I work out with my boyfriend

cherrilovee

My boyfriend and I have a gym membership together. We usually go together right before he goes to work, which is right after I get out of class. We only have about 40 min span of time at the gym. Anyways we usually spend 15 min on the treadmill (averaging 4.0 mph-4.5mph.) Anyways, he likes to run the last few minutes, and I just DON'T do running. My knee usually hurts really bad afterwards (Yes, I've had it checked out. Turns out I have something called Osgood-Schlatter disease.) ANYWAYS. After our treadmill use, we leave the cardio room and head to the weights. Since he's usually out of breath from all of the running we sit out for a few minutes until his heart rate is lower and then we hit the weight room. One weight room has machines that we can both use, the other weight room has more heavy lifting manly stuff that I'm scared of trying lol. Sometimes we go into the first room and I'm happy with that because we both work out so I'm not wasting my time at the gym. But sometimes we go into the second room & I just stand there and watch him lift heavy and I'm his spotter to make sure he doesn't drop the weights and hurt himself. I mean I'm all for helping him, but it kills me that we spend 40 min at the gym and I only work out for 15 min of that time. Any advice? Should I, maybe, stay close by and still work out? Or show up later in the day for my own workout? I don't know, help me please.

meshashesha2012

learn to squat, deadlift, bench press, pull up same as him.

and if your bf doesnt squat and deadlift then i for you because cus boys need back too :laugh:

ashleearoha

Stop holding yourself back and saying you can't do "manly stuff". Surely there are free weights in there that you utilize, start out small and work your way up. Your boyfriend would be happy to help you out. Work a set each and spot each other. You both will work out then and you won't be upset you aren't getting enough gym time.

I don't believe that the room would be solely for massively strong guys. And if you just cant bring yourself to use that equipment, bring a mat in and do some other body weight exercises, abdominal exercises or do plyo exercises like squat jumps, box jumps etc...there really isn't an excuse for standing there doing nothing. Its a gym!

Sarauk2sf

I am confused. Why are you not working out with him? Or, of you do not want to do what he is doing, then let him find another spotter and do your own thing. I get that he may be lifting heavier weights - but there is no reason he cannot use your working sets as warm up sets - or just work in other lifts.

And btw...the free weights room is not 'manly' - it just happens to be populated by primarily guys - for a number of reasons, one of which I think you have highlighted in your post.

MeanderingMammal

Use the free weights, you'll get more benefit from them than machines. As Osgood-Schlatter is a condition that subsides fairly quickly learning good technique will aid in your recovery, and means that you'll be able to increase the intensity of your treadmill warm up.

That said, Id be concerned that your boyfriend seems to need to take a break after a light warm up, that suggests an underlying issue around his fitness. As you're only talking about a slow walk with a brief period of running he should be able to go straight into resistance training from that.

All that said, 40 minutes isn't a particularly long time, as you're doing a 15 minute warm up you're only getting 25 minutes of resistance training in. It's probably worth looking at how your sessions are structured to get more from them. Dedicated resistance and CV days would seem most obvious immediately.

mereditheve

Anyways we usually spend 15 min on the treadmill (averaging 4.0 mph-4.5mph.)

If that's all you're doing, why bother going to the gym? Go for long walks outside at a brisk pace instead.

One weight room has machines that we can both use, the other weight room has more heavy lifting manly stuff that I'm scared of trying lol.

What do you mean heavy lifting manly stuff? Bench press? You can do that! Dumbbells? You can do that too! Conquer your fear. Start with a weight that challenges you, but doesn't completely overwhelm you. Soon enough, you'll be talking smack to your boyfriend and he'll be posting on here about how his girlfriend now dominates their 45 minute workouts.

logg1e

I think it's great that you have company at the gym, but I can feel your frustration and can see how you're being held back.

15 minutes walking a treadmill - I'd replace this with a 30 minute walk at some other point in the day. Save your limited gym time for making the most of the equipment.

Don't spot your boyfriend in the room you don't like to work out in! Go and use the equipment you want to use.

OR swot up on Stronglifts 5x5 - read about the benefits of weight-lifting for women and start using that room yourself.

Finally, I'd seriously suggest that you make your gym session longer. Stay after your boyfriend has had to leave.

amwoidyla

I go to the gym with my boyfriend, but it's pretty rare that we work out together because we have different goals. Usually, we end up lifting the same body part on the same day, but don't lift together unless we're on a cable machine and can easily switch out the weights. If we do legs on the same day, I try to use the equipment he's on after he's finished so I don't need to wait around for it.
We still get to spend time together, but get our own workouts in. I like to think it's a pretty good arrangement.

SoDamnHungry

You should either also lift, or go do something else. You don't have to spend every second at the gym together. It's not a date.

randomtai

Um... find your own things to do? Lift your own weights? :huh: :noway:
Not really seeing the problem here.

willrun4bagels

Lifting heavier weights in the weight room is not manly.

My fiance just started going to the gym with me this week coincidentally. I can lift a lot more than he can (for now). It's fun.

RaeLB

you know you can like workout without him....

btw heavy weights are not for men, they're for anyone who wants to lift them

martinel2099

Lifting heavy isn't just man stuff, it's woman stuff too. You both should try doing the strong lift 5x5 program, I'm doing it with my significant other right now and she's loving it.

thismamarox

I go with my BF also and I lift just like he does. Sometimes it can be intimidating at first, but watch what he is doing, and mimic it using smaller weights. Its amazing how much girls can lift. We are not the delicate flowers that society has us made out to be. You are doing yourself a HUGE disservice by not lifting with him!

dbmata

What is "manly" about being physically strong enough through resistance training to live a healthy and full life?

Is picking up a 20# iron pan manly? Is digging a hole and tilling a garden manly? Is being able to push, pull, or lift something that you need to a manly endeavor?

No.

rachelrb85

Lift those weights girl... nothing manly about them. Take turns and let him spot you and observe your form.

rml_16

At my gym, even the "heavier, manly" weights section has smaller weights. I lift as heavy as I can, but sometimes that still means slightly lighter weights and I go to the "man" section of my gym all the time. (There are usually women in there, so "man" is in quotes, of course.)

Just pick up some of the lighter weights that aren't so heavy you can't lift them or ruin your form.

quellybelly

Lifting weights will not make you manly! Get him to teach you and then you can alternate between sets and spot each other.

<- not manly

BabyWeight710

The worst thing you can do is stand and watch him while he works out!!!! My boyfriend would be annoyed beyond belief in two seconds haha. Lift with him!!! Let him help you and show you the way. Being strong is the best feeling ever for a girl. There are some things that my boyfriend does that I don't even try, but I go off and do my own thing when that happens. In fact, we will be at the gym and hardly speak sometimes lol.

Unknown

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JustinAnimal

*Anyway



And, yes, develop that independence. Both lift at the same time, just do different things. Like someone already said, it's doubtful that you'll both be doing the same exercises or the same amount of weight. Don't exercise for only 15 minutes; exercise for 40.

tomomatic

removed

jason_adams

It's awesome to have a training partner! I've been working out solo for years now. Here are my suggestions:

Plan your workouts ahead of time so that you both know what's going to happen.
Use the internet to find videos on the proper form for each exercise, so you can see ahead of time how to do the movements.
Hit the free weights together. One person does one set, the other spots. Switch. Repeat until complete.

ShibaEars

I think you should lift with him! I am intimidated by the weight area because I don't really know how everything works and where it is. You have someone that is already comfortable in there and (hopefully) knows what he's doing!

Ask him to show you some lifts (deadlifts, squats, bench press). You can do your lifts while he is resting (would involve adjusting weights, but it can be quick with 2 people helping), or you can do yours after he's done. I'm betting he'd be more than happy to show you a thing or two

Or if you don't want to do the "manly" stuff, stay in the other area where you're more comfortable. You don't need to be stuck by each other's side the whole time.

JoRocka

I'm confused- do they not have a the weight's that range down to 5's?

Even " manly" lifters use 5/10 pounders for stuff.

So- select a weight that's appropriate for you to be doing the same lifts as he is and then you take turns doing your lifts.
OR- pick up Starting strength/Strong lifts/New rules of lifting and go lift on your own.

I can't life with a BF- that's to much for me- glad it works for you but don't be afraid to do your own thing.

Don't let him drive your training.

No_Finish_Line

My boyfriend and I have a gym membership together. We usually go together right before he goes to work, which is right after I get out of class. We only have about 40 min span of time at the gym. Anyways we usually spend 15 min on the treadmill (averaging 4.0 mph-4.5mph.) Anyways, he likes to run the last few minutes, and I just DON'T do running. My knee usually hurts really bad afterwards (Yes, I've had it checked out. Turns out I have something called Osgood-Schlatter disease.) ANYWAYS. After our treadmill use, we leave the cardio room and head to the weights. Since he's usually out of breath from all of the running we sit out for a few minutes until his heart rate is lower and then we hit the weight room. One weight room has machines that we can both use, the other weight room has more heavy lifting manly stuff that I'm scared of trying lol. Sometimes we go into the first room and I'm happy with that because we both work out so I'm not wasting my time at the gym. But sometimes we go into the second room & I just stand there and watch him lift heavy and I'm his spotter to make sure he doesn't drop the weights and hurt himself. I mean I'm all for helping him, but it kills me that we spend 40 min at the gym and I only work out for 15 min of that time. Any advice? Should I, maybe, stay close by and still work out? Or show up later in the day for my own workout? I don't know, help me please.

sounds like your wasting your time when he goes into the weight room. if your dead set on not working out that way, then i'd just go do my own thing. He can find a spotter when he really needs one.

dbmata

I can't life with a BF- that's to much for me- glad it works for you but don't be afraid to do your own thing.

Lol, yeah. I tried with my wife, but i have little patience in the weight room for shenanigans. So whenever I hear, that's weird, i don't want to do that. (srsly, it's a deadlift.) I respond with "ok, I'll be done in about a half hour. Love you."

Then I get back to my work. Ain't nobody got time for that.

fivethreeone

I'm sorry, are you his shadow or something? Why you so attached? Do what you want. Unless you don't know what you want, in which case keep doing whatever he does. Seems like that's working out for you.

JoRocka

I can't life with a BF- that's to much for me- glad it works for you but don't be afraid to do your own thing.

Lol, yeah. I tried with my wife, but i have little patience in the weight room for shenanigans. So whenever I hear, that's weird, i don't want to do that. (srsly, it's a deadlift.) I respond with "ok, I'll be done in about a half hour. Love you."

Then I get back to my work. Ain't nobody got time for that.

yep yep- my BF refuses to use a gym- but I've tried with other friends-I mostly just get annoyed- I have had good luck lifting with ONE person in the last few years- we both work hard- we both like to joke. And there is no problem saying "shut up and squat"- tempo of lifting is a thing- people may not be aware of it- but if you lift with someone who has a different style/tempo- it's just never going to work.

I also cant' deal with self conscious- shut up and do the thing- no one cares- and even if they do SO WHAT. Clearly what I"m doing is working- so yeah- no time. none- no time at all.

ValGogo

Get in there and use the "big manly" weights that you are unreasonably afraid of. LIFT GIRL!!!!

:flowerforyou:

mymodernbabylon

My husband and I warm up for 5 minutes and then do Stronglifts together. It works out well and doesn't take that long. You can lift and you can also go and do your own thing. You don't need to warm up with him for that long and honestly, if you aren't a weight lifter I wouldn't want you to spot me anyway.