Is this weird?

212019156

Kind of related. I hate it when my office holds potluck events. Can't stand pot lucks and feeling obligated to participate. They just just kind of gross me out.

Liftng4Lis

My boss gave me a really weird look and asked me how it was. Apparently he also said something about it to another person. Who cares what I eat? Am I missing something?

And the correct response is "Yes, and healthy, thank you!". Oh, and you have to let your eyes slowly drop to his waist and back up again.

David_AUS

Yes.

<--- In context of the [ OP ] this answer is so correct - Yes to "Is this weird?" and Yes to "Who cares what I eat?" and to "Am I missing something?"

smantha32

Being honest and open with people is usually the best way to increase trust and even comradery (sp?) with colleagues. Just tell them you are trying to lose weight/make better food choices/eat less sodium/counting calories/following a plan from your nutritionist/have diabetes or PCOS/take steroids (whatever the case is), and tell them that bringing your own meal ensures you success. Nobody in their right mind would argue with that logic. And if they did, well.....not in their right mind.

Disagree with this part. If you mention you're trying to lose weight you open yourself up to all sorts of unsolicited comments about your body, your weight and how you're "doing it wrong". The food pushers also come out in force and try to guilt trip you into eating things because "you need to live a little" and "just one won't hurt you".

It's better to just say you have a medical issue and that's why you eat the way you do.. don't mention weight loss at all.

stillhere1981

Being honest and open with people is usually the best way to increase trust and even comradery (sp?) with colleagues. Just tell them you are trying to lose weight/make better food choices/eat less sodium/counting calories/following a plan from your nutritionist/have diabetes or PCOS/take steroids (whatever the case is), and tell them that bringing your own meal ensures you success. Nobody in their right mind would argue with that logic. And if they did, well.....not in their right mind.

Disagree with this part. If you mention you're trying to lose weight you open yourself up to all sorts of unsolicited comments about your body, your weight and how you're "doing it wrong". The food pushers also come out in force and try to guilt trip you into eating things because "you need to live a little" and "just one won't hurt you".

It's better to just say you have a medical issue and that's why you eat the way you do.. don't mention weight loss at all.

I definitely think it was a mistake to tell people that I'm trying to lose weight. However I do have health issues that I really don't want to talk about, so I'm kind of stuck. I'm going to try to just fly under the radar from now on and in the future when someone orders lunch, I'll just ask them to order me a salad.

smantha32

Being honest and open with people is usually the best way to increase trust and even comradery (sp?) with colleagues. Just tell them you are trying to lose weight/make better food choices/eat less sodium/counting calories/following a plan from your nutritionist/have diabetes or PCOS/take steroids (whatever the case is), and tell them that bringing your own meal ensures you success. Nobody in their right mind would argue with that logic. And if they did, well.....not in their right mind.

Disagree with this part. If you mention you're trying to lose weight you open yourself up to all sorts of unsolicited comments about your body, your weight and how you're "doing it wrong". The food pushers also come out in force and try to guilt trip you into eating things because "you need to live a little" and "just one won't hurt you".

It's better to just say you have a medical issue and that's why you eat the way you do.. don't mention weight loss at all.

I definitely think it was a mistake to tell people that I'm trying to lose weight. However I do have health issues that I really don't want to talk about, so I'm kind of stuck. I'm going to try to just fly under the radar from now on and in the future when someone orders lunch, I'll just ask them to order me a salad.

:drinker: :flowerforyou:

JoRocka

People bond over food. That's a reality.
Keep in mind to- if they counted you in as someone to eat- and you didn't eat- that's a waste of money and food- you need to tell them ahead of time if you want something or don't want something off the menu and you brought your own or not.

I made it clear when I got to my new office that I had food dealios and to please not be offended if I don't join in with them. They check with me before ordering to see if I do want something but otherwise they exclude me.

it's not that hard to find a working balance.

PRMinx

Oh and the HR lady gave me a weird look too. I think people just get annoyed when you aren't gorging yourself on crappy food. It makes them feel bad about what they are eating.

Your choice not to eat hoagies and pasta salad doesn't make them crappy food, nor does you not eating them make anyone else feel bad. But you giving the impression to others that you feel this way might explain the weird looks.

They didn't order lunch so they could gorge themselves on crappy food, they ordered lunch as a nice gesture in hopes of improving morale and sense of community within the office. That's what humans do - we share food. Eating something else sends the message of being an outsider, whether intentional or not, especially when someone else is paying for it. Imagine you go to the trouble to plan an event that will include everyone, and one of your friends shows up and refuses to eat anything you've gone to the trouble to make/purchase and spends the whole night eating crackers out of her purse. You'd probably shoot her a weird look or two and possibly be a little insulted, especially when there isn't anything wrong with the food you're offering.

Next time talk to the person ordering and find something on the menu that works for you. If you try to eat vegetarian or plant-based, then tell the person that and order a salad or veggie sub for yourself. It's really not a big deal.

So much this...

I think it's really presumptuous and kind of rude to assume that people are so insecure they would feel bad for eating a hoagie in your presence while you have a Cafe Steamer.

Companies by food to bring teams together over a meal. When you position yourself as an outsider, you draw attention to yourself. It may have been uncomfortable for a moment, but it's really not a big deal. And, as someone else said, if it is a big deal then go work in a different culture.

runneraly

Perhaps your boss and the lady from HR thought that they planned a meal everyone would enjoy? I wouldn't take it too hard or seriously. If anything as another poster said just let your boss know that you hope they weren't offended and perhaps you can offer a better/healthier solution for the next work lunch.

SunofaBeach14

We get served crappy pizza quite often. If it was good I'd have a slice, but it's hard to fit my macros right now. To avoid looking like I care that much, I simply eat at my desk and don't eat at those meetings. I generally avoid any talk about my diet and training at work because people choose to take offense to some strange things. I really don't care what other people eat and only discuss those things here.

stillhere1981

I think it's really presumptuous and kind of rude to assume that people are so insecure they would feel bad for eating a hoagie in your presence while you have a Cafe Steamer.

Maybe they didn't in this case. I'm not a mind reader. But then how would you explain - in general - the peer pressure to eat "junk" food? I would wager insecurity plays into that.

emdeesea

That's happened to me too and I'm just overly honest with everyone. "I'm really trying to count calories and, as much as I'd love to have it, I can't count that sub."

stillhere1981

That's happened to me too and I'm just overly honest with everyone. "I'm really trying to count calories and, as much as I'd love to have it, I can't count that sub."

That's basically what I said to my boss afterward and he was fine. This was really a non-issue. I was just feeling insecure. Live and learn!

PRMinx

I think it's really presumptuous and kind of rude to assume that people are so insecure they would feel bad for eating a hoagie in your presence while you have a Cafe Steamer.

Maybe they didn't in this case. I'm not a mind reader. But then how would you explain - in general - the peer pressure to eat "junk" food? I would wager insecurity plays into that.

Meh, maybe sometimes. But I think it's rude to armchair quarterback a psychological assessment on people, especially colleagues who you don't really know all that well. Some people, like many of us here, don't view food as "junk food" and are capable of eating a balanced diet. There's nothing inherently bad about a sub. Half a turkey sub and a side salad fits in great with my macros. A slice of pizza will, too.

SunofaBeach14

I think it's really presumptuous and kind of rude to assume that people are so insecure they would feel bad for eating a hoagie in your presence while you have a Cafe Steamer.

Maybe they didn't in this case. I'm not a mind reader. But then how would you explain - in general - the peer pressure to eat "junk" food? I would wager insecurity plays into that.

Meh, maybe sometimes. But I think it's rude to armchair quarterback a psychological assessment on people, especially colleagues who you don't really know all that well. Some people, like many of us here, don't view food as "junk food" and are capable of eating a balanced diet. There's nothing inherently bad about a sub. Half a turkey sub and a side salad fits in great with my macros. A slice of pizza will, too.

I can't get a sub to fit my macros, at least unless I order double meat and a shorter sammich, and even then it can be difficult. That said, I'm 100% with you on armchair psychology. It's best to just avoid the conversation altogether.

devil_in_a_blue_dress

Have you eaten free lunches before?

stillhere1981

I think it's really presumptuous and kind of rude to assume that people are so insecure they would feel bad for eating a hoagie in your presence while you have a Cafe Steamer.

Maybe they didn't in this case. I'm not a mind reader. But then how would you explain - in general - the peer pressure to eat "junk" food? I would wager insecurity plays into that.

Meh, maybe sometimes. But I think it's rude to armchair quarterback a psychological assessment on people, especially colleagues who you don't really know all that well. Some people, like many of us here, don't view food as "junk food" and are capable of eating a balanced diet. There's nothing inherently bad about a sub. Half a turkey sub and a side salad fits in great with my macros. A slice of pizza will, too.

You keep throwing the "rude" word in there. How is it rude even if I keep my thoughts to myself? I basically agreed with every other statement you made throughout the posts in this thread.

PRMinx

I think it's really presumptuous and kind of rude to assume that people are so insecure they would feel bad for eating a hoagie in your presence while you have a Cafe Steamer.

Maybe they didn't in this case. I'm not a mind reader. But then how would you explain - in general - the peer pressure to eat "junk" food? I would wager insecurity plays into that.

Meh, maybe sometimes. But I think it's rude to armchair quarterback a psychological assessment on people, especially colleagues who you don't really know all that well. Some people, like many of us here, don't view food as "junk food" and are capable of eating a balanced diet. There's nothing inherently bad about a sub. Half a turkey sub and a side salad fits in great with my macros. A slice of pizza will, too.

I can't get a sub to fit my macros, at least unless I order double meat and a shorter sammich, and even then it can be difficult. That said, I'm 100% with you on armchair psychology. It's best to just avoid the conversation altogether.

You must need a lot of protein...and, I hear you. That's why I love Wawa so much! I can double the meat on a shorti roll for more protein, less carbs. If I had a sub for lunch, breakfast and dinner would focus more heavily around protein.

Agreed on the conversation. I don't talk weight loss, fitness or health at work because it's just never a good idea. I don't even discuss it with my friends because I don't have the energy to argue about fad diets and bogus information.

emdeesea

That's happened to me too and I'm just overly honest with everyone. "I'm really trying to count calories and, as much as I'd love to have it, I can't count that sub."

That's basically what I said to my boss afterward and he was fine. This was really a non-issue. I was just feeling insecure. Live and learn!

Yeah most people don't really care. Some of my co-workers rib me occasionally for being "SOO GOOD" for not eating cookies and stuff but it's just good natured ribbing. I don't mind.

And those who do care - **** them. It's their problem. But I haven't run into that myself.

Cameron_1969

Yep. .you're definitely fired. . .You can tell you're going to get fired b/c your boss asked how your lunch was AND the HR lady looked at you. .

Update that resume. .