make easier and better food choices.

(9) Moderation Isn't For Everyone. And that's okay. It's better to know you, and what works for you rather than to try to follow someone else's path. There are plenty of people that don't do well with moderation. They have to walk different paths. Don't let anyone shame you into this. There is nothing wrong with you that moderation doesn't suit you.

For many things in my life, moderation doesn't work. I'm much more an all-or-nothing person generally. And that's worked for me -- in fact, it's brought me great success in certain things. When I'm out paragliding, I can't crash in moderation. I've got to never crash. So, there is nothing wrong for opting for a diet plan that isn't moderation-based. There are other paths to success as well -- and some don't involve moderation.

ana3067

Try changing your view of food. No food is bad or good for fat loss or weight maintenance.. you just eat less of it. Which is what moderation is all about - it requires a healthy attitude towards food.

Unless you plan on NEVER eating junk food once you are done losing weight, then you need to learn how to fit food you love into your macros/calories for the day. I eat junk daily usually. Still get all my protein in.

Sued0nim

Sounds mad but sometimes when I really crave something I'll eat something else entirely.

For example this morning when I woke up I fancied toast ...now I will eat toast (with cottage cheese, avocado and tomato *drool*) but the whole waking up thinking about it disturbs me...so I'm going to have something else for breakfast ..maybe a cheese omelette ...something not carby because I'm clearly craving carbs right now

That doesn't mean I won't have the toast another time..but I don't want the crave satisfy response to resurrect itself

Both foods are equally valid and fine within my calories but my response to them needs altering

Liking to eat and craving - they're different - it's just food

amusedmonkey

What may help you with moderation is to set a rule for yourself to never eat X item unless you already ate items from list Y (list Y being the items that make you full).

If you devour a big salad, a cup of yogurt and some chicken chicken breast you will be physically unable to eat a full pizza but you will have enough calories left over for a slice. One slice would suffice, and in some cases you won't even touch that.

DapperKay

Maybe you can try to start by doing your own pizzas. You can cat the cals/fat down by up to 50% this way. Use low fat cheese, low fat passata (which is already low fat anyways), chicken breast, that sort of thing. If you don't know how to make a pizza base you can buy these ready made or buy ready made dough. It will take some getting used to but you'll get there.

The reason I say this is because I am a massive foodie too and I just love street food. Meat, cheese, onions and a bread - that's me. But I found that when I do these at home, I control the situation very well. So I use lean meats, I sautee with oil spray, I use low fat cheeses, and often I bake my own breads. Ta-da, awesome food at your disposal that fits your macros. But you have to start by understanding your daily allowance and set some realistic goal. Good luck.

Meerataila

You are 18. I am going to suggest to you what I wish someone had suggested to me when I was 18 (I bet I wouldn't have listened, but maybe you'll be smarter than I ever was!).

Forget ordering pizza or eating whatever they family brings home. Learn two things: Nutrition and cooking. Then combine them.

Along with learning about what foods provide the most nutrition for the least amount of calories, find all the foods that fill you up, give you energy, help you reach or maintain a healthy weight, and make you happy and mentally sharp. Eat those foods daily. Stop regularly eating any food that makes you hungry after you eat them, sluggish, fat, sad, and foggy-headed.

The only downside is it the cost. Healthy foods are more expensive. But you can still work with staples like dried beans. And if you can afford to order a pizza, you can afford to go to the grocery store and spend money in the produce section, then come home and make your own pizza.

Iwishyouwell

Two pieces of bread turn into one, a piece of cake is now a sliver, one piece of pizza (depending on how large) is just one piece not two or more.

A Big Mac is now just a Big Mac without the fries, Sodas are now diet soda, etc, etc. etc.

And that sounds abysmal to me. That kind of moderation holds no appeal.

I think it's important for people around here struggling with this kind of moderation to realize that there are indeed other ways to moderate.

Personally instead of looking at the "all or nothing" approach as a bad thing, I embrace it. I'm going to have as much cake or ice cream as I want. I'm just going to limit how often I have it. Not everyone is interested in a "sliver of a treat a day". I almost never eat pizza or fast food, because I just don't crave it, but if I do I'm going to eat as much (or as little) as I like. That's my moderation.

I've seen others who prefer to be very strict with their diet during the week, while having a lot more freedom during the weekend. Some have a free meal.

OP, find YOUR moderation.

CLM1227

There was a week where I ordered pizza delivery every day that week.

I Pizza. Dieting and the pursuit of weight loss was greatly hindered by my love for pizza and the thought of giving it up FOREVER seriously made me cringe and throw my hands up in disgust. No way can I give up pizza for forever. It wasn't pizza that made me fat. It was eating a whole pie daily for a week that made me fat.

Earlier this year, I gave up pizza for 90 days (and all fast food). It was an attempt to break a dependence. For the pizza, I promised myself I would get REALLY GOOD pizza (no pizza hut or dominos) for making it those 90 days. I made it through, got my pizza, and only ate (and thoroughly enjoyed) two pieces.

I ordered a dominos pizza last week and I still have 2 pieces sitting in my fridge that my daughter and I will split tomorrow (today, I need more fiber).

I struggle more with cravings than appetite. I frankly am not hungry very often... probably because of the pizza a day thing... but cravings get in my head and I feel like there's nothing I can do to get rid of them. With pizza, I started eating mozzarella cubes combined with cherry tomatoes - thoroughly healthy snack that satisfied my need for cheesy, saucy goodness. Also, I would slice fresh tomatoes, sprinkle with oregano & basil, sprinkle some shredded mozz on it and stick in the oven for a couple minutes (those were good, too).

It takes a lot of will power, but also learning what motivates you and working around the cravings. I thought it was impossible for me to find moderation, but I did.

Sabine_Stroehm

Try changing your view of food. No food is bad or good for fat loss or weight maintenance.. you just eat less of it. Which is what moderation is all about - it requires a healthy attitude towards food.

Unless you plan on NEVER eating junk food once you are done losing weight, then you need to learn how to fit food you love into your macros/calories for the day. I eat junk daily usually. Still get all my protein in.

This sounds a bit like there's only ONE healthy relationship with food.

MaidensAndMonsters

If you want to stop eating that stuff, just stop. Tell yourself, "No." Like some else said, self-control.

If you cannot stop, see if you can find a therapist who specializes in eating disorders. They can help you figure out if you have one or not. They can also help you and work through why you want that stuff so much.

So just because someone can't eliminate a whole bunch of foods it's an eating disorder. Lol. Yea, that makes sense.

Things don't work for you- you work for them. We all have to make sacrifices. The benefits of eating well and getting fit are much more abundant than something that tastes good for 5 minutes.

Who says we can't eat something that tastes good and be healthy/fit? It's not one or the the other.

Of course......but her whole problem is that she can't do that. Some people need to go cold turkey. Most alcoholics never drink again. It's a real thing.

ana3067

Try changing your view of food. No food is bad or good for fat loss or weight maintenance.. you just eat less of it. Which is what moderation is all about - it requires a healthy attitude towards food.

Unless you plan on NEVER eating junk food once you are done losing weight, then you need to learn how to fit food you love into your macros/calories for the day. I eat junk daily usually. Still get all my protein in.

This sounds a bit like there's only ONE healthy relationship with food.

I guess there is, and that would be "don't demonize food or label things as 'good' or 'bad,' simply eat for enjoyment and eat to satisfy yourself mentally/emotionally/physically."

For some, that might mean that they wind up eating junk food daily or most days (like me), or it might mean that they eat junk food every now and then without assuming it will ruin their progress/results. In another thread about diet foods in the recipes section, most of us replied with a similar answer, that food is not to be judged and is simply to be enjoyed in portions that can be worked into our day's needs.

Someone can eat very "clean" most of the time, and that's fine, if they are eating that way because it provides them with joy and they are happy eating this way. But a lot of people who eat clean (myself once upon a time) can often become very... obsessed with it. Overthinking everything they eat, maybe resulting in binging because htey just could no longer handle not eating the "bad" food they've been craving... that's no way to live.

amusedmonkey

Two pieces of bread turn into one, a piece of cake is now a sliver, one piece of pizza (depending on how large) is just one piece not two or more.

A Big Mac is now just a Big Mac without the fries, Sodas are now diet soda, etc, etc. etc.

And that sounds abysmal to me. That kind of moderation holds no appeal.

I think it's important for people around here struggling with this kind of moderation to realize that there are indeed other ways to moderate.

Personally instead of looking at the "all or nothing" approach as a bad thing, I embrace it. I'm going to have as much cake or ice cream as I want. I'm just going to limit how often I have it. Not everyone is interested in a "sliver of a treat a day". I almost never eat pizza or fast food, because I just don't crave it, but if I do I'm going to eat as much (or as little) as I like. That's my moderation.

I've seen others who prefer to be very strict with their diet during the week, while having a lot more freedom during the weekend. Some have a free meal.

OP, find YOUR moderation.

I too am not a "sliver" person. For higher calorie foods I do one of these, depending on situation:
1. If it's a leftover or I want it but not enough to allocate too many calories, I eat a slice or a sliver or whatever after a big low calorie meal.
2. If I want it and can allocate calories I eat a moderate amount (2 slices for example) within my calorie budget.
3. If I feel like gorging I eat a bit less of the other stuff and/or exercise more and have the amount I want.
4. If I have a night out or a party or simply don't feel like restricting my calories that day I eat at maintenance and exercise a bit more and have an "all you can eat" day (within my maintenance calories).

LadyGisborne

I became a binge eater when I was living with my parents. I remained a binge eater when I moved tomy own place. It has nothing to do with temptation. It is about self-control. At the moment I am losing weight in a house full of my husband's crisps, and I bake almost every day for my children.
Could you try to go cold turkey on sugar for 3 days? It really helped me when I was stuck in binge eating. Sure, the three days were very hard, but I kept telling myself that it was only 3 days. After 3 days without sugar the physical cravings all but disappeared.

Sabine_Stroehm

Try changing your view of food. No food is bad or good for fat loss or weight maintenance.. you just eat less of it. Which is what moderation is all about - it requires a healthy attitude towards food.

Unless you plan on NEVER eating junk food once you are done losing weight, then you need to learn how to fit food you love into your macros/calories for the day. I eat junk daily usually. Still get all my protein in.

This sounds a bit like there's only ONE healthy relationship with food.

I guess there is, and that would be "don't demonize food or label things as 'good' or 'bad,' simply eat for enjoyment and eat to satisfy yourself mentally/emotionally/physically."

For some, that might mean that they wind up eating junk food daily or most days (like me), or it might mean that they eat junk food every now and then without assuming it will ruin their progress/results. In another thread about diet foods in the recipes section, most of us replied with a similar answer, that food is not to be judged and is simply to be enjoyed in portions that can be worked into our day's needs.

Someone can eat very "clean" most of the time, and that's fine, if they are eating that way because it provides them with joy and they are happy eating this way. But a lot of people who eat clean (myself once upon a time) can often become very... obsessed with it. Overthinking everything they eat, maybe resulting in binging because htey just could no longer handle not eating the "bad" food they've been craving... that's no way to live.

Again, that sounds like there's just ONE way to be.