help me inspire my mom to lose weight

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  • Sweet13_Princess
    Sweet13_Princess Posts: 1,207 Member
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    Everyone's advice here was helpful for me as well. My mom is obese and often pushes me to keep the weight off, making comments about how my clothes fit, the food I eat in front of her, and by trying to keep tabs on my weight/gym habits. I'm an adult, so I find this behavior to be a bit insulting. She says she only does it so that I don't "get fat like she is."

    The point I'm making here is that now that I've started to take weight off, mom makes comments that she'd like to do the same. It's really sad to go shopping for her. She's in a size 22 and can never find anything pretty. We went shopping for a mother of the bride outfit and she only had two choices which looked absolutely hideous on her. I could tell she felt bad.

    I think her weight issues stems back to the fact that mom had an exploratory surgury in her early twenties. Without it, she would have died because her intestines were stuck together and she would have contracted gangerene eventually. It was done in the 80s and she has a huge scar that looks like a nightcrawler on her belly. I think she let herself get so large because she has a poor self-image of herself. We've talked on and off about how reconstructive surgury could be done on the scar, but she usually says she's old and fat so it doesn't matter... So sad!:-(

    Yet, she doesn't do anything to help herself. She doesn't exercise or even walk because she's: too tired, has a headache, her heel bothers her, and mariad of other excuses. Not only that, but when she goes grocery shopping she buys healthy things like salads for dad, but a variety of junk food (pies, cake, cookies, you name it) for herself because "it's on sale." It drives me nuts that she says she wants to change/lose weight, but she does nothing about it!!

    I totally sympathize and have yet to find a way to overcome my own mother's attitude. I've just given up because I guess she needs to make that decision, I can't make her do it if she doesn't want to. It would just be nice to have my mother around for a long time... but who knows how her health will go with the way things are now?*worried*

    Shannon
  • FireRox21
    FireRox21 Posts: 424 Member
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    Yet, she doesn't do anything to help herself. She doesn't exercise or even walk because she's: too tired, has a headache, her heel bothers her, and mariad of other excuses. Not only that, but when she goes grocery shopping she buys healthy things like salads for dad, but a variety of junk food (pies, cake, cookies, you name it) for herself because "it's on sale." It drives me nuts that she says she wants to change/lose weight, but she does nothing about it!!

    Are you sure we don't have the same mom?

    My mom does the same thing when she shops. She buys salads, veggies, etc for her lunch at work (which she never eats and eventually wastes because they spoil) and ALWAYS comes home with cakes, cookies, chips, etc. because "they were on sale" or my personal favorite excuse "I had a coupon".
  • blumuse
    blumuse Posts: 52 Member
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    I'd encourage them to get on MFP and read the message boards. If they see other women their own age doing it, that may give them ecouragement.
  • mountainmare
    mountainmare Posts: 294 Member
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    I'm 61 and finished the 30 day shred in 30 days!! I've always been active, but I will say that on my 60th birthday I was in the best shape ever and feel stronger than I did in my 40s.
    For me--I want to live active. I feel so sad when we do things with friends who can't walk far and have trouble getting out of a chair.
    Its not so much about the weight, of course it is about health---but even more so about retaining the ability to live independantly for a long time.
    Encourage your mom to get out more, things that involve walking, even if that means going shoppingwhere you have to walk a bit.
    I know that after a certain age the idea of "skinny jeans" as a goal just seems silly, and with the normal aches and pains people who brag about how sore they are after a workout seems insane to someone who is a bit sore just by being alive...but the goal of retaining your way of life is a great motivator.

    It really really is more about being active. A weight loss plan is fine, but without some exercise--just normal moving about it is useless. We lose tons of muscle as we age unless we do something to keep it.

    For my 60th birthday all I wanted was a Polar HRM. For Christmas I've asked for running shoes (running!!! who would have thought???) and new weights. Five years and 30 pounds ago I never imagined this change. You mom will feel stronger both inside and out and have a completely new outlook on her future.
  • Mirabilis
    Mirabilis Posts: 312 Member
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    Bring them on a "field trip" to look at the Success Stories on this website. There are all sorts of older people having huge successes here.

    The sad part is that until they're prepared to own the process, they're not ready to do it. You can't force it.

    I'm 51 and now in skinny jeans for the first time in my life. AND THEY'RE TOO BIG! That has to count for something!!!
  • Sweet13_Princess
    Sweet13_Princess Posts: 1,207 Member
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    Are you sure we don't have the same mom?

    My mom does the same thing when she shops. She buys salads, veggies, etc for her lunch at work (which she never eats and eventually wastes because they spoil) and ALWAYS comes home with cakes, cookies, chips, etc. because "they were on sale" or my personal favorite excuse "I had a coupon".

    I love this. It doesn't sound like the same mom, doesnt' it?*LOL* My mom is pretty much computer illiterate, so having her navigate MFP would be like teaching a caveman.:-P I guess I can do is support her and hope for the best. My fiance's dad used to be like this too, until his last doctor's visit, when they gave him cholesteral meds and diabetes meds. It shocked him enough to cut back and he's trying to take the weight off.

    Shannon
  • FireRox21
    FireRox21 Posts: 424 Member
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    For Princess, all I can say is hang in there. All of the advice given has been great, but to truly change, they have to want . My sitch is a bit different. My mom is seeing that she has to change because I need her around more than she needs me. My RA is getting to the point that I can't dress myself or brush my teeth by myself. So I need Mom to do it for me. It's sad, but the dead truth and she is beginning to see it. She's dropping hints about hitting the gym and she's making a "small" effort to eat better. Just hang in there. Don't push, just show by example.

    And yeah, my mom works a computer at work all day long, but asking her to navigate the internet is like watching her pilot the Space Shuttle!!!!!
  • downtome
    downtome Posts: 529 Member
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    I got my mom to sign up with MFP but I can't seem to get her to continue using the site! No matter how much I rave about it and the support it offers, she is going to do what she wants. The old saying goes, " You can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink", is a good way to look at it and it's so true. They have to want it, to be interested and excited about it. Just keep on your path and maybe since they see how good your doing, in the fture they might change their tune but nagging won't help at all. Good luck!
  • WhitneyW78
    WhitneyW78 Posts: 186 Member
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    Some proof that "older" people can do it. My mom is 61 years old. She only had about 15 pounds to lose, but has lost that since October. All she has done is exercise and watch her calorie intake. She's even been able to indulge in sweets, etc.

    Age doesn't matter. The desire to work is the only thing holding them back. But, I will say... no one is going to lose weight unless they are in the right frame of mind. I've learned that the hard way!
  • midmomike2
    midmomike2 Posts: 213
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    1rst,congrats on YOUR success! That's awesome! As far as your mom,mother-in-law goes...I agree with many others...They have to want to make the change. I'm an "old guy" (44), and am in the best shape of my life. I am able to outdo physically what I did when I was 19! I am also wearing clothes that are smaller than I wore in high school. I never once thought I was "too old" to do any of this, but rather I AM Going To Do THIS ! Good Luck inspiring , and much continued success to you!
  • priskar
    priskar Posts: 156
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    To be honest, depending on one's age, post menopausal status, disorders such as arthritis/diabetes, whatever you may or may not have done to screw up your metabolism when you were younger, it IS easier to lose weight when you're younger. That said, there's no excuse not to try at any age. Every bit of weight you lose makes you that much healthier, is less of a burden on your joints, cardiovascular system, etc.

    I think what is key is that unless they are truly ready to make a lifestyle commitment (which YOU were) they will not make the effort to change. You can't make changes for someone else, it must come from within. There is no amount of pleading, bargaining, bribing that will bring about true change unless the other person wants to do it. It might result in a temporary attempt and yes, every once in a while it might spur someone to see the changes that they can accomplish in their life but I think this is rare.

    Unless Mom and MIL truly want to change, I think all you can do is be a great example.

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