This seriously breaks my heart on a daily basis

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245

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  • melissay28
    melissay28 Posts: 100 Member
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    My son is so used to uniforms that the appeal of "regular" clothes for school isn't there for him. Being in private school his uniform is more strict and of course more expensive :-/ $10.00 for 3 pairs of socks bc they have the schools initials on them, a specific type of shorts from a specific company only in navy. My husband is in the military so all I wash are uniforms! I'm the only non-uniform wearer!

    When I was in school I definitely wouldn't have wanted to wear a uniform but now that so many schools are going towards uniforms it isn't a bad idea. It helps cut down on the "who has what's" that I remember in school.
  • mereditheve
    mereditheve Posts: 142 Member
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    I want to offer another perspective. Going through this girl's school is the most intrusive way of simply giving her a gift. How would you feel if I went to your boss after seeing your work outfits weren't very stylish, and asked that your boss give you some new suits that I would pay for? It would be humiliating! Not only did some unknown stranger notice you, but instead of having the courage to stop you and simply show a kind gesture, they are now intruding in your work life.

    Give the girl a gift card for a nearby clothing store so she can pick out some new clothes if she wants. Show some kindness directly -- that's what kindness is.
  • 970Mikaela1
    970Mikaela1 Posts: 2,013 Member
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    Maybe that's all she wants to wear? In middle school I had exactly two outfits that I wore. They were not fashionable, but I hated everything else.

    my daughter wears the same yoga pants about everyday. she has a several of the same colors. she also wears flip flops in the snow. she is very much a pain in my *kitten*.
  • CJisinShape
    CJisinShape Posts: 1,407 Member
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    Thank you for caring.
  • CJisinShape
    CJisinShape Posts: 1,407 Member
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    I want to offer another perspective. Going through this girl's school is the most intrusive way of simply giving her a gift. How would you feel if I went to your boss after seeing your work outfits weren't very stylish, and asked that your boss give you some new suits that I would pay for? It would be humiliating! Not only did some unknown stranger notice you, but instead of having the courage to stop you and simply show a kind gesture, they are now intruding in your work life.

    Give the girl a gift card for a nearby clothing store so she can pick out some new clothes if she wants. Show some kindness directly -- that's what kindness is.

    I'm going to second this. Good idea!
  • rachelesmfp
    rachelesmfp Posts: 24
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    I really wonder if approaching the school will cause unnecessary grief for the parents. Being poor is not the end of the world. Having been there a roof and food is more important than whether or not you can afford brand new clothes. I for one buy clothes a little big for my boys because I want more than a months wear out of them before I have to buy new ones (they grow up so quickly). My kids have had to do with things from goodwill in the past, it didnt kill them.
    Maybe she insists she does her hair in the morning and doesnt want her mum to do it.
    There are a lot of explanations...
  • RavenLibra
    RavenLibra Posts: 1,737 Member
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    My kid is 15... and she chooses to wear the same freaking clothes until the clothes run and hide from her... WHAT REALLY IRKS ME ABOUT my KID ( A GIRL btw) IS THAT... we used to spend close to $2k every August for clothes... THEN turn around and donate almost the entire wad of clothes to charity at the end of the school year... so this year... 10 minutes and $50 bucks at WalMart and we were DONE!!! and the kid was actually happy... SO.. don't assume... if you really want to know the score and help.. follow her home... then ring the doorbell and have a chat with her parents...
  • dMonster01
    dMonster01 Posts: 214 Member
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    When I was that age I wore the exact same outfit every day on purpose. Maybe she just likes it a lot? And what does messy hair have to do with her being poor?
  • rachelesmfp
    rachelesmfp Posts: 24
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    When I was that age I wore the exact same outfit every day on purpose. Maybe she just likes it a lot? And what does messy hair have to do with her being poor?

    I thought messy hair was the done thing at the moment. I see countless teens with a giant fizzy mop sticking out all over and in their face and out from under hats.
  • hopingtoloseweightthistime
    hopingtoloseweightthistime Posts: 24 Member
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    I think that it is great that you want to help her.

    If you see her alone everyday then maybe you can approach her and tell her that you received a gift of clothes that cannot be returned and they don't fit your child but look like they would fit her. You can say that you don't want it to go to waste and it looks just her size. I think that that is less embarressing for a child than to have her teacher who she sees everyday approach her. If she is interested then you can tell her that the next day you will bring them to the bus stop or wherever you met so that she isn't concerned about meeting with a stranger. That's what I would do to ensure that she doesn't feel bad that she's getting charity.

    I just saw mereditheve's advice to give a gift voucher and I like that idea more! I think that it is perfect as it will enable her to buy what she wants with minimal embarressment.
  • JenniDaisy
    JenniDaisy Posts: 526 Member
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    Contact the school first and maybe they'll be able tp explain the situation, as in she might be a weird kid, or the family might be poor. Try and find out what is actually going on first because you might cause more problems, If I came home with a gift card or new clothes my parents would think I stole it.
    For the love of god don't approach the child, if a stranger tried to give your kid gifts because they saw them on their way to school everyday, how would you react? I would assume you were a pervert or stalker and call the police straight away.
  • csman49
    csman49 Posts: 1,100 Member
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    I have **** clothes... buy me some!

    Seriously
  • AglaeaC
    AglaeaC Posts: 1,974 Member
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    I think this is tricky, because you don't know the child or the family's situation. They might be in need financially, or the pants and boots could have belonged to a parent who recently passed away and the kid doesn't want to take them off.

    If you want to help, contact the school, say you've noticed this student in your neighborhood, you don't know the family's situation but you would like to offer to provide them with some clothes and school supplies for her if needed. The school will have a better idea how to approach the family or if/how assistance is needed.
    This. Well said.
  • FindingAmy77
    FindingAmy77 Posts: 1,266 Member
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    Ask the school if you could give an anonymous donation to their house. I wouldn't give monetary gift, but perhaps some clothes / school supplies could help her out. They won't give you her address, but if you tell them what you saw, they could perhaps do that for you instead, which would also seem much less embarassing to the family if they receive it without knowing you were the one that gave it.

    :drinker:
  • Tazzza
    Tazzza Posts: 11 Member
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    I want to offer another perspective. Going through this girl's school is the most intrusive way of simply giving her a gift. How would you feel if I went to your boss after seeing your work outfits weren't very stylish, and asked that your boss give you some new suits that I would pay for? It would be humiliating! Not only did some unknown stranger notice you, but instead of having the courage to stop you and simply show a kind gesture, they are now intruding in your work life.

    Give the girl a gift card for a nearby clothing store so she can pick out some new clothes if she wants. Show some kindness directly -- that's what kindness is.

    I completely agree with this post (except the gift voucher part). Pleeeeease don't go to her school, if she actually can't afford new clothes and you do that it'll make her even more embarrassed to go than she probably already is. And I know you're only trying to be nice but I would be pretty offended if somebody stopped me on the street and offered me a clothes voucher. I'd just leave it alone unless you get more information about her and her family situation. I don't think it sounds like she's poor, being poor doesn't mean you can't do your hair. She's more than likely just choosing to look that way.
  • RunnerStephe
    RunnerStephe Posts: 2,195
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    What if she is doing this on purpose? I was that kid. Mind your own business, unless you know she has a problem.
  • timberowl
    timberowl Posts: 331 Member
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    Maybe that's all she wants to wear? In middle school I had exactly two outfits that I wore. They were not fashionable, but I hated everything else.

    That occurred to me too. When I was in middle school I wore clothes that I wouldn't be caught dead in now.
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
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    My kid is 15... and she chooses to wear the same freaking clothes until the clothes run and hide from her... WHAT REALLY IRKS ME ABOUT my KID ( A GIRL btw) IS THAT... we used to spend close to $2k every August for clothes... THEN turn around and donate almost the entire wad of clothes to charity at the end of the school year... so this year... 10 minutes and $50 bucks at WalMart and we were DONE!!! and the kid was actually happy... SO.. don't assume... if you really want to know the score and help.. follow her home... then ring the doorbell and have a chat with her parents...

    Follow the kid home. Hmm let me know how that goes?

    Going through the school to get the kid help is a better option.
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
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    What if she is doing this on purpose? I was that kid. Mind your own business, unless you know she has a problem.

    This... Going to the kid's school? Seems incredibly intrusive and the assumptions being made are ridiculous.
  • WhatAnAss
    WhatAnAss Posts: 1,598 Member
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    Ask the school if you could give an anonymous donation to their house. I wouldn't give monetary gift, but perhaps some clothes / school supplies could help her out. They won't give you her address, but if you tell them what you saw, they could perhaps do that for you instead, which would also seem much less embarassing to the family if they receive it without knowing you were the one that gave it.

    This is a great idea!

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