Can men and women maintain a platonic relationship?

teagirlmedium

I think it depends on the people. I can be friends with some guys without wanting to be anything else. However, some people cannot. My brother is one of the people that cannot be just friends. At this time he no longer has female friends. I had a friend the same way, so she only made guy friends she found unattractive. That helped her. For me it depends on the person. Most friends I do not like in anyway other than friends, but if there is a friend I start to like it depends. If they are in a relationship, I stop talking to them. If they would like to go out then we try that. If they do not want to go out I stop talking to them until I no longer like them, because I hate the feeling of having a crush on someone I can't be with so those felling have to go away before we hang out again.

HeidiMightyRawr

Yes I do think you can be, but there has to not be romantic or sexual feelings either side IMO or it just makes things awkward. Not to say it can't still be done through determination or whatever, but what's a good friendship when it's awkward and you can't do the things you'd like to do?

Thats not saying that i cant recognize the fact that theyre attractive or have other desirable qualities. my husband also has female friends, ive never felt threatened or like they over stepped boundries, ever.

Also, this. Finding them attractive =/= desiring sexual/romantic relations with them.

That said, I've never been close with a member of the opposite sex, since I was a kid. I get on very well with them, at work, at the gym, I've been out for drinks with guys in a platonic way before, but I wouldn't ever have said we were close enough to say we were real friends, the kind you call up to see randomly, and hang out with.

Uhm, I think my brothers an attractive guy, my whole family has good genes. Doesn't mean I wanna bang him. Same for my male friends. To say I'm blind to their physical appearance is bs. To say I want relationships/sex with them is even more bs. I also notice the attractiveness of other women, does this mean I want to have sex with them?

Thinking someone is attractive to me does not = sexual desires. I graduated high school years ago.

That's what I said. =/= means does not equal.

I too find lots of people attractive, people I have no desire to be in relationships or sex with. They're 2 different things IMO.

rml_16

I would like to think so. Most of my friends are guys. They're easier to talk to and they tell you it straight. Which I love. But I do believe if two people,male and female are friends and hang out and talk on the phone and whatever else,for too long there could be some feelings developing other than friendship.

Hmmm.

I'm going on 25-30 years with some of my guys friends. So far this hasn't happened. How long is "too long"?
.

Well of course there are some factors,if both parties are married then there's no reason to have feelings if both are happy in their marriages/relationships. You also have to realize if one has feelings for the other they may not say so in fear of ruining a good friendship.

I'm 37. I have male friends who were my friends when we were both single. We spent significant amounts of time alone together. No one ever made a move or implied there were feelings beyond friendship.

Now, maybe I'm just incredibly ugly and don't realize it, but plenty of men have wanted to date me, too, so I don't think that's the problem.

We just didn't have personalities that lent themselves to becoming romantically involved with each other. This does happen. Not all human beings are just waiting to jump each other's bones the second they get the opportunity.

Hmm,"jump each others bones" that wasn't quite what I said,in fact,not even close. I said "develop feelings" now if you interpret that as jumping someone's bones than that's on you. Anyone can have feelings or feel connected to someone without sex being on the table. I'm sorry,but sex wasn't even entering my mind when I said that

OK. Let me rephrase: I have had male friends my entire life. Some since elementary school, some since becoming an adult. Most of them were single at the same time I was at some point in our friendship. We hung out, talked on the phone, sat alone in a house watching Monty Python together (see, my sarcasm comes naturally) and neither of us developed any feelings. Most of them are married now to other people, with whom I get along fine. I am also in a relationship with someone. We were close friends before and we remain close friends.

We did not develop feelings any more than my female friends and I developed feelings for each other. Being of different genders does not mean feelings are inevitable. At least not for mature adults. Not everyone's personalities click that way.

So, again, please define "too long." Three decades isn't long enough. Are we talking 50 years? 60?

Also, you should probably check the definition of Internet troll. This is not an example. You are welcome to post an opinion. People are going to challenge it. If that upsets you, you might not want to talk to people who don't agree with you.

DMZ_1

Generally speaking, no.

cuteandfunsized

I would like to think so. Most of my friends are guys. They're easier to talk to and they tell you it straight. Which I love. But I do believe if two people,male and female are friends and hang out and talk on the phone and whatever else,for too long there could be some feelings developing other than friendship.

Hmmm.

I'm going on 25-30 years with some of my guys friends. So far this hasn't happened. How long is "too long"?
.

Well of course there are some factors,if both parties are married then there's no reason to have feelings if both are happy in their marriages/relationships. You also have to realize if one has feelings for the other they may not say so in fear of ruining a good friendship.

I'm 37. I have male friends who were my friends when we were both single. We spent significant amounts of time alone together. No one ever made a move or implied there were feelings beyond friendship.

Now, maybe I'm just incredibly ugly and don't realize it, but plenty of men have wanted to date me, too, so I don't think that's the problem.

We just didn't have personalities that lent themselves to becoming romantically involved with each other. This does happen. Not all human beings are just waiting to jump each other's bones the second they get the opportunity.

Hmm,"jump each others bones" that wasn't quite what I said,in fact,not even close. I said "develop feelings" now if you interpret that as jumping someone's bones than that's on you. Anyone can have feelings or feel connected to someone without sex being on the table. I'm sorry,but sex wasn't even entering my mind when I said that

OK. Let me rephrase: I have had male friends my entire life. Some since elementary school, some since becoming an adult. Most of them were single at the same time I was at some point in our friendship. We hung out, talked on the phone, sat alone in a house watching Monty Python together (see, my sarcasm comes naturally) and neither of us developed any feelings. Most of them are married now to other people, with whom I get along fine. I am also in a relationship with someone. We were close friends before and we remain close friends.

We did not develop feelings any more than my female friends and I developed feelings for each other. Being of different genders does not mean feelings are inevitable. At least not for mature adults. Not everyone's personalities click that way.

So, again, please define "too long." Three decades isn't long enough. Are we talking 50 years? 60?

Also, you should probably check the definition of Internet troll. This is not an example. You are welcome to post an opinion. People are going to challenge it. If that upsets you, you might not want to talk to people who don't agree with you.

Haha,oh honey. I have no problems with anyone stating their opinions. I just find it quite amusing that you keep coming back to my post.

BinaryPulsar

Yes I do think you can be, but there has to not be romantic or sexual feelings either side IMO or it just makes things awkward. Not to say it can't still be done through determination or whatever, but what's a good friendship when it's awkward and you can't do the things you'd like to do?

Thats not saying that i cant recognize the fact that theyre attractive or have other desirable qualities. my husband also has female friends, ive never felt threatened or like they over stepped boundries, ever.

Also, this. Finding them attractive =/= desiring sexual/romantic relations with them.

That said, I've never been close with a member of the opposite sex, since I was a kid. I get on very well with them, at work, at the gym, I've been out for drinks with guys in a platonic way before, but I wouldn't ever have said we were close enough to say we were real friends, the kind you call up to see randomly, and hang out with.

Uhm, I think my brothers an attractive guy, my whole family has good genes. Doesn't mean I wanna bang him. Same for my male friends. To say I'm blind to their physical appearance is bs. To say I want relationships/sex with them is even more bs. I also notice the attractiveness of other women, does this mean I want to have sex with them?

Thinking someone is attractive to me does not = sexual desires. I graduated high school years ago.

That's what I said. =/= means does not equal.

I too find lots of people attractive, people I have no desire to be in relationships or sex with. They're 2 different things IMO.

Yeah. Certain boundaries get set in relationships. It doesn't mean it can't change under the right circumstances. But, I can appreciate beauty and attraction without wanting it to become sexual.

athleteguy777

depends on who the man and woman are.

meganlea2431

I believe so. I have guy friends and yes we all flirt but we also know that we are just friends. Everyone just has to respect boundaries.

jordan91mfp

Im going to go against the grain here and say no. I don't think so.

Allow me to qualify. I have LOTS of platonic relationships, so it can be done. But NOT close, "best friend" platonic relationships.

Typically ONE of the people, in very close, "best friends" kind of guy - girl relationships.... ONE of them has feelings. They both always deny it, but typically, from what I have seen... one of the people is fine with the relationship, and one wants more but is afraid to loose it.

If you think "Dude! Me and _______ are opposite sex, and we are best friends and there is nothing there!"... most likely YOU are the one who is ok with it, and the other person, secretly, has feelings.

jeannemarie333

Nope. I say no.

Most guys need to have the 4 foot rule

Spnneil06

My best friends are guys...women can be sneaky and back stabbers! Men FRIENDS keep it real!

melmelw80

I have more guy friends who are true friends than women. In my experience, most women are nice at first then stab you in the back or are extremely catty towards each other. Guys are less drama. Women need to support one another instead of tearing each other down....I just don't understand it.

Timelordlady85

I say it depends on the individuals. each person is different and acts and feels differently. i have male friends and my husband is fine with it as I'm fine with him having female friends. its all about respect and boundaries.

Spnneil06

I have more guy friends who are true friends than women. In my experience, most women are nice at first then stab you in the back or are extremely catty towards each other. Guys are less drama. Women need to support one another instead of tearing each other down....I just don't understand it.

RIGHT????

Kalici

I have more guy friends who are true friends than women. In my experience, most women are nice at first then stab you in the back or are extremely catty towards each other. Guys are less drama. Women need to support one another instead of tearing each other down....I just don't understand it.

Yes, support each other. Just like you did here.

Kalici

My best friends are guys...women can be sneaky and back stabbers! Men FRIENDS keep it real!

Yep, men are definitely all one good way and all women are the other terrible way.

Spnneil06

I mean there are good and bad in both sexes but as far as being "friends" men win!

k8eekins

CaptSpatz: So just curious on what the general consensus is here. I strongly believe it can be done. I've done it on many occasions and feel a platonic relationship can exist between a man and woman.

Absolutely! With men, the friendships have an effortless ease about them and are always uncensored. Amongst women, one has to be measured.

Spnneil06

I feel like men don't understand what women deal with when being friends with OTHER women! It's a battlefield honestly. Men are friends with men and that is cool because they keep it honest.

amusedmonkey

About 90% of my real life friends are males (since most of the people in my circles of interest are males). It has never been anything but platonic, except with one of them who is my ex. We split in peace and maintained our friendship for 11 years now, completely platonic.