Question for men who lift

knittinlady

I noticed a guy struggling with his bench press yesterday. He looked like a beginner, because he was lifting less than I do(I'm still pretty much a beginner myself; been lifting for two months). I almost asked him if he wanted a spotter, but changed my mind at the last second. I thought he would feel insulted, having a chick offer to spot him.

My husband agreed with me, that it was a good thing I hadn't offered.
One of my fitness buddies(another chick) said it's better to have a spot than not, so next time I should offer.

Now I'm not so sure... Would you feel insulted? Or be grateful for the help?

JTick

1. Just because someone lifts less than you, it doesn't mean they're a beginner. He could be coming back from injury/illness/etc.

2. I would probably not be totally irritated, but would brush you off if you offered to spot me. If I need a spot, I ask for one. If he's too stubborn to ask for a spot, it's not your problem.

MsHarryWinston

And any guy that is "insulted" that a woman would offer to spot them is a complete d*ck. So long as you have the strength to spot him properly incase something goes wrong, your gender shouldn't be an issue! Seriously, that shouldn't even cross your mind. Let's try to squash that whole "real lifting is just for men" junk. Do your thing!

lishie_rebooted

1. Just because someone lifts less than you, it doesn't mean they're a beginner. He could be coming back from injury/illness/etc.

2. I would probably not be totally irritated, but would brush you off if you offered to spot me. If I need a spot, I ask for one. If he's too stubborn to ask for a spot, it's not your problem.

^so much this.

I'd be annoyed if someone butted in to offer a spot.

usmcmp

I offer to spot all the time. Most politely decline, a few have said they appreciate it.

I don't get offended by the few that lash out or act like an *kitten* when I offer. That's their personal issue, not mine.

jmc0806

I honestly wouldn't mind at all, I tend to limit myself on bench and stick with a weight longer because I don't have a spotter, so I'd definitely welcome it from any gender.

accelerashawn

I get my wife to spot me and she benches 150lbs less than I do.

If he is struggling as in looking like he is about to drop it on himself i might ask if he wants a spot. If he is just slowing down and having difficulty with his last rep...that's normal and he probably doesn't need a spot.

Doesn't hurt to offer help. Don't need to make a big deal about it...if you feel like you want to offer help..offer it. Worst that could happen is he says WTF? HOW DARE YOU! and then he rips you in half and eats you....but that's unlikely

randomtai

I tend to mind my own business at the gym. It has worked for me well so far.

randomtai

I offer to spot all the time. Most politely decline, a few have said they appreciate it.

I don't get offended by the few that lash out or act like an *kitten* when I offer. That's their personal issue, not mine.

You can spot me any day of the week.

parkscs

You would get offended at an offer for a spot? I guess maybe if they said "Hey bro, you're looking pretty scrawny, you definitely need a spot to lift that weight"... but then again, what's offensive in that statement is pretty much everything except the offer for spot. I've lifted with women before and I've known lots of guys much stronger than I am that do the same. In short, I think if you approached it in the right fashion, there's nothing offensive about simply offering to spot someone who's benching.

GiddyupTim

It is a difficult question. But, things are changing. Women used to use little pink weights in the privacy of their own home. Now they don't.
I do Crossfit and there are women sometimes who use heavier weight than I do for the workouts. Course, they are younger and better looking.
I play tennis and I could never beat Serena Williams or Maria Sharapova or anyone in the top 100, and I play a lot and I play well.
It is just the way it is. We can get over our ego and get used to it. It's not like you were going to laugh at him. You were just going to offer to help. Usually when someone spots on a bench press they aren't lifting the weight completely; they're simply assisting on the last couple of reps.
Next time I need some help, I'm going to wish you were there! (Yes, i have climbed out from underneath a barbell -- or dropped one on the floor -- more than a few times.)

yopeeps025

So I think you are asking for example.

I put on some weight on bar and you feel I cannot do it. I say well you can watch if you like to. I do ask for spots when I need it though.

DvlDwnInGA

If I have the bb stuck on my chest because I can't push the weight off me, I don't care who comes to the rescue. Haha.

Hornsby

I offer to spot all the time. Most politely decline, a few have said they appreciate it.

I don't get offended by the few that lash out or act like an *kitten* when I offer. That's their personal issue, not mine.

You can spot me any day of the week.

I agree with this^

PwrLftr82

If I have the bb stuck on my chest because I can't push the weight off me, I don't care who comes to the rescue. Haha.

Yup--that was me on Friday. Luckily this little guy (like 5'1") was there and took it off me. I was ridiculously thankful that he was there and looking out for me!

SonyaCele

i don't offer to spot a stranger at the gym, even though i know i physically can. I assume most responsible people aren't gonna lift more than can handle if they don't have their own gym buddy/spotter . I'll offer to spot my friends, all the time.

andywrightpt

Nothing wrong with offering someone a spot if they look like they need it.

yopeeps025

i don't offer to spot a stranger at the gym, even though i know i physically can. I assume most responsible people aren't gonna lift more than can handle if they don't have their own gym buddy/spotter . I'll offer to spot my friends, all the time.

You be surprised I watched a guy barely bench 275 once. The he process to put 315 on the bar and gets stuck immediately on his chest.

I ask random people at my gym all the time for spots. I rather have one then get stuck and do the roll of shame.

Cherimoose

I tend to mind my own business at the gym. It has worked for me well so far.

The question is what's best for the person who might need help, not for us.

Some people do get in deeper water than they can handle, so there's nothing wrong with offering help. If that feels awkward, just build a little rapport first.

smittybuilt19

bump, for forthcoming responses.


ETA: I wouldn't mind a woman offering a spot, however I generally do not work with more than I know I can. When I do go for say a 1RM I will plan accordingly and have a spot lined up.

dbmata

I'd totally take a spot from a woman. Ovaries doesn't mean that they can't provide assistance.

Now, if they offer to spot, and bunk it up, well... mostly my fault for taking more weight than I should have and agreeing to a random spot.