Can we talk about S-E-X? eek!

Bry_Fitness70

Miss_1999 wrote: »

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I realize this isn't a popular opinion, but someone has to be honest ...

You're over-thinking this. If you go into it enthusiastically, confidently, and possibly creatively your husband is going to think only one thing: Yippeee, I get sex!

I wouldn't. Sex is easy. It can be had at any time with any number of different partners. Not all men are dying to have sex with anyone at any time. Some of us choose our partners based on a number of (potentially stringent) criteria, including fitness.

Personally, I have no interest in having sex with someone overweight, whether she's my wife or not. I'm a fit guy. I date fit women because I respect fit women, and like having sex with fit women.

Similarly, I wouldn't expect my gf to want to have sex with me if I became overweight. I owe it to her to be as desirable as I can be, and to remain as close to the person I was when she started dating me as possible.

There are times when slippage is forgivable: preganancy, sickness, accidents. "I chose nightly pizza instead of remaining desirable to you" is not one of those times.

Can I make a suggestion to you. Don't ever get married. There's this part in those vows that you take "For better or for worse", and honestly, if you're going to base a relationship on something *that* shallow, you're not really going to have anything for very long, anyway. There are very few who are fortunate to be drop dead gorgeous until they're in their golden years, and you'd sure better hope you've got something to talk about when Mr. Happy can't get happy anymore. God forbid one of you has a terrible accident or injury where you're unable to walk, or exercise, and the other has to step up and become a strong supporter, possibly a care giver. "For better or worse", it means something, you're in it for the long haul, not just for desirability, but because you love the person, regardless.

I look at it this way - my physical condition, at the time when I entered into a relationship with my future wife is the baseline. Her minimum expectation should be that I at least maintain that condition, putting it in the context of my age and life events beyond my control like medical conditions

"For better or for worse" should not mean that I have a free pass to get lazy, quit exercising, and start overeating, because you are now "stuck with me". Too many people see relationships/marriages as an excuse to quit trying. That cute, thin, long haired girl you met in her 20's doesn't give a *kitten* after 10 years and quits wearing makeup, gains weight, and cuts her hair - is that fair to the spouse, isn't that deceptive advertising to some extent?