For my overweight child...

HealthyChanges2010

by skipping the checkup at the doctor you are only putting her health more at risk, doctors are trained in this sort of thing, then can usually tell the parent without upsetting the child or letting the child know

I agree, skipping the doctor appt. because He'll be honest with her about her weight??? :huh: How is that going to help her at all? Everyone pretending she's not overweight isn't helping. Children know when they are overweight or different in some way then their friends, it's not a big surprise to them.

Most definitely take her to her annual Doc appt. to be sure it's not something else causing her to binge and gain weight. Perhaps he can help her understand things better.

mmtiernan

Many of the previous posters have given you some pretty sound advice.

My feeling on the issue is to EMPOWER your daughter. Teach her how to read labels. Teach her why it is important not to indulge in trans fats, too much saturated fats and too much sugars. Teach her how to create a meal plan of healthy foods. Teach her how to ensure that she gets adequate exercise and why it is important.

Kids are sponges and they are great emulators. They want to be like Mom and Dad and they also want to spend time with Mom and Dad. This can give you a great opportunity to strengthen your bond with your daughter and start her on the road to healthy living habits.

My own daughter lost her father (my ex-husband) when she was 12. It was a huge wake up call for us as a family, not because of a weight issue (my daughter is average weight) but because her father was only 38 and died of a heart attack. On top of that, he was adopted so we don't know his family medical background. My daughter became worried that the same fate awaits her. We began to research healthy eating together. My daughter can now read a nutrition label with the best of them! We subscribed to Clean Eating magazine and plan our weekly clean, healthy meals together, grocery shop together and prepare the meals together. She has become a pretty confident cook! We also work out together, a minimum of three days per week - usually five or six days per week. Being healthy has become our family way of life. She is happier, she maintains a very healthy weight and we are strengthened as a family because we do it all together. She even packs her own healthy school lunch every night. My daughter now has the tools that she needs to live a full, healthy life and give herself the best chance of not suffering the same fate as her father.

Empower your daughter. Help her learn healthy lifestyle habits that she can carry with her throughout her life. You'll increase not only her health, but her confidence and self-worth.

Good luck to both of you!
Michelle

dancer77

I am not sure if I have any advice, but I can sympathize. I was the super skinny child all growing up though I was convinced I was chubby. When I hit puberty all the "curves" I translated as fat and I decided since I was already fat why not just pig out all the time? I remember sneaking food when I was 16/17 (our kitchen was always open so it wasn't always "sneaking"). I'd first say to get all those foods out of your house at least for a bit. That way you can work on the healthy behaviors BEFORE you have all the temptations around. It seems like you don't want your child to think their is anything "wrong" with her (and there isn't, its just that she isn't making healthy choices) so you will have to be a bit sneaky. Try having healthier foods to pig out on? Short term solution wise having healthier things around will at least halt the adding on of weight til you can figure out how to change the behavior. My little sister was chubby all growing up and while she didnt' sneak anything that I remember (maybe she was very verrrry sneaky) she slimmed out when she hit puberty and she eats a very balanced diet and is health conscious. Keep in mind that your daughter is just 11 so it isn't the end of the world and unfortunately some of us have to grow up and then realize what we were doing wrong. I stopped my late night sneaking on my own once I figured it out. My mom tried all the sermonettes and I was listening but I didn't think it was as big of a deal as she did so it never really hit home. I hope that was helpful to at least some degree.

TheMaidOfAstolat

I didn't read all the responces and I'm sorry if this has already been addressed. But has she started puberty? Most girls put on some weight once the hormones start changing. I gained a good 10 pounds before my period started. Take her to the doctor for a routine checkup and see what the doctor says. See a nutritionist on top of a regular doctor as well. Get her involoved in some sort of activity that isn't nessicarily physical but keeps her busy for a bit, maybe an art class or an acting class. It would also boost her selfesteem without it being based on physical appearance.

pkgirrl

.. Just another overweight child sharing some thoughts.

Before my parents got divorced I was fairly skinny, ate out of boredom occasionally, but not to the point that I gained too much weight. Afterwards, I lived with my mom for awhile, and started mimicking her bad food patters. I remember the one time we went to the grocery store, bough a box of those oatmeal cream cookie sandwiches, and split the whole box in the parking lot. I got to be about 30lbs overweight, before she lost court battle and I moved in with my father. Things got easier from there for a little while, I was so busy playing with the other kids, there were set meal times, and we didn't really think about eating outside of those. I dropped 40lbs in about 6 weeks, and stayed that way for quite awhile. Then my stepmother started imposing all of these food rules, on all of us, because one of her sons was pretty overweight. She'd lock things up, yell at us for "stealing" food, and eventually put security cameras in the kitchen. Needless to say as soon as I moved out I ate everything in sight, whenever I could. I felt like I had to eat an entire tub of ice cream, box of cookies, or whatever massive meal restaurant was in front of me just because it was there, and it might not be later. I still fight those urges.

Please please please, I know a lot of people on here suggested locking the food up. Please don't making it forbidden will only give her an even bigger complex on top of the emotional eating. Just try to limit the amount of junk in the house, or make it something special you share together. Keep tons of fresh fruit and veggies on hand, and let her know it's okay to eat them as she pleases. If she's sneaking food she's already aware she's over eating and she's ashamed of it, so try to help her see that food is essential, and not something to feel guilty about. *kitten* cares if she eats an entire bunch of celery in one sitting? If you see her binging, per say, on veggies, join her!

I hope this helps, I realize a lot of it's been said more or less before, I just really wanted to talk about the locking food up. It honestly made things really hard for me. When I'm at my own house I'm fine, because I'm in control of the food, I can buy and eat what I please, and I know there will always be food available, so I don't feel the need to eat anything just because it's there, but it's still something I struggle with whenever I spend time at anyone else's, like going home for Christmas and such.

pkgirrl

PS oh my gosh I am so sorry about all of the typos, I just like melted out on the keyboard there and didn't bother to spell check. Yikes =/

TaneeisFitforLife

A lot of good stuff has been said already..... I just want to chime in another vote for leading by example. We really don't keep junk food at home and instead we will go out for a treat and eat it outside of the house . I know you don't want to embarrass her by bringing up the sneaking but it can be brought up in a way not to scar her.

Get her involved with your lifestyle change.....reading labels, searching for new healthy food to buy, exercise that can be done as a family & will be a bonding experience.

funkyspunky871

I've read through most of the other posts here, and here's what I think -- coming from a 16-year-old girl who was probably close to 300 pounds when she was 11. I've got some recent experience.

1.) You do NOT want to be teaching your daughter how to diet at this age. That's the LAST thing she needs. What other 11-year-old reads nutrition labels?! Or makes food plans?! Oh my God; that's ridiculous.

2.) Starting her in karate is a great idea. Keeping her from the doctor? Not so much. In fact, her doctor may be the best source of advice. Don't give up with counseling/journaling either. Nip these emotional eating problems in the bud while you can.

3.) You're daughter definitely knows she's overweight. That's why you don't want her to get into the mindset of dieting at such a young age. (THAT's how you start eating disorders. Trust me.) I say you should remove most of the junk from your house; do it for you and for her! Start making healthier family meals and snacks and desserts. She doesn't have to know they're lower calorie/lower fat. Make mac-and-cheese with a mix of 2% cheese and fat-free, start using extra-lean ground beef, buy reduced fat or fat-free hotdogs, etc.

Just a few changes coupled with karate classes should do the trick. You have to remember the weight won't come off for her like it does for you. You might expect a pound per week, but it could take half a month for her.

TaneeisFitforLife

Um....all of my kids read labels. Except for the 4 year old lol I teach them about the nutrition side of things & doesn't have anything to do with calories.

Ridiculous? I think not :P

TheMaidOfAstolat

Um....all of my kids read labels. Except for the 4 year old lol I teach them about the nutrition side of things & doesn't have anything to do with calories.

Ridiculous? I think not :P

I agree with this. Knowing what is in food isn't a bad idea. She doesn't need to be counting cals or fats or such but it's a good start for learning what is healthy and what is not. My 7 year old knows how to read labels. We also read labels because I'm a vegetarian and i try to avoid many animal byproducts...reading labels is the only thing to do in my situation.

mmtiernan

1.) You do NOT want to be teaching your daughter how to diet at this age. That's the LAST thing she needs. What other 11-year-old reads nutrition labels?! Or makes food plans?! Oh my God; that's ridiculous.

If you re-read my post, you will notice that I did NOT use the word "diet". Teaching children how to read labels and plan menus is not ridiculous. The intention of learning how to read nutrition labels and how to plan menus is to teach my daughter how to choose healthy, wholesome foods that are nutritious for her body and not garbage. My daughter has been doing this for the last three years and is now not only able to create a healthy menu and cook the meals herself, she can also shop smart and stay within a food budget. These are basic life skills that most of her 15-year old friends do not have!

We also do not buy treats and keep them in the house. We go out for ice cream or some other treat once or at most twice per month and it is consumed outside of the house. My daughter does not feel in any way deprived or restricted. Quite the contrary.

ImmortalWings17

Teaching her what is in food leads to her being able to control her body and its weight. You don't need to tell her she's fat. She needs to know where and who she is though. Trust me. If she's like I was, she'll know that what your doing is for a own good. I also think that the setting an example is good too. Again it's really great to be able to control your weight, so it doesn't get in the way of finding out who you are and what you want. Hope this makes sense and helps.

TheMaidOfAstolat

Teaching her what is in food leads to her being able to control her body and its weight. You don't need to tell her she's fat. She needs to know where and who she is though. Trust me. If she's like I was, she'll know that what your doing is for a own good. I also think that the setting an example is good too. Again it's really great to be able to control your weight, so it doesn't get in the way of finding out who you are and what you want. Hope this makes sense and helps.

Compleatly true. Also, for those that believe that an ED only starts as being food/weight related...it's not true. I am still a recovering anorexic. My anorexia was brought on by lack of control....not anything to do with food or weight. I was perfectly healthy and at the right weight at the time. It was simply a matter of needing control over something in my life that no one else could tell me what to do and when.

elainegsd

I've read through most of the other posts here, and here's what I think -- coming from a 16-year-old girl who was probably close to 300 pounds when she was 11. I've got some recent experience.

1.)... What other 11-year-old reads nutrition labels?! Or makes food plans?! Oh my God; that's ridiculous.

LOL. The smart ones read the labels well before 11. My nieces and nephews range in age from 9 to19, all read and understand nutrition labels and have since they first could read. I was reading the labels from the time I was 6 or 7, but didn't understand what I should be looking for (e.g. What is a reasonable number of calories for someone my age/size? How much of those cals should be from protein? What types of foods have more bang for the caloric buck? If someone had explained that to me when I was 11, it would have been wonderful! One of my nephews walked into McDs at about age 8, looked at the menu and asked his mom if he could have a salad. Now THAT is one empowered kid!