I work out with my boyfriend

2

Replies

  • jason_adams
    jason_adams Posts: 187 Member
    It's awesome to have a training partner! I've been working out solo for years now. Here are my suggestions:

    Plan your workouts ahead of time so that you both know what's going to happen.
    Use the internet to find videos on the proper form for each exercise, so you can see ahead of time how to do the movements.
    Hit the free weights together. One person does one set, the other spots. Switch. Repeat until complete.
  • ShibaEars
    ShibaEars Posts: 3,928 Member
    I think you should lift with him! I am intimidated by the weight area because I don't really know how everything works and where it is. You have someone that is already comfortable in there and (hopefully) knows what he's doing!

    Ask him to show you some lifts (deadlifts, squats, bench press). You can do your lifts while he is resting (would involve adjusting weights, but it can be quick with 2 people helping), or you can do yours after he's done. I'm betting he'd be more than happy to show you a thing or two :smile:

    Or if you don't want to do the "manly" stuff, stay in the other area where you're more comfortable. You don't need to be stuck by each other's side the whole time.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
    I'm confused- do they not have a the weight's that range down to 5's?

    Even " manly" lifters use 5/10 pounders for stuff.

    So- select a weight that's appropriate for you to be doing the same lifts as he is and then you take turns doing your lifts.
    OR- pick up Starting strength/Strong lifts/New rules of lifting and go lift on your own.

    I can't life with a BF- that's to much for me- glad it works for you but don't be afraid to do your own thing.

    Don't let him drive your training.
  • No_Finish_Line
    No_Finish_Line Posts: 3,661 Member
    My boyfriend and I have a gym membership together. We usually go together right before he goes to work, which is right after I get out of class. We only have about 40 min span of time at the gym. Anyways we usually spend 15 min on the treadmill (averaging 4.0 mph-4.5mph.) Anyways, he likes to run the last few minutes, and I just DON'T do running. My knee usually hurts really bad afterwards (Yes, I've had it checked out. Turns out I have something called Osgood-Schlatter disease.) ANYWAYS. After our treadmill use, we leave the cardio room and head to the weights. Since he's usually out of breath from all of the running we sit out for a few minutes until his heart rate is lower and then we hit the weight room. One weight room has machines that we can both use, the other weight room has more heavy lifting manly stuff that I'm scared of trying lol. Sometimes we go into the first room and I'm happy with that because we both work out so I'm not wasting my time at the gym. But sometimes we go into the second room & I just stand there and watch him lift heavy and I'm his spotter to make sure he doesn't drop the weights and hurt himself. I mean I'm all for helping him, but it kills me that we spend 40 min at the gym and I only work out for 15 min of that time. Any advice? Should I, maybe, stay close by and still work out? Or show up later in the day for my own workout? I don't know, help me please.

    sounds like your wasting your time when he goes into the weight room. if your dead set on not working out that way, then i'd just go do my own thing. He can find a spotter when he really needs one.
  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,950 Member
    I can't life with a BF- that's to much for me- glad it works for you but don't be afraid to do your own thing.

    Lol, yeah. I tried with my wife, but i have little patience in the weight room for shenanigans. So whenever I hear, that's weird, i don't want to do that. (srsly, it's a deadlift.) I respond with "ok, I'll be done in about a half hour. Love you."

    Then I get back to my work. Ain't nobody got time for that.
  • fivethreeone
    fivethreeone Posts: 8,196 Member
    I'm sorry, are you his shadow or something? Why you so attached? Do what you want. Unless you don't know what you want, in which case keep doing whatever he does. Seems like that's working out for you.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
    I can't life with a BF- that's to much for me- glad it works for you but don't be afraid to do your own thing.

    Lol, yeah. I tried with my wife, but i have little patience in the weight room for shenanigans. So whenever I hear, that's weird, i don't want to do that. (srsly, it's a deadlift.) I respond with "ok, I'll be done in about a half hour. Love you."

    Then I get back to my work. Ain't nobody got time for that.

    yep yep- my BF refuses to use a gym- but I've tried with other friends-I mostly just get annoyed- I have had good luck lifting with ONE person in the last few years- we both work hard- we both like to joke. And there is no problem saying "shut up and squat"- tempo of lifting is a thing- people may not be aware of it- but if you lift with someone who has a different style/tempo- it's just never going to work.

    I also cant' deal with self conscious- shut up and do the thing- no one cares- and even if they do SO WHAT. Clearly what I"m doing is working- so yeah- no time. none- no time at all.
  • ValGogo
    ValGogo Posts: 2,168 Member
    Get in there and use the "big manly" weights that you are unreasonably afraid of. LIFT GIRL!!!!

    :flowerforyou:
  • mymodernbabylon
    mymodernbabylon Posts: 1,038 Member
    My husband and I warm up for 5 minutes and then do Stronglifts together. It works out well and doesn't take that long. You can lift and you can also go and do your own thing. You don't need to warm up with him for that long and honestly, if you aren't a weight lifter I wouldn't want you to spot me anyway.
  • ValGogo
    ValGogo Posts: 2,168 Member
    I can't life with a BF- that's to much for me- glad it works for you but don't be afraid to do your own thing.

    Lol, yeah. I tried with my wife, but i have little patience in the weight room for shenanigans. So whenever I hear, that's weird, i don't want to do that. (srsly, it's a deadlift.) I respond with "ok, I'll be done in about a half hour. Love you."

    Then I get back to my work. Ain't nobody got time for that.

    Word! Good for you, brother!
  • levitateme
    levitateme Posts: 999 Member
    My boyfriend is my lifting partner. I'm just realizing now (from reading others mentioning that they can't work out with their partner) how cool it is that we are on the same page when it comes to the gym. He benches a lot more than I do, but we swap out plates in between sets and spot each other. It's a pretty even playing field for us when it comes to squats and DL, and he prefers to OHPing dumbbells to my barbell, but we can each do our own thing together and we push each other to work harder.

    OP, you either need to not go to the gym with him, go to the gym with him but do your own thing (like, "we just come in the same car") or get on the same page. I recommend lifting. It's fun and not "manly" or whatever insulting thing you said about me and other women like me. :flowerforyou:
  • Holly_Roman_Empire
    Holly_Roman_Empire Posts: 4,440 Member
    OP, I see that you are 19 years old, so I'll go easy on you. Either start lifting weights to make your time in the weight room useful, or go do something else in another part of the gym that you like. Trust me, your boyfriend doesn't need you there. He can get someone else to spot him.
  • AllOutof_Bubblegum
    AllOutof_Bubblegum Posts: 3,646 Member
    Get over your fear of heavy weights. Lift with him.
  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,950 Member
    Hm, yeah, if you have a partner that can match your intensity and pattern, then good! IF not... less than optimal.

    I love my wife and all, but it just isn't happening, we're far too different in goals, and interests. I've offered a couple tri folks to join me, but I have a feeling that won't work out either.

    There you go, call it alone time! :)
  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,950 Member
    I can't life with a BF- that's to much for me- glad it works for you but don't be afraid to do your own thing.

    Lol, yeah. I tried with my wife, but i have little patience in the weight room for shenanigans. So whenever I hear, that's weird, i don't want to do that. (srsly, it's a deadlift.) I respond with "ok, I'll be done in about a half hour. Love you."

    Then I get back to my work. Ain't nobody got time for that.

    Word! Good for you, brother!

    Tell you what though, super frustrated when she beats me into the ground running.

    run a 5km, and she literally runs rings around me from time to time. >_<
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
    I'd like to add I lifted quiet a bit with my best friend- but we trained completely differently- so we would drive to the gym together- spot each other for lifts that needed spotting- and touch base every 30 min or so to make sure we were on the same time table roughly... but we never actually LIFTED together.

    totally fine- totally do-able.
  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,950 Member
    Cut out the spotting and that's what my wife and I do. So we're technically together, in the same building... lol.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
    Cut out the spotting and that's what my wife and I do. So we're technically together, in the same building... lol.

    Exactly.
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
    Hm, yeah, if you have a partner that can match your intensity and pattern, then good! IF not... less than optimal.

    I love my wife and all, but it just isn't happening, we're far too different in goals, and interests. I've offered a couple tri folks to join me, but I have a feeling that won't work out either.

    There you go, call it alone time! :)

    Everything you said + 1,000,000

    My alone time/gym buddies time is so important to me. Also, I like to go at my own pace and I don't really like to talk when I'm working.

    OP - Find some things you like to do and go do them. There's no need to follow your BF around the gym, sacrificing your own workout for the sake of watching him. Also, lifting weights is not "manly" - it's an awesome way to build muscle, cut inches and feel great.
  • jmt08c
    jmt08c Posts: 343 Member
    Another relationship thread? Just break up.

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