I'm at my wits end.
Replies
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We went out. We did things all day. We ended up eating. I still kept my portions small, but no. I didn't count. Yes, I already felt incredibly guilty about eating out and having fun. Thank you for bringing that up. However, when you're trying to get your mind off of the thing that's making you depressed, I.e. my weight, what makes you think we want to spend the day thinking about that? Desperately counting things that could be like what I'm eating, instead of relaxing and trying to get into a better mindset?
first of all, never ever EVER feel guilty about going out. use the phone app, log it, and go on and enjoy your meal.
i get obsessive about my food and logging (long history of eating disorder issues), but if i'm out somewhere without full control over my food, i just give myself permission to roll with it. i was visiting family over the weekend and was mindful of what i ate, but not to the point where i let it get in the way. i logged as close as i could and then moved on to enjoy the time with my family.0 -
We went out. We did things all day. We ended up eating. I still kept my portions small, but no. I didn't count. Yes, I already felt incredibly guilty about eating out and having fun. Thank you for bringing that up. However, when you're trying to get your mind off of the thing that's making you depressed, I.e. my weight, what makes you think we want to spend the day thinking about that? Desperately counting things that could be like what I'm eating, instead of relaxing and trying to get into a better mindset?
There's no need to feel guilty about eating out. This is a lifestyle change, and you can't expect to never walk into a restaurant again, can you?
What we're trying to say is, missing days, measuring cups instead of scales, you're eating more than you think. You can still estimate those things you ate and go about your day. However, the most accurate thing to do is weigh EVERYTHING you make and log EVERY bite you take.0 -
We have all been there. I have always struggled with my weight.
As for your diet...and I am saying this with kindness...you are eating junk. There is not much real food.
Start buying real food. Most of your food should come from a plant or lean meat. Choose whole grains and eat those earlier in the day.
Try plain basic oatmeal for breakfast. I eat it every morning and add a little protein powder and some frozen blueberries or chopped apple.
For lunch- If you are going to eat pasta or rice or bread..best to eat it during lunch.
Dinner- have a big salad with some chicken or tuna on it and load up the veggies. A nice lean meat with some grilled veggies. Even a big bowl of Soup..choose broth based with lots of vegetables.
Cut your soda- (which is what I am trying to do as well)
Find a low calorie treat you like and use that as a dessert each day. I like fudgsicles.
Also cut out alcohol.
Start strength training and do cardio at least 3 times a week.
I hope this helps..believe me..I am still working on my weight loss so I know how you feel!
Good luck to you!0 -
Sheesh. Give the girl a break!
I don't imagine it's easy to lay yourself bare in front of complete strangers when you already feel like a failure...and having your honesty questioned on top of it?!
I get that most of you are just trying to help, but let's not kick the girl while she's down huh?
*steels herself for the onslaught*0 -
If she's not losing then she's not only eating above what she thought she was, she'd be eating above her TDEE ... correct?
Emma - Yes, she's laying herself out there, but *kitten* pats and unicorn farts will not always get a point across. Being defensive when valid points are being brought up is counterproductive for OP also. "Portion distortion" is the thing that trips up pretty much everyone, like a previous poster and peanut butter (for me it was cheese), and questioning a food that is typically high in calories and carbs is not "having her honesty questioned". Sure she feels she's being honest, but that doesn't mean she can't be wrong.0 -
According to a calculator my TDEE is: 8708 kJ / 2081 calories. I don't see how I could be eating more than that just by using measuring cups, while aiming for 1000.0
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Go see your doctor. It's not a wacky, new exciting idea, but it's the smart way to begin any weight loss journey.
If your at your wits' end and you've tried all the fitness gurus online, give doing the thing every expert advises you to do first a chance.
Or keep trying things that aren't decided based on you specifically by people who aren't qualified to help you.
Up to you! Good luck with whatever you do.
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I wasn't accusing you of lying. I'm suggesting rather that you might be eating more then you think you are. In fact, you are almost guaranteed to be, otherwise your results simply are not explainable. What about the days you don't log?I am truly telling you the truth. Yes.0 -
Agree that you need to open your diary. One of two things is happening. You are either eating much more then you think you are by not tracking accurately (a very very very very common occurrence), or you have some kind of metabolic disease that makes you not lose weight on a level of calories that would make most other people your height and weight lose. My advice would be open your diary, and have a doctor run a panel of blood work to check for metabolic diseases.
Yes, this. Can easy happen to anyone. Happened to me more before.0 -
Go see your doctor. It's not a wacky, new exciting idea, but it's the smart way to begin any weight loss journey.
If your at your wits' end and you've tried all the fitness gurus online, give doing the thing every expert advises you to do first a chance.
Or keep trying things that aren't decided based on you specifically by people who aren't qualified to help you.
Up to you! Good luck with whatever you do.
The problem with this is that I don't have a family doctor, I don't know who to see, and I haven't really got any money. One of the reasons I eat so much "bad" food is that it's cheaper.0 -
Love that! You're right of course, but surely there's a happy medium somewhere? I don't imagine she came here expecting folks to blow wind up her bum, but given the obvious fragility exposed in her original post I think some may have found a slightly gentler approach may have resonated more.
Emma - Yes, she's laying herself out there, but *kitten* pats and unicorn farts will not always get a point across.
Regardless, there is lots of very useful information and valid advice here, so hopefully the OP will understand it is given with the best intention, even if the delivery is a little confronting.
Happy days ya'll. 0 -
Get rid of the breads and carbs except for the fruits and vegetables. no cereal no yogurt watch the sugar.Thank you, I've opened it.0 -
Pop over to NZ and I'll feed ya the good stuff...for nothing.Go see your doctor. It's not a wacky, new exciting idea, but it's the smart way to begin any weight loss journey.
If your at your wits' end and you've tried all the fitness gurus online, give doing the thing every expert advises you to do first a chance.
Or keep trying things that aren't decided based on you specifically by people who aren't qualified to help you.
Up to you! Good luck with whatever you do.
The problem with this is that I don't have a family doctor, I don't know who to see, and I haven't really got any money. One of the reasons I eat so much "bad" food is that it's cheaper.
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This has nothing to do with why she isn't losing weight. Calories in vs calories out > carbs. ALWAYS.
Get rid of the breads and carbs except for the fruits and vegetables. no cereal no yogurt watch the sugar.Thank you, I've opened it.0 -
Most cities have free clinics. Some churches have doctors and nurses who see people occasionally, too. That's becoming more and more common. If you live out in the boonies and don't have a car and can't get to a free doctor, ask in a church or synagogue if they know of doctors who will see you. They probably do.Go see your doctor. It's not a wacky, new exciting idea, but it's the smart way to begin any weight loss journey.
If your at your wits' end and you've tried all the fitness gurus online, give doing the thing every expert advises you to do first a chance.
Or keep trying things that aren't decided based on you specifically by people who aren't qualified to help you.
Up to you! Good luck with whatever you do.
The problem with this is that I don't have a family doctor, I don't know who to see, and I haven't really got any money. One of the reasons I eat so much "bad" food is that it's cheaper.
Anyone who has been sick will tell you that health is more important than anything. Taking chances with your life is a bad idea. Get a doctor and get yourself checked out every year. If you don't do that, little things can be missed until they're big things and it is too late.
Put your health first, every single time. Always.
Junk food is generally not cheaper. Starbucks and Boo Berry are much more expensive than fruits and veggies. If you look around, you should be able to buy fruits and veggies pretty cheap. A bag of frozen mixed veggies at my grocery store is $.99 and I don't even shop discount grocery stores. Buy cheaper meats in bulk.
And if you're all that broke, apply for food stamps. They hand them out like candy these days. I know it sucks being broke!! Lord, I have been there!! But try to do what you can to be healthy, KWIM?
Good luck.0 -
Read this:
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1454303-2-years-of-maintenance-130-pounds-lost
She 'gets it'.
It is probably the best post I've ever read about weight loss, but mostly about maintaining the loss.
Good luck.0 -
________________________________________________________________________________If you keep doing what you're doing, you'll keep getting what you're getting. So when someone suggests a change, see if you can put it on a list of things to try.
Here's my suggestion:
Stop trying to be xxxx lbs.
Instead, say I'm going to do this for 26 weeks.
What's that?
1. Log accurately everything that you eat. Every condiment. Everything. If you get pristine about nothing else, get pristine about logging. If you don't know where you are, there is no map to get you where you are going. Review your logs daily and weekly and use them to help you make changes.
2. Walk 3x a week for 30 minutes -- someplace nice. Make this walk a treat. Don't just go around your same old block. Go downtown. Go to the waterfront. Go hike an easy trail. It seems silly to drive 5 miles just to walk 1.5 miles, but it's not silly -- it's its own reward. It will help you look forward to the walk.
3. Weigh and measure once in a while and keep up your tracking stats, but don't worry about it.
Now this assumes everything is already set up right. MFP knows you want to be 170 and lose 2 lbs a week. If not go http://www.myfitnesspal.com/account/change_goals_guided and set those up. It should take you 26 weeks to be around your goal, but it won't be a straight line -- and remember, your goal is the 26 weeks of #1 through #3 above. We're going to focus on getting good information about your diet and keeping you moving in a rewarding way. These are things we can control. We're not going to worry about what the scale says tomorrow, that is out of our control.
This is one of the nicest, sincerest pieces of advice I've read - heartfelt and caring. What a nice guy. And I'm listening to it too.0 -
You're making assumptions about her BMR. I really wish MFP let us put in tested values for that.0
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If you are not being 100% consistent with your food logging, you have no way of knowing if you are actually eating 1,000, or 1,200 or 15,000,000 calories a day. No way at all.
1. Set a REASONABLE goal for yourself. 1,200 cals might be enough for a small person under 5 feet who is bedridden, but certainly not anywhere near enough for a 216lb woman of average height (I'm assuming your're average) Find your TDEE and eat 20% fewer calories than that number.
2. Buy a kitchen scale, preferably digital. Use it for EVERY. LAST. CRUMB. of food that goes into your mouth.
3. Log every last one of those crumbs into your diary consistently, for at least two months.
If you stick to this, you'll HAVE to lose weight. Your body must obey the laws of science and thermogenics. If you eat fewer cals than you are expending, your body will have no choice but to let go of your fat.
If you do all this and you still do not lose weight, you may have a medical condition affecting your thyroid. See a doctor if all else fails.
All of this. You need to log accurately and consistently, and you need a reasonable and sustainable goal.0 -
The only assumptions being made about her BMR is that it isn't shockingly low. For her not to lose on a daily average of 1000 calories, her TDEE would need to be 1000 or less. This means her BMR would have to be even lower then that. Again, only 2 possible conclusions exist: 1 is that she has a metabolic disorder that makes her BMR and TDEE incredibly low, or she is eating more calories then she thinks.You're making assumptions about her BMR. I really wish MFP let us put in tested values for that.0 -
The only assumptions being made about her BMR is that it isn't shockingly low. For her not to lose on a daily average of 1000 calories, her TDEE would need to be 1000 or less. This means her BMR would have to be even lower then that. Again, only 2 possible conclusions exist: 1 is that she has a metabolic disorder that makes her BMR and TDEE incredibly low, or she is eating more calories then she thinks.You're making assumptions about her BMR. I really wish MFP let us put in tested values for that.
^^^ This!!!0 -
This has nothing to do with why she isn't losing weight. Calories in vs calories out > carbs. ALWAYS.
Get rid of the breads and carbs except for the fruits and vegetables. no cereal no yogurt watch the sugar.Thank you, I've opened it.
It had everything to do with why I was not lising weight this time last year. I was hiking in the hills 3 miles a day and still gaining. And then I did was what I suggested to her. And here I am a year later 4.5 inches less. She could try it0 -
Sorry but that was purely coincidence.Your body treats a gram of carbs as 4 calories. Doesn't matter if it's from bread, table sugar, or fruit. If you started restricting a large group of foods there is a good chance you also reduced your daily calories. That could be why you started losing weight. Again, if you believe in physics, then in the long run you will lose weight if you eat in a deficit. If you had some kind of gluten allergy then inflammation could have masked fat (and inches) lost. This simply means the scale didn't show the fat loss, not that it wasn't occurring.
This has nothing to do with why she isn't losing weight. Calories in vs calories out > carbs. ALWAYS.
Get rid of the breads and carbs except for the fruits and vegetables. no cereal no yogurt watch the sugar.Thank you, I've opened it.
It had everything to do with why I was not lising weight this time last year. I was hiking in the hills 3 miles a day and still gaining. And then I did was what I suggested to her. And here I am a year later 4.5 inches less. She could try it0 -
This content has been removed.
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This has nothing to do with why she isn't losing weight. Calories in vs calories out > carbs. ALWAYS.
Get rid of the breads and carbs except for the fruits and vegetables. no cereal no yogurt watch the sugar.Thank you, I've opened it.
Get rid of the bread and carbs and refined sugar. Why not try this?
Calories in vs. calories out? Usually. But not every person is the same. There are many success stories of people losing weight by dumping carbs and sugar (perhaps because they end up eating fewer calories)
Try it. It won't cost you anything.
Actually, yes, every person is the same. Every person has to take in less calories than they burn in order to lose weight. Some can achieve this by cutting carbs but it's not necessary unless there's a medical condition that calls for it.0 -
Go see your doctor. It's not a wacky, new exciting idea, but it's the smart way to begin any weight loss journey.
If your at your wits' end and you've tried all the fitness gurus online, give doing the thing every expert advises you to do first a chance.
Or keep trying things that aren't decided based on you specifically by people who aren't qualified to help you.
Up to you! Good luck with whatever you do.
The problem with this is that I don't have a family doctor, I don't know who to see, and I haven't really got any money. One of the reasons I eat so much "bad" food is that it's cheaper.
Somewhere along the line...if you want to be successful at this...you have to find a way to get around all of these obstacles that you say you are facing...give up the excuses for failing.
When I started...I had 101 excuses...I now only have 21 left to go...the last 21lbs.
Yes...some food is expensive...find a cheaper alternative.
Yes...some days you would like to just eat and not think about how many calories it is...estimate...or eat and then start all over the next day.
I don't mean to be harsh but honestly...you will keep failing until you want it bad enough...to get rid of the excuses.0 -
If you keep doing what you're doing, you'll keep getting what you're getting. So when someone suggests a change, see if you can put it on a list of things to try.
Here's my suggestion:
Stop trying to be xxxx lbs.
Instead, say I'm going to do this for 26 weeks.
What's that?
1. Log accurately everything that you eat. Every condiment. Everything. If you get pristine about nothing else, get pristine about logging. If you don't know where you are, there is no map to get you where you are going. Review your logs daily and weekly and use them to help you make changes.
2. Walk 3x a week for 30 minutes -- someplace nice. Make this walk a treat. Don't just go around your same old block. Go downtown. Go to the waterfront. Go hike an easy trail. It seems silly to drive 5 miles just to walk 1.5 miles, but it's not silly -- it's its own reward. It will help you look forward to the walk.
3. Weigh and measure once in a while and keep up your tracking stats, but don't worry about it.
Now this assumes everything is already set up right. MFP knows you want to be 170 and lose 2 lbs a week. If not go http://www.myfitnesspal.com/account/change_goals_guided and set those up. It should take you 26 weeks to be around your goal, but it won't be a straight line -- and remember, your goal is the 26 weeks of #1 through #3 above. We're going to focus on getting good information about your diet and keeping you moving in a rewarding way. These are things we can control. We're not going to worry about what the scale says tomorrow, that is out of our control.
I think this is very good advice.
I'd also see a doctor. If you are confident that your logs are accurate, bring them. In fact, since it will take a while to get an appointment, probably, make sure you keep careful records while waiting and bring that.0 -
I am not sure why the OP originally posted this. She is comming across as defensive and shrugging off the advice. My advice to the OP is to listen to the great advice already given.0
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Calories in calories out ALWAYS, not usually. Every person is the same in that they lose weight in a deficit. This is a LAW OF PHYSICS. If people lost weight through cutting carbs it wasn't probably because they ate fewer calories, it was ONLY because they ate fewer calories. The same goes for the guy who lost tons of weight eating nothing but McDonalds. It wasn't because his body works better eating fast food, it was because he reduced calories in to a point that they were less the calories out. Unless you have liposuction, this is simply how fat is lost in the long term.
This has nothing to do with why she isn't losing weight. Calories in vs calories out > carbs. ALWAYS.
Get rid of the breads and carbs except for the fruits and vegetables. no cereal no yogurt watch the sugar.Thank you, I've opened it.
Get rid of the bread and carbs and refined sugar. Why not try this?
Calories in vs. calories out? Usually. But not every person is the same. There are many success stories of people losing weight by dumping carbs and sugar (perhaps because they end up eating fewer calories)
Try it. It won't cost you anything.0 -
I did that very thing on Monday. It works.and worst case scenario, take a picture of your food and then log it when you get home.0
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