Is excess skin removal surgery selfish?
Replies
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There is NOTHING with taking care of yourself! I am getting skin removal on my arms next year. I mean, unless the $ is coming out of your kid's mouths- what is the problem?0
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I don't know. I have loose skin and would love to get it done, but can't justify that amount of money because I guess it could be way worse... yeah I'm never wearing a bikini and I have a 'third boob' when I bend over, but in clothes it's not more noticeable than the pouch a lot of women still have after having kids. If I had more, it would be different.
Third boob?! Now that deserves pics! (j/k...you're too cute!)0 -
After a very brief internet search, it looks to me like burn centers do not pay for the surgery or accept skin after skin removal surgery because of the expense, small amount of tissue, and obstacles with quarantining the skin, etc. They use cadaver tissue. Unfortunately, this seems to be a recurring myth.0
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No it's not selfish. the chances of dying in this surgery are very low. you aren't taking food from anyone's mouth by normalizing your body.0
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When it's time for plastics, I'm getting mine done outside of the USA at a fraction of the cost and it won't be the first time I've traveled outside of the country for surgery..... but anyway, that's a different topic.
I would be VERY, VERY cautious of where you go to get surgery done outside of the U.S., especially plastic surgery. Remember, you get what you pay for.
Oh yeah, because plastic surgery has only just reached the rest of the world, right now we're just cutting people open on the kitchen table and sticking them back together with duct tape.
Ignorant.0 -
When it's time for plastics, I'm getting mine done outside of the USA at a fraction of the cost and it won't be the first time I've traveled outside of the country for surgery..... but anyway, that's a different topic.
I would be VERY, VERY cautious of where you go to get surgery done outside of the U.S., especially plastic surgery. Remember, you get what you pay for.
ETA: OP, if you can afford it without your family suffering (i.e. no food, no clothes, and the possibility of losing a roof over their head), why not?!
One should be VERY,VERY cautious of where you go to get surgery WITHIN the US as well. You do get what you pay for.. BUT when you go out of the country for surgery, your money goes further and you afford the BEST. When I had my last surgery it would have cost 20K in the USA and I got it for 4,500 in Mexico.... The doctor in Mexico was WAY more qualified than the US surgeon in my area who quoted me the 20K. there are cases of people going to other countries for surgery and realizing that the doctors are not really doctors operating out of back alley clinics.. That happens in the USA too... but if you go with a board certified reputable COSMETIC surgeon then there is no reason to be overly concerned with receiving care outside of the US.0 -
I lost 100 pounds and have been maintaining my weight loss for 3 years. Unfortunately, due to all the excess skin I have, I still feel fat. I know I will never be able to move on and be happy with my body until I have surgery to remove the skin. I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon, who confirmed what I was never sure about, that it really is just skin and not fat. This initially made me feel better, knowing the "fat" that I see in the mirror isn't really fat, and it isn't my fault. There is really no amount of dieting or exercise I can do to get rid of it. This was freeing for about a day and a half, then it skin started bothering me even more. I know I will never be happy until it is gone. I want to have the surgery, but it is so much money. Just to get my arms done, which is the area that bothers me the most, is $10,000. I want to take out a loan to pay for it, but I wonder, is that selfish? It is a lot of money, and I feel guilty spending that much money on myself. I also worry, as with any surgery there is always a risk, what would happen to my family if something bad happened to me during surgery. Is my happiness worth all that money and risk? I don't feel like I can live the life I am supposed to live in my body the way it is, but is it worth it?
if you can afford the loan, i dont think its selfish.0 -
I don't think it is selfish at all. When you started your journey, I'm sure you had an idea in your mind what you would look like when you reached your goal. You worked hard to get there you deserve to to look the way you want. I know when I reach my goal I plan to have it.
You should also check with your doctors, if excess skin shows to be a possible health risk, you might be able to get your health insurance to cover most of the costs.0 -
You are young, with a lot of life ahead of you.
If you can afford it without putting a strain on your family budget, do what makes you happy.
It is not selfish to want to look your best.
Any surgery has risks though, so get the best information you can to help make your decision.0 -
For one thing... it is NOT selfish at all; you deserve it after all your hard work. First question - Is the excess skin causing any issues? If so, maybe your insurance will cover a lot of the costs. I know they will not pay for "vanity" type stuff, but if you (and your Dr.) can see some sort of issue it is causing... maybe???0
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If the financial well being of your family would suffer from it, then yes it's selfish. If you sit them down and converse about it and lay out your options planning for it, then no.
ETA: Congrats on the weight loss, though! That's a feet to be proud of!0 -
See if the plastic surgeon offers financing...most do offer some kind of payment plan/financing option through a bank like Capital One.
If you really want to do this, this is the time. Because once you do have a family of your own, responsibilities take over and you won't be able to.
Don't feel bad or guilty at all! I recently had $6k worth of cosmetic dental work done - and I do have a kid!
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Most of these responses are so strange.... of COURSE this would be selfish. It's the very definition of selfish, but that's the wrong question to ask. Doing something for yourself that does not benefit anyone else isn't an inherently evil act.
The right questions to ask are:
1. Is cosmetic skin removal the right thing for me?
That's entirely up to you to answer.
2. Is it worth it to take out a loan to have the procedure done?
Please consider this carefully. I (and any responsible financial advisor) would tell you that if you have to take out a loan for something like this, that means you really can't afford it. There are probably other things you should consider doing with your money (sorry). This is so not what you asked, I know, but please consider reading something like "Everything Personal Finance in Your 20s and 30s" (http://www.amazon.com/The-Everything-Personal-Finance-Your/dp/1598696343) before making the decision to take out a big loan.0 -
Totally agree. Peanuts in the course of your whole life.$10,000 to be much happier with your body for the rest of your life? Go for it.0 -
I don't think it's selfish, but why would you go into debt for it??? Work extra, get a second (or third) job, save up for it, THEN have the surgery.0
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Definately NOT selfish.If it were me and I'd lost the amount of weight that you lost I'd do it in a heartbeat. Life is for living and it's too short to be miserable, go for it.0
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No, it's not selfish. Being happy with your body is worth a lot more than $10,000.
See if you can get a kickstarter or some other crowd funding website to let you get help with payments.0 -
When it's time for plastics, I'm getting mine done outside of the USA at a fraction of the cost and it won't be the first time I've traveled outside of the country for surgery..... but anyway, that's a different topic.
The question is: Is it selfish? If your family will starve so that mommy can have nice arms, then yes, it's selfish. Otherwise, it's no different then spending money on designer handbags or buying a car that is anything more than a sh!tbox that can get you from point A to point B.
I wouldn't go out of the country for surgery, OP.0 -
By definition, I guess it is selfish. But that doesn't make it wrong or bad. This is something you need to discuss with your husband -- risks, rewards, can you afford it?
If in the long run the pros outweigh the cons, you should probably do it.0 -
My parents both had skin removal done after losing a ton of weight (gastric bypass in their cases) and it was covered by insurance due to risk of infections. I'd make sure you talk to the doctor about that risk before doing anything in case at least a portion of it can be taken care of that way.
My largely uneven breasts were corrected with 50% insurance coverage due to the impacts on my back and the psychological aspect (for me they were 3 sizes different so it was a pretty obvious difference to anyone who saw me).0 -
But it IS different;it's her body, and she'll live with that body for the rest of her life. It's not some object that she'll carry around for a few years.When it's time for plastics, I'm getting mine done outside of the USA at a fraction of the cost and it won't be the first time I've traveled outside of the country for surgery..... but anyway, that's a different topic.
The question is: Is it selfish? If your family will starve so that mommy can have nice arms, then yes, it's selfish. Otherwise, it's no different then spending money on designer handbags or buying a car that is anything more than a sh!tbox that can get you from point A to point B.
No one's going to have a great body "for the rest of their life." Old age and its wrinkles+ sags are a reality. Just like handbags, outer beauty doesn't last forever. Not commenting on whether OP should or should not have surgery, just pointing out a reality I feel should be acknowledged.0 -
I say go for it. Take out a loan and make payments. Do your research on good doctors.0
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Most of these responses are so strange.... of COURSE this would be selfish. It's the very definition of selfish, but that's the wrong question to ask. Doing something for yourself that does not benefit anyone else isn't an inherently evil act.
The right questions to ask are:
1. Is cosmetic skin removal the right thing for me?
That's entirely up to you to answer.
2. Is it worth it to take out a loan to have the procedure done?
Please consider this carefully. I (and any responsible financial advisor) would tell you that if you have to take out a loan for something like this, that means you really can't afford it. There are probably other things you should consider doing with your money (sorry). This is so not what you asked, I know, but please consider reading something like "Everything Personal Finance in Your 20s and 30s" (http://www.amazon.com/The-Everything-Personal-Finance-Your/dp/1598696343) before making the decision to take out a big loan.
THIS. I don't think anyone can say it is or isn't selfish without knowing your financial situation in some detail. If it puts a huge strain on your family finances, then yes it is. If you have money to spare and would be burning it elsewhere, probably not. The fact that you would have to take out a loan does seem indicative that it is something you can't truly afford. A payment plan is one thing, but loans can get you in trouble real fast. I would say wait until you have the money/financial stability and then decide.0 -
Think about how much money you have already saved and will save by being the healthier you that you are. You have probably cut back on food costs by eating less over the past 3-5 years both during your loss and during maintenance. Though I know that some would argue that eating healthy is more expensive…. Plus keep in mind how much money your are saving just by being healthier. You have or will have fewer trips to the doctor. You may be off of medication or stay off medication in the future. You will be around longer to take care of and be there for your family. All of these things are sort of hidden savings, but they add up to money saved in the long haul, money that you’ve earned for this procedure that will make you a happier person. And wouldn’t your family want a happier you?!0
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2. Is it worth it to take out a loan to have the procedure done?
Please consider this carefully. I (and any responsible financial advisor) would tell you that if you have to take out a loan for something like this, that means you really can't afford it. There are probably other things you should consider doing with your money (sorry). This is so not what you asked, I know, but please consider reading something like "Everything Personal Finance in Your 20s and 30s" (http://www.amazon.com/The-Everything-Personal-Finance-Your/dp/1598696343) before making the decision to take out a big loan.
Ehhhhhhh.....usually I'd agree, I'm very very financially conservative. But, just because someone doesn't have $10K laying around in the bank doesn't mean they don't have the ability to save up $10K over the next 5 years or whatnot - the only difference between saving it and paying a loan is the interest, and, well, that's the price you pay. And there's CERTAINLY a benefit to getting it done now over waiting until she has the money saved up.
If the skin is negatively impacting her life that much, I don't see how it's any different from any other medical procedure that you can't pay for up front. What if she had terrible back pain and the only way to correct it was through surgery, but technically she could go on with her life and do everything she needed to do, she'd just be miserable, but her deductible for the surgery was several thousand dollars that she'd then have to pay in installments over several years because she didn't have it in hand? Should she wait to have the surgery until she's saved her portion up? No, this isn't QUITE like that either, but I'd argue that it's a lot closer to that scenario than some impulsive purchase she can't afford. This isn't like a trip to Paris or granite countertops or whatever. You know?0 -
Regarding the decision to cut or not, I leave that to you. If I thought I had no more options, I'd probably be looking at the same thing.
On a seemingly unrelated note, I'd recommend finding a way to do it without debt. I am completely debt free except for the mortgage, and it is going fast! When I finally buckled down and decided to get rid of the debt, I freed up so much stress [that I didn't know was really there], and gained a great deal of discipline for planning and goal setting that is translating into the weight loss I'm now pursuing.
In essence, they were tied together. The habits that got me to obesity, also got me into heavy debt, that is not planning beyond near term, making decisions with long term outlook.
Anyhow, I'd see if there is a way to budget, cut back spending, work extra, sell some things, etc. etc. etc., so you can do it debt free. You'll build a great deal of personal fortitiude while doing this, and if you're budgeting regularly with hubby, you'll find your communication and relationship as a whole will improve.
I've learned so much, and I'm sure have much more to do. In any case, I love to see people improve themselves, and you've come such a long way to doing that. Congratulations!0 -
I don't think it's selfish, but why would you go into debt for it??? Work extra, get a second (or third) job, save up for it, THEN have the surgery.
This ^
If the only way you can get something is to take out a loan, then by definition you cannot afford it.
I don't think getting the surgery is selfish at all in the OP's case, but it is a luxury, no different from buying a ski boat or going on a nice cruise vacation. Nothing wrong with any of that if you can actually pay for it, but I sure as heck wouldn't take on debt for it.
I heard a saying somewhere (probably from Dave Ramsey) along the lines of how wealthy people ask "how much is it?", and broke people ask "how much are the payments?" :-)
I'm sure the OP didn't lose weight with a quick, painless fix. It took many small steps that added up, over a period of time, requiring lots of patience and the ability to delay gratification. Personal finance isn't really much different.0 -
2. Is it worth it to take out a loan to have the procedure done?
Please consider this carefully. I (and any responsible financial advisor) would tell you that if you have to take out a loan for something like this, that means you really can't afford it. There are probably other things you should consider doing with your money (sorry). This is so not what you asked, I know, but please consider reading something like "Everything Personal Finance in Your 20s and 30s" (http://www.amazon.com/The-Everything-Personal-Finance-Your/dp/1598696343) before making the decision to take out a big loan.
Ehhhhhhh.....usually I'd agree, I'm very very financially conservative. But, just because someone doesn't have $10K laying around in the bank doesn't mean they don't have the ability to save up $10K over the next 5 years or whatnot - the only difference between saving it and paying a loan is the interest, and, well, that's the price you pay. And there's CERTAINLY a benefit to getting it done now over waiting until she has the money saved up.
It's more complicated than that, though.
If she has any student loans, credit card debt, car loans, or mortgage, than any payments she makes toward this loan are coming from funds that she could be using to pay down existing debt, effectively costing her hundreds or thousands of dollars in additional interest.
If she has to take out a loan for the full amount, that probably means that she doesn't have an emergency fund, which means that if anything happens (including complications resulting from surgery, job loss, or any other unexpected expenses), then she could wind up missing payments on any or all of her existing debt, triggering a raise in interest.
Even if she currently has zero debt, a fully-funded emergency buffer, and everything goes exactly as expected, money she's spending on this is money she's not saving and earning a return on, whether that's saving up for a house, for retirement, or for anything else that might be important to her.
I am not saying she shouldn't do it - I just think she (and pretty much everybody on the planet
) should make educated decisions. Many Americans are in heavy debt because the only thing they consider is whether or not they can make the payments - not what the full ramifications of their decisions are. 0 -
You did an amazing job - you deserve to look good. I say do it!0
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It sort of depends on the loan. I'm not really in any rush to pay down my 3.15% interest rate mortgage, as I average a better return from other investments. Likewise, I put part of my kitchen remodel on a 0% interest credit card last year and paid it off exactly a year later with part of my yearly bonus. Taking out a loan in and of itself is not a bad thing and there's no reason to be so afraid of credit. Credit is a great thing, when used properly.
That said, if we're talking about putting a luxury purchase on a 12%+ interest credit card and your time frame for paying it back is years instead of months, then it's fair to say it's a bad idea. And if your payments mean you can't afford to buy books for your kids or make some other important purchase, then maybe you need to wait until your financial situation improves.
But as far as it being selfish... it's as selfish as making any luxury purchase. Is it selfish if I splurge on a nice car? I don't particularly think so, because it's my money and I have no dependents. Others have no right to money I earn, so I'm free to spend it on myself without worry.0
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