Why do so many women care what men prefer?

24

Replies

  • nilbogger
    nilbogger Posts: 870 Member
    This is normal to an extent... most women want to have male sex partners, so of course we think about what men are going to find attractive.

    It gets pontless when women on here ask if men prefer x or y. Obviously not all men are the same, so they aren't attracted to the same things.

    I have a big butt. Some men like big butts, some don't. I'm not going to get down to an unhealthy weight and/or get liposuction just to please SOME of the men who don't like what I have.

    At the end of the day all you have is yourself and you have to be comfortable in your own skin.
  • baconslave
    baconslave Posts: 7,024 Member
    Because society, advertising, shows and movies all tell us to care. So we are all brought up to think (this is the majority mind you) that our worth is in our ability to make all the men want to look at us. And women go along with it.

    If the man doesn't like you how you are, he isn't worth bothering with in the first place.

    The reverse applies for you, too, fellas! :wink: Let the haters hate, and find the real woman you should be with.


    2583079-4336037439-96097.jpg

    Edit: Damn, that ended up huge. Cartman is scary up close.
  • tibby531
    tibby531 Posts: 717 Member
    because how else are beauty and clothing companies going to make money if all us girls are only going interested in impressing ourselves? :wink:
  • yellowlemoned
    yellowlemoned Posts: 335 Member
    Honest answer: Because it feels good to have other people find you attractive. Not that you should change who you are, how you act, how you think, or anything about who you are as a person, but if your boyfriend/husband/whomever think you look great in the red dress, there isn't anything wrong with wearing the red dress on a date night to please them.

    Silly Answer: Because I'm totally worthless unless I have a man to complete me, and the only way to do that is change everything about who I am to fit into his perfect little wife-y mold, obviously! Duh!
  • solarpower03
    solarpower03 Posts: 12,161 Member
    Those who do, they are market centric and pragmatic. After all, one's value is determined by others. I might think I am most attractive person but if women don't think so, then, I am in living in delusion. This seems quite antithetical to what people think but is the reality.
  • _Tink_
    _Tink_ Posts: 3,845 Member
    It gets pontless when women on here ask if men prefer x or y. Obviously not all men are the same, so they aren't attracted to the same things.

    I have a big butt. Some men like big butts, some don't. I'm not going to get down to an unhealthy weight and/or get liposuction just to please SOME of the men who don't like what I have.

    At the end of the day all you have is yourself and you have to be comfortable in your own skin.

    This. This is exactly my point.
  • baconslave
    baconslave Posts: 7,024 Member
    lol screw what men prefer.

    giphy.gif

    sorry. I was composing mine while you were doing yours. Great minds! Yours is better. :laugh:
  • MissyK222
    MissyK222 Posts: 204 Member
    I blame a couple of reasons...
    1. The images of ''what beauty truly is" that society crams down our throats day in and day out.
    2. insecurities (already been said but its a big reason)
    3. also I think in a way its ingrained in us as women to want to please our men.... Independence within women has grown greatly since the 60's but sometimes I think we fall back into that mindset at times. We forget that we don't NEED a man to survive therefore we don't need to try so hard to please them.

    I am married and I do care that I look nice for my husband but I mostly care what I think. He does not tell me how I should be, he loves me for who I am, what I look like and what I wear and if he did try to turn me into something else I wouldn't be with him.
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
    Those who do, they are market centric and pragmatic. After all, one's value is determined by others. I might think I am most attractive person but if women don't think so, then, I am in living in delusion. This seems quite antithetical to what people think but is the reality.

    I can agree with bold
  • JoyeII
    JoyeII Posts: 240 Member
    I blame religion.
  • PrizePopple
    PrizePopple Posts: 3,133 Member
    Only one man, and that's the one I go to sleep next to every night. Yeah, I want to look good to him. And face it, him coming home to me in my sweats with my hair sticking out everywhere with a haggard look on my face and mumbling something about how I haven't made it to the shower yet today is NOT attractive. On the flip side it's not attractive when he hasn't shaved in 3 days, and has stinky man armpits.

    I'm normally a jeans and t-shirt with a pair of chucks kind of girl. My daughters get overjoyed when I wear a skirt, I know my husband is in no way offended either, and though I won't admit it to any of them I kind of like looking nicer too. I by no means go outside of any of my comfort zones, and I figure it balances all the times I actually leave the house in my PJs. :laugh:
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    Because if you ain't got a man yet it behooves you to become marketable by studying your target demographic. Once that deal is signed though you may return to DGAF mode. Like I did. But then you risk being cheated on. But then you can always just get a new man who likes fluffies. So, yeah. I guess we shouldn't care.

    I do have to fit into those fashioney clothes I like though. So there's that.



    #Iamtotallynotlosingweightforaman(husband)
    #Iamtotallylosingweightformen(designers)
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    I blame religion.

    Sounds about right.
  • MireyGal76
    MireyGal76 Posts: 7,334 Member
    In the end, I think they're just looking to be loved and accepted. They want to find out what kind of guy finds them attractive. If that type of guy is the type they go for, great. If not, they'll often try to adjust to become more of the type they one they're attracted to finds attractive.

    Personally, I only care what my man prefers, and only so I can do a lot more of it. hehe
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    In the end, I think they're just looking to be loved and accepted. They want to find out what kind of guy finds them attractive. If that type of guy is the type they go for, great. If not, they'll often try to adjust to become more of the type they one they're attracted to finds attractive.

    Personally, I only care what my man prefers, and only so I can do a lot more of it. hehe

    This is a good point. There are men who are attracted to everything I am not and could never be. Luckily those men are not very attractive to me. Although most women would disagree and I can agree they might be aesthetically pleasing to the eye they do nothing for me physically. So those women can have them. I am able to pull the kind of men I'm drawn to, turned on by and thusly the world keeps spinning in a magical way where there is enough for everyone and everyone gets what they want. #abundance
  • aimelee
    aimelee Posts: 216 Member
    another perk of being a lesbian is that i genuinely do not care what men think. :laugh: :wink:
  • NotShena
    NotShena Posts: 172 Member
    It's purely biological. Survival of the species and all that.
  • mikeshockley
    mikeshockley Posts: 684 Member
    That's all. Discuss as you like.

    Sex.
  • MireyGal76
    MireyGal76 Posts: 7,334 Member
    In the end, I think they're just looking to be loved and accepted. They want to find out what kind of guy finds them attractive. If that type of guy is the type they go for, great. If not, they'll often try to adjust to become more of the type they one they're attracted to finds attractive.

    Personally, I only care what my man prefers, and only so I can do a lot more of it. hehe

    This is a good point. There are men who are attracted to everything I am not and could never be. Luckily those men are not very attractive to me. Although most women would disagree and I can agree they might be aesthetically pleasing to the eye they do nothing for me physically. So those women can have them. I am able to pull the kind of men I'm drawn to, turned on by and thusly the world keeps spinning in a magical way where there is enough for everyone and everyone gets what they want. #abundance

    I'm in the same place... I love my guy - everything about him - and he loves me. I no longer give a ratsass whether anyone else finds me attractive. It's a glorious feeling, really. :happy:
  • SrJoben
    SrJoben Posts: 484 Member
    That's all. Discuss as you like.

    What is this thing you call "Love" human?
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    That's all. Discuss as you like.

    What is this thing you call "Love" human?

    giphy.gif
  • RavenLibra
    RavenLibra Posts: 1,737 Member
    one word.. Anthropology
  • tapirfrog
    tapirfrog Posts: 616 Member
    We care what men prefer because we are more likely to get laid if we look like what men prefer.

    It's the same if you're batting for the other team. When I was dating women I spent a *lot* of time carefully adjusting my baseball cap to just the right angle.
  • johnnylakis
    johnnylakis Posts: 812 Member
    I would say, one word fits: insecurity.
    Like
  • JojoW8183
    JojoW8183 Posts: 540 Member
    Really sick of the insecurity answer. How about because it's only natural to want to appeal to the opposite sex ... it's called sexual selection. If only we could admit to ourselves that we want to secure a sexual partner instead of berating other women for wanting to do exactly that. Disclaimer: not to be mistaken for putting up with abusive, degrading, or non-reciprocating partners, aka making sammiches for a demanding man who never makes you sammiches in return and doesn't respect you.

    Ding ding ding. Winner winner chicken dinner. Although I will say...some relationships are structured to make a sammich for the man that doesn't make you sammiches (because you don't eat them) and as long as both parties are into it, it's fine. Personally I also like kneeling by his chair while he strokes my hair :tongue:
  • trojan_bb
    trojan_bb Posts: 699 Member
    Because society, advertising, shows and movies all tell us to care. So we are all brought up to think (this is the majority mind you) that our worth is in our ability to make all the men want to look at us. And women go along with it.

    If the man doesn't like you how you are, he isn't worth bothering with in the first place.

    The reverse applies for you, too, fellas! :wink: Let the haters hate, and find the real woman you should be with.



    Edit: Damn, that ended up huge. Cartman is scary up close.

    You really believe this? You reject anthropology (mentioned earlier), biology, and the obvious patterns of other organisms that don't have access to TV, societal programming, advertising?

    I really wonder if I live in the same world as some of you.

    Those who do, they are market centric and pragmatic. After all, one's value is determined by others. I might think I am most attractive person but if women don't think so, then, I am in living in delusion. This seems quite antithetical to what people think but is the reality.

    Brings a tear to my eye to see subjective theory of value used in this topic. Great answer.
  • Spnneil06
    Spnneil06 Posts: 18,745 Member
    Actually I mostly dont! lol
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
    I think it's normal to take some interest in in the general preferences of "men" (assuming one is sexually and emotionally attracted to men). What's not okay is when we decide all men prefer the same exact thing and/or that we have to change our appearance (or even personality) to meet that preference in order to find a mate.
  • yellowlemoned
    yellowlemoned Posts: 335 Member
    Really sick of the insecurity answer. How about because it's only natural to want to appeal to the opposite sex ... it's called sexual selection. If only we could admit to ourselves that we want to secure a sexual partner instead of berating other women for wanting to do exactly that. Disclaimer: not to be mistaken for putting up with abusive, degrading, or non-reciprocating partners, aka making sammiches for a demanding man who never makes you sammiches in return and doesn't respect you.
    Agreed times a thousand.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    Because society, advertising, shows and movies all tell us to care. So we are all brought up to think (this is the majority mind you) that our worth is in our ability to make all the men want to look at us. And women go along with it.

    If the man doesn't like you how you are, he isn't worth bothering with in the first place.

    The reverse applies for you, too, fellas! :wink: Let the haters hate, and find the real woman you should be with.



    Edit: Damn, that ended up huge. Cartman is scary up close.

    You really believe this? You reject anthropology (mentioned earlier), biology, and the obvious patterns of other organisms that don't have access to TV, societal programming, advertising?

    I really wonder if I live in the same world as some of you.

    Those who do, they are market centric and pragmatic. After all, one's value is determined by others. I might think I am most attractive person but if women don't think so, then, I am in living in delusion. This seems quite antithetical to what people think but is the reality.

    Brings a tear to my eye to see subjective theory of value used in this topic. Great answer.

    Did you know that little kids (who might not have watched that much media) prefer pretty teachers to ugly ones and believe they are nicer and smarter and have other positive quality attributes when asked?

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