Would you date someone that has no job

Tanie98
Tanie98 Posts: 675 Member
in Chit-Chat
Hypothetically speaking, lets say you met someone online or in person and then they tell you that their unemployed, Would that be a deal breaker?
«134

Replies

  • no_russian
    no_russian Posts: 893 Member
    It wouldn't be a deal breaker if I liked everything else about this person.
  • _SantaClause
    _SantaClause Posts: 335 Member
    It wouldn't be a deal breaker if I liked everything else about this person.
  • j4nash
    j4nash Posts: 1,719 Member
    it all depends on why they're unemployed
  • lokepa
    lokepa Posts: 204 Member
    Might not be a deal breaker, but it would definitely be the beginning of a conversation...
  • trojan_bb
    trojan_bb Posts: 699 Member
    yes absolutely, I could have a homemade breakfast and dinner cooked for me everyday. Clothes taken to dry cleaner. cupcakes in the oven waiting for me. /dreaming
  • salembambi
    salembambi Posts: 5,585 Member
    i dated someone that was homeless & unemployed once

    that answers that
  • Derpes
    Derpes Posts: 2,033 Member
    hqdefault.jpg
  • sweetcurlz67
    sweetcurlz67 Posts: 1,168 Member
    In addition to what was mentioned above:

    1. Is that person independently wealthy? Ok
    2. Is that person currently working towards becoming gainfully employed? Ok
    3. Is that person a leach? HELLZ NOOOOO!!!!
  • ilfaith
    ilfaith Posts: 16,769 Member
    I think if someone has a long history of gainful employment and finds themselves temporarily "between jobs," it wouldn't be an issue. If the person were chronically unemployed, not motivated to find work, and living in their mother's basement, it would be more of a problem.
  • _Stardust_
    _Stardust_ Posts: 124 Member
    Unless they're independently wealthy, yes. HUGE dealbreaker.

    ETA that I've dated people who were unemployed before. It may seem antiquated, but in my experience it really does something bad to a man who has to depend on a woman for money.
  • George_Baileys_Ghost
    George_Baileys_Ghost Posts: 1,524 Member
    Depends...what's goin on downstairs?
  • ew_david
    ew_david Posts: 3,473 Member
    For me, yes it's a deal breaker. I have enough people to take care of.

    Even if you're loaded and have money coming outta your ears, do SOMETHING.
  • Ump78
    Ump78 Posts: 342 Member
    On the surface, seems like a simple no. But I know a few people that have taken year long sabbatical. So, given circumstances definitely make the difference.
  • Tanie98
    Tanie98 Posts: 675 Member
    For me, yes it's a deal breaker. I have enough people to take care of.

    Even if you're loaded and have money coming outta your ears, do SOMETHING.

    I am like you.I thought I was the only one who found it be an issue. I have tried it one and I had to pay for everything since they had no reliable income
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 18,207 Member
    Unemployed, actively looking, with prospects of getting a job in the short term? Yeah, probably.

    Willfully and ongoing unemployed? Nope.

    I dated a guy for a short time who was unemployed. I broke it off when I found out he was so determined to remain unemployed that he had researched and then faked a mental illness in order to obtain a disability pension so that he wouldn't have to look for work. Deliberate drain on society. The arrogance that requires is immense.
  • Strange_magic
    Strange_magic Posts: 370 Member
    I have two children

    At this point I don't have the luxury of being in love with somebody who can't support themselves
  • Tanie98
    Tanie98 Posts: 675 Member
    Unless they're independently wealthy, yes. HUGE dealbreaker.

    ETA that I've dated people who were unemployed before. It may seem antiquated, but in my experience it really does something bad to a man who has to depend on a woman for money.

    yes its true. I have met someone in the past that was unemployed but they said they where looking for a job but then later on it became clear that they had no intention of working.Sometimes it depends on the situation as well
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    My ex was jobless for the first 6 months we dated, then he worked a seasonal job, then was jobless for another 2 months. I definitely supported him financially but he was honestly looking for jobs every day and would have taken ANYTHING offered to him. Eventually he got a really, really good job and has pretty much taken care of anything I've mentioned wanting and paid back every penny he owed me, he kept track - I didn't.
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    Depends-- if they have a plan and are working toward implementing that plan I might give them some time to see how that goes. For example, when we started dating my husband was in the middle of the recruitment process for the Navy. He also had a minimum wage job, but even if he hadn't I would have given him a chance. But if time passed and nothing changed then yeah, deal breaker. And if there are no plans/job search at all just unemployment for no apparent reason then yeah, deal breaker.
  • ge105
    ge105 Posts: 268 Member
    Really depends. Kinda different because we are in a relationship since before he was unemployed but my fiance currently is unemployed. He graduated last year but I have one year left in my program- a program for which I am payed to complete. I can afford to support us both so he is currently unemployed and waiting for me to finish my program. He could get a job but we discussed it and decided it would be better if instead he stayed at home and supported me (and also he is doing some business analysis to start up a company of his own next year). Pretty much love him for it as my program is really demanding. I was likewise unemployed this summer while he worked because we moved to a foreign country for his summer job and I flipped his pancakes and folded his undies the way he does for me now. Someone who is unemployed for no good reason or just living of the gov. are a NO GO (unless the gov. gives them a pension for a duty served).
  • spirit095
    spirit095 Posts: 1,017 Member
    I would if they were actively looking for a job at the time. It really depends on the situation, how they handle it and their personality/looks, etc.
  • mazh4r
    mazh4r Posts: 10
    I'm a mad scientist building a time machine in my parents basement...does that count as unemployed?

    (in all seriousness, if they're in between jobs it would be fine. in fact I had a friend who became more determined to find one when he met someone online. id more weary about the ones who've been through 10 jobs in 2 years, it may show a correlation in personality.)
  • Derpes
    Derpes Posts: 2,033 Member
    Layoffs and downsizing are pretty common, and many competent people get pink slips.

    Food for thought.....
  • Frank_Just_Frank
    Frank_Just_Frank Posts: 454 Member
    I would date her yes. Long term relationship, no.
  • whitehorse67
    whitehorse67 Posts: 101 Member
    With soooo many unemployed folks in this Country...if you called that a deal breaker, your dating pool would be nearly empty!...Now, with that said, if they are a lazy bumb and prefer to live off taxpayers with no ambition to try and find work....then no...
  • Tanie98
    Tanie98 Posts: 675 Member
    Unemployed, actively looking, with prospects of getting a job in the short term? Yeah, probably.

    Willfully and ongoing unemployed? Nope.

    I dated a guy for a short time who was unemployed. I broke it off when I found out he was so determined to remain unemployed that he had researched and then faked a mental illness in order to obtain a disability pension so that he wouldn't have to look for work. Deliberate drain on society. The arrogance that requires is immense.

    That's why I am unsure to start a relationship with someone that's jobless .If I was already in a relationship and they lose their job and they are actively looking then that's a different story
  • CherokeeBabe
    CherokeeBabe Posts: 1,704 Member
    In addition to what was mentioned above:

    1. Is that person independently wealthy? Ok
    2. Is that person currently working towards becoming gainfully employed? Ok
    3. Is that person a leach? HELLZ NOOOOO!!!!

    Perfectly said :)
  • sunglasses_and_ocean_waves
    sunglasses_and_ocean_waves Posts: 2,757 Member
    No I would not.
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    yes absolutely, I could have a homemade breakfast and dinner cooked for me everyday. Clothes taken to dry cleaner. cupcakes in the oven waiting for me. /dreaming

    :love: :heart: :flowerforyou:
  • amcook4
    amcook4 Posts: 561 Member
    When I met my husband he was unemployed. Of course he was recently out of school and was banking on joining the navy, then at the last minute they decided he couldn't join due to acid reflux, so it wasn't really by his choice and not for bad reasons. He was then working on graduate school applications and has been TA-ing for the past 4 years while being a full time student. So obviously yes, I would date someone who is unemployed, unless if is just because they are lazy, that doesn't fly with me.

Categories