Goodbye Pepperidge Farm

desweds

Goodbye Pepperidge Farm Double Nantucket Dark Chocolate Crispy cookies. Oh baby, you know you're tasty - and we've sure had fun over the years - but I've moved past you. Don't get me wrong - this morning was fun, especially with that sexy Creamy Jif making our threesome - but after it was done you just laid there, just all heavy and oily and overly sugary, and you left me feeling stuffed but unfulfilled.

Look. I was weak. I was driven by memory, not where I am now. I just hadn't seen you for a while and I thought we could maybe get back together in a moderate, adult way. I thought we could sit on the sofa and just have a little pecking. But no. Like always we went all the way. I was wrong - you and I were always a toxic mix. I guess I needed our quick toss in the kitchen this morning for me to truly - pardon the pun - digest that.

Sorry. That was cruel. Please don't get upset. You know there are zillions of folks out there who crave you. You'll find another, but just not me. So yeah, you really need to go - I'm going for a run and I don't want you here when I get back. Do you mind sharing a cab with Jif? Thanks. All the best.

noor_v

:laugh: :drinker: :drinker: :drinker:

ythannah

LMAO! That was hilarious... well done!

MysteriousMerlin

You've earned 27 awesome points.

danelutza19

Lovely sense of humor!
But what I great idea to invent something so funny and part ways with junk food. Maybe we should all write letters

AShannon54

Haha! Love your post. Great laugh and honestly I have had to ‘break it off’ with several food items. Just tell Pepperidge Farm Cookie ‘It’s not you, it’s me’. lol :flowerforyou:

cuckoo_jenibeth

You just provided me with a much needed smile! Thank you!

Lena1967

This was great. I hope you find a special someone who is more appropriate very soon!

trinatrina1984

:laugh:

Warren_Abrey

Well done

dafraz3

That was magnificent. I am inspired.

...I think I'd better go have a talk with Ben and Jerry.

ninerbuff

Whew!!!! I thought the company was closing down.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

seltzermint555

Nice!! LOL

Honestly, I usually hate posts like that, all clever puns and trickery...but you, sir, did it WELL!

SelfHelpJunky

Whew!!!! I thought the company was closing down.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Yeah, me too, I was fearing the end of Milano cookies and Goldfish crackers as we know it!

OP, I hope you at least paid for the cab! :-)

AHealthyMe1lbAtATime

LOVE this!!! :laugh:

Mexicanbigfoot

:laugh:

thanks for the laugh today.

berto23

Goodbye Pepperidge Farm Double Nantucket Dark Chocolate Crispy cookies. Oh baby, you know you're tasty - and we've sure had fun over the years - but I've moved past you. Don't get me wrong - this morning was fun, especially with that sexy Creamy Jif making our threesome - but after it was done you just laid there, just all heavy and oily and overly sugary, and you left me feeling stuffed but unfulfilled.

Look. I was weak. I was driven by memory, not where I am now. I just hadn't seen you for a while and I thought we could maybe get back together in a moderate, adult way. I thought we could sit on the sofa and just have a little pecking. But no. Like always we went all the way. I was wrong - you and I were always a toxic mix. I guess I needed our quick toss in the kitchen this morning for me to truly - pardon the pun - digest that.

Sorry. That was cruel. Please don't get upset. You know there are zillions of folks out there who crave you. You'll find another, but just not me. So yeah, you really need to go - I'm going for a run and I don't want you here when I get back. Do you mind sharing a cab with Jif? Thanks. All the best.

you owe me a new key board I just spit water all over it!!! LOL well done....

sbrookes9

I love your post!:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

MizTerry

jennifer_417

I really hate when I go to indulge in what used to be one of my favorite things, only to find out I don't like nearly as much anymore.

Hornsby

If those cookies need a rebound....send em my way!

Strongandscrappy

Love it!

Zombie296

So awesome.

SpencersHeart

Great post. :laugh:

fit4eva86

HA HA LOVE IT!!!

DanielJNoah

Okay now this just brought an actual grin to my face. Excellent post and an extremely well written "Dear John" letter!

Keep up the excellent work! It is things like this that bring some humor and make the journey towards weight loss fun!

chadya07

goldfish crackers make these flavored graham goldfish now, and a serving is like a million cookies and they come in chocolate. they are great because you get to take a million bites at like 140 calories or something...

i never buy regular cookies anymore because one serving is only like three bites and then it is like a teaser...

(fyi, a million is hyperbole... i forget the number but its a pile)

LynndaMaree

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :drinker:

Joanjett88

Awesome, lol.

sloth3toes

At 140 calories each, couldn't you have just seen less of her / them / whatever?

I'm just surprised that on page 2, no one has suggested 'moderation,' yet.