My boyfriend doesnt want me to be "too skinny"

365andstillalive

I'm going to be an optimist since I think we've already seen the negative views on this thread about how your SO could be trying to control you, or worried you may become more attractive and decide to leave him etc.

We all have preferences in how we like our mates to look, and your SO could legitimately prefer women who are near the 230lb range. You should really talk to him about it and explain that you would really like to get to a point where you're healthy and that you want to keep the lines of communication open between you two. If you're in a long term relationship, or one where you see potential for marriage or another large commitment, his opinion does to a degree matter.

When I met my boyfriend I was the lowest weight I've ever been (which is about 4lbs less than I've managed to get back down to now) and when I was talking about still wanting to lose weight before I "fell off the wagon" he was legitimately concerned because he likes bigger, curvier women but he's realized as I've lost weight the second time around, that it's made such a big difference in my confidence, how I hold myself, and how I perceive my body and that is the best thing that could have happened for our relationship. He does still make jokes about making sure I don't lose my booty, but he's pretty happy with my continuing to lose weight, and I've made it clear that if I start to get to a point where his attraction to me is diminishing that I'd like him to vocalize that. It doesn't necessarily mean that I would stop losing weight, but I get the feeling it'd be a good healthy check for me.

That being said, I don't know how you came up with the 120 number or how realistic that is for you since I don't know your body fat percentage, your frame size, your height etc but remember that a number on the scale doesn't matter nearly as much as your health and how you feel about yourself. At 5'6 my own goal is 25lbs above yours.

MinnieInMaine

Here's the deal - are you doing this for him or for you? Point is, as others have said, there's a good chance he'll still think you're hot under 230. And you'll be able to stop shopping at Lane Bryant well before you get to 120. Take it one step at a time.

When I started at 260, I told my husband I wnated to lose 100 pounds - his reply? Why not try to get down to 120? Totally clueless - as a 5'7" woman with a medium/large frame, I'd literally be skin and bones. But he had a girlfriend at that weight when he was younger so he pulled it out of his brain not really knowing the difference.

SoDamnHungry

The beauty of weigh is that your choices aren't either 120 or 230. There's a lot of weights in between. So start losing because 230 is an unhealthy weight for you, and see how you feel as you lose.

FatFreeFrolicking

I can tell you right now that 230 pounds is not healthy… unless you are 6'10"+ (which I highly doubt). Perhaps your boyfriend needs some education on what a healthy weight is for someone of your height.

syarberry1013

Do whatever makes YOU happy! Your happiness comes first!! and if your boyfriend truly only cares about your happiness then he won't care what weight makes you happy.

onionparsleysage

I would stop focusing on a goal weight number, and just work towards getting healthy. The BMI chart is a good place to start with finding a goal weight range, and remember that some healthy people fall off either side of the "normal" range.

No one knows what's happening in your boyfriend's head when he suggests 230, but I wouldn't fuss too much over that conversation. Just work on losing weight in a healthy fashion, because anyone who loves you wants you to be healthy.