Eating to please others

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  • loribethrice
    loribethrice Posts: 620 Member
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    It's hard when people are trying to sabotage you. I have a lifelong eating disorder and people DO NOT understand that my food phobias are serious. They also don't understand that I am super serious about my diet. I get lots of eye rolls and sighing when I say that I can't eat whatever because it's too many calories. You just have to say no and be firm. Let them get mad because they are the ones being ridiculous, not you!
  • SlimMe37
    SlimMe37 Posts: 133 Member
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    Such a terrible night. I eneded up wasting calories because my boyfriend made me feel guilty for not eating junk food with him. How does anyone else deal with this and still stay motivated. I feel like i messed up so bad he had.me eating right before bed :-( I am really in nees of some motivation and support tonight :-(

    You are the only one in control of what you put into your body. So that means you have to take the responsibility and not him. Next time say no. If you find this difficult you may need to rethink why you're trying to be healthier. Right now, you have to move on from this and take something from it. That being, learning to politely turn him down should this happen again x
  • SlimMe37
    SlimMe37 Posts: 133 Member
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    Just keep saying no thanks, and mean it. It took my hubby 6 months to get the message, now he says "I made dinner but I gave you extra veggies instead of potatoes"

    That is so sweet of him ????
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    Sorry but I think you may just have to woman up and say "No, thank you!".

    this...

    though theres nothing wrong with eating right before bed, you'll only gain weight from it if you're eating in a surplus...
  • lovecriminal
    lovecriminal Posts: 41 Member
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    Just don't give in? Not sure what else to suggest. If he can't respect your needs, dietary or otherwise, maybe you should explain them to him again.

    I piss people off all the time by watching my diet, I don't give a ****. They don't have to deal with the weight I would gain if I ate every time someone else wanted to grab something or snack.

    Totally agree with this

    Very True - "They don't have to deal with the weight I would gain if I ate every time someone else wanted to grab something or snack. "
  • Deborah105
    Deborah105 Posts: 183 Member
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    Oh Hai,

    First of all, props, self-accountability is an awesome thing. The fact that you're self aware and keeping track of yourself shows that you want to succeed. That said, don't beat yourself up too badly when you're simply being human, and make a mistake. It happens to all of us at some point or another - and hey, it's want keeps us growing, and learning, so it's not all bad.

    Motivation is a tricky thing, it comes and goes for all of us, and is highly dependent on what we have going on at the time - I like to remind myself (regularly) that it's not a static thing, it's never going to be something that's always on. The trick is not to let yourself fall further down the 'demotivated rabbit hole' by being too self-critical when things don't go to plan. You wasted some calories, I totally get how much that sucks, but instead of feeling bad... use it, and let it go.

    Whenever I have a blow out - and let's be honest sometimes they aren't as rare as we'd like them to be - I generally have a conversation (no, not the crazy out loud kind) with myself the next morning, and decide what I'm going to take away from it. If it's because of influence from someone else (ermagherd, the boyf wanted to make cookies! And then I ate too many of said cookies) I like to remind myself who is actually going to have to run those cookies off (oh, that's right me!), and that it's okay in any relationship to ask for what you need (hello! support!). If it's because I was sad or mad about something, I like to remind myself to find better ways to cope with things, hello running!

    I get that boyfriends can be dumb sometimes - mines pretty awesome, but even he needs reminding sometimes that support is something exampled, not just talked about - so maybe you could talk to him about it and let him know that food is not always your friend, and that while you can respect his need to eat junk food, you'd prefer he showed his support for you by not pushing it on you and respecting your choice for healthier options?

    Good luck with the adventure!
    S.
    This needs to be printed out and all MFPers that feel badly about less than perfect behavior should read it every time. I love this so much!
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
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    Your boyfriend guilty you into eating over your limit. Sounds like a keeper.
  • molls10m
    molls10m Posts: 22
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    Wow ,this sounds like a situation that happened with me. I have been a social drinker and also abstained from EtOH. ( I am neither right now). But when I stopped drinking EtOH (back in the day), my friends who were drinking it got very upset with me, and tried multiple times to tempt me. I actually left the party early due to extreme annoyance. I don't need it to have a good time. It was choice.
    All decisions basically come down to choice. So OP, Not sure what it is....misery loving company or maybe thinking because you aren't participating, you're judging. ....but you will experience this again and again. You are strong, you can say no!

    I so relate to this. It's so hard sometimes to say no to your friends who have been your drinking buddies and going-out-to-eat buddies for so long!!! To the OP though, you just have to keep doing you and the rest will fall into place :)

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