Trying to teach someone how to cook/shop/understand food

shnoots

My grandmother has somehow made it into her 60's and has no idea how to prepare food. She grew up as an incredibly picky eater, and never made it past that point. She's currently the primary caregiver of my youngest sister (9), and the wife of a newly diagnosed diabetic. I live 3 hours away, and can't be there physically to show her the ropes, but have directed her to helpful resources like America's Test Kitchen/Cook's Country, and this website.

Cutting to the chase, she's an older lady. She is having difficulty sifting through the multitude of conflicting nutritional information available in the world. I spent the majority of our visit today convincing her it was ok, and preferable, for her diabetic husband to have vegetables ("but they have carbs!") and that a low carb/low fat diet was NOT how a 9 year old should be eating. I emphasized eating real foods, vegetables, lean meats, and whole grains, but she's still at a loss for what to actually buy. I lost her at "chickpeas" for a bit.

Weekend after next I'm making another trip over to help her go shopping and get her started with some basic staple recipes, but there's a lot of work to be done.

What resources can you recommend for helping her get a handle on not only what to buy, but how to prepare it?

RodaRose

First of all, she should be cooking almost the same things for the grandfather and the 9 year old.
Rather than make her rethink her whole way of cooking, show her how to tweak some meals that she already cooks.
Focus on helping her cook vegetables if she does not already do that.
What does she like to make?

cookmtn

Wow, this is a tall order! Allrecipes.com is a good site and they have diabetic recipes as well. Diabetes.org has recipes as well. If she can do basics like mac n cheese (with whole wheat pasta, can't tell the difference)for your sister, bake chicken breasts, put together a salad, she can start there. It might be easier to cook diabetic friendly recipes and then supplement those with kid friendlier stuff.
What or how to buy is harder. You taking her shopping is probably the best way.
I'm sure there are cooking videos on youtube that may be easier to show her how to cook. Hope this helps.

shnoots

First of all, she should be cooking almost the same things for the grandfather and the 9 year old.
Rather than make her rethink her whole way of cooking, show her how to tweak some meals that she already cooks.
Focus on helping her cook vegetables if she does not already do that.
What does she like to make?

The issue isn't making her rethink he entire way of cooking, but rather teaching her to cook. She lives off of eggs. I'm not even joking. She'll make burgers, stew, fried potatoes, or canned vegetables for the other two. But that's it. The truth of saying "she can't cook," is so unbelievably raw it boggles the mind. It defies comprehension.

We walked into her pantry.
I said, "Do you like enchiladas?"
"No."
"...Have you ever had them?"
"Well, no, but they sound Mexican."
".......Ok....Well look, here's some canned chicken, and some rotel, and...do you have any tomato sauce?"
"No, I don't buy that."
"...Oh, here it is. Do you have tortillas and cheese?"
"Tortillas are the round white things, right?"
"Yes. Now here's how you put these all together and make something edible."
"Oooh, I wouldn't have thought of that...but the tomatoes have carbs don't they?"
"...it's 2% of your DRI..."

kikityme

As a diabetic, there are different rules I don't think you're taking into account.

Whole grains, half grains, super good looking grains, they just aren't good for diabetics.

Yes, I eat vegetables, but only low glycemic ones.

Eggs are pretty darn fantastic.

Low-fat is often higher in carbs than full-fat.
Always mix a protein with the carb.
Spread your carbs out through the day. I'm on 100/day so I do 30 at breakfast lunch and dinner. The rest are for snacks.
Fruit is limited to berries for me.
Net carbs are carbs minus fiber.

Yes, you are teaching her to change her ways, but just make sure you're changing for a diabetic diet and not to fit what you think she should be eating. If you lose her at chickpeas, then backtrack and lose the chickpeas. And frankly, chickpeas are awful for a diabetic. High in net carbs, high in sugar. Most of my meals are piece of meat (or egg!) and veg. And I'd say anyone can cook that.

http://www.southbeach-diet.info/low-carb-vegetables.php

In Canada we can go to a diabetic nutritionist for free, if you're American, maybe insurance would cover it?

RodaRose

]

She lives off of eggs. I'm not even joking. She'll make burgers, stew, fried potatoes, or canned vegetables for the other two. But that's it. The truth of saying "she can't cook," is so unbelievably raw it boggles the mind. It defies comprehension.

We believe you.
This is something that can be solved.

These are good foods for the grandfather and the sister:
~Eggs
~Burgers
~Stew
~Canned vegetables

Instead of fried potatoes, ask her to cook some broccoli, cauliflower, or whatever else she can handle.

StrawberryJam40

As a diabetic, there are different rules I don't think you're taking into account.

Whole grains, half grains, super good looking grains, they just aren't good for diabetics.

Yes, I eat vegetables, but only low glycemic ones.

Eggs are pretty darn fantastic.

Low-fat is often higher in carbs than full-fat.
Always mix a protein with the carb.
Spread your carbs out through the day. I'm on 100/day so I do 30 at breakfast lunch and dinner. The rest are for snacks.
Fruit is limited to berries for me.
Net carbs are carbs minus fiber.

Yes, you are teaching her to change her ways, but just make sure you're changing for a diabetic diet and not to fit what you think she should be eating. If you lose her at chickpeas, then backtrack and lose the chickpeas. And frankly, chickpeas are awful for a diabetic. High in net carbs, high in sugar. Most of my meals are piece of meat (or egg!) and veg. And I'd say anyone can cook that.

http://www.southbeach-diet.info/low-carb-vegetables.php

In Canada we can go to a diabetic nutritionist for free, if you're American, maybe insurance would cover it?

Yes...start with basics.

I don't even think I'd jump to recipes. I think I'd make a list from recommended sources of good choices and leave it on the fridge and she can build her own grocery list and menu.

Think of it in columns.

Pick one thing from column a (carb) and pick one from column b (or 2 from column b - whatever for protein) and build a meal. Whatever is recommended and that gives her options, leeway and choices. I'd go with basic and nothing complicated to get her started.

Then from there I'd worry about how she is going to cook them other than telling her grilled, steamed, baked are GREAT, not fried. Give her an adjustment period to learn and do the best she can. She is probably very overwhelmed and scared of doing more damage than good.

Good luck.

scorpiophoenix

Yes...start with basics.

I don't even think I'd jump to recipes. I think I'd make a list from recommended sources of good choices and leave it on the fridge and she can build her own grocery list and menu.

Think of it in columns.

Pick one thing from column a (carb) and pick one from column b (or 2 from column b - whatever for protein) and build a meal. Whatever is recommended and that gives her options, leeway and choices. I'd go with basic and nothing complicated to get her started.

Then from there I'd worry about how she is going to cook them other than telling her grilled, steamed, baked are GREAT, not fried. Give her an adjustment period to learn and do the best she can. She is probably very overwhelmed and scared of doing more damage than good.

Good luck.

This! :laugh: I'm not ashamed to admit that's exactly how I put meals together. Not that I can't cook actual recipes, I just don't like spending that much time in the kitchen.

RodaRose

As a diabetic, there are different rules I don't think you're taking into account.

Whole grains, half grains, super good looking grains, they just aren't good for diabetics.

Yes, I eat vegetables, but only low glycemic ones.

Eggs are pretty darn fantastic.

Low-fat is often higher in carbs than full-fat.
Always mix a protein with the carb.
Spread your carbs out through the day. I'm on 100/day so I do 30 at breakfast lunch and dinner. The rest are for snacks.
Fruit is limited to berries for me.
Net carbs are carbs minus fiber.

Yes, you are teaching her to change her ways, but just make sure you're changing for a diabetic diet and not to fit what you think she should be eating. If you lose her at chickpeas, then backtrack and lose the chickpeas. And frankly, chickpeas are awful for a diabetic. High in net carbs, high in sugar. Most of my meals are piece of meat (or egg!) and veg. And I'd say anyone can cook that.

http://www.southbeach-diet.info/low-carb-vegetables.php

In Canada we can go to a diabetic nutritionist for free, if you're American, maybe insurance would cover it?

Yes...start with basics.

I don't even think I'd jump to recipes. I think I'd make a list from recommended sources of good choices and leave it on the fridge and she can build her own grocery list and menu.

Think of it in columns.


Pick one thing from column a (carb) and pick one from column b (or 2 from column b - whatever for protein) and build a meal. Whatever is recommended and that gives her options, leeway and choices. I'd go with basic and nothing complicated to get her started.

Then from there I'd worry about how she is going to cook them other than telling her grilled, steamed, baked are GREAT, not fried. Give her an adjustment period to learn and do the best she can. She is probably very overwhelmed and scared of doing more damage than good.

Good luck.

No.
One does not build a meal around a carb.
Carbs are already in dairy and vegetables and fruit and beans. They do not need to be their own separate component in a meal -- especially for a diabetic.

kikityme

No.
One does not build a meal around a carb.
Carbs are already in dairy and vegetables and fruit and beans. They do not need to be their own separate component in a meal -- especially for a diabetic.

The point is that you can't avoid carbs in a meal, unless you're going keto, and let's face it, grams will most likely not be going that route. So pick a good carb and work with it. I think the chart is a brilliant idea.

So...the column would include the dairy or the vegetables etc.

hearthwood

That's a tough one, certainly the doctor has told her what types of foods her diabetic husband should be eating and what the no no's are. I feel for you, at 60 she may be fairly stuck in her ways as to way she cooks, maybe give her some easy to do recipes?

GrammyPeachy

The chart is a good idea and maybe some crock pot recipes, they're easy.

strawberrypopsicles

I don't want to twist arms here, but couldn't the husband help with cooking? Especially his own diabetic food, educating himself on what he can eat and taking responsibility for his own health. It really shouldn't be on her to worry if a tomato will put him over his carb limit. The nine-year-old could probably make her own breakfasts/lunches/snacks (under adult supervision) as well provided there were fresh fruit and sandwich materials in the house.
Maybe try to get them to replace canned veggies with frozen ones, which have more nutrients, and fried potatos with something healthier? (baked potatoes?)

angela233Z

Here is the easiest thing for her to do.

find a protein - rotisserie chicken, eggs, Morningstar Farms burger patties, fish, steak, hamburgers etc
add a vegetable side dish - broccoli, asparagus etc - just cut up, throw in a plate and microwave for 5 minutes, add cheese if desired
add a salad - sliced cucumbers, carrots, tomatoes - add dressing
add a carb if needed for her and 9 yo - bread roll, potato, rice

if she goes for easiest option in each category - it should take her 15 minutes to cook the entire meal

RodaRose

Here is the easiest thing for her to do.

find a protein - rotisserie chicken, eggs, Morningstar Farms burger patties, fish, steak, hamburgers etc
add a vegetable side dish - broccoli, asparagus etc - just cut up, throw in a plate and microwave for 5 minutes, add cheese if desired
add a salad - sliced cucumbers, carrots, tomatoes - add dressing
add a carb if needed for her and 9 yo - bread roll, potato, rice

if she goes for easiest option in each category - it should take her 15 minutes to cook the entire meal

^
Yes. This.

TeaBea

I don't want to twist arms here, but couldn't the husband help with cooking? Especially his own diabetic food, educating himself on what he can eat and taking responsibility for his own health. It really shouldn't be on her to worry if a tomato will put him over his carb limit. The nine-year-old could probably make her own breakfasts/lunches/snacks (under adult supervision) as well provided there were fresh fruit and sandwich materials in the house.
Maybe try to get them to replace canned veggies with frozen ones, which have more nutrients, and fried potatos with something healthier? (baked potatoes?)

I dunno.....some older men are really set in their ways. My 9 year old nephew had to help his "papa" crack eggs.

The 9 year old....that's a good idea. Learn early.

simplydelish2

This is going to sound a bit hokey...but

What if you put a book together like a choose one from each list: protein list, low carb veggies, higher carb veggies, etc. Note serving size for the adult (diabetic) and for the 9yo. That way she can make the correct amount of food and won't get frustrated making too much or too little. You could also do some sample meals showing what to make and what to serve with what - cheese is great on burgers...pretty disgusting on fish....

I'm guessing the 9yo eats school lunch - that provides an over abundance of carbs so a good protein and veggie dinner should give her the nutrition she needs.

You say she is married - what has she been cooking for the both of them? Or has he been the cook?

I think you are doing her a tremendous service to help.... Good luck!

So many ways to approach this

randomtai

This is just sad.

pepperpat64

Here is the easiest thing for her to do.

find a protein - rotisserie chicken, eggs, Morningstar Farms burger patties, fish, steak, hamburgers etc
add a vegetable side dish - broccoli, asparagus etc - just cut up, throw in a plate and microwave for 5 minutes, add cheese if desired
add a salad - sliced cucumbers, carrots, tomatoes - add dressing
add a carb if needed for her and 9 yo - bread roll, potato, rice

if she goes for easiest option in each category - it should take her 15 minutes to cook the entire meal

I second this. In addition, a little lemon juice is a great and simple way to boost the flavor of veggies. I love it on broccoli, green beans, asparagus, brussels sprouts, etc. Grandma doesn't even have to use fresh lemons - the stuff in the plastic lemon-shaped squeeze bottle is just fine.

pepperpat64

This is going to sound a bit hokey...but

What if you put a book together like a choose one from each list: protein list, low carb veggies, higher carb veggies, etc. Note serving size for the adult (diabetic) and for the 9yo. That way she can make the correct amount of food and won't get frustrated making too much or too little. You could also do some sample meals showing what to make and what to serve with what - cheese is great on burgers...pretty disgusting on fish....

I'm guessing the 9yo eats school lunch - that provides an over abundance of carbs so a good protein and veggie dinner should give her the nutrition she needs.

You say she is married - what has she been cooking for the both of them? Or has he been the cook?

I think you are doing her a tremendous service to help.... Good luck!

So many ways to approach this

It's not hokey at all, and I've seen cookbooks for sale just like what you describe! They're designed for beginner cooks.

PlanetVelma

I don't even know where to begin with this...

Okay - so addressing the grocery shopping: There are a lot of great templates on the Microsoft website and of course there's a billion apps for grocery lists.

Regarding how to "understand" food, portion sizes, carbs, etc... why not see if she her insurance offers visits to a nutritionist. That may pull some of the heat off of yourself. Another idea would be to see if there are any local cooking classes (some restaurants offer cooking classes, there's a lady that lives in my neighborhood and she caters AND teaches people how to cook).

Get her a crockpot and a crockpot cookbook. There are a ton of things you can do with the crockpot. Also check out this site: http://crockpot365.blogspot.com/

You may want to give her a book on food handling/safety, meat thermometer....just so you can show her how to check to see if something is fully cooked.

Good luck!

I can't imagine not knowing how to cook/shop. I've been in charge of that type of stuff since I moved in with my dad at 15!