Others sabotaging efforts to lose weight...

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  • CheeriOkie
    CheeriOkie Posts: 6
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    Very true! Thank you!
  • apparations
    apparations Posts: 264 Member
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    Keep a baggie of Broccoli florets in your purse and every time he does that, bust it out, shove a piece or broccoli in his face and say "Are you suuuuure you don't want some?!? It's reeeeally goood!!!"
  • sistrsprkl
    sistrsprkl Posts: 1,013 Member
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    Sabotage can only happen if you let it happen....

    One donut isn't going to make you fat anyway, so what harm is there in saying yes - just factor it into your day, or the rest of the week, by cutting back on something else.

    The other option is find a new husband, because the one you have is seriously defective - if my husband shoved food in my face (whether I wanted it or not) I would break his nose.... That is domestic abuse....!!

    xXx

    QFT
  • cindyt472
    cindyt472 Posts: 41 Member
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    my husband does the exact same thing
  • Derpes
    Derpes Posts: 2,033 Member
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    If you can learn moderation while the tempations are right in your face, you will be set.

    Easier said than done of course.
  • theCaityCat
    theCaityCat Posts: 84 Member
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    I haven't encountered sabotages, but I also didn't announce to anyone that I was trying to lose weight. The only time I mentioned it was a few weeks ago when, during a conversation about such things, I said "Speaking of which, I've lost 17 pounds! This whole eating healthy thing really is a nice thing, isn't it?"

    If he's going to keep donuts around, keep lots of healthy and tasty snacks around for you to enjoy. A donut every so often isn't a terrible thing as long as you practice moderation.
  • thiswillhappen
    thiswillhappen Posts: 634 Member
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    I also think that sometimes, a partner becomes scared or threatened by the prospect of you changing and becoming more slim, fit, healthy, confident and attractive. Trying to tempt you is a way to keep you in his safe zone. First of all, you could tell him not to be threatened, and that reaching your weight loss goals will make you a better spouse! Secondly, do your own thing, even if it means eating meals separately for a while, or not going to drive through with him until your healthy habits are more set. Good luck!
  • RaspberryKeytoneBoondoggle
    RaspberryKeytoneBoondoggle Posts: 1,349 Member
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    This happens to me all the time! Just tonight, he was eating salt and vinegar potato chips! Right in front of me! I had to have a handful with my dinner.

    It seems to work though because I continue to maintain. Actually, I was able to lose weight and not break up with him also. It must have something to do with taking personal responsibility for what I put in my mouth, and having some respect for him.
  • donald149
    donald149 Posts: 211 Member
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    When you get mad enough to really want this, you won't care what other think. :)
  • lee134
    lee134 Posts: 280 Member
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    Just try to ignore him.
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
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    The people around us aren't obligated to change their ways just because we are. Having said that, I find it mildly disturbing that he is literally pushing food against your lips. I wouldn't call it abusive unless he's literally forcing the food into your mouth, but there are obviously some issues at play.
  • Superpook
    Superpook Posts: 20 Member
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    This thread makes me so sad. So many people talking about how the people in their lives aren't supportive, or worse...even trying to make changing more difficult!
    It's very common for people to resist change in those they love. And they don't even consciously try to sabotage things, they just act according to what feels familiar to them.
    That said, it's not acceptable. I would see that as my husband condescending to my efforts to improve my health and sense of well being. I'm also pretty sure that if he put a donut to my mouth, knowing I'm trying to lose weight, I'd probably lose it on him.
    It IS abusive. When people act against your best interest and benefit, it's abusive. Emotional abuse.
    I've never announced to my husband that I was going on a diet, because I don't really diet. I just decline to eat certain things when they're offered, and I don't buy anything I'm too tempted to eat.
    You've already made the announcement though. I think it's worth sitting down with him and saying that you're serious about losing weight and you expect him to be serious about supporting you. If he still doesn't take you seriously then you might consider couples counseling. (I'm a counselor) In counseling you can talk about boundaries, anxiety, etc...
    Whatever happens...good luck getting fitter and good luck with your husband.
  • kkimpel
    kkimpel Posts: 303 Member
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    he's a meany butt .. You need a good long discussion. It is not healthy to purposely sabotage a loved one's efforts to be healthy. My sweetie often asks, "Is it ok if I eat this in front of you." Sometimes he asks me if I'd like a sip (of wine) I say yes or now however I feel at the moment.. He accepts what I say.. and life goes on

    And of course it is.. his food choices don't affect my food choices. When I stopped blaming others and taking responsibility for everyone else's life and their choices.. I got healthier

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