My Motivation

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pirate_john_75
pirate_john_75 Posts: 96 Member
in Motivation and Support
I had a short version of this on another thread a while back but the whole thread was deleted... Dunno why...

Anyway...

I have known my wife for about four and a half years and we have been married for almost three. I'm 39 and she's 37. All the time we have been married she has been bugging me to lose weight. I kept putting it off, not working out, eating junk food, and all the while she kept saying how terrified she was that I would get sick some day and that she would have to watch me wither away, then lose me and be a widow.

Fast forward to about two months ago. She was having some pains in her stomach but didn't know what it was. Several doctor visits and a week-long vacation to Maine later and we find out that she has stomach cancer. Stage four. It has spread all over her lungs to the point where she can barely breathe. As I type this, she has a CPAP pumping 80% pure oxygen into her just so she can have enough O2 in her blood. The oncologist says that treatment right now is just about prolonging life as much as possible.

Two months ago she was perfectly healthy.

And after all this time, the irony is that I am the one who has to worry about taking care of her and face the prospect of being a widow. Remember that part about us both being in our thirties?

So that is my motivation now. I'm losing the weight for her. I have already dropped 17 pounds (I had lost four before starting MFP) and am still dropping. My goal right now is to run next July's San Francisco Half Marathon and collect donations for stomach cancer research in her name.
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Replies

  • Zerodette
    Zerodette Posts: 200 Member
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    That's terrible. I'm so sorry to hear that.
  • pirate_john_75
    pirate_john_75 Posts: 96 Member
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    My wife lost her fight early Saturday morning at 2:00. It's been a tough weekend but I'm slowly starting to heal and am more determined than ever to reach my goal in her memory.
  • tayleigh4
    tayleigh4 Posts: 90 Member
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    God bless you. You are in my prayers. I'm so proud of you, you're staying strong through all of this. You're becoming more healthy for yourself and for her. I don't know you, but from what I see, you are a courageous person. This type of motivation will never go away. She will always be with you. Never forget that she always wanted the best for you. Please never give up. If you need anything you can message me anytime. My grandmother died, but before she died she said 'When you're ready to lose weight, you will.' she also told me that she believed in me, and when she died she wanted me to be happy and love myself. Stay strong.
  • TFG_em
    TFG_em Posts: 174 Member
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    This is heartbreaking. I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope MFP gives you the support you need to reach your goals; for yourself and for your wife. I'm sure she was very proud of your progress and your decision to live a healthier lifestyle for her.
  • MamaRiss
    MamaRiss Posts: 481 Member
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    I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope that you are able to keep her memory alive, and honor her every day by continuing to reach toward the goal she wanted for you
  • LeonCX
    LeonCX Posts: 862 Member
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    I was reading some of your old posts and found it incredible that you could motivate other people here while going through what you have gone through. I'm really sorry for what has happened.
  • ITgoddess1
    ITgoddess1 Posts: 17
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    So sorry for your loss!!
  • brightsideofpink
    brightsideofpink Posts: 1,018 Member
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    I am so so sorry. What a horrible loss. I can't even imagine how you are feeling right now. Thank you for taking the time to remind us of just how precious our time here is. It is tragic that some things are so completely beyond our control, but I hope myself and others will benefit from your story and remember to take care of those things that are within.
  • Allterrain_Lady
    Allterrain_Lady Posts: 421 Member
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    Oh my God I don't know how to express anything that wouldn't sound awfully mundane or that would bring you some comfort.
    I'm really sorry for your loss. There's no words for what happened and I really hope you'll feel better soon.
  • awolf2011
    awolf2011 Posts: 265 Member
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    I'm so sorry for your loss. No words can describe how you must be feeling at this moment. Your wife would be proud of you for taking this step into getting your life healthier. You can do this for yourself and for her!! My MIL passed away at the age of 63 almost 3 years ago and it was the hardest thing I had ever had to deal with. Telling my 2 older children at the time was one of the hardest conversations of my life. I vowed then and there that I would get healthy for them and I slowly getting back into it. My youngest of 4 just turned 10 months yesterday. My MIL had diabetes and she loved food and loved feeding anyone that would pull up a chair. That is what took her life, food. It is a disease and we can all fight this battle together!! Thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.
  • Curlychip
    Curlychip Posts: 292 Member
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    How completely awful, Im so sorry xxx
  • Zerodette
    Zerodette Posts: 200 Member
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    I'm sorry for your loss. Continue to take things one day at a time.
  • cdavis1511
    cdavis1511 Posts: 22 Member
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    YOU are an inspiration. Your wife is in my prayers. I lost my mom just over a year ago to GIST (gastrointestinal cancer). My dad still says he always thought she would outlive him by 20 years (he'e the one with high blood pressure, etc.) Now my dad is almost 60 and walking/jogging everyday so he can be healthier. My dad and my mom's memory are my motivation.

    Your wife's battle is only going to get tougher, be strong for her and be strong for yourself even when she's gone.
  • pirate_john_75
    pirate_john_75 Posts: 96 Member
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    I've already convinced several people to join "Team Nathalie" to raise money for the Gastric Cancer Foundation. I'd love to raise at least $10k in her name if I can.
  • ValGogo
    ValGogo Posts: 2,168 Member
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    That's a beautiful motivating story. I wish you the best and am glad to know there is love in this world.

    I will keep you and your wife in my thoughts.
  • jonmscharff
    jonmscharff Posts: 72 Member
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    I am so so sorry for your loss. I know that she is looking down and supporting you on the health/weight loss journey. Nathalie will never really be gone as long as you hold her memory in your heart. My thoughts and prayers for out to you and your family.
  • Baconist
    Baconist Posts: 74 Member
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    My heart goes out to you and your wife.
  • brightresolve
    brightresolve Posts: 1,024 Member
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    So very sorry for your loss. I hope your dedication to your goal, and the way you are reaching out to others to share your motivation, give you strength today and in the days ahead.

    Your wife wanted you to be healthy and strong; you're working to honor her spirit. That's SO beautiful. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
  • strutdivastrut
    strutdivastrut Posts: 105 Member
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    Praying for you and your wife.Stay motivated.
  • pirate_john_75
    pirate_john_75 Posts: 96 Member
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    Just ran three miles for the first time in two years. She was in my thoughts the whole time, pushing me along.

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