Any flexitarians? How do you explain your diet to others?

dlaplume2

I will throw another angle at this and I mean no harm. It doesn't matter to me what you eat and how. (gluten free, vegan, vegetarian, etc) When you go to a catered event, unless you have specific moral beliefs, or dietary restrictions you eat what is available, unless offered a choice up front.
I am only saying this, because I work in a restaurant that does A LOT of catering, and I work with a lot of people who organize these events. There is no way to accommodate and please everyone. You include some vegetarian options and hope you have enough. You include meat options too. It's a hard balance.
I am not trying to take away from what you are trying to accomplish. I just think that to be polite to the host, you could make sure there is enough for those people with a medical or moral need. I think it adds to the flexitarianism you are promoting.

Sorry if it seems harsh, but I would feel absolutely terrible if someone came to an event I hosted and couldn't eat anything I had available.

_bsquigs

My meals don't always include meat.

I prefer to tell people I eat food.

fallingwave

I'm similar, but I've never even thought to label myself as something such as a vegetarian - because I'm not - I do eat meat, just not daily like some. I would simply tell them "no, I'm not a vegetarian." Because that's the truth. I'm honestly surprised so many people ask, I think that's so rude.

VeryKatie

My friend bascially explained it to me as "I'm vegetarian, but I'll eat meat if I'm served it and I don't want people going out of the way. I'll just choose veggie when I have that option". It was simple. It made sense. So she's basically vegetarian when its convenient for everyone. It still satisfied her goal of reducing her meat consumption for moral reasons.

tabicatinthehat

I will throw another angle at this and I mean no harm. It doesn't matter to me what you eat and how. (gluten free, vegan, vegetarian, etc) When you go to a catered event, unless you have specific moral beliefs, or dietary restrictions you eat what is available, unless offered a choice up front.
I am only saying this, because I work in a restaurant that does A LOT of catering, and I work with a lot of people who organize these events. There is no way to accommodate and please everyone. You include some vegetarian options and hope you have enough. You include meat options too. It's a hard balance.
I am not trying to take away from what you are trying to accomplish. I just think that to be polite to the host, you could make sure there is enough for those people with a medical or moral need. I think it adds to the flexitarianism you are promoting.

Sorry if it seems harsh, but I would feel absolutely terrible if someone came to an event I hosted and couldn't eat anything I had available.

I had a couple of vegan friends in college who attended a lot of events where there was nothing available that fit their diet. You know what they did? Whatever it was that they came there to do. It's usually not eating. And they brought food with them for long trips, school etc. They were even PETA activists but I never once saw them belittling anyone for their choices or the food they prepared. I haven't met a vegan like them since lol

ETA: I haven't met a vegan like them WHO SAID THEY WERE since them.

tabicatinthehat

So you have a conversation with someone who is concerned about offending you. Sounds really awful.

Call me Captain Obvious here, but the annoying (hardly "awful" ) part is the implication that one's personal choice is an aberration, and having to defend it.

And still. So what? If you find it so annoying to talk about your choices, you shouldn't bring them up or you should go ahead and let people know with a "and I don't want to talk about it" clause. They'll probably take the hint that you're not down for a conversation then. Or ever.

ythannah

And still. So what? If you find it so annoying to talk about your choices, you shouldn't bring them up or you should go ahead and let people know with a "and I don't want to talk about it" clause. They'll probably take the hint that you're not down for a conversation then. Or ever.

I'm never the one bringing it up, the topic is always raised by someone observing either the selections I've put on my plate or what I order in a restaurant. Or someone urging me to try a particular meat dish -- a simple "no thank you" just doesn't seem to cut it.

Trust me, I wouldn't voluntarily set myself up for the inevitable. I'm a fairly shy, quiet sort of person and I prefer to be inconspicuous.

llUndecidedll

I didn't know this was a type.

I currently eat like this [eggs are vegetarian friendly]. I wasn't thinking along the lines of vegetarianism, but that I just wanted to cut back my consumption of animal flesh. This led to me deciding to eat animal flesh every other day. I like the name, though. Flexitarian. Neat.

I've never really been in that situation before, though.

Deipneus

nFor about 6 months, I've been eating primarily vegetarian, but haven't entirely given up meat, and don't intend to. I eat meat maybe 2-3 meals a week or so, usually on the weekends, usually at restaurants or take-out.

This is interesting to me. I eat meat maybe once every six weeks or so and don't give it a thought.

ValGogo

I prefer to dine at the Y

Finally, an answer.

dbmata

I prefer to dine at the Y

Finally, an answer.

and totes omni.

dbmata

I didn't know this was a type.

I currently eat like this [eggs are vegetarian friendly]. I wasn't thinking along the lines of vegetarianism, but that I just wanted to cut back my consumption of animal flesh. This led to me deciding to eat animal flesh every other day. I like the name, though. Flexitarian. Neat.

I've never really been in that situation before, though.

It's not a type. It's just being an omnivore, albeit an omnivore who craves a trendy attention getting label.

threnjen

It's not a type. It's just being an omnivore, albeit an omnivore who craves a trendy attention getting label.

Yes, this. Really, it is nothing special to not eat meat EVERY day....
I have to eat meat quite a lot nowadays because I eat a lot more protein, but months ago I ate it very infrequently because I'm just not a big meat person. However never in my life did I consider myself to have any fancy special eating label just because I didn't always pick the meat dish.

I think the OP invented this term, I don't think it's a "thing"
Edit: my bad, wikipedia tells me it is a thing. It is apparently in the dictionary and everything.

neandermagnon

It's not a type. It's just being an omnivore, albeit an omnivore who craves a trendy attention getting label.

yep

just eat what you want to eat and don't feel you have to justify your food choices to anyone.

the labels are getting silly anyway

Apparently I'm a stultatarian. That means I only eat stupid animals. So no apes, dolphins or elephants for me. And definitely no humans.

Wantingtolose1

I order vegetarian meals quite regularly when we go out and no one has ever asked me if im vegetarian maybe because they know me and know that I do also eat meat.

You could say that you are just trying to eat a plant based diet 80% of the time to try and be healthier. That way people wont ask you things like why do you occasionally eat meat if your vegetarian and things like that. I think you are overthinking this which I understand but im sure if you give these people a simple answer they will be fine. Don't say you are vegetarian or flexitarian if you don't want them asking a lot of question as I think that would just get them asking more questions.

jamielynnmobile

People without dietary restrictions, voluntary or otherwise, really have no idea how much comment is provoked by not eating meat in a group setting.

I am mainly pescetarian, although I cook almost entirely vegetarian for myself at home. But I'm not so meat-avoidant that I'll pick miniscule pieces of ham out of pea soup or tiny bits of chicken out of chicken fried rice. Somehow I always end up being labelled as "vegetarian", which seems to be the conceptual catch-all for anyone who doesn't eat everything. This mainly arises prior to planned gatherings where someone will be sure to say "Oh, I've never cooked for a vegetarian before" or something along those lines -- even though I always insist that the usual meal should be served and I will be perfectly happy just eating the side dishes (normally plentiful and varied at a large meal).

I feel your pain. I try to fly under the radar as much as possible but people do like to question and draw attention to anything out of the norm.

EXACTLY! I never insist that special food be made for me, nor do I show up with 'my own' food to a dinner party (which a lot of articles suggest, but I find that to be rude)--I am perfectly happy to eat the sides provided, not to mention that having fewer options helps me keep my calorie intake down at such events! I don't pick bacon bits out of the twice-baked potato skins at a restuarant, and more often than not, if I am offered a meat-centric dish as my only option, I will just say that I am not hungry to avoid the awkward exchange that comes from a flat-out refusal.When trying to pick a restuarant with friends, everyone looks at me and says "Where can you eat?" Uh, I can eat anywhere! I usually order fish when I'm out to eat! I am not trying to inconvenience anyone around me. But still, SOMEHOW, they respond as though my choices are a value judgement against them and that I am an outlier, a special case that needs to be treated with kid gloves and then whispered about later on. I feel like people who have food allergies or medical conditions never get a second glance about their diets, but the moment you mention that you don't really eat meat for other reasons, you are a pariah.

ILiftHeavyAcrylics

People without dietary restrictions, voluntary or otherwise, really have no idea how much comment is provoked by not eating meat in a group setting.

I am mainly pescetarian, although I cook almost entirely vegetarian for myself at home. But I'm not so meat-avoidant that I'll pick miniscule pieces of ham out of pea soup or tiny bits of chicken out of chicken fried rice. Somehow I always end up being labelled as "vegetarian", which seems to be the conceptual catch-all for anyone who doesn't eat everything. This mainly arises prior to planned gatherings where someone will be sure to say "Oh, I've never cooked for a vegetarian before" or something along those lines -- even though I always insist that the usual meal should be served and I will be perfectly happy just eating the side dishes (normally plentiful and varied at a large meal).

I feel your pain. I try to fly under the radar as much as possible but people do like to question and draw attention to anything out of the norm.

EXACTLY! I never insist that special food be made for me, nor do I show up with 'my own' food to a dinner party (which a lot of articles suggest, but I find that to be rude)--I am perfectly happy to eat the sides provided, not to mention that having fewer options helps me keep my calorie intake down at such events! I don't pick bacon bits out of the twice-baked potato skins at a restuarant, and more often than not, if I am offered a meat-centric dish as my only option, I will just say that I am not hungry to avoid the awkward exchange that comes from a flat-out refusal.When trying to pick a restuarant with friends, everyone looks at me and says "Where can you eat?" Uh, I can eat anywhere! I usually order fish when I'm out to eat! I am not trying to inconvenience anyone around me. But still, SOMEHOW, they respond as though my choices are a value judgement against them and that I am an outlier, a special case that needs to be treated with kid gloves and then whispered about later on. I feel like people who have food allergies or medical conditions never get a second glance about their diets, but the moment you mention that you don't really eat meat for other reasons, you are a pariah.

Well, "where can you eat" seems like a reasonable and considerate question to me. As for the rest, it's just bizarre to me that this has been the experience of a lot of people in this thread. Before I started eating a lot of meat for the protein I almost never ate it (because I don't like it) and it never even came up. I can't remember a single time that anyone made a big deal (or any deal) of me passing on a meat dish.

Maybe the people in my life are just really considerate? Or really apathetic? Or maybe I'm just oblivious-- that seems fairly likely.

rml_16

Seeing as you think that regular ol' omnivores eat vegetarian dishes, you probably wouldn't ask. Where I live, only vegetarians eat the vegetarian dishes. Sad, but true. But at least those who have asked haven't been rude enough to then roll their eyes at me. ;-)

People where you live who aren't vegetarians NEVER eat anything that doesn't have meat in it?

I don't believe that.

JoRocka

Seeing as you think that regular ol' omnivores eat vegetarian dishes, you probably wouldn't ask. Where I live, only vegetarians eat the vegetarian dishes. Sad, but true. But at least those who have asked haven't been rude enough to then roll their eyes at me. ;-)

People where you live who aren't vegetarians NEVER eat anything that doesn't have meat in it?

I don't believe that.

what I am finding interesting is that we have two things here.... specific vegetarian dishes... and then none meat dishes.

So if you order a none meat dish- it's okay- but if you specifically order a vegetarian dish- that's when you might get labelled.

I'm trying to wrap my head around what's the difference and why people are making a thing of it.

1stplace4health

sometimes

rml_16

Seeing as you think that regular ol' omnivores eat vegetarian dishes, you probably wouldn't ask. Where I live, only vegetarians eat the vegetarian dishes. Sad, but true. But at least those who have asked haven't been rude enough to then roll their eyes at me. ;-)

People where you live who aren't vegetarians NEVER eat anything that doesn't have meat in it?

I don't believe that.

what I am finding interesting is that we have two things here.... specific vegetarian dishes... and then none meat dishes.

So if you order a none meat dish- it's okay- but if you specifically order a vegetarian dish- that's when you might get labelled.

I'm trying to wrap my head around what's the difference and why people are making a thing of it.

Well, I'm a vegetarian (an actual one who does not ever eat meat -- not sure why people think they're vegetarians when they eat meat???) and I don't know the difference.

I guess at a wedding or something where you're choosing between chicken, fish or the vegetarian option? Or on a trans-Atlantic flight that serves food and that's an option?

In a restaurant, I just order something without meat. We went to a steakhouse Tuesday night and I had potato soup and cheese sticks. At parties, it's usually buffet-style and I simply choose foods that don't have meat in them. No one cares. People seem overly concerned with accommodating vegetarians. I have yet to go somewhere that didn't have something I could eat because most sides and finger foods don't have meat in them. I make due.

And if there isn't anything for me, I'm not there to eat, anyway. I'm there for the company or the event or whatever. I'm not going to die of starvation if I have to skip a meal or eat later.

JoRocka

...[....snip]
I simply choose foods that don't have meat in them. No one cares. People seem overly concerned with accommodating vegetarians. I have yet to go somewhere that didn't have something I could eat because most sides and finger foods don't have meat in them. I make due.

And if there isn't anything for me, I'm not there to eat, anyway. I'm there for the company or the event or whatever. I'm not going to die of starvation if I have to skip a meal or eat later.

kind of what I was thinking really- or perhaps you and I are just missing something LOL

I mean I obviously eat meat- and even I can make my way around a table with plenty of none meat items- because there is usually plenty of said "other" things. I just don't understand the big to do (because if I walk away from a luncheon party- usually I have whatever plain meat I can find- and I raid the veggie tray like it's my job- mostly b/c I don't eat pastas/breads- so- even with veggies I make out pretty well- and then if I took off the meat and add in pasta type dishes- I would be fully fine with no meat products. )

people I think like to make things harder than they are- and they like to worry.

dedflwrs

I think your last paragraph says it all: Why should you defend the way you eat?

As a vegetarian myself I don't feel like I have tell people what I eat or don't. Even when I'm invited to dinner somewhere I don't tell people I'm one unless they specifically ask me if I have any dietary restrictions. If they don't I will bring a dish I can eat to share with all. Most people make a salad and I can partake of something my host makes.

I don't think that being a vegetarian is work. It comes natural to me and I don't judge others for eating meat. Being a vegetarian or vegan doesn't make anyone morally superior. You have to do what works for your body and your health and it seems to be different for different people.

susanyounkin

Seeing as you think that regular ol' omnivores eat vegetarian dishes, you probably wouldn't ask. Where I live, only vegetarians eat the vegetarian dishes. Sad, but true. But at least those who have asked haven't been rude enough to then roll their eyes at me. ;-)

People where you live who aren't vegetarians NEVER eat anything that doesn't have meat in it?

I don't believe that.

Believe it or not, but around here even the freakin green beans are made with ham. The baked beans are topped with bacon slices. So going to Christmas dinner is a pain in the rear. The salads offered usually have some kind of meat in them too, whether it's shredded chicken or crumbled bacon. I always bring a fully veggie salad and only my immediate family eats it. I can eat the mashed potatoes, the white rolls, and the buttered corn. Sigh. So yeah, when your plate looks like what you brought yourself and a tiny scoop of mashed potatoes and buttered corn. It brings out questions.
I didn't say they never eat anything that doesn't have meat in it. I said they don't eat the vegetarian dishes. So if we go out to a restaurant and I order the salad (that doesn't have steak or chicken or salmon) then it comes along with a happy helping of questions. Anything from "where do you get your protein" (even if it has beans or chickpeas or even cheese) to "how can you eat that rabbit food?"

susanyounkin

Seeing as you think that regular ol' omnivores eat vegetarian dishes, you probably wouldn't ask. Where I live, only vegetarians eat the vegetarian dishes. Sad, but true. But at least those who have asked haven't been rude enough to then roll their eyes at me. ;-)

People where you live who aren't vegetarians NEVER eat anything that doesn't have meat in it?

I don't believe that.

what I am finding interesting is that we have two things here.... specific vegetarian dishes... and then none meat dishes.

So if you order a none meat dish- it's okay- but if you specifically order a vegetarian dish- that's when you might get labelled.

I'm trying to wrap my head around what's the difference and why people are making a thing of it.

The difference as I see it is whether or not it is an entree. I am using the term vegetarian dish to mean a main entree that is non-meat.

ythannah

I guess at a wedding or something where you're choosing between chicken, fish or the vegetarian option? Or on a trans-Atlantic flight that serves food and that's an option?

Has no one here attended one of those all-day corporate training events where a buffet lunch is served and one of the wait staff enters the room and bellows, "Who's getting the vegetarian/gluten-free plate?" Granted, it's the most expeditious way of identifying which guests get the Special Meal, but does draw attention to the outliers.

2013Rickenbacker

I was recently at a BBQ and ate one of the Veggie Burgers, and the questions I got were endless. I was ony eating it because I liked it so that's what I told people, but they just looked perplexed. Eventually I started telling them I wasn't deep enough to be a vegatarian and they seemed pretty satisfied with that answer. I don't know what that says about me, and I really don't care. Anyone for a veggie/beef burger?

rml_16

I guess at a wedding or something where you're choosing between chicken, fish or the vegetarian option? Or on a trans-Atlantic flight that serves food and that's an option?

Has no one here attended one of those all-day corporate training events where a buffet lunch is served and one of the wait staff enters the room and bellows, "Who's getting the vegetarian/gluten-free plate?" Granted, it's the most expeditious way of identifying which guests get the Special Meal, but does draw attention to the outliers.

If there's a buffet, I wouldn't request a special dish for being a vegetarian because there would be plenty of non-veg options.

And, no, I have never seem wait staff do anything like that in any situation. That should be worked out beforehand.

kbeloved

if i were in your situation i would probably feel as such: anyone who would get offended by the food i eat is not someone i care enough about to explain my dietary habits.

and leave it at that.

anomar6

I eat what I want when I feel like it and don't feel a need to explain it to anyone.

Now please pass the rabbit tongue and the fried ant larvae.