Anyone over 30 with no kids and not married

BV1980

I am 34 and am not married, have no kids, and have never actually had a girlfriend/relationship.

Not having kids does not bother me. After a decade of helping out with my sister's 4 kids, I think I have learned that I don't want kids of my own. Having nieces and nephews is enough for me in that regard.

Not being married bothers me a bit, just because I had this hopeless romantic idea about it when I was younger and really looked forward to it. I am not married not by my own choice, but because I have never had the option since I have never been in a relationship. That part bothers me a lot. I want a relationship, but I have just always been rejected because of my weight. I love having freedom to do what I want, but not ever knowing what having a girlfriend is like or never experiencing intimacy really sucks. There are basic human desires not met and I do not think that is healthy at all (aka I am a 34 year old virgin loser who is frustrated).

MelsAuntie

I'm 41, have never been married and have never wanted kids. I'm looking at getting my tubes tied so that I don't have to worry about hormonal birth control anymore. No regrets here at all. Don't let anyone talk you into something you're unsure of or not ready for. You've got heaps of time and lots to experience before you start a family. Be your own person and stay true to you.

Good for you! The worst possible reason to breed is because someone else, usually your mom, wants you to have kids. If my husband hadn't had a vasectomy right after we were married, I would have had a tubal myself. Not everyone wants to be a mother! And far too many are that should never have had kids.

emdeesea

I'm 42, not married (I'm partnered), no kids.

Never wanted kids. To be honest, I like SOME kids, but in general, I'd just rather not be around them, and I felt that way when I was one of them. And I don't care that people might not like that. Tough crap.

The whole pregnancy thing just sort of freaks me out too. Something growing inside me?? Like a parasite?? Ew. No. Just no.

Unknown

This content has been removed.

FitFitzy331

I love this post. I'm 28, never married, no kids and not sure I actually want them in the long run. I used to work in NYC but now I'm in a small town in upstate New York and everyone up here who is my age, is married/divorced and or having at least their second child. I just moved in with my boyfriend (already a faux pas up here) and all comments I get on that are "well hopefully it'll work out and he'll marry you" or "well now that you're living together when are you going to have kids?" Lucky for me, my boyfriend and I are on the same page with this, possible marriage one day down the line when we're more financially secure THEN we'll discuss children. Neither of us are excited for the idea of caring for another human, we LOVE our cats and look forward to getting a place big enough for a puppy or two, but for now at least, our fur babies are more than enough for us.

WickedPineapple

I'll be 30 here in a couple months, married, no kids. I always knew I wanted a person and no real preference on children, except that the idea of being pregnant repels me a bit. However, not being married and/or not having kids is not awkward. Half my friends are married with children, the other half are single (one engaged). It's no issue. My mom never pressures me about kids because she firmly believes if you don't want kids, you shouldn't have them. I agree, and I also believe some people are happier single. I think/hope people are realizing more and more that marriage and kids don't necessarily equate a blissful existence.

philodox

Double post. Sorry. Trying to figure out how to edit and delete still. <.<

philodox

Not being married bothers me a bit, just because I had this hopeless romantic idea about it when I was younger and really looked forward to it. I am not married not by my own choice, but because I have never had the option since I have never been in a relationship. That part bothers me a lot. I want a relationship, but I have just always been rejected because of my weight. I love having freedom to do what I want, but not ever knowing what having a girlfriend is like or never experiencing intimacy really sucks. There are basic human desires not met and I do not think that is healthy at all (aka I am a 34 year old virgin loser who is frustrated).

BV180, I hope this doesn't seem callous, because it's truly meant to help you achieve what seems to be your dream: Let it go, and you have a better chance of getting it. Women can smell desperation from a hundred miles away, and if I'm reading your subtext right, it sounds like there's always been a quality of wanting it "too much" that's driven girls away. Not your weight, not your overall appearance, not anything about you -- just that overwhelming need. I wish I had an easy answer about how to shift that focus, but I really think it's necessary for you to get what you want. Best of luck to you.

shankasaurus

Not being married bothers me a bit, just because I had this hopeless romantic idea about it when I was younger and really looked forward to it.

Preach it. I think we all have this hopeless romantic idea of what relationships are. And then I got in one and all I could do was complain about it. haha.

El_Cunado

So is it socially akward to be a certain age and not have children?

No

p8liwag

There is nothing awkward about being single with no kids in your 30's .. You should enjoy your freedom while you can ♡

dkapplejacks1

I'm 30, not married, no kids and quite happy about it. I don't find it socially awkward at all.

jyogit

47 not married not interested tbh .. i learned at an early age i didn't want kids and i stuck to my guns.. relationships have come and gone but I'm happy in my life as it is.. relationships are hard work when you have been used to being alone for many years ..

the added expense of kids really puts me off..and theres always an ever changing supply of new babies to croon over if thats your thing .. i'm too selfish for all that stuff but at least i can admit to it..

Never feel uncomfortable in the fact that you are the odd one out .. lol

llUndecidedll

I'm about six months away from 30 and I decided a long time ago that I didn't want kids and I didnt want a marriage. I decided that if I do actually want kids, then I would adopt a kid that's at least about 3 years old. I also had decided that I would make sure the child is bilingual, but that's neither here nor there I guess.

AllOutof_Bubblegum

It may not be awkward...but if you aren't married and don'r have kids I may or may not have exactly nothing to talk to you about.

Having a husband and kids tends to shift one's priorities and interests to the extent that it's hard to even relate with people who don't. Not always, but very often. At least for me. I can't speak for everyone.

Joannah700

I feel that it's only awkward when people have ask, and you can't be honest because of circumstance.

In some ways, this is just as touchy a question as the 'are you pregnant?' question and I don't think it should be asked unless the person brings it up.

But if it's a personal choice? No, not awkward.

KameHameHaaaa

29, unmarried, no plans on having kids or being married. It's just me tho', to each their own... XD

odywithaj

I LOVE the Oatmeal!!!

shireeniebeanie

im 31, no kids, no husband. i do want those things, it just hasnt happened. i find the question "what are you waiting for?" a bit silly because you cant force it. im not gonna go marry the next guy i meet and have babies immediately just because im 31. i want it, but if its not meant to happen then i guess it wont.

Same for me.

paulperryman

going on 42 end of February, no kids, no marriage plans. Hell i didn't even contemplate a girlfriend until the past year, i never thought i was good enough or good looking enough until someone on here showed me otherwise, still single but atleast there's a chance out there for even the lowest social swans of us out there.

As for age who cares, my brother didn't get married and have kids til he was 38.

hbrittingham

My husband was 30, never married and no kids when we met. That was 24 years ago. When it's meant to happen, it will. We never had children together, but he raised my son from the time he was 2 1/2 and was his only real father. Not everyone wants to have kids, and I can totally understand that.

Unknown

This content has been removed.

EmotionalEater84

30, single and no children .. I'm with you OP. It will happen when the time's right. No need to rush and I'm honestly happy I didn't marry at a younger age. I'm not sure about you, but all my friends that married in their 20's have children and are divorced now - sad. Such a throw away society we live in

WhitneyAnnabelle

I'm 27. Does that count? Plus my boyfriend has four kids and a vasectomy. I am in constant pain over the realization that I may never have kids/another marriage (I'm part of that sad statistic). Oh well. haha.

Skinny_minny_mo

31, not married, and no kids.

i often get the question in a 'you must be doing something wrong' kinda way.

it will come - i'm not in a rush

melifornia

What an amazing thread! I had no idea there were so many people - especially women - like me out there!

I'm 39, never been married, no kids. I do want to get married someday, but haven't found someone I can't live without yet. Never felt the urge to procreate, although if my partner really wanted children, I'd go for it.

In my 20s and early 30s, I did have a lot of people asking when I was going to get married and have children. My older brother and his wife were keeping the bloodlines going, and when the first few babies were born (they have 10 children now), people would ask when it was my turn. Friends, family, strangers...everyone seemed to have an opinion about my reproductive timeline. I'd just smile and say something noncommittal and proceed with my life. Now when people comment on my childfree state, I tell them there's no need for me to have children - with 12 nieces and nephews, our gene pool is secure!

runner475

Is anyone who is over 30 and not married and have no kids yet? I am 29 and I don't have either of those but when people ask thry always say "what are you waiting for"? I just feel like when its meant to happen it will happen and I don't really care about it.


So is it socially akward to be a certain age and not have children?

Live for yourself. Do what you wanna do and what your mind pleases.

You are given one life. Don't spend it by pleasing the world.

Skinny_minny_mo

What an amazing thread! I had no idea there were so many people - especially women - like me out there!

I'm 39, never been married, no kids. I do want to get married someday, but haven't found someone I can't live without yet. Never felt the urge to procreate, although if my partner really wanted children, I'd go for it.

In my 20s and early 30s, I did have a lot of people asking when I was going to get married and have children. My older brother and his wife were keeping the bloodlines going, and when the first few babies were born (they have 10 children now), people would ask when it was my turn. Friends, family, strangers...everyone seemed to have an opinion about my reproductive timeline. I'd just smile and say something noncommittal and proceed with my life. Now when people comment on my childfree state, I tell them there's no need for me to have children - with 12 nieces and nephews, our gene pool is secure!

:noway:

TEN KIDS? pray tell how they still have their sanity

SpicesOfLife

I'm 27. Does that count? Plus my boyfriend has four kids and a vasectomy. I am in constant pain over the realization that I may never have kids/another marriage (I'm part of that sad statistic). Oh well. haha.

isnt a vasectomy reversible, if he ever changes his mind?

dswolverine

I'm 29, no kids and will be married soon- though I have NO burning desire whatsoever to rush into having kids. It will probably happen one day, but for now i'm loving childless life.