Is excess skin removal surgery selfish?
rachelaughe
Posts: 21 Member
I lost 100 pounds and have been maintaining my weight loss for 3 years. Unfortunately, due to all the excess skin I have, I still feel fat. I know I will never be able to move on and be happy with my body until I have surgery to remove the skin. I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon, who confirmed what I was never sure about, that it really is just skin and not fat. This initially made me feel better, knowing the "fat" that I see in the mirror isn't really fat, and it isn't my fault. There is really no amount of dieting or exercise I can do to get rid of it. This was freeing for about a day and a half, then it skin started bothering me even more. I know I will never be happy until it is gone. I want to have the surgery, but it is so much money. Just to get my arms done, which is the area that bothers me the most, is $10,000. I want to take out a loan to pay for it, but I wonder, is that selfish? It is a lot of money, and I feel guilty spending that much money on myself. I also worry, as with any surgery there is always a risk, what would happen to my family if something bad happened to me during surgery. Is my happiness worth all that money and risk? I don't feel like I can live the life I am supposed to live in my body the way it is, but is it worth it?
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Replies
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You did a fantastic job losing and then maintaining the weight.
Have a talk with your family.
They might be prepared to support you in your goal to have the excess skin removed.0 -
When it's time for plastics, I'm getting mine done outside of the USA at a fraction of the cost and it won't be the first time I've traveled outside of the country for surgery..... but anyway, that's a different topic.
The question is: Is it selfish? If your family will starve so that mommy can have nice arms, then yes, it's selfish. Otherwise, it's no different then spending money on designer handbags or buying a car that is anything more than a sh!tbox that can get you from point A to point B.0 -
No, I don't think it's the least bit selfish to want happiness. If surgery is what you need to be able to live and love yourself, then I would say it's worth the risk. In your position, I think I'd feel the same way.0
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We don't bat an eye when our kids need braces, but we feel guilty spending money on ourselves. As long as your other household expenses are covered its NOT selfish at all. You deserve it. You could also finance it and pay on it monthly. I'm currently making sure that my credit score improves so that 1-2 years from now I can finance a tummy tuck if needed.0
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$10,000 to be much happier with your body for the rest of your life? Go for it.0
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Thanks for all the responses. I actually don't have children of my own. When I talk about my family, I am referring to my nieces, who I have a very close relationship to, and my mother and Grandmother, for whom I am a caregiver. When I speak of being selfish, I think I mean more in a "there are children starving in Africa" kinda way. I will have to take out a personal loan or put it on a credit card. I do think I am going to go through with it, just trying to stop feeling guilty.0
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Absolutely do it! Do a long term loan....
PS: shop around, as that seems high just for doing the arms.0 -
I lost 300 lbs. and was left with aprons of skin the worst being around my torso and it was making everyday life a struggle with clothes fitting and exercising and skin infections... I lost all that weight and felt like I was still entombed in my same prison so I decided I was worth it and went and had 17 pounds of skin removed. We took out a loan and are making payments on it until it is paid off. It was hands down the best decision I ever made... Am I completely rid of excess skin? No still deal with it in my inner thighs and upper arms but I am content now with where I am and choose the plastic surgery that made the most sense.... Best of Luck...0
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But it IS different;it's her body, and she'll live with that body for the rest of her life. It's not some object that she'll carry around for a few years.When it's time for plastics, I'm getting mine done outside of the USA at a fraction of the cost and it won't be the first time I've traveled outside of the country for surgery..... but anyway, that's a different topic.
The question is: Is it selfish? If your family will starve so that mommy can have nice arms, then yes, it's selfish. Otherwise, it's no different then spending money on designer handbags or buying a car that is anything more than a sh!tbox that can get you from point A to point B.0 -
Id do it! And completely plan on it when I lose this weight! My hubby and I live paycheck to paycheck, but I would not second guess taking out a loan to do it.0
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I have excess skin from losing weight quickly. In my case it's not how much I lost, so much as how quickly I lost it.
If I could afford surgery to remove it, I think I'd opt for it. If I could.
I don't think it's selfish. I guess, in some ways, it might be considered cosmetic surgery. But if it would make you happier, I don't see the problem.
Yeah, there are starving children in Africa. But you could apply that guilt to almost anything you buy that you don't technically need.
ETA: The other alternative (and cheaper lol, but either is for you to decide) is to just learn to love it, too, as you learn to love your new body as a whole. I'm working on that. I've made progress, but I do admit that it's hard. Especially when a lot of people spread that fitspo BS... what was it? Something about what one looks like naked. Aye.0 -
Some burn centers offer skin removal for free if you donate it. You could actually be helping a lot of other people...nothing selfish about that.0
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i think yes too, i have a long way to go but would consider it if i need it, and the way my tummy hangs i suspect it will be the case. Also a boob lift wouldnt be off the card if needed too.0
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If it is causing issues (like ongoing skin infections) check with your health insurance to see about coverage for the procedure. I knew of a lady who had recurring issues involving frequent doctor visits and was able to get it covered.0
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I don't think it is selfish, but if you have not, I would try lifting heavy weights first, 100 lbs. is not that much to have that much skin, you might be surprised what more muscle will do.0
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Selfish? Sheesh no! It's probably going to be a medical necessity, especially as you age!0
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Is it?
self·ish
ˈselfiSH/Submit
adjective
(of a person, action, or motive) lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one's own personal profit or pleasure.
I don't know. Should you do it? I don't know. But I'd definitely talk to your family if your loan will impact them....
I'd probably do it if I had a lot of excess skin. I'd talk to hubs. He'd support it.0 -
I don't know. I have loose skin and would love to get it done, but can't justify that amount of money because I guess it could be way worse... yeah I'm never wearing a bikini and I have a 'third boob' when I bend over, but in clothes it's not more noticeable than the pouch a lot of women still have after having kids. If I had more, it would be different.0
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I lost 100 pounds and have been maintaining my weight loss for 3 years. Unfortunately, due to all the excess skin I have, I still feel fat. I know I will never be able to move on and be happy with my body until I have surgery to remove the skin. I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon, who confirmed what I was never sure about, that it really is just skin and not fat. This initially made me feel better, knowing the "fat" that I see in the mirror isn't really fat, and it isn't my fault. There is really no amount of dieting or exercise I can do to get rid of it. This was freeing for about a day and a half, then it skin started bothering me even more. I know I will never be happy until it is gone. I want to have the surgery, but it is so much money. Just to get my arms done, which is the area that bothers me the most, is $10,000. I want to take out a loan to pay for it, but I wonder, is that selfish? It is a lot of money, and I feel guilty spending that much money on myself. I also worry, as with any surgery there is always a risk, what would happen to my family if something bad happened to me during surgery. Is my happiness worth all that money and risk? I don't feel like I can live the life I am supposed to live in my body the way it is, but is it worth it?
Selfish? Depends on your financial situation. I have a friend who has decided she isn't having any more children, so she sold her eggs to pay for her 'new boobs' and now she's doing it again to pay for her 'tummy tuck.' Fortunately for her, she was NEVER fat. She just carried big babies, which led to her losing her boobs and the post baby pooch. Her husband will not pay for it to get done, so this was her chosen option. Her reasoning is, that she helps another couple out@eggs, whilst gaining her 'real' self back.0 -
It can be selfish, but it's not automatically so.
I know very few people have $10k just laying around and you mentioned a loan. What are the terms of the loan? Can you afford to pay it back on time, without sacrificing necessary things in your life? If you have to do major cuts in your life like having your electricity or your rent or car or something like that, it's probably not the best time to do something like that.
If you can reasonably afford it and it will make you happy, go for it.0 -
No. Do your thing. I know someone who had a little baby and wanted to go to Columbia to get an unsafe procedure for butt implants. I thought that was selfish.0
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Absolutely not selfish. Many of us who struggle with weight have focused for so long on taking care of others that we don't have a clue how to take care of ourselves. By taking better care of ourselves we can take better care of others--simply feeling positive about ourselves is one way of taking care of others.
Studies also show that people who have the skin removed maintain their health and their weight more successfully.0 -
I don't believe it's selfish to want it at all. While I haven't lost as much weight I've never been happy with my breasts ( a little uneven in my opinion though my husband has never noticed/nor mentioned it). If I could afford a cosmetic surgery to just make them more even ? I'm not sure I'd have one due to having two children who will hopefully go on to college. One 16yr. old and one 3yr. old.
What about saving up for at least half before borrowing the whole amount? At least then you know your payments would be more reasonable.
******Also donating to burn victims would be so awesome! I would urge you to check into that. Knowing you would be helping others maybe even a child.*****0 -
No it isn't selfish.....
as for starving children in the developing world....even if you take out the loan and send it to those kids it isn't going to fix the problem. You can (and should) do what you can do (and as another person who cares for parents I am going to say you are already doing a lot more than most people realize or appreciate) but that shouldn't stop you from doing stuff for yourself.
You need to look at your own financial situation and don't ask your family unless you get your income from them.0 -
Can you afford it without financial strain on your family? Will you or your children be forced to eat ramen noodles and pinto beans for the next 10 years to pay for it?
If the answer to this are no, then it is not selfish.
If the answer is yes, then yes it would be selfish.
If its something that you want, make it a goal.0 -
I like the skin donation idea! Didn't even know that was possible.0
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As long as your family budget can support any sort of financing, it's not selfish at all. It's tough on the head doing all this hard work not to be happy with the result. I had a tummy tuck in June. My husband says it's the best money we ever spent, just to know that every time I look In the mirror I'm not scowling at myself.0
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Seems like this is a conversation to have with your family.0
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When it's time for plastics, I'm getting mine done outside of the USA at a fraction of the cost and it won't be the first time I've traveled outside of the country for surgery..... but anyway, that's a different topic.
I would be VERY, VERY cautious of where you go to get surgery done outside of the U.S., especially plastic surgery. Remember, you get what you pay for.
ETA: OP, if you can afford it without your family suffering (i.e. no food, no clothes, and the possibility of losing a roof over their head), why not?!0 -
Yes, it's selfish, but so what? YOU DESERVE IT!
Your accomplishment came about, because you cared enough about your health to make the changes and perform the work. 100 pounds lost is huge, and it's an even larger acomplishment to have maintained your weight for 3 years.
If this procedure is important to you, go for it! I know I sure as heck would.
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