How do you deal with critics?

MercenaryNoetic26

I would slap her silly with an awesome comeback, but first, I'd give her my most wicked smile to prepare her for her imminent defeat.

... but wait there's more! Then I'd eat some tortilla chips with cheesy refried beans and swirl the queso with my tongue all up in her fizace. IIFYM biotch what u know bout dat?

SerendipitySkye

I had someone like this in my life. Every time she said something just like what she is saying to you, I would say, "Thank you for the advice. I appreciate it." And then go about my business. I could actually see her get tense inside because she was not getting a rise from me. After awhile, my cheery attitude with her got boring to her, I guess, and she moved on to someone else. I filled the next person in on what to say....it was fun to watch as she got bored with her too. Good luck!! ~Skye :flowerforyou:

Kate7294

Some people are just "Negative Nellies". She probably strives to bring other's down to her level. "Kill her with kindness" and be happy.

mswoodsy

Punch her in the face.

Specifically the jaw...

999tigger

A thread this long means you are bound to have sensible advice. Shoot me for repeating it.
What the first poster said she does it because you are an easy target, it distracts her from her own shortcomings.

You dont have to turn on her, but have a quiet word and point out she is constantly making commenst about what you can and cannot eat. Ask her why she does it because you find it most unhelpful, but she might not realise, she is doing it(she knows very well what she is doing but she needs a way out). You can also point out you know what you are doing and have the support of a nutritionist, your Dr and many friends plus others who have achieved weight loss. You have the results so are very confident you know what you are doing.

Just ask her in future if she wouldnt mind not commenting, bow she knows how you view it. Leave it at that.
Do it with confidence and I dont think she will come back at you. If you dont have the confidence do it in front of colleagues so she cant attack your reasonable request.

If she cant respect your wishes then you know shes an trouble causer and deserves to be treated accordingly.

You sound like you are doing a fantastic job, dont give this woman any more time other than above imo.

Fatandfifty3

Bore her mute! Next time she offers a 'helpful' comment really turn into her and start to talk earnestly and non stop about how much you've lost/how you did it/what your aspirations are/how good it feels now/how bad it felt before/what you have just bought clothes wise/macros/statistics/etc/etc -you get the idea. Don't let her walk away. Pin her down and lecture her. Every. Freakin. Time. She. Does. It.

willywonka

I have so many coworkers like this. The haters gonna hate always. I remember hearing one of our MANGERS making fun of me to his then twenty year old attractive girl that works for him. We had a breakfast at work and I was in there getting some, They walked in and just looked at me and I didn't even get out of earshot and he says to her, be careful or you will end up looking like her.

I never forgot that, and still to this day they ridicule others. You just go about your business and try to ignore what others say, misery loves company and I tell myself these people must have some real insecurities somewhere.
And you have us here for all the support, encouragement :flowerforyou:

p_emmel5

I have never understood why some people strive to bring others down to their level of dispair just because they are too lazy or weak to raise themselves up.

Really enjoyed the comment (paraphrased) about thanking her for the advice since she has done such a good job with her own health. :bigsmile:

You did the right thing by just ignoring her. There isn't much you can do to people like that as they have no respect of themselves. Then again, sometimes they just don't realize they are being dumb *kitten* until it is pointed out. That may be all it takes. Going to HR is one step, but once you do the investigation is out of your hands and you can't stop it. I personally would approach her, with a witness, and tell her the comments are not appropriate. If the comments continue take it to your supervisor, they are legally bound to address the situation.

TiberiusClaudis

I nod, I smile, I carry on doing what I'm doing.

**Side note - I used to get teased some by co workers about my food choices (I eat a lot of chocolate/crisps at work). They'd say 'Oh, are you really going to eat all that. Just so you can burn it off at the gym?'

I followed the nod, smile, carry on approach.. I still eat my chocolate. And they've stopped mentioning it.

Similar to this. I have a coworker that lifts and is actually strong...but his diet sucks. As I was getting ready for my first BB comp, I had to get my BF down to 5% or below. This guy would insist on me following his advice...low carb diet...didn't matter how many calories you ate, just keep carbs rock bottom low. ....wtf? Thought logging was useless. And of course I had to follow his advice on workouts. In my mind I'm thinking, you are like 20% BF and when I'm going for strength vs size, my PR would blow yours away. But instead, I simply nod my head and say...yea, I'll have to try that.

Overall, he is a great guy. So I figure I can live with this behavior. Take what you can if you can...just keep doing what you are doing...looks like it's working!

IsaackGMOON

I get the same thing OP.

"Can you eat that?" , "Shouldn't you be eating a salad?" , "You'll probably put the weight back on". It gets annoying.. I guess I'm quite sensitive towards this, but I've realised that telling these people that their negativity is not needed usually shuts them up.

onefortyone

I *DARE* someone to critique my eating. I have Resting B*tchface so hardly ever get comments, except that strangers used to tell me to smile.

Have you tried practicing your b*tchface?

ArvinSloane

My favorite thing to say when people give unsolicited advice: "Thank you. I'll definitely give that the consideration it deserves." Bonus points for a super-classy smile while you say it, followed by going back to whatever you were doing anyway.

ValGogo

Hmmmm...how about while she's saying it, you can say "You know what? Thanks but I got this. It's working for me."

Foamroller

Bore her mute! Next time she offers a 'helpful' comment really turn into her and start to talk earnestly and non stop about how much you've lost/how you did it/what your aspirations are/how good it feels now/how bad it felt before/what you have just bought clothes wise/macros/statistics/etc/etc -you get the idea. Don't let her walk away. Pin her down and lecture her. Every. Freakin. Time. She. Does. It.

This!
I was going to say, do something sensible, but the above post got me laughing:)
It's very clever in a sort of evil way...muhahaha!

RunerRita

When someone changes their life for the better many people are jealous and are thinking more about themselves than you. They know they should be changing certain things and would rather not so instead make comments to try and belittle your achievements. It is hard and you want to feed into it but don't. Less is more when it comes to them. Congratulations on your success!!!!

FitOldMomma

Thanks all! You are awesome!

I do wish there was a real life "block" function.

Bonus is that with my weight loss I will meet all 4 fitness goals; BP, Cholesterol, Non-smoking, and BMI, that our company has set to qualify for a discount on our health insurance premiums and I will have $0 deductible. She, on the other hand, will have a $1500 deductible.

Well, that right there is fantastic! Good for you. I hope you do mention your ZERO dollars deductible to her.

DSTMT

I know how I'd deal with that. Other people may decide to not use this method.

When she says something negative, take out a piece of paper and write it down, together with the date and time. Use the same piece of paper each time, so anyone can see what she's said and you've written.

She'll stop saying those things by about the third or fourth time.

If she asks why you're writing it, say "it's for your Wikipedia webpage on the quotes section".

I second this suggestion, I'm betting this would shut her up pretty quickly :laugh:

MegE_N

I very rarely have critics among people who know me because, I think, they're afraid of me. And I love it.

If someone decides to tell me what I can/cannot eat? They know they are in for a verbal brawl. "Who the hell are you to tell anyone what they need to eat, what with blood pressure like yours?" I'm also perfectly fine going into darker territory. "I'll actually be having fajitas, thanks. Hey, how did things go with the marital shrink?"

It's not about being defensive about my weight - rather, it's about hating rudeness with the fire of a thousand suns. If someone decides to cross into the territory of the crass, I will play their game. Most times they don't do it again.

Stand up for yourself!