WHY did you gain weight?

caimay149

I was watching the Biggest Loser last night, and they place a huge emphasis on the psychology behind obesity. One of the trainers told a girl that unless she opens up, she'll lose the weight and then gain it back, because she hasn't dealt with the issues behind her weight.

It got me thinking about mine. But I don't think I have any. I just like food, and I suck at dieting for long enough to get the weight off. And if I do, well, like I said - I like food. Granted, I've had some tough breaks, like my dad passing away when I was 14, and that's when the weight really became a problem, but I also started dieting around that age, and the diet/binge cycle became pretty bad, which I think is partly why I've had a hard time controlling myself around food. I don't think I can blame my dad for this 14 years later!

So, what do you all think? Is there always an emotional reason for becoming obese? How do you identify/deal with it?

(PS, I know there's a lot of controversy over BL. Don't really want to debate that here, though )

Beanogirl

I can only speak for myself and with the greatest respect to everyone out there who may have issues or health problems, I gained weight because I was greedy and ate to much.

Mandea0321

I found that a lot of people become obese because food is one thing in their lives that they have full control over....or at least they think they have full control over it, but what they don't realize is that the food actually has control over them. It is similar with anorexia . That is one study I've seen anyway. The other is like you are saying, emotional eating/ not eating... I gained significant weight when my son and father died within about a year of each other (among a few other really important people in my life passing away within that year as well...) What I found helped me though is seeing a psychologist about what the root of the problem really is.
Maybe you feel out of control with things in your life like I said above and food is the only thing in your life you can really "control" but maybe it is something deeper that you just haven't come to terms with yet.... You don't even need to see a psychologist, just try having a seriously deep conversation with a close friend ect....

deluxmary2000

Hmmm... good question. I've never been more than a little bit overweight, but when I have gained weight that wasn't related to being pregnant, it was becasue of being busy and poor planning. For instance, I tend to procrastinate. So rather than pack a healthy breakfast, lunch, etc the night before, I just tell myself "I'll do it in the morning". And then of course I don't, and I stop at McDonald's instead because I'm "in a rush". Or I don't go shopping on Sunday and tell myself I'll do it Monday night. But then Monday night is insanely busy, so we go out to eat instead. Etc, etc.
I tend to do much better with weight loss when I plan things out in advance.

oedipa_maas

Besides the obvious "I ate too much," trying to soothe painful feelings is the main reason I have had such a difficult relationship with food. In the case of my weight gain a few years ago, my beloved little pug died of kidney disease and I pretty much grieved with buckets of food. In general, this is what I've done, though. I didn't use the tools I had from years of therapy--both behavioral and talk--to handle my feelings in ways that didn't hurt my body. I've had a fair bit of trauma in my life, and overindulgence in things that could numb me--alcohol, drugs, food--was my main way of dealing with fear, grief, anger, loss etc. I'm sober now, so food is the last thing I need to work out. Slowly, I am disconnecting from food as a cure--since that "cure" is destructive. I work on the simple health part--eat less, move more--and am starting to use other tools to cope with pain.

NikkiJanye73

I gained while in a miserable marraige, I comfort ate and now im through that and out the other side its time I started looking after myself again. I also went from a very active job as a horse riding instructor to working in an office. But mainly I didnt think I was improtant enough through my marraige to bother with what i looked like. But with a great new partner who supports me i everthing I do I wan to do this for me, so I feel good again.

EmotionalEater84

I gained weight because I was lazy, ate the wrong foods and too much of it.

The underlying reason .. well, I think self esteem and confidence has a lot to do with it. I have to learn to love myself in order to keep the weight off. Hopefully my journey will lead up to that

SingRunTing

I'm apologizing in advance if this offends anyone.

I think that you can get overweight to slightly obese by just the "yummy food is yummy" mentality.

I think that if you are 100+ lbs overweight (like all the people on the biggest loser), there is some deeper reason to why you gained the weight and kept it on. Maybe its the control thing like pp mentioned. I don't know.

I was "only" 80-90lbs overweight, but I know that there is/was some unmet need in my life that I was fulfilling with food. I'm trying to come to grips with some of the damaging things that influential people in my life put me through. I'm slowly building up my confidence and self esteem. I know that if I don't deal with these things, that the weight will come back on.

I'm sure that there are some people who are morbidly obese who don't have emotional baggage tied to their weight gain. There's always an exception to the rule. But I think that overall, there is some level of issues that need to be dealt with when it comes to obesity.

Sallyllama

I'm pretty sure I gained because A) I was lazy and I met my husband and we became fat and happy together. It turns out that I found out I have PCOS, which makes it harder to lose weight, but I won't let that be an excuse. Since I've been diagnosed, I've lost all of the weight that I have tracked on MFP. That's why I won't let myself use it as a reason I can't lose!

darrensurrey

Because I started (wait for it) eating more and moving less.

xjeanie

My weight is so bad because of many different reasons, so that's why it's so hard to lose it.

When I was little, we were very, very, very, very poor. At times, when I had to live with my biological mother, I would have no idea if I was going to have any meal at home, so I ate every single bit of my free school lunch and breakfast. It didn't matter if I was full to bursting or not. There I was, 5 years old, actually scared of starving to death. So now whenever I get food, doesn't matter how much it is, unless I'm actively thinking about it, I eat it all, whether I'm still hungry or not. I don't even necessarily enjoy it.

Along with bad habits, was that when we did have food, we weren't really given good food (healthy) or appropriate portions (too much for a small child). Then we were forced to eat it all, hungry or not. That's still stuck with me.

I never had the option of choosing what I got to eat until I got kicked out at 17 years old. I had to eat what was made, or nothing. So...heavily fried, fatty, breaded southern food. About the time I was hitting puberty when a lot of kids would lose their baby fat, I just had more and more.

I was able to keep it slightly in check for a while, but eventually my PCOS kicked in full force and losing weight just wasn't something I was able to do on my own. Trust me, I tried... which just depressed me and food became one of the only things that kept me happy.

So here I am today, on medication. The weight is coming off..slowly, depressingly slow, but at least it's coming off.

irenepn

I used to watch Biggest Loser and wonder that too. I could never really pin anything down for myself and always thought they just pushed people on that show just for the drama. It wasn't until I did a juice fast that I realised just how obsessed with food I was. Not having to cook (which I love to do) really brought home to me how much time I spent planning what to eat, when to cook,when to eat....it was crazy. Another thing I noticed is that I'm greedy. Plain and simple. I couldn't see my partner have a second helping without having one too. It was like a competition - the more he ate, the more I ate. I realised just recently that I need to lose this "reward" mentality. If I dieted for a few days I thought I deserved a treat come the weekend....then the snacks and the wine would come out and it was back to square one on Monday. So, I'm on my last diet and switching over to a consistent healthy eating plan with regular exercise. :bigsmile:

rfsatar

Because I started (wait for it) eating more and moving less.

So This.

Jennifer10723

I gained weight during/after my divorce. I was so sad and heart broken (he cheated on me and got the girl pregnant and she showed up on my doorstep flaunting her baby belly) Then .. I was just used to eating that much food and for every emotion I was feeling I ate it.

It wasn't until after I started to deal with all that emotion and unhappiness .. and realized that no one should be in charge of my happiness but me .. that I decided to lose weight. I tried here and there, but I didn't really want it that badly. I was just fine staying in my miserable little bubble. That the more miserable I was .. the more he would feel bad for what he had done. Only .. he didn't care. It was just hurting me. As long as I was sad and miserable, I didn't have to deal with where my life was now. That I was 40 and alone with a child. Not a whole lot of money and without a home.

I realize now that I am much better off. That I was too dependent upon him for my happiness and well being.

Francl27

Because I love food and I didn't care for sports or being active that much. It's as simple as that. I grew up eating food I loved when I wanted it, never caring of what amount was reasonable and what wasn't, and I was always overweight but it wasn't that bad because I walked a lot, then I moved to the US, where you pretty much have to take the car to go anywhere, and I gained 60 pounds or something.

Honestly it gets a bit annoying that everyone thinks there is always an emotional/psychological reason for overeating. Some of us just really love food. Add to that a special love for sweets, and there you go. In my case too I've never had a job that really took my mind off things (my only two jobs in the last 10 years were in French bakeries... need I say more?), so I've always had a lot of time to be bored and think about food. Easier to think about food and eat when your mind is not busy (and I don't think there's anything 'emotional' about this. When I'm bored I think of everything I like, and food just happens to be one of them).

BethClicks

I was a very active and fit child, once I entered my teenage years I became markedly less active. I noticed that I started to put on weight when I was about 15 and started a classic binge/diet cycle that has carried me to where I am today. That, coupled with a mostly inactive lifestyle and a general permissive attitude about food has netted me a 120 gain in 20 years I'm working on being more sane about food, battling against my ingrained 'diet' dogma and several food allergies. It's a slow process, but I'm now headed in the right direction.

tcxyz2011

I was very gangly and thin as a child and then when I went to a 4 year university I became 'skinny fat'. I could eat whatever I wanted and still maintain a nice figure however I was by no means healthy. After graduating from college in 2011, I am about 35 pounds heavier then I should be. Also, I started seeing my now fiancée in 2009 and we have both become comfortable and both of gain love weight, . I am trying to get back to exercising and eating healthy and be healthy overall.

MamaRiss

My weight gain didn't actually happen until I became pregnant with my daughter. When I had my first ultrasound at 19 weeks, the doctors were concerned about her size and instructed me to eat as much as I could, especially protien and fat. At that point I had only gained at most 5 pounds. By the time she was born, and multiple ultrasounds with doctors telling me to eat more later, I had gained about 35 pounds, and none of it had gone to her. After 4-5 months of eating as much as I could, it was a habit, and it continued for the next few years. Then when trying to get pregnant again, I had multiple losses which led to depression, and my weight went up to 170. Finally got pregnant with a healthy baby, but again he was small. So I was having to eat tons of protien and fat again, wich again didn't go to him. After giving birth, I was at 190 pounds. We moved shortly after he was born, and I hated the country we were in, so depression and comfort food kept my weight up. I'm almost back to my pre-doctors orders weight, and I'm so proud of myself. Now to get back to the weight I was when I first started thinking I was fat (120)

caimay149

Wow, interesting (and diverse) responses!

I think a LOT of the reason I eat too much is through boredom. I don't have a satisfying job, but I'm working on that.

I just find myself in situations where I could either go to McDonald's at the station on my way home, or not go to McDonalds. Why can't I say no?! Because it's delicious, or because I have some emotional issue?

I suppose we'll find out!

zyxst

1. Molested as a child (being fat didn't stop it)
2. I like food
3. Depression (food doesn't treat me like *kitten*)
4. Social anxiety (food doesn't treat me like *kitten*)
5. Boredom

margie8109

I hate that the experts try to say that if you do this, or if you skip that you will lose the weight. I believe that each of us is individual. Each of us is totally unique - so there is no one right answer or solution for any of us. For each of us it is an individual journey and thanks to this site - there are always lots of people offering help, advice, and friendship.

Now it is Monday and I have to pick myself up, put on my "big girl pants", and get myself back on track. Thanks for making me think about what I've been doing to hurt my diet for the last couple of days.