Diet Judgement

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2

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  • Skrib69
    Skrib69 Posts: 687 Member
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    I too hate this, but managed to crack it.....

    At first I just politely said no thanks. Then I explained that I was watching what I was eating - no thanks. The third time I made a joke of it by hissing at them and making the sign of the cross with my index fingers, with a big cheesy grin on my face. They didn't ask again.

    However, I do wish I had thought of the bedroom sing option..... That would be cool!
  • holliebevineau
    holliebevineau Posts: 441 Member
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    I try to stay calm but it pisses me off so much. Finally I just lean in close and whisper, no means no. This works like a charm.
  • CindyB97
    CindyB97 Posts: 146 Member
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    I never understood when people say things like "Eat this cupcake, you're thin, you don't need to watch what you eat!" It reminds me of my mother when she calls to say she's coming over and I say "Give me a few minutes, I need to clean up a little" and she'll say "You don't have to clean, your house always looks nice!" Ummmmm, yeah, because I CLEAN it.
  • bjshields
    bjshields Posts: 677 Member
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    As to the sweet tooth, which I also have, I'm working on substituting fruit for sweets. It's nature's candy bar, right? Good luck! Let us know how the swing turns out :drinker:
  • GatorDeb1
    GatorDeb1 Posts: 245 Member
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    I had people at work stage an intervention (when I was at 140 lbs or so at 5'4", I'm at 119 lbs now and I started at 230 lbs). Someone in a walker told me I looked like crap. People at work make fun of me because of what I eat and make fun of me when I don't eat what they bring in for prizes for good work and such (i..e fried chicken).

    I got used to it after a while.

    What I HAVE noticed is that if someone says something about what I eat, they are 99% heavier than me. I can't recall the last time someone skinny commented on what I was eating (other than asking me what it was and where I got it lol).

    They (jokingly, I hope!) threaten me all the time to force-feed me fat.
  • softblondechick
    softblondechick Posts: 1,276 Member
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    Offense, is good defense. If offered food, politely decline. If pressed, state you are going completely sugar free, as a personal challenge. Discuss the health merits of going sugar free/vegetarian/vegan/raw, whatever fits the food offered. This usually shuts down any more discussion.

    My Grandmother was a "guilt tripper", she would look down at the plate of cookies, sigh, state she made them special for me, and if I don't appreciate her any longer...blah blah blah....and I always would eat whatever it was, hence, my issues with food now.

    At least, I learned, to never force food on others, especially my children, who are all a healthy weight.
  • its_about_the_journey
    its_about_the_journey Posts: 10
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    I never understood when people say things like "Eat this cupcake, you're thin, you don't need to watch what you eat!" It reminds me of my mother when she calls to say she's coming over and I say "Give me a few minutes, I need to clean up a little" and she'll say "You don't have to clean, your house always looks nice!" Ummmmm, yeah, because I CLEAN it.

    That is a great comparison!
    Before I actually started losing weight my default reply to weight/exercise comments used to be something about how my shape was definitely not from good genetics. People were usually satisfied by that. Somewhere in this process I forgot it.
    Probably implying that maintaining is difficult is easier to for people to deal with than saying you are trying to change yourself.

    I may switch back to something like that. Anyone who doesn't accept that excuse may get the swing one!
  • iceey
    iceey Posts: 354 Member
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    Do you think it's often overweight people who seem to be the most upset when you say "no" because they are trying to make themselves feel less guilty for eating the dessert?
  • JoyeII
    JoyeII Posts: 240 Member
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    Here's a tip.

    1. Say no.
    2. If they ask again, or make a comment about how you don't need to lose any more weight, or how one little cupcake won't hurt you, or blah blah blah, tell them to **** off.
  • BombshellPhoenix
    BombshellPhoenix Posts: 1,693 Member
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    Do you think it's often overweight people who seem to be the most upset when you say "no" because they are trying to make themselves feel less guilty for eating the dessert?

    Jeebus. If that isn't the most egocentric thing to think.

    Maybe they like cupcakes and want to offer you a cupcake? It doesn't have to be justifying anything.

    Obviously, if they're making remarks on how someone looks as a way to coerce someone into eating it, that's pretty stupid.

    But I'm fairly fit and I would EAT THE DAMN CAKE.
  • LifeOfBrian78
    LifeOfBrian78 Posts: 397 Member
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    It's a little sexist. I never see men being given the third degree, having to defend their choice to skip cake 5 times and then being lectured about why they should eat it.


    You've never met my step-mother or my ex-MIL.
  • dubird
    dubird Posts: 1,849 Member
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    It's a little sexist. I never see men being given the third degree, having to defend their choice to skip cake 5 times and then being lectured about why they should eat it.


    You've never met my step-mother or my ex-MIL.


    Or my mother-in-law. Don't get me wrong, I love her to death, but she's Jewish and southern. You do the math. XD
  • sanndandi
    sanndandi Posts: 300 Member
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    A complete stranger at the deli counter told me not to worry about calories so much because I was already so thin. You should just eat it. This was after I asked the counter person if I could look at the nutrition label on the back of a block of cheese. My reply was: I'm only this weight BECAUSE I look at the labels. Thanks for caring though. I smiled. she smiled back...rather uncomfortably though.
    Another time I refused a piece of cake at a party and the host rolled their eyes and said in front of everyone "It's just a piece of cake, enjoy yourself" My answer was "I'm going to enjoy myself when I eat that piece of cheesecake over there. I don't like yellow cake, but thanks". Everyone looked back at him like YEAH YOU JERK! She wants cheesecake!! LOL.
  • jessilee119
    jessilee119 Posts: 444 Member
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    Once you reach the "vanity pounds" stage, how do you all deal with haters?

    I acknowledge that I am at a "healthy" weight by contemporary american standards - I range between 22 and 25% bodyfat at my lowest/highest. I hope to break into the 20% range someday, for a toned/athletic look. My husband is really supportive of the fat-loss thing. To the point of saying "are you sure?" before I eat something, or giving me the corresponding look. It's ok, he thinks he is being helpful.

    EVERYONE else in my life consistently reacts the opposite way. If I say no thank you to a cupcakes/donuts/candy, they tell me I am thin enough and to EAT EAT EAT. This is hard because I actually really want said dessert - I have a ridiculous sweet tooth- so having it shoved in my face multiple times typically results in me eating it. Then being angry, then having an existential crisis and eating more.

    What I am looking for is some tips for how to convince people to leave me alone and eat vegetables if I want- or the cake if it looks exceptionally good.
    Tips on sweet-tooth mitigation would also be appreciated! It would be a lot easier to be strong when faced with cupcakes if I didn't love sugar so much.

    I don't have as many tips because I'm still obese so it's easier for me to tell people no, but I had to reply because I still feel where you're coming from. My husband is like yours; he'll ask me if I'm sure or say I don't need it, but he won't stop me if I really want it. There was one time I asked him to split a slice of cheesecake with me so I wouldn't eat the whole thing. He started shoveling it in his mouth so I was able to get a couple of bites but he ended up with a bigger half. In my efforts to lose weight I probably made him gain a pound or two :laugh:

    My mom is one where she'll ask and if I say no she'll ask if I'm sure. If I stick to it she'll back off and say okay and that I'm doing really good, but sometimes I don't say no. I have a terrible sweet tooth too so that's something I need to work on.

    For me, it really boils down to me telling myself no. I'm really trying to listen to by body and me figuring out if I'm actually hungry or not. I know there will be times I'll still eat something even if I'm not hungry but I want to greatly reduce those times. As long as it fits in my calories for the day I don't fret too much. Maybe you can tell them that you're not hungry or that you don't want it and stick to it. Maybe you need to come out and tell them that if you say no once don't ask again (you might be able to find a way to say it that isn't so blunt, but you might have to be blunt if it continues).

    What I hate is when someone asks me if I'm on a diet just because I'm eating a salad. I don't like the word diet anymore. I understand that what I eat is part of my diet but it seems that word has so many negative things associated with it because of the extremes people go through to lose weight. If I'm eating a salad for lunch it's because I made myself a salad (I like them, they're rather tasty and a great way to get multiple veggies in one meal), not because I'm on a "diet". Yes I'm losing weight, but in a sustainable way.

    Just tell people to respect your authoritah!!
  • AmigaMaria001
    AmigaMaria001 Posts: 489 Member
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    When people/mostly family - insist that I take dessert or extra food after I've said, "No thank you once" I politely take it, say thank you and mess it up completely with my fork so that NO ONE would want to eat it and it goes to waste. They usually don't insist a second time. LOL
  • jrline
    jrline Posts: 2,353 Member
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    My believe is I eat stuff I enjoy including Pulled Pork, Bacon, Bourbon etc. It is just about eating anything in moderation. I was the winner of the weightloss challenge at my work. So people sometimes give me weird looks when I eat ice cream or cake. I sometimes get tired explaining that you have to eat the appropriate calories for your workouts. I average 25-45 miles a week jogging.

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  • elleloch
    elleloch Posts: 739 Member
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    Tell them you don't give a rip what they eat, so they shouldn't care about what you eat.

    People need to mind their own business, jeez!
  • salembambi
    salembambi Posts: 5,592 Member
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    im at the vanity stage I think ...everyone always tells me "oh you dont need to lose anymore" and thats fine

    does not bother me .. just keep doing what im doing
  • SoLongAndThanksForAllTheFish
    SoLongAndThanksForAllTheFish Posts: 831 Member
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    It's a little sexist. I never see men being given the third degree, having to defend their choice to skip cake 5 times and then being lectured about why they should eat it.


    You've never met my step-mother or my ex-MIL.

    Guys get it from their family just like girls, maybe occasionally worse. My family sometimes does this strange thing trying to get me to eat more because I've "lost enough weight" (even though I'm never one to completely reject food or eat just a tiny portion), and then later I'll get comments from the same people about how Im "too big because you eat too much". Oh, and I shouldnt "lift so much you might hurt yourself". I learned not to let them know how much I can lift unless I want similar "advice".

    Typically nobody is being a "hater", but just speaking from their own internal biases and thoughts, usually about themselves. In fact mostly they think they are being complimentary.

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