forced birthday eating?

Lillyzar

I wasn't sure how to word the title but here it goes. My birthday is this coming Thursday and I was asked by my staff what kind of cake I like. I said chocolate but then thought about it and said "Please no cake or food for my birthday." I get told that it's my birthday and there's no dieting on birthdays. Now, I had a great week and am super motivated but these are the types of situations that drive me crazy. It seems that others either don't care or understand how hard it is to eat well for some of us! The person who told me this is very overweight themselves so it's it's not like I could joke and say "well it's easy for you to say" or anything along those lines. Well let's see how much will power I have this week!

Gargwin82

Maybe tell them you'll bring in a cake for them, or look up a healthy recipe and suggest they make it for you instead. If they insist on food veggie plates, or Subway sandwhiches with healthy toppings.

It's so hard when people EXPECT you to eat on special occasions. I have a large family and most struggle with weight. Me going to an event and not filling my plate to a brim they take as an insult, like I'm too good for them. Really that's their issue, not mine.

runningneo122

Haven't you heard about once a week you have a "cheat day"? It helps avoid binging and cravings. Think of it as a reward for sticking to the diet the other 6 days. This will keep your body guessing and you don't go nuts trying to avoid all the things you used to eat.

strbryt

You know how people put others down to make themselves feel better? Well it can be along the same lines for eating as well so try and remember that people will say those type of things so that if you eat it is ok for them to eat cause it is a celebration. The other thing you can try is compromising with them. Let there be food but tell them that you would love a fruit tray instead and maybe some diet soda

sprinkies

i didn't have cake or a birthday splurge for my bday this year cause i had weightloss goals dammit! two months later we were going on a cruise and i WAS going to be 25 pounds lighter. i met the goal and had my bday cake/dinner on the cruise, just 2 months overdue :P

NyteMirage

I know exactly how you feel. It seems the work place is the hardest place to say no. My workplace is always having some kind of event. And there is always food in the break room. It was even harder at my old job. They had munchie days at least once a month. I'd go with a compromise. Eat just a small piece of cake to splurge just a little. Don't have a huge piece. Just enough to give yourself a nice reward. And make sure there are healthy foods if they're going to make it an all out munchie day. That should make you feel a little better. When I did Weight watchers a few years ago I used to be good during the week and splurge with my "extra points" on the weekends and it seemed like I lost more weight when I was a little bad on the weekend vs when I was good all 7 days of the week.

lgeren

It's so hard to avoid those situations. Like when you go to a person's house and they have cooked all this food for you & you just have to pick & choose. I know how that feels. It's very hard especially when you are on the starting end & not wanting to mess up.

I recommend letting them bring the food & cake and maybe instead of going overboard, just take a very small piece of cake & smaller portions of the things that you used to eat. maybe even just pick & choose the healthiest options & try not to worry about it too much. There are going to be those situations you just can't avoid. You can work it off doing a little extra exercise that day or that week or just count is as a cheat day w/o going overboard.

runningneo122

I know exactly how you feel. It seems the work place is the hardest place to say no. My workplace is always having some kind of event. And there is always food in the break room. It was even harder at my old job. They had munchie days at least once a month. I'd go with a compromise. Eat just a small piece of cake to splurge just a little. Don't have a huge piece. Just enough to give yourself a nice reward. And make sure there are healthy foods if they're going to make it an all out munchie day. That should make you feel a little better. When I did Weight watchers a few years ago I used to be good during the week and splurge with my "extra points" on the weekends and it seemed like I lost more weight when I was a little bad on the weekend vs when I was good all 7 days of the week.

YEP It's called a "cheat day".

Lillyzar

@ Gargwin82 I know what you mean! My family is super cool and supportive but I know exactly the situation that you are talking about! I love the idea of healthy recipe cake. My sister did that for me last year but it was my fault that I stopped watching what I ate after that

@ Runningneo122 I know it's important to vary our caloric intake and to not deprive ourselves but I want to choose when and how I do it! I guess I'm a bit of a brat. lol

@ srbryt You're right about that! And I'm sure the fruit tray would be a welcome change to everyone at the office after a season of overindulging in heavy cakes, pies and cookies.

@ sprinkies That is absolutely awesome that you held off and met your goal...I won't be at goal after 25 but I will sure be happy I didn't eat the cake

runningneo122

@ Runningneo122 I know it's important to vary our caloric intake and to not deprive ourselves but I want to choose when and how I do it! I guess I'm a bit of a brat. lol

No offense, but letting someone else choose to make your b/day a cheat day isn't a big deal.... you get to choose the other 51weeks of the year. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

rosebarnalice

A friend of mine who has struggled with her weight had a birthday several months ago, and I made a parfait-like fruit salad by arranging layers of apple, pineapple, peach, mango, grapes, watermelon, and canteloupe in a lovely trifle serving dish. The watermelon was on the top, and that's what we stuck the birthday candles in.

And some years ago, the same friend presented me with a "chocolate cream pie" made of fat free chocolate pudding with no crust in a pie plate. She made it extra firm by not adding quite as much skim milk as the recipe called for, and then serving it really cold. It was firm enough to hold the candles until I blew them out!

Godsflower1789

suggest cupcakes. single serving only 120 calories. It's hard to tell people you don't eat that, because they are "trying to do something for your birthday". and really, the thought means more than the calories...but people who arent watching what they are eating don"t understand that.

Like I said, I've always opted for either cupcakes (request unfrosted-just say you "don't like frosting")
OR angel food cake. also very little calories

or if you want the best of both worlds....chocolate angel food cupcakes. :-) haha.

but seriously, just a few options! cupcakes are always welcome, and they get their "i did something for your birthday" kick without spoiling your hard work :-)

Lillyzar

@ Runningneo122 I know it's important to vary our caloric intake and to not deprive ourselves but I want to choose when and how I do it! I guess I'm a bit of a brat. lol

No offense, but letting someone else choose to make your b/day a cheat day isn't a big deal.... you get to choose the other 51weeks of the year. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Lol! I guess.... the more I think about it I sound ungrateful complaining about people who are trying to do something nice for me on my birthday.

aaddaammggoolleeaaffss

Haven't you heard about once a week you have a "cheat day"? It helps avoid binging and cravings. Think of it as a reward for sticking to the diet the other 6 days. This will keep your body guessing and you don't go nuts trying to avoid all the things you used to eat.

Yes but if your changing your trying to make a lifestyle change a 'cheat' day doesn't really work. One day of cheating could also through off many days of hard work.

aaddaammggoolleeaaffss

@ Runningneo122 I know it's important to vary our caloric intake and to not deprive ourselves but I want to choose when and how I do it! I guess I'm a bit of a brat. lol

No offense, but letting someone else choose to make your b/day a cheat day isn't a big deal.... you get to choose the other 51weeks of the year. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Lol! I guess.... the more I think about it I sound ungrateful complaining about people who are trying to do something nice for me on my birthday.

I don't think you sound ungrateful at all, it's actually good that your thinking that way because it shows that you really want to do this and your in the right mindset to be successful!

robbienjill

what about a slice of angel food cake with strawberries and sugar free whipped cream? Either way I hope you have a great day. PS, you could always take a slice of cake home with you and wrap it in wax paper and place it in a freezer container for a later time. This is what we do when our neigbor makes us her famous pound cake (unannounced lol but well appreciated). That way we can take out an individual slice when we have extra calories or for an unexpected weekend treat.

runningneo122

Haven't you heard about once a week you have a "cheat day"? It helps avoid binging and cravings. Think of it as a reward for sticking to the diet the other 6 days. This will keep your body guessing and you don't go nuts trying to avoid all the things you used to eat.

Yes but if your changing your trying to make a lifestyle change a 'cheat' day doesn't really work. One day of cheating could also through off many days of hard work.

Let me start by saying, "no offense, but,"
Absolutely untrue.

The "cheat day" strategy comes right from several books written by people like: Arnold Schwarzanegger and Tom Venuto who are both former Mr. Universe winners many times over. Check out:Burn The Fat, Feed The Muscle by Tom Venuto. I swear by it as do several other successful posters I have read on here who either cited it themselves or dittoed my remarks.

runningneo122

@ Runningneo122 I know it's important to vary our caloric intake and to not deprive ourselves but I want to choose when and how I do it! I guess I'm a bit of a brat. lol

No offense, but letting someone else choose to make your b/day a cheat day isn't a big deal.... you get to choose the other 51weeks of the year. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Lol! I guess.... the more I think about it I sound ungrateful complaining about people who are trying to do something nice for me on my birthday.

I don't think you sound ungrateful at all, it's actually good that your thinking that way because it shows that you really want to do this and your in the right mindset to be successful!

Again no offense but you should read it through again...... I think you missed the joke being made.:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :noway:

rogers8702

my birthday was this past wednesay i had cake at work and then again at our weekly family dinner that night. i only went over my calories by 100. you can view my diary if you like. you should never totally deprive yourself it just leads to bigger indulgences IMO

dwarfer22

I don't agree w/ the "cheat day" people out there. Not for me anyway. As a food addict myself, one taste of cake or super sweet treat would send me into a tailspin. Would you offer crack to a drug addict? A beer to an alchoholic. To answer the actual question, I would pull the coworker who is coordinating the event, or food and politely explain that you are super happy that they want to celebrate your day w/ you but if they are to bring a food item, make it a fruit tray or veggie tray. You would hate for them to go to all the effort and then not be able to participate. You have made a commitment to yourself to eat healthily to better yourself and you really wouldn't be able to eat cake on the day.

Nailrep

I posted something similar tonight. I just don't understand why there is such a level of disrespect at time to people trying to get healthy.

Let them get the cake, eat a sliver, and then walk an extra 30 minutes. But make sure they take home or trash the rest of the cake so it doesn't call to you from the breakroom!! Good luck!

runningneo122

I don't agree w/ the "cheat day" people out there. Not for me anyway. As a food addict myself, one taste of cake or super sweet treat would send me into a tailspin. Would you offer crack to a drug addict? A beer to an alchoholic. To answer the actual question, I would pull the coworker who is coordinating the event, or food and politely explain that you are super happy that they want to celebrate your day w/ you but if they are to bring a food item, make it a fruit tray or veggie tray. You would hate for them to go to all the effort and then not be able to participate. You have made a commitment to yourself to eat healthily to better yourself and you really wouldn't be able to eat cake on the day.

As a recovering addict 13+ years clean I'm not saying your cheat day is a license to go nuts. The cheat day keeps your body from settling into a rhythm. Keep it guessing.... the same thing applies to exercise programs. Do a set program the same way for 6 weeks and then take 4 -7 days off and change up the exercise routine and do it for the next 6 weeks etc. to keep the muscles from developing "muscle memory". The cheat day is a tactic to wean yourself off the bad habits and into good habits. I haven't eaten fried foods for over a year and I don't miss them now, but they used to be a "cheat food". Now my "cheat day" is just going over on calories with healthy food. Look at my diary and you'll see: Snickerdoodles --- one or snickerdoodles --- two

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not 12....... This is a journey that takes a lot of small steps and these methods come from people who have trained 1000's of people and used that experience and wrote a book about it. Check out: Burn The Fat, Feed The Muscle by Tom Venuto. This guy is my role model. The first chapter is about goal setting and the subconscious and how only 5 percent of people do this. No surprise that 95% of people have trouble with continued dietting success. This book cleared up a lot of Q's for me that I coudn't find the A for in other places. Like: when should I exercise and when should I eat? "Fasted cardio" works best for me which is doing cardio first thing in the morning having only a cup of hot tea(or caffeine of your choice) and waiting 30 minutes for absorption B4 running for more than 30 minutes a day. When I do this every day, I lose 2 - 3 pounds a week. I just recovered from an injury and I decided to join MFP and I lost 3 pounds the first week.

pamp1emousse

Ah, I completely understand. It's my birthday on Friday and my family want to stuff me with cakes and my friends want to stuff me with alcohol! And I'm just getting back on track after the holidays. So I understand your dilemma.

In my opinion, it's YOUR birthday. When it's a loved one's birthday, if they want cake you have to join in their day and have some, even if it's just a little bit. On your day, if you don't want it to be food-centred, it doesn't have to be. However, it's not really a life plan if you can't relax a little on special occasions . I'm going to exercise on the day, eat at maintenance if need be, but mainly just fit stuff in by eating healthily otherwise throughout the day. If you have a light lunch, for example, you CAN have a slice of birthday cake! Or if you go for a long walk/do 30 mins of cardio you can have a glass or 2 of wine.

By all means, don't depress yourself on your own birthday by stuffing yourself against your will to make others happy, but if you make some minor adjustments you can still relax a bit and enjoy yourself . Just plan ahead! Happy birthday! :drinker:

wowzer

"Feeders" as I call them are making themselves feel better by getting you to eat. Misery loves company. Suggest an alternative. Perhaps a fruit plate ot no sugar dessert than you can plan for in your calorie count.

runningneo122

Ah, I completely understand. It's my birthday on Friday and my family want to stuff me with cakes and my friends want to stuff me with alcohol! And I'm just getting back on track after the holidays. So I understand your dilemma.

In my opinion, it's YOUR birthday. When it's a loved one's birthday, if they want cake you have to join in their day and have some, even if it's just a little bit. On your day, if you don't want it to be food-centred, it doesn't have to be. However, it's not really a life plan if you can't relax a little on special occasions . I'm going to exercise on the day, eat at maintenance if need be, but mainly just fit stuff in by eating healthily otherwise throughout the day. If you have a light lunch, for example, you CAN have a slice of birthday cake! Or if you go for a long walk/do 30 mins of cardio you can have a glass or 2 of wine.

By all means, don't depress yourself on your own birthday by stuffing yourself against your will to make others happy, but if you make some minor adjustments you can still relax a bit and enjoy yourself . Just plan ahead! Happy birthday! :drinker:

I have made my b/day a "get away day". When I lived in PA, I went snow skiing every year. I started running about 11 months ago and set my self a goal of running 6 miles. I was up to 6.5 miles a day in about 6 months on the street. Got a treadmill now. Now that I've recovered from an injury and have resumed running, I set a goal to run 6 miles in under 60 minutes by my b/day(S/N number). I prefer to make it MY day like xmaxine says.

Ditto to wowzer also.

Lillyzar

Thank you all for the wonderful suggestions! I plan to enjoy the day and to remember that as a lifestyle change I will face choices such as this one!

R200thie

Hi It's my birthday Friday!! I have a few nights out planned and just plan to excercise a bit more to compensate and to go for healthy options? Just have a little bit of cake? I mean if you cant have cake on your birthday when can you have it? xx

downtome

My sister's daughter just had a birthday as well. She bought one of those yummy ice cream cakes from winco, did I have a piece? Hell yes I did but I worked it into my calories for the day. I did not beat myself up or feel quilty, period! The reality is, your going to have days where you want a little something extra or something you might think is forbidden and unplanned, it's a lifestyle change. Embrace the change and make choices that are good for you. In all honesty, will you never eat cake or anything else like that again for the rest of your life? Most likely you will so plan for it and don't let it be a license to binge out the rest of the day. It's ok to splurge every so often, I would go crazy if I couldn't have my Mexican food at least once every two weeks. I agree with some of the other posters on having the occasional forbidden foods on occasion. My diet mentality used to be so warped that even the slightest slip would set me up for a binge, those days are over. This is for life not a temporary quick fix which never works. Good luck and Happy Birthday!

PJilly

I wasn't sure how to word the title but here it goes. My birthday is this coming Thursday and I was asked by my staff what kind of cake I like. I said chocolate but then thought about it and said "Please no cake or food for my birthday." I get told that it's my birthday and there's no dieting on birthdays. Now, I had a great week and am super motivated but these are the types of situations that drive me crazy. It seems that others either don't care or understand how hard it is to eat well for some of us! The person who told me this is very overweight themselves so it's it's not like I could joke and say "well it's easy for you to say" or anything along those lines. Well let's see how much will power I have this week!

It sounds like your staff enjoys celebrating people's birthdays. I say, "Let them eat cake," if that makes them happy. If you want to have some, I think you ought to, but I don't think you should feel obligated to eat any either. When you were asked, you told them you didn't want cake or food for your birthday. This is YOUR birthday, isn't it? I'm sure they're trying to be thoughtful, but if they were really being thoughtful, they'd honor your wishes for your birthday. If it were me, and I decided I still didn't want to eat any, I'd take the plate, thank them sincerely, but then not eat any. They may not even notice. If they do, you can explain that even though you really appreciate the gesture, your preference really was not to have birthday cake and remind them that's what you said when asked. Good luck, and happy birthday!

TaneeisFitforLife

For my birthday I totally hinted around that I would LOVE to have one of those edible fruit arrangements especially with the dark chocolate covered berries.

My friends chipped in and actually got me one instead of trying to figure out what cake to get me (I'm picky if I'm splurging on cake!!)

It's your birthday....if they are asking don't be afraid to tell them. I used to work in an office and it was always someone's freaking birthday or holiday :P

I don't believe in cheats days either. If you want something then work it into your daily calories

kelsully

I am not one that indulges in sweets often. Never have been. I don't think cake is worth eating even when not trying to eat healthy. I would much rather have pie...even that gets people acting all weird..."It;s your bday...you have to have cake" I don't really like cake...My hubby and I exchanged chocolate covered strawberries at our wedding..cake just doesn't taste that good to me. If people ask me about cake for a special event for me or my family I give suggestions that I actually enjoy and feel good about...if they still choose to buy cake then they can waste their own money...I won't eat it...It isn't about cheat day or not it is about doing what makes you feel good especially on your own bday. If you would rather have a veggie tray and some fruit and save your big splurge like meal for an awesome calorie laden Mexican dinner celebrated with loved ones then don't eat the darn cake. I am not going to eat anything that I will not be able to enjoy and savor...and savor is the key to me...I am ok with "going over" and eating splurge worthy foods but it has to be mindful and I must be able to savor each morsel or I am blowing my choices on nonsense eating...snacking on Christmas cookies while chatting at a party would have been mindless eating in which I wouldn't have enjoyed the cookies anyway...so why do it? If eating birthday cake at the office would be the same for you...mindless eating to not stand out and not even taking the time to savor each morsel...then skip it. If I am going to splurge I do it mindfully and on foods that I really want and that I will really enjoy...not just treats others think I might like on my bday...