Trying to teach someone how to cook/shop/understand food

shnoots
shnoots Posts: 82 Member
My grandmother has somehow made it into her 60's and has no idea how to prepare food. She grew up as an incredibly picky eater, and never made it past that point. She's currently the primary caregiver of my youngest sister (9), and the wife of a newly diagnosed diabetic. I live 3 hours away, and can't be there physically to show her the ropes, but have directed her to helpful resources like America's Test Kitchen/Cook's Country, and this website.

Cutting to the chase, she's an older lady. She is having difficulty sifting through the multitude of conflicting nutritional information available in the world. I spent the majority of our visit today convincing her it was ok, and preferable, for her diabetic husband to have vegetables ("but they have carbs!") and that a low carb/low fat diet was NOT how a 9 year old should be eating. I emphasized eating real foods, vegetables, lean meats, and whole grains, but she's still at a loss for what to actually buy. I lost her at "chickpeas" for a bit.

Weekend after next I'm making another trip over to help her go shopping and get her started with some basic staple recipes, but there's a lot of work to be done.

What resources can you recommend for helping her get a handle on not only what to buy, but how to prepare it?
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Replies

  • RodaRose
    RodaRose Posts: 9,562 Member
    First of all, she should be cooking almost the same things for the grandfather and the 9 year old.
    Rather than make her rethink her whole way of cooking, show her how to tweak some meals that she already cooks.
    Focus on helping her cook vegetables if she does not already do that.
    What does she like to make?
  • cookmtn
    cookmtn Posts: 156 Member
    Wow, this is a tall order! Allrecipes.com is a good site and they have diabetic recipes as well. Diabetes.org has recipes as well. If she can do basics like mac n cheese (with whole wheat pasta, can't tell the difference)for your sister, bake chicken breasts, put together a salad, she can start there. It might be easier to cook diabetic friendly recipes and then supplement those with kid friendlier stuff.
    What or how to buy is harder. You taking her shopping is probably the best way.
    I'm sure there are cooking videos on youtube that may be easier to show her how to cook. Hope this helps.
  • shnoots
    shnoots Posts: 82 Member
    First of all, she should be cooking almost the same things for the grandfather and the 9 year old.
    Rather than make her rethink her whole way of cooking, show her how to tweak some meals that she already cooks.
    Focus on helping her cook vegetables if she does not already do that.
    What does she like to make?

    The issue isn't making her rethink he entire way of cooking, but rather teaching her to cook. She lives off of eggs. I'm not even joking. She'll make burgers, stew, fried potatoes, or canned vegetables for the other two. But that's it. The truth of saying "she can't cook," is so unbelievably raw it boggles the mind. It defies comprehension.

    We walked into her pantry.
    I said, "Do you like enchiladas?"
    "No."
    "...Have you ever had them?"
    "Well, no, but they sound Mexican."
    ".......Ok....Well look, here's some canned chicken, and some rotel, and...do you have any tomato sauce?"
    "No, I don't buy that."
    "...Oh, here it is. Do you have tortillas and cheese?"
    "Tortillas are the round white things, right?"
    "Yes. Now here's how you put these all together and make something edible."
    "Oooh, I wouldn't have thought of that...but the tomatoes have carbs don't they?"
    "...it's 2% of your DRI..."
  • kikityme
    kikityme Posts: 472 Member
    As a diabetic, there are different rules I don't think you're taking into account.

    Whole grains, half grains, super good looking grains, they just aren't good for diabetics.

    Yes, I eat vegetables, but only low glycemic ones.

    Eggs are pretty darn fantastic.

    Low-fat is often higher in carbs than full-fat.
    Always mix a protein with the carb.
    Spread your carbs out through the day. I'm on 100/day so I do 30 at breakfast lunch and dinner. The rest are for snacks.
    Fruit is limited to berries for me.
    Net carbs are carbs minus fiber.

    Yes, you are teaching her to change her ways, but just make sure you're changing for a diabetic diet and not to fit what you think she should be eating. If you lose her at chickpeas, then backtrack and lose the chickpeas. And frankly, chickpeas are awful for a diabetic. High in net carbs, high in sugar. Most of my meals are piece of meat (or egg!) and veg. And I'd say anyone can cook that.

    http://www.southbeach-diet.info/low-carb-vegetables.php

    In Canada we can go to a diabetic nutritionist for free, if you're American, maybe insurance would cover it?
  • RodaRose
    RodaRose Posts: 9,562 Member
    ]
    She lives off of eggs. I'm not even joking. She'll make burgers, stew, fried potatoes, or canned vegetables for the other two. But that's it. The truth of saying "she can't cook," is so unbelievably raw it boggles the mind. It defies comprehension.

    We believe you.
    This is something that can be solved.

    These are good foods for the grandfather and the sister:
    ~Eggs
    ~Burgers
    ~Stew
    ~Canned vegetables

    Instead of fried potatoes, ask her to cook some broccoli, cauliflower, or whatever else she can handle.
  • StrawberryJam40
    StrawberryJam40 Posts: 274 Member
    As a diabetic, there are different rules I don't think you're taking into account.

    Whole grains, half grains, super good looking grains, they just aren't good for diabetics.

    Yes, I eat vegetables, but only low glycemic ones.

    Eggs are pretty darn fantastic.

    Low-fat is often higher in carbs than full-fat.
    Always mix a protein with the carb.
    Spread your carbs out through the day. I'm on 100/day so I do 30 at breakfast lunch and dinner. The rest are for snacks.
    Fruit is limited to berries for me.
    Net carbs are carbs minus fiber.

    Yes, you are teaching her to change her ways, but just make sure you're changing for a diabetic diet and not to fit what you think she should be eating. If you lose her at chickpeas, then backtrack and lose the chickpeas. And frankly, chickpeas are awful for a diabetic. High in net carbs, high in sugar. Most of my meals are piece of meat (or egg!) and veg. And I'd say anyone can cook that.

    http://www.southbeach-diet.info/low-carb-vegetables.php

    In Canada we can go to a diabetic nutritionist for free, if you're American, maybe insurance would cover it?

    Yes...start with basics.

    I don't even think I'd jump to recipes. I think I'd make a list from recommended sources of good choices and leave it on the fridge and she can build her own grocery list and menu.

    Think of it in columns.

    Pick one thing from column a (carb) and pick one from column b (or 2 from column b - whatever for protein) and build a meal. Whatever is recommended and that gives her options, leeway and choices. I'd go with basic and nothing complicated to get her started.

    Then from there I'd worry about how she is going to cook them other than telling her grilled, steamed, baked are GREAT, not fried. Give her an adjustment period to learn and do the best she can. She is probably very overwhelmed and scared of doing more damage than good.

    Good luck.
  • scorpiophoenix
    scorpiophoenix Posts: 222 Member
    Yes...start with basics.

    I don't even think I'd jump to recipes. I think I'd make a list from recommended sources of good choices and leave it on the fridge and she can build her own grocery list and menu.

    Think of it in columns.

    Pick one thing from column a (carb) and pick one from column b (or 2 from column b - whatever for protein) and build a meal. Whatever is recommended and that gives her options, leeway and choices. I'd go with basic and nothing complicated to get her started.

    Then from there I'd worry about how she is going to cook them other than telling her grilled, steamed, baked are GREAT, not fried. Give her an adjustment period to learn and do the best she can. She is probably very overwhelmed and scared of doing more damage than good.

    Good luck.

    This! :laugh: I'm not ashamed to admit that's exactly how I put meals together. Not that I can't cook actual recipes, I just don't like spending that much time in the kitchen.
  • RodaRose
    RodaRose Posts: 9,562 Member
    As a diabetic, there are different rules I don't think you're taking into account.

    Whole grains, half grains, super good looking grains, they just aren't good for diabetics.

    Yes, I eat vegetables, but only low glycemic ones.

    Eggs are pretty darn fantastic.

    Low-fat is often higher in carbs than full-fat.
    Always mix a protein with the carb.
    Spread your carbs out through the day. I'm on 100/day so I do 30 at breakfast lunch and dinner. The rest are for snacks.
    Fruit is limited to berries for me.
    Net carbs are carbs minus fiber.

    Yes, you are teaching her to change her ways, but just make sure you're changing for a diabetic diet and not to fit what you think she should be eating. If you lose her at chickpeas, then backtrack and lose the chickpeas. And frankly, chickpeas are awful for a diabetic. High in net carbs, high in sugar. Most of my meals are piece of meat (or egg!) and veg. And I'd say anyone can cook that.

    http://www.southbeach-diet.info/low-carb-vegetables.php

    In Canada we can go to a diabetic nutritionist for free, if you're American, maybe insurance would cover it?

    Yes...start with basics.

    I don't even think I'd jump to recipes. I think I'd make a list from recommended sources of good choices and leave it on the fridge and she can build her own grocery list and menu.

    Think of it in columns.


    Pick one thing from column a (carb) and pick one from column b (or 2 from column b - whatever for protein) and build a meal. Whatever is recommended and that gives her options, leeway and choices. I'd go with basic and nothing complicated to get her started.

    Then from there I'd worry about how she is going to cook them other than telling her grilled, steamed, baked are GREAT, not fried. Give her an adjustment period to learn and do the best she can. She is probably very overwhelmed and scared of doing more damage than good.

    Good luck.

    No.
    One does not build a meal around a carb.
    Carbs are already in dairy and vegetables and fruit and beans. They do not need to be their own separate component in a meal -- especially for a diabetic.
  • kikityme
    kikityme Posts: 472 Member
    No.
    One does not build a meal around a carb.
    Carbs are already in dairy and vegetables and fruit and beans. They do not need to be their own separate component in a meal -- especially for a diabetic.

    The point is that you can't avoid carbs in a meal, unless you're going keto, and let's face it, grams will most likely not be going that route. So pick a good carb and work with it. I think the chart is a brilliant idea.

    So...the column would include the dairy or the vegetables etc.
  • hearthwood
    hearthwood Posts: 794 Member
    That's a tough one, certainly the doctor has told her what types of foods her diabetic husband should be eating and what the no no's are. I feel for you, at 60 she may be fairly stuck in her ways as to way she cooks, maybe give her some easy to do recipes?
  • GrammyPeachy
    GrammyPeachy Posts: 1,723 Member
    The chart is a good idea and maybe some crock pot recipes, they're easy.
  • I don't want to twist arms here, but couldn't the husband help with cooking? Especially his own diabetic food, educating himself on what he can eat and taking responsibility for his own health. It really shouldn't be on her to worry if a tomato will put him over his carb limit. The nine-year-old could probably make her own breakfasts/lunches/snacks (under adult supervision) as well provided there were fresh fruit and sandwich materials in the house.
    Maybe try to get them to replace canned veggies with frozen ones, which have more nutrients, and fried potatos with something healthier? (baked potatoes?)
  • angela233Z
    angela233Z Posts: 312 Member
    Here is the easiest thing for her to do.

    find a protein - rotisserie chicken, eggs, Morningstar Farms burger patties, fish, steak, hamburgers etc
    add a vegetable side dish - broccoli, asparagus etc - just cut up, throw in a plate and microwave for 5 minutes, add cheese if desired
    add a salad - sliced cucumbers, carrots, tomatoes - add dressing
    add a carb if needed for her and 9 yo - bread roll, potato, rice

    if she goes for easiest option in each category - it should take her 15 minutes to cook the entire meal
  • RodaRose
    RodaRose Posts: 9,562 Member
    Here is the easiest thing for her to do.

    find a protein - rotisserie chicken, eggs, Morningstar Farms burger patties, fish, steak, hamburgers etc
    add a vegetable side dish - broccoli, asparagus etc - just cut up, throw in a plate and microwave for 5 minutes, add cheese if desired
    add a salad - sliced cucumbers, carrots, tomatoes - add dressing
    add a carb if needed for her and 9 yo - bread roll, potato, rice

    if she goes for easiest option in each category - it should take her 15 minutes to cook the entire meal

    ^
    Yes. This.
  • TeaBea
    TeaBea Posts: 14,517 Member
    I don't want to twist arms here, but couldn't the husband help with cooking? Especially his own diabetic food, educating himself on what he can eat and taking responsibility for his own health. It really shouldn't be on her to worry if a tomato will put him over his carb limit. The nine-year-old could probably make her own breakfasts/lunches/snacks (under adult supervision) as well provided there were fresh fruit and sandwich materials in the house.
    Maybe try to get them to replace canned veggies with frozen ones, which have more nutrients, and fried potatos with something healthier? (baked potatoes?)

    I dunno.....some older men are really set in their ways. My 9 year old nephew had to help his "papa" crack eggs.

    The 9 year old....that's a good idea. Learn early.
  • simplydelish2
    simplydelish2 Posts: 726 Member
    This is going to sound a bit hokey...but

    What if you put a book together like a choose one from each list: protein list, low carb veggies, higher carb veggies, etc. Note serving size for the adult (diabetic) and for the 9yo. That way she can make the correct amount of food and won't get frustrated making too much or too little. You could also do some sample meals showing what to make and what to serve with what - cheese is great on burgers...pretty disgusting on fish....

    I'm guessing the 9yo eats school lunch - that provides an over abundance of carbs so a good protein and veggie dinner should give her the nutrition she needs.

    You say she is married - what has she been cooking for the both of them? Or has he been the cook?

    I think you are doing her a tremendous service to help.... Good luck!

    So many ways to approach this
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    This is just sad.
  • pepperpat64
    pepperpat64 Posts: 423 Member
    Here is the easiest thing for her to do.

    find a protein - rotisserie chicken, eggs, Morningstar Farms burger patties, fish, steak, hamburgers etc
    add a vegetable side dish - broccoli, asparagus etc - just cut up, throw in a plate and microwave for 5 minutes, add cheese if desired
    add a salad - sliced cucumbers, carrots, tomatoes - add dressing
    add a carb if needed for her and 9 yo - bread roll, potato, rice

    if she goes for easiest option in each category - it should take her 15 minutes to cook the entire meal

    I second this. In addition, a little lemon juice is a great and simple way to boost the flavor of veggies. I love it on broccoli, green beans, asparagus, brussels sprouts, etc. Grandma doesn't even have to use fresh lemons - the stuff in the plastic lemon-shaped squeeze bottle is just fine.
  • pepperpat64
    pepperpat64 Posts: 423 Member
    This is going to sound a bit hokey...but

    What if you put a book together like a choose one from each list: protein list, low carb veggies, higher carb veggies, etc. Note serving size for the adult (diabetic) and for the 9yo. That way she can make the correct amount of food and won't get frustrated making too much or too little. You could also do some sample meals showing what to make and what to serve with what - cheese is great on burgers...pretty disgusting on fish....

    I'm guessing the 9yo eats school lunch - that provides an over abundance of carbs so a good protein and veggie dinner should give her the nutrition she needs.

    You say she is married - what has she been cooking for the both of them? Or has he been the cook?

    I think you are doing her a tremendous service to help.... Good luck!

    So many ways to approach this

    It's not hokey at all, and I've seen cookbooks for sale just like what you describe! They're designed for beginner cooks.
  • PlanetVelma
    PlanetVelma Posts: 1,223 Member
    I don't even know where to begin with this...

    Okay - so addressing the grocery shopping: There are a lot of great templates on the Microsoft website and of course there's a billion apps for grocery lists.

    Regarding how to "understand" food, portion sizes, carbs, etc... why not see if she her insurance offers visits to a nutritionist. That may pull some of the heat off of yourself. Another idea would be to see if there are any local cooking classes (some restaurants offer cooking classes, there's a lady that lives in my neighborhood and she caters AND teaches people how to cook).

    Get her a crockpot and a crockpot cookbook. There are a ton of things you can do with the crockpot. Also check out this site: http://crockpot365.blogspot.com/

    You may want to give her a book on food handling/safety, meat thermometer....just so you can show her how to check to see if something is fully cooked.

    Good luck!

    I can't imagine not knowing how to cook/shop. I've been in charge of that type of stuff since I moved in with my dad at 15!
  • PlanetVelma
    PlanetVelma Posts: 1,223 Member
    This is going to sound a bit hokey...but

    What if you put a book together like a choose one from each list: protein list, low carb veggies, higher carb veggies, etc. Note serving size for the adult (diabetic) and for the 9yo. That way she can make the correct amount of food and won't get frustrated making too much or too little. You could also do some sample meals showing what to make and what to serve with what - cheese is great on burgers...pretty disgusting on fish....

    I'm guessing the 9yo eats school lunch - that provides an over abundance of carbs so a good protein and veggie dinner should give her the nutrition she needs.

    You say she is married - what has she been cooking for the both of them? Or has he been the cook?

    I think you are doing her a tremendous service to help.... Good luck!

    So many ways to approach this

    It's not hokey at all, and I've seen cookbooks for sale just like what you describe! They're designed for beginner cooks.

    I have a few Better Homes and Gardens cook books. This one looks promising. A bit old but not too shabby!

    http://www.amazon.com/Anyone-Better-Homes-Gardens-Cooking/dp/0696232936
  • Skye_NS
    Skye_NS Posts: 214 Member
    She could look into local groups in her community - seniors groups and the Diabetes Association come to mind. In my area the grocery stores have community rooms where they hold cooking classes a few times a month. Look around the town, check out flyers and bulletin boards. Nutrition and cooking classes are popping up everywhere these days. Even our rec centers and public libraries have classes now!

    I love the chart idea, but I'm surprised she doesn't already have one. Every diabetic in my life has one posted in their kitchen listing the foods that they have to eliminate, limit, and the ones that they can eat 'freely'. (For the record, I don't mean they are calorie free - all foods have calories. I mean the foods that they can eat without sending their diabetic diet into a tailspin.) Maybe she could get one from his doctor, unless this is just a Canadian thing? I'm sure it wouldn't hurt to ask either way.

    Also, I second the idea of getting everyone involved. While it's true that some men don't want to cook, some may be interested but unsure of what to do. It might be fun for them to learn together. As for the 9 year old - kids are smart! No reason she can't learn and lend a hand.
  • WinoGelato
    WinoGelato Posts: 13,454 Member
    I don't know much about cooking for a diabetic or what the restrictions would be but... there are lots of convenience foods out there. And I'm not talking just about things like Hamburger Helper, which I'm sure people would probably say would not be a good recommendation. But even frozen vegetables, in different combinations, that come in steamer bags where you literally just pop them in the microwave for 5 minutes, open the bag, dump them in a bowl, and voila. That would minimize one of the complicating steps (buying and preparing fresh vegetables) and enable her to focus on prepping protein or other side dishes that would be appropriate for their diet.

    There are also lots of skillet meals and prepared foods in the deli section of most grocery stores that would also help ease the transition. Maybe if she started with meatloaf from the deli, and decided she liked it, then you could work on finding her an easy recipe to prepare it herself.

    I just think you are dealing with so many variables (picky eater, food restrictions, limited cooking skills, limited familiarity with foods) - you need to start with the easiest possible solution and work her up from there.
  • AuroraD82
    AuroraD82 Posts: 56 Member

    Weekend after next I'm making another trip over to help her go shopping and get her started with some basic staple recipes, but there's a lot of work to be done.

    What resources can you recommend for helping her get a handle on not only what to buy, but how to prepare it?

    Do some dishes up, freeze them and bring them with the ingredients to make it again and a simple instruction, like throw in a pot, simmer for 20 minutes, eat.
    The best thing to do is to show her how to cook the way you are trying to get her to cook. Adding something like noodles or whole grain toast for the not diabetic can be a way to encorporate healthy carbs into your 9 year olds meals. But it can be hard to say no to a grown adult so may be better to just keep it simple for now. No pressure type of meals that satisfy all dietary needs. The year old can have the good stuff in her school lunches.
  • StrawberryJam40
    StrawberryJam40 Posts: 274 Member
    As a diabetic, there are different rules I don't think you're taking into account.

    Whole grains, half grains, super good looking grains, they just aren't good for diabetics.

    Yes, I eat vegetables, but only low glycemic ones.

    Eggs are pretty darn fantastic.

    Low-fat is often higher in carbs than full-fat.
    Always mix a protein with the carb.
    Spread your carbs out through the day. I'm on 100/day so I do 30 at breakfast lunch and dinner. The rest are for snacks.
    Fruit is limited to berries for me.
    Net carbs are carbs minus fiber.

    Yes, you are teaching her to change her ways, but just make sure you're changing for a diabetic diet and not to fit what you think she should be eating. If you lose her at chickpeas, then backtrack and lose the chickpeas. And frankly, chickpeas are awful for a diabetic. High in net carbs, high in sugar. Most of my meals are piece of meat (or egg!) and veg. And I'd say anyone can cook that.

    http://www.southbeach-diet.info/low-carb-vegetables.php

    In Canada we can go to a diabetic nutritionist for free, if you're American, maybe insurance would cover it?

    Yes...start with basics.

    I don't even think I'd jump to recipes. I think I'd make a list from recommended sources of good choices and leave it on the fridge and she can build her own grocery list and menu.

    Think of it in columns.


    Pick one thing from column a (carb) and pick one from column b (or 2 from column b - whatever for protein) and build a meal. Whatever is recommended and that gives her options, leeway and choices. I'd go with basic and nothing complicated to get her started.

    Then from there I'd worry about how she is going to cook them other than telling her grilled, steamed, baked are GREAT, not fried. Give her an adjustment period to learn and do the best she can. She is probably very overwhelmed and scared of doing more damage than good.

    Good luck.

    No.
    One does not build a meal around a carb.
    Carbs are already in dairy and vegetables and fruit and beans. They do not need to be their own separate component in a meal -- especially for a diabetic.

    LOL..I was giving her an idea..that's why I followed it up with whatever is recommended. I'm no expert I just wanted her to see that breaking it down into basics instead of jumping into recipes might be easier for her mom.

    Didn't mean to set anyone off.
  • HeidiCooksSupper
    HeidiCooksSupper Posts: 3,831 Member
    Introduce her to the "Healthy Eating Plate" from NutritionSource, Harvard School of Public Health's site for the rest of us.

    37a280a5-cd7c-43f4-af54-c60e08be97f9_zpsa9bb5934.jpg

    There's lots of good information on NutritionSource and it's not trying to sell anything or espouse any particular politics.

    http://www.hsph.harvard.edu/nutritionsource/
  • 3laine75
    3laine75 Posts: 3,069 Member
    She'll be fine. I think it's that generation, my mum is the same but she didn't kill my brother or me and I'm assuming your mum/dad are alright.
  • kikityme
    kikityme Posts: 472 Member
    Introduce her to the "Healthy Eating Plate" from NutritionSource, Harvard School of Public Health's site for the rest of us.

    37a280a5-cd7c-43f4-af54-c60e08be97f9_zpsa9bb5934.jpg

    There's lots of good information on NutritionSource and it's not trying to sell anything or espouse any particular politics.

    http://www.hsph.harvard.edu/nutritionsource/

    Diabetic.

    Diabetic=Carb control. (Not all vegetables are equal)
    Diabetic=Sugar control. (All fruits are DEFINITELY not equal)

    What works for the rest of you does not work for diabetics. And can be dangerous. It's why there are nutritionists who specialize in diabetes.
  • shnoots
    shnoots Posts: 82 Member
    She'll be fine. I think it's that generation, my mum is the same but she didn't kill my brother or me and I'm assuming your mum/dad are alright.

    Shes not fine. She's actively looking for help, but the internet is difficult for her, and she lives out of town (the nearest town comprises 800 people, so finding local resources is a no-go). And no, my step-dad (her son) is very much not ok. Just no.
  • asia1967
    asia1967 Posts: 707 Member
    The chart is a good idea and maybe some crock pot recipes, they're easy.


    ^ This for sure!!