compliment or insult?

seltzermint555

I would be insulted and tell the person their comment came across pretty freakin' rude.
Any grown *kitten* adult should seriously know better than to say something like that. Really.

hookilau

Today another gym member approached me once I had finished my workout and told me they were glad to see someone overweight working out so hard. I don't know whether to take that as a compliment or an insult?

If I can go so far as to assume you are overweight, then this is definitely a compliment, however, left-handed as it may be, I still can't help but make a wtf face -___-

jallforme3

Sounds like a compliment---just not said as eloquently as it should have been Good work though!

Alluminati

I find it incredibly patronizing, and that person probably should mind their own business. Such a "compliment" would not be well received by me if I were the recipient.
It probably wasn't said with any ill intent, but still, incredibly patronizing, just like that "hey fat person running" meme circulating around.

EDIT: Oh, I see someone already posted that meme. Awkwardddd.......

EDIT 2: wait, a complete stranger walked up to you and said this? Yeah, that's weird.

Yeah that fat person running post bugs me too. Is it okay if I walked up to my co-workers and congratulated them for not being jobless bums? Or pehaps walking up to old people and congratulating them for still breathing? I don't get why the recipient is supposed to feel proud or flattered (bad examples but the thought of doing those things actually amuses me) :laugh:

I agree with emily, I don't think the person was trying to insult. They were just being derpy.

JoRocka

Next time say
"thank you I appreciate the compliment- but perhaps you could just say 'you inspire me because you work hard' and leave it at that?"

and say have a nice day and go about your business.

meshashesha2012

I find it incredibly patronizing, and that person probably should mind their own business. Such a "compliment" would not be well received by me if I were the recipient.
It probably wasn't said with any ill intent, but still, incredibly patronizing, just like that "hey fat person running" meme circulating around.

EDIT: Oh, I see someone already posted that meme. Awkwardddd.......

EDIT 2: wait, a complete stranger walked up to you and said this? Yeah, that's weird.

Yeah that fat person running post bugs me too. Is it okay if I walked up to my co-workers and congratulated them for not being jobless bums? Or pehaps walking up to old people and congratulating them for still breathing? I don't get why the recipient is supposed to feel proud or flattered (bad examples but the thought of doing those things actually amuses me) :laugh:

I agree with emily, I don't think the person was trying to insult. They were just being derpy.

i find that usually when people say stuff like this it's because they feel entitled enough to say their assumptions publicly without being called out on it.

it's one thing to have assumptions and prejudices of people based on what they look like, because hey let's face it we all do it, but it's totally different to feel comfortable enough to speak those out in public as if to say "hey, good for you for being the one exception to something i accept as fact based on my limited view of the world and the other people in it".

GatorDeb1

That's why even though I'm almost half-weight (ha ha... get it... half-weight.... I'm easily amused) I NEVER compliment or encourage strangers at the gym, they probably look at me as a skinny girl. I do show my picture to people but if the picture doesn't come out first, I keep quiet (and it's more with people I'm interacting with, not complete strangers).

ninerbuff

Compliment. Most gym members were more than likely overweight when they started too, so seeing someone else who may have resembled themselves, but totally kicking *kitten* and doing much better than they did when they started, was probably an attempt to give you kudos.
One thing I've tried to teach my DD is that opinions of others on how you look, dress, how you act, etc. shouldn't affect you whether good or bad. She knows that I don't value hardly anyone's opinion when they say something derogatory about me. They don't like what I do, how I look etc., then that's there issue not mine.
Don't sweat the small stuff.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

TiberiusClaudis

Compliment...just not very well put.

But it does bring up the point, that regular gym goers DO watch who comes and goes. And those we see trying to make a change and transform are an inspiration to us. Really! How can it not be to see someone giving it all and not wonder...shouldn't i be working just as hard?

itsbasschick

hopefully meant as a compliment by someone with a complete and utter lack of social skills.

but unless you ask - and i wouldn't bother - you'll never know.

i liked aethre's way of looking at it:

Take it as a compliment!

If she meant it as a compliment, and you take it as an insult, you'll feel hurt for no reason.

If she meant it as an insult, and you take it as a compliment, then her attempt to bring you down has been FOILED!

Keep smiling & working hard

jenilla1

Some ladies at the gym told me they were amazed that I could lift such heavy weights, that you'd never know it from looking at me. I was lifting almost 3 times the weight that they were. I'm sure it was meant in the spirit of a compliment, but just for an instant it kinda makes you think, "Wow, I must look really weak and wimpy." I smiled and took it as the compliment that it was.

Even though it was really poorly expressed, I think OP should take it as the compliment is was surely meant to be. Some people (and I can be guilty of this too) mean well but just lack eloquence. :flowerforyou:

benefiting

A compliment. It's rude that they said you were an overweight person but nether the less it's a compliment.

zoeysasha37

I think it was probably meant as a compliment . Sometimes people have Trouble putting their feelings into words, so it comes out sounding rude, even though it wasn't meant to be.
Either way, don't give up and Keep at it!!

sloth3toes

Tact is not something everyone has. Sounds like they were trying to compliment you, but people have a hard time not defining us by our physical being "blonde", "fat", "the chick with the boobs."

Rest assured I think you're that AWESOME person at the gym, nice work.

Better than being known as 'the guy with the boobs.'

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MyaPapaya75

I would say its an insult just by their statement that they are in a gym and "never" saw an overweight person before in the whoooooooole place working out so hard trying to better themselves ...its a gym of course they have seen an overweight person there before doing just that. I personally would have said "Wow you should open your eyes everyone here is trying to improve not just us "fatties" try looking harder....but Im sarcastic LOL

Scythe5

Yeah, I'd take it as a compliment, but clearly this person is just a tactless *kitten*.

If this individual has never seen an overweight person in the gym they must not go that often. I don't suppose the gym has Stick boy Saturdays and Fat *kitten* Fridays does it? Of course not.