Why did I try lifting...

yopeeps025

Men make me very nervous in general, especially large scary-looking men. It sounds kind of silly, but I go to school at one of the most athletic campuses in the country. If you aren't tiny and fit, you're setting yourself up for ridicule at the co-ed gym.

The trainers are for the varsity athletes. I'm not going to embarrass myself.

This sounds like social anxiety. I have it (though not this bad) and I've known several people with it (you sound just like them). You may want to talk to a counsler about it. I know it sucks to be thrown out of your comfort zone and it's even worse if other people are around but you have to work through it.

I used to sit at my desk starving because I didn't want to go to the break room while there were people in there to heat up my lunch. So I would sit for 2 hours while everyone else finished their lunch shifts so I could go eat. It sounds rediculous, I know but it seemed better than having to go in there while there were 10 or so people in there.

Well one day I got tired of it and I marched in there, as hard as is was, to get my lunch out of the fridge and heat it up. You know what happened? Nothing. No one even noticed me in there. I keep pushing myself to do this every day even though I don't want to.

I do find that it's easier to do things around other people if I'm with someone I know. Do you have a friend that you could go to the co-ed gym with? The two of you can work together and it's a lot easier.

If you truely do have social anxiety, you need to find a way past it or you will end up a shut in. Go see a doctor and explain what you're feeling so you can get help.

I do have social anxiety, and I have worked past it in almost every respect...except fitness/nutrition. I used to never be able to go to office hours with professors or ask questions in class, or ask friends to socialize. I've gotten past all those. Working out is the only thing still in my way.

The time I went to the co-ed gym, I brought my boyfriend, who isn't fit either. It turned out to be extremely embarrassing.

Elaborate on bold?

I was so unfit that I couldn't handle a damn stationary bike for fifteen minutes. I still can't. He was trying to be nice about it, but I could tell he was baffled that I was so unfit. I now work out alone.

Go see a psychiatrist.

Psychiatrist or psychologist?

randomtai

Psychiatrist or psychologist?

PikaKnight

I think first, and foremost you need to see a mental health professional. You have way more important issues going on that need some immediate treatment than not being able to lift 8 lb dumbbells.

QFT

yopeeps025

Psychiatrist or psychologist?

Well they do different things. One has more therapy then the other. As of late both can prescribe medication.

wibutterflymagic

I just don't feel it's worth it. It's not going to make any difference. I'm not aiming to be a powerlifter, I just want to look less gross in my clothes.

SERIOUSLY?? With kind of attitude you aren't going to accomplish anything in life. I understand you are very young and you expect immediate results and you expect it to be easy right of the bat but you won't and it's not. That isn't how life works. You have to work at changing your body and if you don't think that's worth the time and effort then you will always be weak and unhappy. We all started some where with our fitness and you will have to work at it too.

Without knowing some basics of lifting you are going to be very confused and yes will probably quit but that's when you have to put some effort into researching what to do. You want to start off at lower weight and higher reps. For example, if you do a bicep curl with 8lbs and if you can only do 6-7 reps then you need to go lighter so you can do more like 12-15 reps. And your last couple reps should have you working to accomplish them but not completely to muscle fatigue(absolutely can't do more). Then when you can do the 12-15 easily increase your weight and drop your reps to 8-10. This is how you cycle and how you build up your muscles. You won't be doing every exercise at the same weight. Your legs are most likely stronger so you will be able to start with a higher weight then upper body exercises. And even different upper body exercises will be at different weights because of the different muscle groups you work. This is normal and just how it is. We all have areas that are stronger than others. I can do bicep curls at a much higher weight than I can tricep extensions....just the way it is but that can changed with consistent work.

You are a female---you won't become a bodybuilder without doing major food and lifestyle changes. We are not built that way. You will lose fat and become trimmer---which is what we all want right?

Most gyms offer some free initial sessions with one of their trainers----take huge advantage of that. Have them explain some of the machines to you and also see if they would give you an initial lifting routine. Don't let them blow you off by just showing you around the gym......get some good solid basics on proper form and what you can do to begin your lifting.

They only way you will make any changes is to bust your *kitten* and put in the work. It won't happen overnight and it won't always be easy. It also won't happen if you are eating junk. You have to fuel your body with good wholesome, nutritious food and cut out soda, chips, pizza etc. You can have those once in a while but not on a regular basis. Don't completely strip everything you like from your life otherwise you will go crazy and binge or quit completely. If your picture is you then from what I see you look like you're at a healthy weight already so I woudn't be too concerned about that. Work on getting stronger, losing the fat and build the muscle so you aren't "skinny fat".

CaffeinatedConfectionist

Go see a psychiatrist.

Psychiatrist or psychologist?

Both could be helpful, one for counseling and one for medication prescription if necessary. If the OP's anxiety is as bad as she describes, there are lots of extremely helpful antianxiety meds out there, as well as antidepressants and mood stabilizers if those are concerns, but good old therapy is also pretty damn helpful.

OP, if you would like some specific suggestions on bodyweight routines or lifting programs for people just getting started, there are some solid suggestions already in this thread, like Nerdfitness's beginning boyweight workout (http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2009/12/09/beginner-body-weight-workout-burn-fat-build-muscle/), or New Rules of Lifting for Woman.

I started on MFP about three years ago, and I did nothing but walk when I first started. Now I lift consistently and with heavy (for me) weights. I'm currently building back up to my previous weights after an injury, but I feel awesome. I can carry all of my groceries in one hand, I can toss about bags of cat litter or babies with one hand (well, not literally tossing babies, but you get the idea).

Lifting and fitness has done SO much for both my mental and physical health. I feel good about myself, I LIKE myself, when I feel strong. I have confidence, and I am a badass. It has made all the difference. Feel free to message me, if you like. No one can relate to your exact situation, and I didn't suffer from the same physical problems you do, but I also battle with anxiety, and to an extent depression. Lifting (and fitness in general) has helped both of those.

malavika413

I just don't feel it's worth it. It's not going to make any difference. I'm not aiming to be a powerlifter, I just want to look less gross in my clothes.

SERIOUSLY?? With kind of attitude you aren't going to accomplish anything in life. I understand you are very young and you expect immediate results and you expect it to be easy right of the bat but you won't and it's not. That isn't how life works. You have to work at changing your body and if you don't think that's worth the time and effort then you will always be weak and unhappy. We all started some where with our fitness and you will have to work at it too.

Without knowing some basics of lifting you are going to be very confused and yes will probably quit but that's when you have to put some effort into researching what to do. You want to start off at lower weight and higher reps. For example, if you do a bicep curl with 8lbs and if you can only do 6-7 reps then you need to go lighter so you can do more like 12-15 reps. And your last couple reps should have you working to accomplish them but not completely to muscle fatigue(absolutely can't do more). Then when you can do the 12-15 easily increase your weight and drop your reps to 8-10. This is how you cycle and how you build up your muscles. You won't be doing every exercise at the same weight. Your legs are most likely stronger so you will be able to start with a higher weight then upper body exercises. And even different upper body exercises will be at different weights because of the different muscle groups you work. This is normal and just how it is. We all have areas that are stronger than others. I can do bicep curls at a much higher weight than I can tricep extensions....just the way it is but that can changed with consistent work.

You are a female---you won't become a bodybuilder without doing major food and lifestyle changes. We are not built that way. You will lose fat and become trimmer---which is what we all want right?

Most gyms offer some free initial sessions with one of their trainers----take huge advantage of that. Have them explain some of the machines to you and also see if they would give you an initial lifting routine. Don't let them blow you off by just showing you around the gym......get some good solid basics on proper form and what you can do to begin your lifting.

They only way you will make any changes is to bust your *kitten* and put in the work. It won't happen overnight and it won't always be easy. It also won't happen if you are eating junk. You have to fuel your body with good wholesome, nutritious food and cut out soda, chips, pizza etc. You can have those once in a while but not on a regular basis. Don't completely strip everything you like from your life otherwise you will go crazy and binge or quit completely. If your picture is you then from what I see you look like you're at a healthy weight already so I woudn't be too concerned about that. Work on getting stronger, losing the fat and build the muscle so you aren't "skinny fat".

Thank you for your encouragement. I haven't joined a gym, so I can't see a trainer. But I did download The New Rules of Lifting for Women and am in the middle of it as of now. Also, regarding my appearance, you're likely looking at my little sister next to me. I'm not at a healthy weight.

CaffeinatedConfectionist

Psychiatrist or psychologist?

Well they do different things. One has more therapy then the other. As of late both can prescribe medication.

I don't believe this is true everywhere - only in a few states. None of the psychologists in my organization can prescribe meds. Plus we also have other counselors, like LCSWs, who cannot prescribe medications but who are badass mental health professionals.

yopeeps025

Psychiatrist or psychologist?

Well they do different things. One has more therapy then the other. As of late both can prescribe medication.

I don't believe this is true everywhere - only in a few states. None of the psychologists in my organization can prescribe meds. Plus we also have other counselors who are APNs or LCSWs who cannot prescribe medications but who are badass mental health professionals.

I remember reading about it when I decided on my career path of a lot of school to Psy. D.

fbmandy55

I just don't feel it's worth it. It's not going to make any difference. I'm not aiming to be a powerlifter, I just want to look less gross in my clothes.

You're 19 years old. Do you want to continue to be weak for the rest of your life? What happens when you have kids and you can't pick them up past the age of 2?

OP can't lift 16 pounds, she wouldn't be able to lift a 1 year old let alone 2 year old!

CaffeinatedConfectionist

I don't believe this is true everywhere - only in a few states. None of the psychologists in my organization can prescribe meds. Plus we also have other counselors who are APNs or LCSWs who cannot prescribe medications but who are badass mental health professionals.

I remember reading about it when I decided on my career path of a lot of school to Psy. D.

You'd probably know, then ^^. I know a lot of states have been pushing for this, but from what I've read not a lot have yet passed legislation permitting psychologists to prescribe meds, but I'm also having a hard time finding resources more recent than early 2000s, sooo.

Also, don't want to hijack the thread, but thanks for the food for thought I have reading to do...!

ETA: Although I did find this article from January. I was pretty sure Missouri (where I'm currently at) did not allow them to prescribe, so I'm glad I'm not totally crazy. http://net.acpe.org/services/LeadDoc/Stories/2014/story1-0130.html

dbmata

Psychiatrist or psychologist?

Well they do different things. One has more therapy then the other. As of late both can prescribe medication.

Oh really? Both can? Then a psychologist.

yopeeps025

I don't believe this is true everywhere - only in a few states. None of the psychologists in my organization can prescribe meds. Plus we also have other counselors who are APNs or LCSWs who cannot prescribe medications but who are badass mental health professionals.

I remember reading about it when I decided on my career path of a lot of school to Psy. D.

You'd probably know, then ^^. I know a lot of states have been pushing for this, but from what I've read not a lot have yet passed legislation permitting psychologists to prescribe meds, but I'm also having a hard time finding resources more recent than early 2000s, sooo.

Also, don't want to hijack the thread, but thanks for the food for thought I have reading to do...!

This is not a hijack. She might really needs this to get pass her issues so then she can do what needs to be done to better herself. Like I said before lifting is a very small issue to what I am seeing.

CaffeinatedConfectionist

This is not a hijack. She might really needs this to get pass her issues so then she can do what needs to be done to better herself. Like I said before lifting is a very small issue to what I am seeing.

True, though OP also said she is already involved in mental health treatment, so is presumably aware of this information. But it can't hurt to clarify.

(ETA: although it wasn't clear from her post whether she is currently receiving treatment, which I would agree would be an EXTREMELY good idea. But then, I'm of the opinion that we all need therapy).

Also, from what I'm reading, only Louisiana and New Mexico currently allow psychologists to prescribe. This is an old article, but NAMI knows their stuff, and other more recent sources, like the article I linked earlier, seem to verify it: http://www.nami.org/Template.cfm?Section=Issue_Spotlights&template=/ContentManagement/ContentDisplay.cfm&ContentID=8375. Also, American Psychological Association: http://www.apa.org/support/about/psych/prescribe.aspx#answer

malavika413

I've seen a counselor for mental health here at my university. She's the reason I've been able to make the progress I already have. Before, if I ever worked out, I used to do it in my dorm room with the door locked. I feel these next few steps are ones I have to make without such help. But thank you all for your concern about my mental well being. I'm not perfect, but I'm getting better.

CaffeinatedConfectionist

I've seen a counselor for mental health here at my university. She's the reason I've been able to make the progress I already have. Before, if I ever worked out, I used to do it in my dorm room with the door locked. I feel these next few steps are ones I have to make without such help. But thank you all for your concern about my mental well being. I'm not perfect, but I'm getting better.

That's awesome - good for you! I hope you are continuing to see her, since mental health is a work in progress, like you point out. So many people do not get the help they need, so it's nice to see someone who is. Especially if you do end up consulting with a nutritionist and your primary care physician (but be aware that many physicians don't really know that much about proper nutrition or how to lose weight. Or RNs, either. The RN in my office is vehemently in support of low-fat, vlc diets, and refuses to reconsider her position - which is why many people request to be referred to a specialist). Maybe you can try seeing a different nutritionist than you saw before, if the first one was not helpful, and get a second opinion. I've never actually seen a nutritionist, so I have nothing to contribute on that particular subject, but it does sound like you have physical health concerns to address.

And really, lifting weights is worth it. I don't want to entirely lose sight of the original topic, though the other issues people have brought up are totally valid. Lifting can be hard to get into, but once you have a routine established it is, as someone else said, addictive. I love being able to look back on my day and being able to say that I accomplished at least one concrete, positive thing. Some days work, school, relationships can feel disheartening or disappointing, but working out, even if I feel like I didn't hit my maximum potential, always make me feel good about myself. I am doing something productive. I am making a better me, physically and mentally.


ET remove double quote.

smarthart

If you don't improve your muscle tone you will never feel strong. You don't have to lift weights however to get strong. Try some good old fashion push-ups. Start on your sink...no kidding. Stand in front of your kitchen sink with your hands on the sink base with straight arms and then lower your chest to the sink. Keep moving your legs away from the sink base to get more of an angle...this will make it harder. When those get easier do them on something lower - like your bathtub or a table (be sure it won't move on you). Keep working until you can do them on the floor. If 8 pounds is to much ... lift a can of soup! It doesn't matter where you start... just keep going.

dbmata

I've seen a counselor for mental health here at my university. She's the reason I've been able to make the progress I already have. Before, if I ever worked out, I used to do it in my dorm room with the door locked. I feel these next few steps are ones I have to make without such help. But thank you all for your concern about my mental well being. I'm not perfect, but I'm getting better.

While I appreciate the desire, you really should avail yourself of the help now and as much as you can before you are outside of those hallowed halls, and have to pay for those treatments or the health insurance for them.

yopeeps025

I've seen a counselor for mental health here at my university. She's the reason I've been able to make the progress I already have. Before, if I ever worked out, I used to do it in my dorm room with the door locked. I feel these next few steps are ones I have to make without such help. But thank you all for your concern about my mental well being. I'm not perfect, but I'm getting better.

This is very good. A big positive.

nomorebingesgirl2014

Bump

liannexxx

Let's just lift together and progress

If you really thought it wasn't worth it (like DEEEEEPPP down) you wouldn't have posted about asking if it was.

Instead of quitting let's just try it for 3 months and see how we get on and how great we look on new years eve

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