Open Relationships
Replies
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Personally, and this is my personal opinion...I feel that open relationships and polyamorous ones are code for 'I don't want to grow up or be in a committed relationship because I'm chicken'....
Again, this is my personal opinion and I mean no offense by it.0 -
My morals regarding open relationships are strongly rooted in my religion. With that said, I wouldn't hold any of my friends to my moral standards and wouldn't judge them on it if all parties involved were okay with it.
If my husband suggested an open relationship to me though, he'd probably get a brick in his windshield.
Agreed.0 -
Ahhh, the One Penis Policy. Because sex isn't real sex if there is no penis involved, and therefore it's not a real relationship. It's just misogyny.
This doesn't always follow this gender norm; Despite wanting to be open-minded enough to think I'd be ok with polyamory, I always end up reverting to the one vagina policy with my husband.
Interesting! I've never heard of it being this way around before.0 -
No and hell no.
^^ This.0 -
desperate and disgusting are opinions..some might day taking on multiple partners is disgusting but i am sorry you are offendedI have a hard time understanding this situation in general. If you want to be with other people why be in a committed relationship to begin with? I see it as wanting your cake & eat it to.
Who the hell wants cake they can't eat??
Especially with whipped cream ome top...
I just want the icing. I'll eat the icing, you can have the cake.
Do you like it straight from the container or applied?
Hmmmm.....it depends.
What flavor is it?
Not sure ..rumor is it is a little salty
Is there a separate forum for disgusting and desperate online sex chats perchance?0 -
I've been in monogamous relationships and open relationships.
I'm not in a monogamous relationship currently because I'm insecure, and I wasn't in an open relationship because I was afraid of commitment or wanted to "cheat". I just adapt to the parameters of each relationship and I can honestly be happy either way.
Honest cheating? No. Cheating to me, implies lying. Deceptive behavior.
Lacking something? Maybe. Maybe not. I don't like taking it in the rear so I fully endorsed my ex getting it from someone else. Would he have been perfectly fine never doing that again? Yeah probably, but having the option available wasn't bad.0 -
Personally, and this is my personal opinion...I feel that open relationships and polyamorous ones are code for 'I don't want to grow up or be in a committed relationship because I'm chicken'....
Again, this is my personal opinion and I mean no offense by it.
It always makes me laugh to hear this opinion, because when you are in more than one romantic relationship at once and you care about the people you're with, you're on a very intensive crash-course of emotional learning. Lots of poly people I know (including me) are often told we are very emotionally mature for this reason. The ability to commit to more than one person is rarely taken lightly - and that's what polyamory is, a willingness to be in a committed romantic relationship with more than one person. It's hardly commitmentphobia - more like commitmentphilia!0 -
if both partners are 100% into it and they keep the communication , trust and honesty going there is nothing wrong with it and it can be really awesome
its not for me but i do know plenty of poly and open relationship people & they are enjoying themselves0 -
People can do and explore what they want sexually. It's best when everyone is safe physically and emotionally, and when everyone is informed and in agreement (without deception or manipulation). That's my opinion. And it's personal, not really anyone's business.0
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I have a hard time understanding this situation in general. If you want to be with other people why be in a committed relationship to begin with? I see it as wanting your cake & eat it to.
Who the hell wants cake they can't eat??
Truth. I don't want cake I can't damn eat.0 -
Personally, and this is my personal opinion...I feel that open relationships and polyamorous ones are code for 'I don't want to grow up or be in a committed relationship because I'm chicken'....
Again, this is my personal opinion and I mean no offense by it.
Actually, wouldn't being in two+ committed relationships (polyamory) describe a person who -very much- enjoys commitment?
And wouldn't taking care of two+ significant others imply that you are grown up? As you would have to double up on many adult situations such as bills and emotions and potentially children.
I'm not saying that everyone has to do it or be okay with it, or that your opinion is invalid, I am just making an argument for the fact that maybe you just don't care to have that type of relationship and it's not a reflection of the maturity level of the people involved in that type of relationship. I don't assume that people in monogamous relationships are jealous and insecure, they just like being monogamous, and that's that.0 -
Is it just “honest cheating”?
When your partner suggests an open relationship, is that a sign that you are not fulfilling their intimacy / sexual needs?
I think others have dealt with the honest cheating idea quite well.
I can add something new to the needs-fulfilment bit though. I suggested an open relationship with my first partner, when I was 15, before we'd had sex, and we were together for 4 years. For me, openness feels like an orientation, like a sexuality. It's just always been a part of me, before I even had a partner probably. I just like not being limited. I'm allowed to spend time with and love multiple family members and friends, so it seems silly to decisively and deliberately limit my sexuality and romantic needs to one person.0 -
I have a hard time understanding this situation in general. If you want to be with other people why be in a committed relationship to begin with? I see it as wanting your cake & eat it to.
Who the hell wants cake they can't eat??
Especially with whipped cream ome top...
I just want the icing. I'll eat the icing, you can have the cake.
Do you like it straight from the container or applied?
Hmmmm.....it depends.
What flavor is it?
Not sure ..rumor is it is a little salty
Is there a separate forum for disgusting and desperate online sex chats perchance?
Desperate, maybe, but I don't see what's disgusting about it. We're all adults here.
Some adults don't want to hear about your bukkake0 -
if you're in a relationship and you aren't happy, the get out or make it work. wrong is wrong even if both agree to do it. :P
Who defines wrong if not the people in the relationship?0 -
All of my relationships were open when I was younger and I was adament about never getting married, ever, because I do have very strong opionions about marriage (for me). I didn't want to be tied down or "belong" to one particular person or have to share my stuff.... and then i met my husband. I can't fathom having another man touch me, or another woman touch him.
As far as friends and family, I would much rather stay home and do" nothing" with my husband than go out and do anything else with anyone else. There is a different bond with him then there is with anyone else, he is by far (along with our children) the most important thing in my life. And it's not just a sexual bond, If I'm happy about something, it's not the same if I can't share it with him, If I'm upset about something, he does what he can to fix that, and yes, he is the only one that can do that so completely. He can fix an unfixable situation. He's deployed right now and I feel like part of me is missing... because it is.
I'm not judging, because I've been there, and I get it, to each their own and I'm happy for anyone that finds happiness, doesn't matter where you find it as long as it's not in a pipe or a bottle. But I did want to defend those of us that do think that one person can satisfy us completely for the rest of our lives.0 -
Can we delete this post..... I've just suggested an open relationship to my girlfriend and I'm now homeless, I only came here to loose a few pounds0
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if you're in a relationship and you aren't happy, the get out or make it work. wrong is wrong even if both agree to do it. :P
Who says someone in an open/polyamorous/or other lifestyle relationship isn't happy? You, because you don't understand it and therefore one must be unhappy in their relationship to seek sex -- that was mutually agreed upon -- elsewhere in a safe environment?
If agreeing to have relations with other people is someone's way of "making it work" then who's to judge? How can you sit there and say it's wrong if it helps a marriage? Like I said I have a lot of friends in the swinger lifestyle and there are quite a few whose marriages were saved because of it.0 -
Sure..kik me0
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Depends... I'm sure there are some folks who use it as a slimball excuse to sleep around but as many have said, there are also plenty of folks in swinger/open/polyamorous relationsips that make it work and are perfectly secure and happy in their situation.
I'm a pretty open minded person when it comes to sex/relationships but I also know my limits and there is no way I could do it...0 -
To each their own. It's not for me. I won't share my treasure. With ANYONE. Male OR female. If I'm not enough for her, she can move it on down the road. And, if she doesn't fulfill me 100%, then I'M moving on. Not judging others by my own standards. Just living by them.0
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i met my husband. I can't fathom having another man touch me, or another woman touch him.
As far as friends and family, I would much rather stay home and do" nothing" with my husband than go out and do anything else with anyone else. There is a different bond with him then there is with anyone else, he is by far (along with our children) the most important thing in my life. And it's not just a sexual bond, If I'm happy about something, it's not the same if I can't share it with him, If I'm upset about something, he does what he can to fix that, and yes, he is the only one that can do that so completely. He can fix an unfixable situation. He's deceased and I feel like part of me is missing... because it is.
I'm not judging, and I get it, to each their own and I'm happy for anyone that finds happiness, doesn't matter where you find it as long as it's not in a pipe or a bottle. But I did want to defend those of us that do think that one person can satisfy us completely for the rest of our lives.
I've edited your post to make it my own, but I strongly agree with so much here.
I was the same way about my husband. Being with him was all I wanted. We spent every minute not working, together. We enjoyed each other's company. I didn't go out with the girls, he didn't go out with the boys. We were everything to each other.0 -
I personally find the idea repulsive.0
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that you know the word is indicative. That you spelled it correctly speaks volumes.I have a hard time understanding this situation in general. If you want to be with other people why be in a committed relationship to begin with? I see it as wanting your cake & eat it to.
Who the hell wants cake they can't eat??
Especially with whipped cream ome top...
I just want the icing. I'll eat the icing, you can have the cake.
Do you like it straight from the container or applied?
Hmmmm.....it depends.
What flavor is it?
Not sure ..rumor is it is a little salty
Is there a separate forum for disgusting and desperate online sex chats perchance?
Desperate, maybe, but I don't see what's disgusting about it. We're all adults here.
Some adults don't want to hear about your bukkake0 -
To each their own. It's not for me. I won't share my treasure. With ANYONE. Male OR female. If I'm not enough for her, she can move it on down the road. And, if she doesn't fulfill me 100%, then I'M moving on. Not judging others by my own standards. Just living by them.
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Thank GAWD I don't care what any of you do in your relationships...
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Some people try an open relationship as a band-aid to a crumbling relationship. That's a bad idea. It's not going to fix what's broken in the relationship. It's hard enough with one person. Being open and honest with a third person seems like a recipe for trouble.
I can't imagine sharing my husband. I'd probably go postal on anyone who touched him inappropriately. :laugh:0 -
Personally, and this is my personal opinion...I feel that open relationships and polyamorous ones are code for 'I don't want to grow up or be in a committed relationship because I'm chicken'....
Again, this is my personal opinion and I mean no offense by it.
Actually, wouldn't being in two+ committed relationships (polyamory) describe a person who -very much- enjoys commitment?
And wouldn't taking care of two+ significant others imply that you are grown up? As you would have to double up on many adult situations such as bills and emotions and potentially children.
I'm not saying that everyone has to do it or be okay with it, or that your opinion is invalid, I am just making an argument for the fact that maybe you just don't care to have that type of relationship and it's not a reflection of the maturity level of the people involved in that type of relationship. I don't assume that people in monogamous relationships are jealous and insecure, they just like being monogamous, and that's that.
I see your point and I should have re-read my statement because I actually thought I had taken the grow up part out.
The commitment thing though - the ones I have encountered stated they only wanted to be in a committed relationship with one, but they were polyamorous. Of course these were all coming from people on dating sites. One was a married couple who had kids and they both dated other people. I guess that's a completely foreign concept to me, especially when kids are in the picture. i guess personally, I feel being in a committed relationship with 1 person can be hard enough. Add a 2nd, 3rd, etc...If you get mad at one do you leave to go see 2 or 3? Do you make a schedule for who is with who and when? What happens if someone gets jealous. I guess I feel that 2 people trying to make things work can be a lot harder because you don't have an 'out'.
I'm also one though that to each their own. Do what you want, just leave me out of it. :flowerforyou:
Honestly, I have a hard enough time just dating one, let alone two. I realize not everyone is like that.0 -
Just to answer the OP.
It's not for me....to each his/her own.0 -
What goes on between two consulting adults is of nobody else's business as far as I'm concerned. I doesn't affect my life in any form way or function. So if it makes them happy...cheers.:drinker:
This obsession our society places on knowing the intimate details of other people's sex lives is bizarre. Mind your own and don't worry about your neighbor.0 -
What goes on between two consulting adults is of nobody else's business as far as I'm concerned. I doesn't affect my life in any form way or function. So if it makes them happy...cheers.:drinker:
This obsession our society places on knowing the intimate details of other people's sex lives is bizarre. Mind your own and don't worry about your neighbor.
Srsly - THIS!0
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