Found My Voice, I wasn't "Hangry"

susanmOAKLAND

Good for you! I love this ad applaud you.

MadDogManor

Guess I'm the lone b!tch who doesn't think OP needs to apologize.

Not at all. I'm a b!tch, too, and I dislike my coworkers with the fire of a thousand suns, and probably would have snapped much worse than she did.

NoStoppingNow77

I could be wrong but it sounds like your co-worker was just taking her weaknesses and insecurities out on you. Like, how dare you have the strength to not eat the junk food while I do? As a person who's been overweight most of her life I have always found the best joy pigging out around other people who ate just like me. When someone was eating healthy around me it made me feel bad about myself. However, I'd never try to talk someone into eating junk with me. And I probably would have apologized. Not because I thought I should but because I wouldn't want the strife in the work place.

sweetcurlz67

So glad you found your voice!!! It was tough in my office when I found mine, ppl called me obsessed, & all sorts of names. Said the same things as that girl: you can eat that cake, doughnut, blah blah blah, but stick to your guns!!! Proud of you!!!

JustFindingMe

I dislike my coworkers with the fire of a thousand suns
.

Im sorry but this made me laugh :laugh:


ETA : And. OP, after the bet comment from your co-worker, you showed really good restraint. She sounds like a *kitten*.

sodakat

The chick was an *kitten* making a bet with her mom whether or not you'd cave and eat the goodies, but it is kind of funny that she had premeditated sabotage, when you were feeling so bad about hurting her feelings.

I think situations like this go in waves. Your reaction I mean. Likely there will be a time when you can take the piece of cake, eat a bite or two, then put the plate away or toss it. Probably will also be a time when you will want to eat the whole piece, cutting back on some other foods to equal the calories eaten later in the day, or just going over a bit. I mean our focus and ability to control our food choices does change throughout the process of losing weight, especially if you have a lot to lose, IMO.

But it can be confusing to those around us, regardless if we owe them an explanation or care to share where we are currently at in our attempt to weigh less. I know I'm less jumpy when someone offers me goodies than I was 5 or 6 months ago because I'm more at ease in those situations now. And sometimes I accept and bring the food home to my husband!

I drive school bus and when kids have birthdays they often bring and share cupcakes. Now I just thank them, accept the treat, then bring it home to DH. Win, win situation. Of course once in a while I eat it!

Zerodette

I usually say the whole "People are sabotaging me!" thing is just an excuse. But she was pestering you because of a bet?? What teen movie does she think she lives in??

Sabine_Stroehm

Guess I'm the lone b!tch who doesn't think OP needs to apologize.

I don't necessarily think she needs to apologize either.

Her "friend" was being rude and pushy. She got pushed too far and said something kinda mean.

If it was me, I probably *would* apologize if I wanted things to be "comfortable" with that person. But I don't think she needs to.

I'd be curious to see how the other person behaves from here on out.

If it was me, IF the other lady did that again, I'd say: Did you NOT hear me last time? Do I really need to repeat myself?

Hey, good job OP. I would have probably gotten pissed. Taken the cookie and crumbled it on the floor and walked out.

ETA: now I've read the rest of the story. The other lady is a btch who does not deserve any kind of apology. JESUS. Who does that?

elisa123gal

food pushers do so for various reasons..mostly to have a partner in crime…but others do it to be fun and out of habit. It is irritating..and sometimes you can feel like they are doing it to sabbatoge your diet.

I'd take the cake..walk down the hall and ditch it in the trash. So much eaiser than being the odd man out..or having the conversation you had.

Catter_05

I think anger gets a bad rap. Even if you were it's ok to be angry with someone who is behaving like that. Seriously! Would it be ok to tease a person about another health problem? If I would have been there I would have been angry witnessing it even if it weren't happening to me. As a witness I would have stepped in and said something. She was being kind of aggressive about it! You even told her it was for health reasons and she kept at it.
It's ok to stand up for yourself. The words you used weren't the best, but I find it difficult to stick up for myself. I say good for you! I suggest having a plan in place so that the next time someone pushes you into a corner you have an out that doesn't make you feel bad. Next time it may be a family member or someone who you care more about.
For me it will probably be my dad. He has boundary issues! He won't understand that just because I look healthy on the outside if my blood sugar gets out of whack I will get a migraine. For a smart man he can be rather clueless!
Good luck!

sofaking6

Guess I'm the lone b!tch who doesn't think OP needs to apologize.

Not a chance. I'm all down for the no apologies in this situation.

We gotta travel in packs, ya know.

I'm with you guys. Co-worker started it by not showing any respect to OP. I think it's great that OP fought back and I do not think she should have to parse her response for perfection. If co-worker can't take it then she shouldn't be dishing it out...literally!

ETA: She did it for a bet??? In that case, I think OP was way too nice to her. I think it's fair to wonder aloud, in front of everyone, what major emotional malfunction is causing her to act like such a b****.

leighannMT

I am new here, so Hello.
I think your coworker should have stopped at NO means NO, and I am glad you did not give a big ole apology....look at what really happened - she was Wayyyy out of line.
Boundaries are a good thing!

klkarlen

it wouldn't hurt for you to say, "I'm sorry for the way i spoke to you" and leave it at that, do not add that you were pushed, or she was being too whatever, or any other excuse. be the bigger (er sorry) person. if she's a decent person she will also apologize.

+1

Oh, just read the next day post, hope she choked on one of the apple slices. That is just wrong on so many levels.

independant2406

Good for you OP for sticking to your guns. Some people love to sabotage others. I'll never understand why.

Need2Exerc1se

I think the comment about the person looking in the mirror was a little over the line. I probably would apologize for blowing my top, but not for refusing the food.

The rant itself is understandable. Why do people think it's okay to be forcefully rude when offering food to others? I've seen it happen many times. It's happened to me. It's crazy.

I stopped arguing over food a long time ago. If I say no, that's the end of it. Leave a piece of cake I've said no to on my desk and I'll toss in the trash right in front of you.

VeryKatie

The chick was an *kitten* making a bet with her mom whether or not you'd cave and eat the goodies, but it is kind of funny that she had premeditated sabotage, when you were feeling so bad about hurting her feelings.

Simply, this ^

JoRocka

Guess I'm the lone b!tch who doesn't think OP needs to apologize.

I don't necessarily think she needs to apologize either.

Her "friend" was being rude and pushy. She got pushed too far and said something kinda mean.

If it was me, I probably *would* apologize if I wanted things to be "comfortable" with that person. But I don't think she needs to.

I'd be curious to see how the other person behaves from here on out.

If it was me, IF the other lady did that again, I'd say: Did you NOT hear me last time? Do I really need to repeat myself?

Hey, good job OP. I would have probably gotten pissed. Taken the cookie and crumbled it on the floor and walked out.

ETA: now I've read the rest of the story. The other lady is a btch who does not deserve any kind of apology. JESUS. Who does that?

I'm 100% with the "do not apologize crowd" - even though I see there is more to the story- I still am convinced no apology needed.

With aggressive food "pushers" my go to comment is "if I want to look like you- I'll eat like you" . Seriously- after two "no thank you's" and they keep coming- you gotta get a little nasty with them.

nope nope nope- no apology- stand up for yourself. and mean it.

You did good.

Stoshew71

I think you need a bake a chocolate cake (filled with ExLax), cut a big piece out to make it look like leftovers, come in early (before everyone), plant it near the co-workers desk, hide until more people show up, looked confused when people ask where the cake came from.

sherambler

Good for you for holding your ground. I hate when this happens. Our office is like The Office TV show where we have a party like every week for the most ridiculous reasons. A birthday or promotion is reasonable, but we do a party for everything. We even have days called "Office Pig Out" or OPOs, that occur at least once a month and twice if there's a holiday. It's annoying because it happens so often. Clearly, your co-worker should've backed off, it's like they get so wrapped up in the song and dance of it all.

Still, I would apologize. You can't expect to get an apology for her harassing/not going away/not listening to you if you're not willing to apologize for what you're at fault for.

Also, even if you decide that you ultimately don't want or need to apologize, be aware that she could always complain to your boss/HR since, if I'm reading this right, it happened at work. If you apologize, you at least cut the train off at the pass rather than having it catch up to you.

duffmama

No need for an apology. Sometimes you have to get a little rude with people who still don't have a clue when you've given them a whole bag full. Misery loves company and sometimes it's hard to watch someone have the discipline to eat healthy. When I'm doing well my coworkers scrutinize every thing I eat, and when I don't I'm getting high fives, like I've joined the "i don't give a f**k club".