Question for those using dating sites....

porcelain_doll

I'll admit, after sending messages to two men this past week on the site I am using, and hearing nothing back from either one (yet), I couldn't help but wonder if they had purposely not written back, or if they just hadn't had a chance, or hadn't been on or whatever. But I definitely wouldn't be weird and continue writing to them trying to get an answer. I can take a hint. But I can't help but wonder why.

doublexhelix

if they seem like a sketchy guy, then i usually just ignore them. but if they seem like a decent person, but for whatever reason i am not interested, i will let them know.

MzBug

It never hurts to be nice enough to say thanks for the interest, but not at this time. I did that with a guy, took him months to talk me into going out with him. Our first date he fixed dinner for me....5 years later we are living in a house we own together. Best move I ever made.

mr_ashley

I don't have any experience dating online, but I am curious to know if the people who've done it think it's easier or harder than dating in real time? The reason I ask is, to me, being a dude, it just seems like women put up a pretty big wall around them these days. In a way, I see why they do it: it seems like every guy I know thinks he's JFK Jr and women must just be dying to meet him. So you have all these single guys who think they are God's gift, and a smaller and smaller pool of women they feel are "adequate" for their needs. In the online world, it seems like you'd never get past what someone looks like in a small, pixalated detail.

Hope my question doesn't offend! I don't have any preconceived notions about people who date online, I just don't have any experience and wonder how that world differs from any other!

UltimateLover

Hey,

I just recently started using a dating site. I don't post a picture of me up because I'm the type of person that would rather base a person off personality rather than looks. I get to know someone's personality before I will send them a pic because I'd rather the person not talk to me because of my personality rather than how I look. So far, it has landed me one date and I'm hoping that it'll be more with this person but we'll have to wait and see.

I hope that helps a bit

doublexhelix

I don't have any experience dating online, but I am curious to know if the people who've done it think it's easier or harder than dating in real time? The reason I ask is, to me, being a dude, it just seems like women put up a pretty big wall around them these days. In a way, I see why they do it: it seems like every guy I know thinks he's JFK Jr and women must just be dying to meet him. So you have all these single guys who think they are God's gift, and a smaller and smaller pool of women they feel are "adequate" for their needs. In the online world, it seems like you'd never get past what someone looks like in a small, pixalated detail.

Hope my question doesn't offend! I don't have any preconceived notions about people who date online, I just don't have any experience and wonder how that world differs from any other!

i hate to admit it, but i think it's easier. when you first talk to someone on a dating site, you KNOW they are at interested on some level, where as in real life you have to guess until you feel comfortable bringing it up (which is hard and scary, but i have done it before)

meagalayne

I met my current partner online and couldn't be happier...

Online dating sites are a totally different experience, ashleyrenfroe - they are much, much easier for the initial "hey, i'm intereted" portion, but if you chat or private message for too long (more than a day or two, IMO) meeting in person can be a huge let down. I never chatted more than once or twice before meeting in person, as a general rule, because I didn't want to waste my time with someone I wasn't potentially interested in.

I find that if you are a confident, outgoing person and comfortable having a drink/date with a complete stranger in a safe, public space, it's a really great way to meet all kinds of people you wouldn't otherwise meet. It's just important that you realize you may end up on some really awful dates with socially inept types from time to time. But most of us are normies hahaha

As for the OP - Message back a thanks but no thanks. It's the least you can do to repay the compliment

AdventureVia

I've met tons of cool girls from responding to messages of girls I wasn't interested in dating. I've found that a lot of people on dating sites are there for some of the same reasons I am, we're all kind of just lonely. We might go out for a date or two but if things aren't working I always keep things light and friendly so the gears just stick in friend zone.

I've also had some crazy one night stands from online dating but those too have led to friendships.

I try to always reply because I feel so bad when I don't get a reply back. I'm cool damnit! Don't ignore me! You don't have to love me forever but at least acknowledge my existence!

Unless there is no picture. I don't reply to pictureless profiles. I did it once and it ended up being a gay guy who wanted to give me a bj. Not quite my scene.

I'd love for advice on my profile though! Send me a message on there ladies if you think I'm overdoing anything or using poor grammar or if you're an infp/j in the mid 20's
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/heythejake

doublexhelix

I've met tons of cool girls from responding to messages of girls I wasn't interested in dating. I've found that a lot of people on dating sites are there for some of the same reasons I am, we're all kind of just lonely. We might go out for a date or two but if things aren't working I always keep things light and friendly so the gears just stick in friend zone.

I've also had some crazy one night stands from online dating but those too have led to friendships.

I try to always reply because I feel so bad when I don't get a reply back. I'm cool damnit! Don't ignore me! You don't have to love me forever but at least acknowledge my existence!

Unless there is no picture. I don't reply to pictureless profiles. I did it once and it ended up being a gay guy who wanted to give me a bj. Not quite my scene.

I'd love for advice on my profile though! Send me a message on there ladies if you think I'm overdoing anything or using poor grammar or if you're an infp/j in the mid 20's
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/heythejake

it's nice to see another ENFP
i like your profile for the most part, i feel like i know you as a person after reading it, which is rare to find in a dating profile. you come across as a positive person, which is a very good thing. your pictures are attractive too, i think :P
the only off putting thing is the part where you speak in the third person. it is probably just me, but i've just always find it a little awkward when someone refers to themself in the third person.


if anyone want's to give me advice on mine, here it is http://www.okcupid.com/profile/gypsyxlove

JLeeAlton

I ignored anyone I didn't like or didn't feel there was a match. The only time I did.. I got this long rant and rave and never wanted that again. I too have my future husband on a site (Getting married Apriil 7th). I did go on numerous dates in the time I was on some sites cause I wanted to see how the person was in public and in person. It took 6 months but I found a wonderful man!

Only advice I have is the best experience I had on a site was Match.com. The others, Eharmony, OkCupid, and POF included many sketchy men and those sites just put me off. Not to say someone can not have luck on those ones, just my experiences were bleh.

yanicka

Not the question the OP asked but I got so tired of dating site and of men that wanted to be in my pants even before the first date. I am an intelligent women, with a great carreer and my own business and I am cute damn it. What made them think that I didn't have enought self respect to give them something that special when they don't even know my family name???? I am sure there is decents men out there but the bad ones make me want to stay single.