compliment or insult?

engagedprincess

Today another gym member approached me once I had finished my workout and told me they were glad to see someone overweight working out so hard. I don't know whether to take that as a compliment or an insult?

BraveNewdGirl

Sounds like a misguided compliment to me. People often don't realize that their approval isn't necessarily wanted. It's a safe bet that they were attempting to be encouraging, but their comment fell a little flat. No matter how they meant it, though, you're kicking *kitten* just by hitting the gym and working out. Keep that ish up!

PurringMyrrh

I would take it as a compliment. I'm a total fat girl who is trying to improve. It's no secret.

GatorDeb1

I have a friend I met through the gym who told me after the fact that she first became drawn to me because I was the fat person who kept coming back and working hard and that wasn't the norm, but I was already skinny by then.

aethre

Take it as a compliment!

If she meant it as a compliment, and you take it as an insult, you'll feel hurt for no reason.

If she meant it as an insult, and you take it as a compliment, then her attempt to bring you down has been FOILED!

Keep smiling & working hard

cinds77

I'd take it as a compliment :-)

Iri_2

Take it as a compliment.

ninyagwa

Tact is not something everyone has. Sounds like they were trying to compliment you, but people have a hard time not defining us by our physical being "blonde", "fat", "the chick with the boobs."

Rest assured I think you're that AWESOME person at the gym, nice work.

sharonnj398

I think the intent was compliment.

Usually people are blunter when they are tendering an insult.

I had a similar situation. I gained 40 pounds in the last year. Someone who hadn't seen me mentioned it didn't look like I gained anything. I'm sure she meant it as a compliment, but I was also thought if I lost 40 pounds - no one would notice.

BowHunter1967

Probably meant as a compliment. But WTF, unless the person was a health professional they shouldn't be offering opinions about a somebody being overweight. There would have been better ways to handle that and still be motivating.

heatherlee33

Compliment. The complimentor is a bit of an idiot. But totally compliment. And right the hell on for working so hard that people are like, Damn!

Velum_cado

I think it was meant as a compliment, but it wasn't thought through, and would definitely rub me the wrong way. I would have thanked her and taken the opportunity to politely educate her on the many fat athletes out there, and how "fat" and "fit" are not mutually exclusive.

sengalissa

Compliment.

When I ran my first half marathon (as a thin person!), there was this middle aged, overweight man who beat me in the race! Man, he was fighting! During the race I thought about complimenting him because it must have been so much harder for him than for me since I weighed in maybe at 60% of his weight, if not 50%.

I was just impressed thinking about that and how I was struggling - this just to give you an idea of where this might have been coming from.

Edit: I did NOT say anything, just for the records, because I have a filter Some people don't have one but nonetheless might be well-intended.

willettamie

Always remember that this is YOUR GOAL...THIS IS YOUR PASSION! External comments, compliments, encouragements or even "back-handed" ones should not contribute what you feel about you and what you're doing for self. Stay focused so you can ward off distractions such as "compliment or insult?".

jbjb9001

Take it as a compliment. Just not very tactful.

stackhsc

An attempt at a compliment. Some people, well pretty well everyone, st some time or another try to give a compliment with out thinking about how the words could be perceived.
Heck, ever tell someone their kid looks soon much like them or like their partner, it's easy to see where they get their looks, wow dad they have your eyes? Well intentioned, well meaning, we get it all the time, ours are adopted, nope,not my eyes lol. I'd say this is the same idea, well meaning with out thinking about what they are saying.

tomcornhole

Compliment, just not well stated. This is my favorite compliment I have ever read and I want to say it to all the overweight folks working hard:

heartimpelled

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meshashesha2012

i'd take it as an insult, it's like those people who say stuff like you're so well travelled for a black person :laugh: :explode:

anyway, i've had people say that to me and i've usually replied "athletes come in all shapes and sizes so why are you assuming i'm not an athlete?" only once when the person was exceptionally condescending did i reply with a " **** you"

jeanlake

compliment - and hopefully a motivator -- some people don't have filters

deluxmary2000

I'm going to disagree with most people and day it was an insult. I'd be pissed.

seltzermint555

I would be insulted and tell the person their comment came across pretty freakin' rude.
Any grown *kitten* adult should seriously know better than to say something like that. Really.

hookilau

Today another gym member approached me once I had finished my workout and told me they were glad to see someone overweight working out so hard. I don't know whether to take that as a compliment or an insult?

If I can go so far as to assume you are overweight, then this is definitely a compliment, however, left-handed as it may be, I still can't help but make a wtf face -___-

Unknown

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jallforme3

Sounds like a compliment---just not said as eloquently as it should have been Good work though!

Alluminati

I find it incredibly patronizing, and that person probably should mind their own business. Such a "compliment" would not be well received by me if I were the recipient.
It probably wasn't said with any ill intent, but still, incredibly patronizing, just like that "hey fat person running" meme circulating around.

EDIT: Oh, I see someone already posted that meme. Awkwardddd.......

EDIT 2: wait, a complete stranger walked up to you and said this? Yeah, that's weird.

Yeah that fat person running post bugs me too. Is it okay if I walked up to my co-workers and congratulated them for not being jobless bums? Or pehaps walking up to old people and congratulating them for still breathing? I don't get why the recipient is supposed to feel proud or flattered (bad examples but the thought of doing those things actually amuses me) :laugh:

I agree with emily, I don't think the person was trying to insult. They were just being derpy.

JoRocka

Next time say
"thank you I appreciate the compliment- but perhaps you could just say 'you inspire me because you work hard' and leave it at that?"

and say have a nice day and go about your business.

meshashesha2012

I find it incredibly patronizing, and that person probably should mind their own business. Such a "compliment" would not be well received by me if I were the recipient.
It probably wasn't said with any ill intent, but still, incredibly patronizing, just like that "hey fat person running" meme circulating around.

EDIT: Oh, I see someone already posted that meme. Awkwardddd.......

EDIT 2: wait, a complete stranger walked up to you and said this? Yeah, that's weird.

Yeah that fat person running post bugs me too. Is it okay if I walked up to my co-workers and congratulated them for not being jobless bums? Or pehaps walking up to old people and congratulating them for still breathing? I don't get why the recipient is supposed to feel proud or flattered (bad examples but the thought of doing those things actually amuses me) :laugh:

I agree with emily, I don't think the person was trying to insult. They were just being derpy.

i find that usually when people say stuff like this it's because they feel entitled enough to say their assumptions publicly without being called out on it.

it's one thing to have assumptions and prejudices of people based on what they look like, because hey let's face it we all do it, but it's totally different to feel comfortable enough to speak those out in public as if to say "hey, good for you for being the one exception to something i accept as fact based on my limited view of the world and the other people in it".

GatorDeb1

That's why even though I'm almost half-weight (ha ha... get it... half-weight.... I'm easily amused) I NEVER compliment or encourage strangers at the gym, they probably look at me as a skinny girl. I do show my picture to people but if the picture doesn't come out first, I keep quiet (and it's more with people I'm interacting with, not complete strangers).

ninerbuff

Compliment. Most gym members were more than likely overweight when they started too, so seeing someone else who may have resembled themselves, but totally kicking *kitten* and doing much better than they did when they started, was probably an attempt to give you kudos.
One thing I've tried to teach my DD is that opinions of others on how you look, dress, how you act, etc. shouldn't affect you whether good or bad. She knows that I don't value hardly anyone's opinion when they say something derogatory about me. They don't like what I do, how I look etc., then that's there issue not mine.
Don't sweat the small stuff.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

TiberiusClaudis

Compliment...just not very well put.

But it does bring up the point, that regular gym goers DO watch who comes and goes. And those we see trying to make a change and transform are an inspiration to us. Really! How can it not be to see someone giving it all and not wonder...shouldn't i be working just as hard?