Is this weird?

stillhere1981

So we had lunch brought into the office (hoagies, pasta salad and chips) for a lunch interview, but I didn't want to eat that. I wanted something which I could accurately count the calories and I don't really like hoagies (don't tell anyone else in Philly that though). I heated up my Healthy Choice Cafe Steamer lunch and brought that to the meeting. My boss gave me a really weird look and asked me how it was. Apparently he also said something about it to another person. Who cares what I eat? Am I missing something?

JustSomeEm

No, its not weird. Its rude of others to worry about what YOU are putting into your body. Ignore them.

Commander_Keen

typically, when lunch is paid for, everybody doesn't eat breakfast and they bring somebody ( due to free food)
He didn't expect somebody would bring their own food, when something is free.

stillhere1981

typically, when lunch is paid for, everybody doesn't eat breakfast and they bring somebody ( due to free food)
He didn't expect somebody would bring their own food, when something is free.

I get that, but I'm not in college anymore. I don't need free pizza to get me to an event. I honestly wouldn't care about something like this if it wasn't my boss who seemed to have a problem with it.

stillhere1981

Oh and the HR lady gave me a weird look too. I think people just get annoyed when you aren't gorging yourself on crappy food. It makes them feel bad about what they are eating.

tulips_and_tea

Oh and the HR lady gave me a weird look too. I think people just get annoyed when you aren't gorging yourself on crappy food. It makes them feel bad about what they are eating.

Agreed, however, since it was your boss I probably would've mentioned briefly that your intent was not to offend anyone (again, only because this was a business setting with your boss involved) and that you preferred to eat what you brought. That's it. Period. As far as the HR lady? Who knows, but overall, yes, they were both rude.

spade117

Boss asked how was your meal...I don't see how that was rude.

As far as weird looks are concerned, you could be interpreting that wrong...I don't really know. A lot of women have a tendancy to think like that.

stillhere1981

Boss asked how was your meal...I don't see how that was rude.

As far as weird looks are concerned, you could be interpreting that wrong...I don't really know. A lot of women have a tendancy to think like that.

I don't think it was rude, just a little strange. I think you may be right about me being oversensitive. I'm fairly new to the job and I think I'm still a bit uncomfortable. People are still getting used to my quirks.

KristinKory

So how was your Healthy Choice Cafe Steamer?

Honestly, there are times when I get weird looks from my own family when I choose to eat something else because I want to eat healthier.

tulips_and_tea

Well, then, since you're new I have to say good for you for being yourself and not giving in just to fit in. Yes, they WILL get used to you, so just stick with it. Better to do it now than to try to change later.

seltzermint555

Honestly...I think it sounds like your boss and/or the HR lady interpreted it as rude and/or not being a team player...insane? yes. But I think that's the most likely reason it became an issue. And honestly I bet they talked about it a lot like it was some huge effing deal...because in a lot of corporations that is how it is. Think of the movie Office Space, if you've seen it. They could have some real weirdos working there and damaging the company, but they would be super concerned with the TPS report and what the new girl ate instead of the provided lunch.

Just shrug it off. You will either fit into their "culture" or not...hehe

sljohnson1207

I understand this, esp. since you are newer there.

If you get warning ahead of time that a meal will be served, just inform the person ordering that you would like to opt out, and that you'll bring your own meal.

I have to do this because of a health issue, and mostly people are used to it now, but the executive assistant that does the ordering, appreciates me reminding her not to order for me. It saves the company money, and I just eat before/after/during my own food.

Maybe in my case, it's easier on my boss/colleagues because they know it's due to a medical necessity. I can eat plain potato chips, glazed donuts, and some white cakes, but if they order sandwiches or pastas w/sauce and some bags of chips, I sometimes will get a handful and eat those so as not to come across like I'm "better than", which some folks may thing. More than likely, it's not what those folks were thinking, and it's possible they were actually wishing they had what you had.

I also have to order for meetings sometimes, and I always ask the group to tell me if there are allergies or medical dietary restrictions. I do that because I'm keenly aware that those issues exist.

Being honest and open with people is usually the best way to increase trust and even comradery (sp?) with colleagues. Just tell them you are trying to lose weight/make better food choices/eat less sodium/counting calories/following a plan from your nutritionist/have diabetes or PCOS/take steroids (whatever the case is), and tell them that bringing your own meal ensures you success. Nobody in their right mind would argue with that logic. And if they did, well.....not in their right mind.

Try not to let it bother you. I know, easier said than done.

lemurcat12

Boss asked how was your meal...I don't see how that was rude.

As far as weird looks are concerned, you could be interpreting that wrong...I don't really know.

This. I wouldn't assume too much.

Also, it's unlikely to really matter. I work with someone (a guy, definitely not dieting), who is insanely picky and kind of proud of it. When we have a workplace lunch he will almost always bring his own thing (sometimes fast food, sometimes a sandwich from home) because he can't stand anything on a sandwich or veggies touching his food or all sorts of weird things. (I know this because he's gone into it before.) So when he brings his own thing you may well get a little eye rolling or snark, but it's not really serious and no one actually cares. It's more something he gets teased about. He may not like it, although I suspect he's fine with it, and really it's no one's business what he eats and I am being overly judgy about it in this post even, but oh well.

I do know that when I want to do something like eat a provided sandwich without the bread or some such I try to be subtle about doing it, but others aren't and really the difference just seems to be whether they want to talk about their particular dietary thing or not (I generally do not).

tabicatinthehat

People get REALLY offended when someone refused food they offer. Humans consider food to be a gift and it also represents really happy times so they think people are *kitten* for refusing anything. Doesn't mean it's ok for them to act that way, but that's why they do.

stillhere1981

So how was your Healthy Choice Cafe Steamer?

Honestly, there are times when I get weird looks from my own family when I choose to eat something else because I want to eat healthier.

It was actually pretty good. I had the pumpkin squash ravioli. I know that prepared/microwave meals aren't ideal, but I try to eat vegetarian (Amy's/Evol/Healthy Choice) ones that are less that 300 calories with lower sodium. It's easier for me and keeps me from going out to lunch all the time.

My boss has been fine since lunch, so I don't think it's an issue. He recently lost a bunch of weight, but he doesn't believe in calorie counting (to each their own I guess). I just thought he would be more understanding. Oh well.

KristinKory

So how was your Healthy Choice Cafe Steamer?

Honestly, there are times when I get weird looks from my own family when I choose to eat something else because I want to eat healthier.

It was actually pretty good. I had the pumpkin squash ravioli. I know that prepared/microwave meals aren't ideal, but I try to eat vegetarian (Amy's/Evol/Healthy Choice) ones that are less that 300 calories with lower sodium. It's easier for me and keeps me from going out to lunch all the time.

My boss has been fine since lunch, so I don't think it's an issue. He recently lost a bunch of weight, but he doesn't believe in calorie counting (to each their own I guess). I just thought he would be more understanding. Oh well.

I do eat microwave meals too sometimes, when I need something quick and easy. They are just convenient, low calorie (I usually eat WW Smart Ones) and taste pretty good for a frozen meal.

Keep up the good work and good for you, for sticking to your plan!

kgeyser

Oh and the HR lady gave me a weird look too. I think people just get annoyed when you aren't gorging yourself on crappy food. It makes them feel bad about what they are eating.

Your choice not to eat hoagies and pasta salad doesn't make them crappy food, nor does you not eating them make anyone else feel bad. But you giving the impression to others that you feel this way might explain the weird looks.

They didn't order lunch so they could gorge themselves on crappy food, they ordered lunch as a nice gesture in hopes of improving morale and sense of community within the office. That's what humans do - we share food. Eating something else sends the message of being an outsider, whether intentional or not, especially when someone else is paying for it. Imagine you go to the trouble to plan an event that will include everyone, and one of your friends shows up and refuses to eat anything you've gone to the trouble to make/purchase and spends the whole night eating crackers out of her purse. You'd probably shoot her a weird look or two and possibly be a little insulted, especially when there isn't anything wrong with the food you're offering.

Next time talk to the person ordering and find something on the menu that works for you. If you try to eat vegetarian or plant-based, then tell the person that and order a salad or veggie sub for yourself. It's really not a big deal.

stillhere1981

Oh and the HR lady gave me a weird look too. I think people just get annoyed when you aren't gorging yourself on crappy food. It makes them feel bad about what they are eating.

Your choice not to eat hoagies and pasta salad doesn't make them crappy food, nor does you not eating them make anyone else feel bad. But you giving the impression to others that you feel this way might explain the weird looks.

They didn't order lunch so they could gorge themselves on crappy food, they ordered lunch as a nice gesture in hopes of improving morale and sense of community within the office. That's what humans do - we share food. Eating something else sends the message of being an outsider, whether intentional or not, especially when someone else is paying for it. Imagine you go to the trouble to plan an event that will include everyone, and one of your friends shows up and refuses to eat anything you've gone to the trouble to make/purchase and spends the whole night eating crackers out of her purse. You'd probably shoot her a weird look or two and possibly be a little insulted, especially when there isn't anything wrong with the food you're offering.

Next time talk to the person ordering and find something on the menu that works for you. If you try to eat vegetarian or plant-based, then tell the person that and order a salad or veggie sub for yourself. It's really not a big deal.

I think you're right about the hoagies and pasta salad not being inherently bad foods and are fine in moderation. My concern was mostly that they are difficult to account for in my food diary. However, I disagree with your statement that people don't feel bad when you watch what you eat. I never ever criticize someone's food choices to them or behind their back. That's just rude, but I am constantly hearing comments when refrain from eating certain foods or eating small portions. These are comments such as "Oh, it's the weekend!" or "You're on vacation!." There 's a lot of peer pressure to eat "badly" when everyone else is. Maybe it's the outsider thing or guilt. I don't know the source, but you can't deny at least the peer pressure is there.

stillhere1981

I also finding myself having to explain what I am eating because I'm not obese and people that are heavier than me don't see why I am dieting.

erialcelyob

I get that so often at training days or at lunch at my work. They all order mcdonalds and have biccies and fizzy juice and are the sort of people that heavy drink every week. That's just not me but its a job, at the end of the day I'm happier knowing I'm making the good choice for myself

Unknown

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212019156

Kind of related. I hate it when my office holds potluck events. Can't stand pot lucks and feeling obligated to participate. They just just kind of gross me out.

Liftng4Lis

My boss gave me a really weird look and asked me how it was. Apparently he also said something about it to another person. Who cares what I eat? Am I missing something?

And the correct response is "Yes, and healthy, thank you!". Oh, and you have to let your eyes slowly drop to his waist and back up again.

David_AUS

Yes.

<--- In context of the [ OP ] this answer is so correct - Yes to "Is this weird?" and Yes to "Who cares what I eat?" and to "Am I missing something?"

smantha32

Being honest and open with people is usually the best way to increase trust and even comradery (sp?) with colleagues. Just tell them you are trying to lose weight/make better food choices/eat less sodium/counting calories/following a plan from your nutritionist/have diabetes or PCOS/take steroids (whatever the case is), and tell them that bringing your own meal ensures you success. Nobody in their right mind would argue with that logic. And if they did, well.....not in their right mind.

Disagree with this part. If you mention you're trying to lose weight you open yourself up to all sorts of unsolicited comments about your body, your weight and how you're "doing it wrong". The food pushers also come out in force and try to guilt trip you into eating things because "you need to live a little" and "just one won't hurt you".

It's better to just say you have a medical issue and that's why you eat the way you do.. don't mention weight loss at all.

stillhere1981

Being honest and open with people is usually the best way to increase trust and even comradery (sp?) with colleagues. Just tell them you are trying to lose weight/make better food choices/eat less sodium/counting calories/following a plan from your nutritionist/have diabetes or PCOS/take steroids (whatever the case is), and tell them that bringing your own meal ensures you success. Nobody in their right mind would argue with that logic. And if they did, well.....not in their right mind.

Disagree with this part. If you mention you're trying to lose weight you open yourself up to all sorts of unsolicited comments about your body, your weight and how you're "doing it wrong". The food pushers also come out in force and try to guilt trip you into eating things because "you need to live a little" and "just one won't hurt you".

It's better to just say you have a medical issue and that's why you eat the way you do.. don't mention weight loss at all.

I definitely think it was a mistake to tell people that I'm trying to lose weight. However I do have health issues that I really don't want to talk about, so I'm kind of stuck. I'm going to try to just fly under the radar from now on and in the future when someone orders lunch, I'll just ask them to order me a salad.

smantha32

Being honest and open with people is usually the best way to increase trust and even comradery (sp?) with colleagues. Just tell them you are trying to lose weight/make better food choices/eat less sodium/counting calories/following a plan from your nutritionist/have diabetes or PCOS/take steroids (whatever the case is), and tell them that bringing your own meal ensures you success. Nobody in their right mind would argue with that logic. And if they did, well.....not in their right mind.

Disagree with this part. If you mention you're trying to lose weight you open yourself up to all sorts of unsolicited comments about your body, your weight and how you're "doing it wrong". The food pushers also come out in force and try to guilt trip you into eating things because "you need to live a little" and "just one won't hurt you".

It's better to just say you have a medical issue and that's why you eat the way you do.. don't mention weight loss at all.

I definitely think it was a mistake to tell people that I'm trying to lose weight. However I do have health issues that I really don't want to talk about, so I'm kind of stuck. I'm going to try to just fly under the radar from now on and in the future when someone orders lunch, I'll just ask them to order me a salad.

:drinker: :flowerforyou:

JoRocka

People bond over food. That's a reality.
Keep in mind to- if they counted you in as someone to eat- and you didn't eat- that's a waste of money and food- you need to tell them ahead of time if you want something or don't want something off the menu and you brought your own or not.

I made it clear when I got to my new office that I had food dealios and to please not be offended if I don't join in with them. They check with me before ordering to see if I do want something but otherwise they exclude me.

it's not that hard to find a working balance.

PRMinx

Oh and the HR lady gave me a weird look too. I think people just get annoyed when you aren't gorging yourself on crappy food. It makes them feel bad about what they are eating.

Your choice not to eat hoagies and pasta salad doesn't make them crappy food, nor does you not eating them make anyone else feel bad. But you giving the impression to others that you feel this way might explain the weird looks.

They didn't order lunch so they could gorge themselves on crappy food, they ordered lunch as a nice gesture in hopes of improving morale and sense of community within the office. That's what humans do - we share food. Eating something else sends the message of being an outsider, whether intentional or not, especially when someone else is paying for it. Imagine you go to the trouble to plan an event that will include everyone, and one of your friends shows up and refuses to eat anything you've gone to the trouble to make/purchase and spends the whole night eating crackers out of her purse. You'd probably shoot her a weird look or two and possibly be a little insulted, especially when there isn't anything wrong with the food you're offering.

Next time talk to the person ordering and find something on the menu that works for you. If you try to eat vegetarian or plant-based, then tell the person that and order a salad or veggie sub for yourself. It's really not a big deal.

So much this...

I think it's really presumptuous and kind of rude to assume that people are so insecure they would feel bad for eating a hoagie in your presence while you have a Cafe Steamer.

Companies by food to bring teams together over a meal. When you position yourself as an outsider, you draw attention to yourself. It may have been uncomfortable for a moment, but it's really not a big deal. And, as someone else said, if it is a big deal then go work in a different culture.

runneraly

Perhaps your boss and the lady from HR thought that they planned a meal everyone would enjoy? I wouldn't take it too hard or seriously. If anything as another poster said just let your boss know that you hope they weren't offended and perhaps you can offer a better/healthier solution for the next work lunch.

SunofaBeach14

We get served crappy pizza quite often. If it was good I'd have a slice, but it's hard to fit my macros right now. To avoid looking like I care that much, I simply eat at my desk and don't eat at those meetings. I generally avoid any talk about my diet and training at work because people choose to take offense to some strange things. I really don't care what other people eat and only discuss those things here.