Diet Judgement

its_about_the_journey

Once you reach the "vanity pounds" stage, how do you all deal with haters?

I acknowledge that I am at a "healthy" weight by contemporary american standards - I range between 22 and 25% bodyfat at my lowest/highest. I hope to break into the 20% range someday, for a toned/athletic look. My husband is really supportive of the fat-loss thing. To the point of saying "are you sure?" before I eat something, or giving me the corresponding look. It's ok, he thinks he is being helpful.

EVERYONE else in my life consistently reacts the opposite way. If I say no thank you to a cupcakes/donuts/candy, they tell me I am thin enough and to EAT EAT EAT. This is hard because I actually really want said dessert - I have a ridiculous sweet tooth- so having it shoved in my face multiple times typically results in me eating it. Then being angry, then having an existential crisis and eating more.

What I am looking for is some tips for how to convince people to leave me alone and eat vegetables if I want- or the cake if it looks exceptionally good.
Tips on sweet-tooth mitigation would also be appreciated! It would be a lot easier to be strong when faced with cupcakes if I didn't love sugar so much.

tquill

Just keeping saying no, they'll get the hint eventually.

As for saying no to yourself... just imagine how you'll feel the instant you're done eating that cupcake. It was good, but it was over quick... so what was the point?

Or just fit it into your diet. I eat multiple ice cream sandwiches every day and they fit in my macros just fine.

astroophys

It's not really about convincing other people of anything. It's more about convincing yourself that there opinions don't matter as much as your own when it comes to your body and your health.

I have a sweet tooth, too. My mom baked a cake and brought it over last night. I haven't thought about, didn't eat any last night (because I already met my calorie goal) and haven't touched it today because I started my day with a workout and, honestly, just felt better eating some protein and veggies afterwards. If you slowly eat less sugar, you will be less addicted to it, I promise. A couple days ago, I tried this Trader Joe salad. The dressing tasted disgustingly sweet to me. But, a couple of months ago, when I was making marshmallow fluff sandwiches, I doubt it would have tasted sweet at all.

Also, you can eat a cupcake. You just don't really need to eat 4 or 5 (I've been there, believe me!)

astroophys

Also, I want to add: don't give in. For instance, a few weeks ago, I was eating breakfast at a hotel. I ordered a biscuit because I wasn't that hungry. The waitress started to act very motherly with me and told my family that I "need to eat." I felt uncomfortable about it, so I ordered more food and overate. Not worth it to overeat in order to please others and make them more comfortable with their lifestyle choices.

Meerataila

Say no. Get louder if you are made to repeat yourself. Get louder still if some fool tries again. By the time the neighbors can hear you, people will take the hint.

It's childish, but so is pushing food on someone who doesn't want or need it.

jstandre23

If I were in your situation, I would be really rude to people. But that's not advice. I'm sure you'll handle everything just fine.

Meerataila

Double post for inspiration:

Or you could guarantee your family will NEVER push food on you again by looking at your husband, smiling, and then saying I can't, we want to try this new position with our bedroom swing, and I need to be a little thinner to bend a certain way.

Kalikel

I hate that. People love to tell others to eat. Every time the food is broken out, they start trying to negotiate you into eating. I don't get it. I always wonder if they're people who have an emotional connection to food and think you'll be unhappy if you don't eat cake, if they're uncomfortable with their choice to partake and will feel better if everyone else does or if they're trying to sabotage the diet or what. What?! Why do they do it? I don't know.

Just say "No, thanks" a couple times and then say, "I have made my decision." That usually shuts them up.

If that doesn't work, "You eat it for me." Now shift the negation back on them. Why don't they have it. They can have one little extra piece.

If you say "diet", they'll start going on about how you can have one little piece of cake or how you look great and can eat and stuff. Plus, it brings up the subject of dieting and then there are all those questions. How are you doing it? Are you eating low carb? Suddenly, it's all about you and not whatever else is going on. And you're getting advice out the wazoo. No. Ugh.

It's a little sexist. I never see men being given the third degree, having to defend their choice to skip cake 5 times and then being lectured about why they should eat it.

Those Food Negotiators. So annoying.

"I have made my decision" in a slightly pleasant, but "This is non-negotiable" tone. Usually works!

(This is really a major Pet Peeve of mine.)

kducky22

Double post for inspiration:

Or you could guarantee your family will NEVER push food on you again by looking at your husband, smiling, and then saying I can't, we want to try this new position with our bedroom swing, and I need to be a little thinner to bend a certain way.

Oh my!
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :blushing: :blushing: :blushing:

Joannah700

Your sugar cravings fade the less you eat it.

For me, I have through exposure been exposed to some fabulous desserts and weirdly enough - this has helped tremendously. When I see store bought pie, I scoff inwardly and think - they used shortening and water - it's not going to taste half as good as mine made with cream! And then I don't want to eat it because I feel like I would be cheating myself out of a potentially better dessert.

Same with cakes and whatnot. If I still am thinking about it later, I make myself a pie or a dessert with way more awesome ingredients that is typically richer and results in a smaller portion. But typically, I decide to be lazy and decide against it, which also helps with the weight loss.

It's only when I'm craving something 'artificial' tasting like twinkies or chewy chips ahoy that I find myself caving.

Branstin

Unless someone has the same goals and struggles as you, they won't understand. In some cases, won't care to understand. This isn't your problem. You just have to stick to your guns. If you want some, budget for it. Otherwise, don't eat it. No one can force you to eat if you truly don't want to do it.

SrMaggalicious

Double post for inspiration:

Or you could guarantee your family will NEVER push food on you again by looking at your husband, smiling, and then saying I can't, we want to try this new position with our bedroom swing, and I need to be a little thinner to bend a certain way.

^^^^THIS!! and this is one of the reasons you're one of my friends

caminoslo

Once you reach the "vanity pounds" stage, how do you all deal with haters?

I acknowledge that I am at a "healthy" weight by contemporary american standards - I range between 22 and 25% bodyfat at my lowest/highest. I hope to break into the 20% range someday, for a toned/athletic look. My husband is really supportive of the fat-loss thing. To the point of saying "are you sure?" before I eat something, or giving me the corresponding look. It's ok, he thinks he is being helpful.

EVERYONE else in my life consistently reacts the opposite way. If I say no thank you to a cupcakes/donuts/candy, they tell me I am thin enough and to EAT EAT EAT. This is hard because I actually really want said dessert - I have a ridiculous sweet tooth- so having it shoved in my face multiple times typically results in me eating it. Then being angry, then having an existential crisis and eating more.

What I am looking for is some tips for how to convince people to leave me alone and eat vegetables if I want- or the cake if it looks exceptionally good.
Tips on sweet-tooth mitigation would also be appreciated! It would be a lot easier to be strong when faced with cupcakes if I didn't love sugar so much.

Ive got a lot advice........One perhaps they think they are Complimenting you, or maybe there jealous. Ill normally only eat sweets if i KNOW every ingredient in it like for example something i made

fivethreeone

People who want you to eat something are not "haters."

That's the root of this problem. Why concern yourself with them? You don't need to be rude, give reasons, or convince them of anything. Just say, "no thanks."

If they persist, ignore them. Or just say you are showing solidarity for (insert third world country) children. Then if they persist, it makes them the bad guy.

misschoppo

Or you could guarantee your family will NEVER push food on you again by looking at your husband, smiling, and then saying I can't, we want to try this new position with our bedroom swing, and I need to be a little thinner to bend a certain way.

:laugh:

Holly_Roman_Empire

Or you could guarantee your family will NEVER push food on you again by looking at your husband, smiling, and then saying I can't, we want to try this new position with our bedroom swing, and I need to be a little thinner to bend a certain way.

You win the thread. :drinker:

DamePiglet

People who want you to eat something are not "haters."

That's the root of this problem. Why concern yourself with them? You don't need to be rude, give reasons, or convince them of anything. Just say, "no thanks."

If they persist, ignore them. Or just say you are showing solidarity for (insert third world country) children. Then if they persist, it makes them the bad guy.

Exactly this.
So much drama momma in this thread!

Hangry people.

bwogilvie

There could be a number of reasons for this behavior. Sometimes it's fear or jealousy. But Dr. Yoni Freedhoff speculates in his recent book _The Diet Fix_ that people might be subconsciously worried by weight loss because it's associated with illness, which often causes wasting. I am meeting someone at the airport next month who hasn't seen me since 2012, and I mentioned that she should look for someone thinner than she remembers because I have lost over 50 pounds. In her reply, she asked whether it was voluntary or due to illness.

I suggest saying "Not today, thanks," instead of "No thanks." The former suggests that another day, you might feel like it; it's a bit more conciliatory.

I_Will_End_You

Just say "no thanks, I want to be ripped". Well, that's what I say.

libertino85

I'm kind of in the same boat. EVERYONE seems to be concerned with my weight loss, when, in fact, I am currently at a very healthy weight. It's almost like they're not happy unless you're fat...:ohwell:

lemurcat12

There could be a number of reasons for this behavior. Sometimes it's fear or jealousy. But Dr. Yoni Freedhoff speculates in his recent book _The Diet Fix_ that people might be subconsciously worried by weight loss because it's associated with illness, which often causes wasting.

That's interesting. (I want to read that book.)

I seem to be in a social environment where people are much more reluctant to comment on each other's eating choices than many. Absolutely no one would suggest that someone is getting too thin or must eat, and hardly anyone not very close to me has said anything to me about my (obvious) weight loss (and one of the exceptions was our office's Polish cleaner, who comes from a different cultural background). Back when I lost lots of weight once before (and kept it off for some time), I got only positive comments (you are SO skinny, sometimes, but said in a way that was clearly meant positively and made me happy, whatever that means). The flip side of this is that it seems almost everyone has some dietary thing or another which they are happy to talk about and overweightness and certainly obesity seems much rarer than the stats for the US as a whole.

Anyway, although people mostly haven't said anything to me, a couple of those who did (both men, both good friends) were careful to ask if it was voluntary (I laughed and laughed), and I have also heard that another co-worker was asking about my weight loss, because (she allegedly said) she wanted to make sure it was voluntary and I wasn't sick. I get being uncomfortable asking about it or saying anything (I would be too) but I just found it odd that was even a thought given how fat I was and how much healthier I look now (no question), but maybe there's more to it, psychologically.

Now, I do get encouraged to eat more on occasion, but only when a friend wants to order something to share that she's not comfortable ordering on her own. It was a little socially awkward at first, but I've found it's really no big deal to say I'm just not interested/hungry/in the mood for whatever, although a couple of times I've gone along with it and just had a couple of bites.