Crying
Replies
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So here's the good news:
1. You are gorgeous, just like previous posters have said and that's not likely to change
2. You are a good, and intelligent woman who has her whole life ahead of her and plenty of wonderful life choices ahead
Here's the bad news (for him)
1 He's an *kitten* and that's not likely to change either. His roomate made the comment but he let it go. Bad upbringing there.
2. His roommate is no prize and probably couldn't get a girl as lovely as you thus the laughing girl in the background. Who would knowingly date someone after hearing that come out of their mouths?
3. They are both WAY TOO OLD to be acting like that and there is no acceptable excuse. Saying "that's just how men act" is demeaning to real men. My 13 year old son knows better than to act in the manner you describe which tells me he's more of a man than either of those two idiots.
My advice? Dump that *kitten* and find yourself a real man. They're definitely out there!0 -
Great Idea to buy a fun shirt and move on! By the look of your profile picture you are beautiful. I can imagine how hurtful that must have been for you. The best revenge is to make him eat his words and continue on your weight loss journey! Feel free to add me as a friend if you would like!
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you are so not fat, or were! So the only thing I can think of is he meant some other chick, like maybe he thought you b/f was on the phone with someone else.0
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You have a hot bod and even if you used to be "fat" and he knows that, SCREW HIM! You're beautiful and look perfect to me and you shouldn't worry about what someone says about you or the old you because you're not that person anymore.0
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YOU ARE MAGNIFICENT. DUMP THAT GUY.0
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Exactly! You put it very well... Real men simply do NOT act in that manner toward Women! Though some make excuses for their ignorance at times... doesn't mean it's right.Saying "that's just how men act" is demeaning to real men.0 -
sorry to hear that this happened to you...People can be very inconsiderate of others feelings. You are very beautiful and have awesome legs ...I think the friend is just jealous as others have already said because he doesn't have someone as beautiful as you....keep working hard and doing what you are doing because it is obviously working.... 0
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That is horrible and that roomate is incredible immature and unaware of other feelings. I can completely understand how that hurt. You do not deserve that at all.0
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SHOOT
A: if your fat then i wanna date obese women cause you are SMOKIN!!!
B: get rid of him sounds like a D bag anyways
C: have you looked at your pics cause you look great0 -
My best advice - kick him to the curb. Don't waste your energy on a guy who would be friends/roomates with a jerk. And, if he was a real man, he'd have got on the phone and apologized for his friend's comment. I assume he didn't. My response would be bahbye jerko. You're stunning. You were stunning +35 pounds too. Don't ever take the comments of an idiot to heart. I know words hurt. I get comments and stares and even dissapproving nods and up and downs. But, I don't put my energy into those that I don't really care about me. they don't deserve my attention. ((HUGGS)) Take care.:flowerforyou:0
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If thats the way your "semi boyfriend" or whatever he is, is going to let his friends talk to you like that or about you, then he isn't worth your time or effort! He should be defending you not allowing that crap, it's unacceptable in my book! Nip it in the bud now, there are much better fish in the sea and you are quite pretty so I know your not desperate! You DESERVE much better! Got it?!
Hugs and don't let it get you down or depressed. Oh yeah, and be picky about who you date I know I will be when I get back into the dating field and why, because I and you deserve only the best!0 -
Um...Hello! I looked at your pictures on your profile and YOU ARE NOT FAT!!!! You aren’t even close to fat. What an *kitten*!
I think you are absolutely beautiful and deserve so much better.
Sending hugs to you...You are way worth more than this! :flowerforyou:0 -
You are all incredibly supportive and kind. Thank you for helping me get through this..
I think I am going to buy Nike's shirt that says "Strong is the New Beautiful' and just move on. I have experienced this more than I would like to account for, but I would like to think it makes me a little bit stronger every time.
If any of you want a super supportive MyfitnessPal friend, then feel free to add me! I would love to be there for you as well. This journey is hard, but we are all here doing it together!
"Choice, not circumstances, determines success"
"Maintain an attitude of gratitude"
I do!! You have done amazingly well and i am just starting on the road to my goals,the more help and encouragement i can get thet better
I agree with everyone else, you are very beautiful and have a great figure and a fantastic personality/attitude to go with it.0 -
I don't know nor would I want to know a man that thinks calling a women 'fat' is OK. It's disrespectful, yes sometimes it can be used as a descriptor but that's hardly the case in this situation.
You must be a guy then right? You don't think like men. There is no way you can be. Men were taught that fat was ok. That being fat was ok. Women were taught otherwise.
No, I don't agree... I think most guys THINK other guys act this way... but it's simply not true. If a guy thinks this is how all guys act then it's the company they keep that's making them think this, not a true reflection on all guys.
The only part here I don't agree with, and this is coming from a guys point of view, is that most guys say that. I don't think he's being a creep. It's just meant to bring him down because probably his roommate has no one as hot as you or no one at all.What an *kitten*. He was probably messing with the guy anyway. Please don't take it too personal. It was meant as a joke to demean your bf. To bring him down. You understand?
This is the first thing I thought...This was meant as a jerk messing with a jerk. He was trying to not only demean your boyfriend but also make your boyfriend look like an *kitten*. Which he succeeded. However, the guy you are dating should not be hanging around with creeps like that. You are GORGEOUS! That whole phrase "sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me?" Bologna. But don't give the jerk any power. Its not true so don't focus on it. You are beautiful and that moron obviously should feel lucky he's dating you. :flowerforyou:
You're absolutely right, I'm not a guy, most definitely a female
I may not think like some men but I do know how to treat ppl that deserve to be treated well, what on earth would that have to do with being male or female? It's simply being decent!
It's possible that you might have been taught that telling a woman she was fat is acceptable but I doubt many women think it's acceptable being called that.
Bad behavior can have excuses but it's still rude behavior, the line 'I'm a guy so I can say it' gets old quick.:frown:0 -
So, this guy I have been semi dating (or something like that) just called me. He screams my name and then I hear in the background his roommate scream "Hey, is that the fat girl you're talking to". It really tore me apart. Yeah, I was fat, and yes I have more weight to lose, but the comment cut me to the core. Perhaps, I am too sensitive, words can hurt so bad.
My advice to you is to jettison the dead, useless weight you have in your life which is bringing you down: by that I mean the roommate and your "boyfriend".
If I am reading the situation correctly you used to be overweight. At that time the roommate used to make derogatory remarks about your appearance. Now you are slimmer but he is still doing so. Presumably your boyfriend knows all of this history.
First, the roommate obviously has some issue with you and seems to like putting you down. They cannot assess you objectively given these issues making their opinions worthless. You clearly have a nice figure. Next!
Second, your "boyfriend." This is more problematic. He either knows or should know that given your previous concerns over your weight and run ins with his room mate that the "fat girl" remarks are hurtful, disrespectful and borderline bullying. If he can't grasp that he is as dumb as a post. If he does understand that and does nothing that is insensitive and lacks backbone. Dumb, insensitive or weak willed are not a good look on a man.
I think the real situation here is that your previous size has made you under confident and open to being treated badly by morons. (For example what is "semi - dating"? A person either commits to you or they don't. If they can't they need to get the hell on...) This is unsuprising. We live in socities which push distorted images at us, particuarlarly women. Being slim is equated with being "good" or "desirable" or "worthy of love." Of course this is utter nonsense. It is the content of our chararcters which define us as people. What is in our hearts, the way we treat people, our positive actions which are ultimately the things on which we should be judged by. Sadly, it is very easy to be seduced by negative thinking and media images.
This site promotes health and strength. Equally as important as physical strength is mental and emotional health and robustness. However, just as you cannot look to other people to find the willpower and motivation to lose weight but have to look inside yourself, so it is with self image. It starts and ends with you. The good news is just like a muscle the way you view yourself, your confidence can be trained and grow.
If you are a good person and treat people well and someone is rude about you then the problem is theirs not yours. Don't take responsibility for their idiocy. Do what I do. Tell them have a Coke and a smile and shut the **** up.
Keep your head held high. Good luck kid.0 -
So, this guy I have been semi dating (or something like that) just called me. He screams my name and then I hear in the background his roommate scream "Hey, is that the fat girl you're talking to". It really tore me apart. Yeah, I was fat, and yes I have more weight to lose, but the comment cut me to the core. Perhaps, I am too sensitive, words can hurt so bad.
My advice to you is to jettison the dead, useless weight you have in your life which is bringing you down: by that I mean the roommate and your "boyfriend".
If I am reading the situation correctly you used to be overweight. At that time the roommate used to make derogatory remarks about your appearance. Now you are slimmer but he is still doing so. Presumably your boyfriend knows all of this history.
First, the roommate obviously has some issue with you and seems to like putting you down. They cannot assess you objectively given these issues making their opinions worthless. You clearly have a nice figure. Next!
Second, your "boyfriend." This is more problematic. He either knows or should know that given your previous concerns over your weight and run ins with his room mate that the "fat girl" remarks are hurtful, disrespectful and borderline bullying. If he can't grasp that he is as dumb as a post. If he does understand that and does nothing that is insensitive and lacks backbone. Dumb, insensitive or weak willed are not a good look on a man.
I think the real situation here is that your previous size has made you under confident and open to being treated badly by morons. (For example what is "semi - dating"? A person either commits to you or they don't. If they can't they need to get the hell on...) This is unsuprising. We live in socities which push distorted images at us, particuarlarly women. Being slim is equated with being "good" or "desirable" or "worthy of love." Of course this is utter nonsense. It is the content of our chararcters which define us as people. What is in our hearts, the way we treat people, our positive actions which are ultimately the things on which we should be judged by. Sadly, it is very easy to be seduced by negative thinking and media images.
This site promotes health and strength. Equally as important as physical strength is mental and emotional health and robustness. However, just as you cannot look to other people to find the willpower and motivation to lose weight but have to look inside yourself, so it is with self image. It starts and ends with you. The good news is just like a muscle the way you view yourself, your confidence can be trained and grow.
If you are a good person and treat people well and someone is rude about you then the problem is theirs not yours. Don't take responsibility for their idiocy. Do what I do. Tell them have a Coke and a smile and shut the **** up.
Keep your head held high. Good luck kid.
What a great post msf74, what you shared makes so much sense! It's always so nice to see a guys point of view that's positive and objective on the boards. So glad you took time out and shared your thoughts with the OP and the rest of us women as well, it's very much appreciated. :drinker:
There's decent guys out there Ladies there really is, and I think some women worry that there just might not be any left (because of their past experiences). For those of you that have wondered, here's some proof ... a man who knows how to treat women and was not afraid to jump in and share how he feels.
Hopefully we'll get more guys posting in this manner because of your example msf74!:flowerforyou:0 -
Get rid girl! You could do to loose 150lbs of JERK!!!
You're way to pretty to be treat like that by some douche bag!0 -
I think the real situation here is that your previous size has made you under confident and open to being treated badly by morons. (For example what is "semi - dating"? A person either commits to you or they don't. If they can't they need to get the hell on...) This is unsuprising. We live in socities which push distorted images at us, particuarlarly women. Being slim is equated with being "good" or "desirable" or "worthy of love." Of course this is utter nonsense. It is the content of our chararcters which define us as people. What is in our hearts, the way we treat people, our positive actions which are ultimately the things on which we should be judged by. Sadly, it is very easy to be seduced by negative thinking and media images.
Wow, Thank you so much for posting this.
I have never been treated well by any guy. Actually, I have been treated very poorly. AND in 22 years, I have never had a boyfriend. It is embarrassing and makes me so self conscious.
I think a lot of us don't believe we deserve better, but we do.
I hope I can get all of these negative influences that are literally only there to use me. It is so hurtful0 -
I agree! Words can hurt! The other day I told the guy I was seeing that I had lost 2 lbs and his comment was, "that's all?" REALLY? It was hard not to go off on an emotional eating binge! But I think the comment about our previous size makes us under confident. Hard to push thru, and hard to push him to the curb.0
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(( BIG HUG )) :flowerforyou:
Easier said than done, but don't let the *ssholes get you down! The best 'revenge' is getting on w/ your life and living well.
BTW you look absolutely fantastic!!0 -
with your boxing background go kick his butt. LOL>
Mean people suck0 -
He must have meant PHAT...!!!!!!0
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OK yes the roommate is an *kitten*. But your boyfriend isn't. At least I didn't hear you say he called you fat or anything to that effect. It seems he doesn't care what his roommate tells him. If ever does then get the hell away from him. What's good about being a girl you can kick his butt and the roommate can't do anything. If he does Your boyfriend better step up.0
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Natalie,you are so beautiful. Your smile is to die for. Don't waste your tears or emotions on this guy. You have more fishing to do. You will hook one that will appreciate you for who God made you to be. Hang in with the MFP crowd. We're family and we welcome you to our home.♥♥0
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Yea...You aren't fat, not even at 35pds heavier could I picture you looking fat. I bet he knows that is something that would get under your skin... It sounds like he almost wanted you to hear that. If he has known you for a while and doesn't like you I'm sure thats what it was...He knows how to get under your skin so don't worry about it...
You are gorgeous girl...0 -
Scream back "Hey is that the Idiot with no date you live with?"
"You are beautiful no matter what they say
Words can't bring you down
You are beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring you down
Don't you bring me down today...0 -
Don' t let that distract you, the guy is a "jerk" and very insensitive. Wait until he sees you a few months from now, when he approaches you, say "I was the fat girl, that was talking to ? on the phone and I don't associate with insensitive people like yourself."
You are beautiful and don't let anybody tell you differently. Hold your head up and keep believing in yourself. You are worth it.
Bravo!!! to the other posters who are on your side.
Lindac672410 -
So, this guy I have been semi dating (or something like that) just called me. He screams my name and then I hear in the background his roommate scream "Hey, is that the fat girl you're talking to". It really tore me apart. Yeah, I was fat, and yes I have more weight to lose, but the comment cut me to the core. Perhaps, I am too sensitive, words can hurt so bad.
Sorry but he had any interest in you that was worth it, he would just shut his room mate. So you are so better than this!0 -
are you kidding me????? you are not fat!!!! you look good and on top of that you are a very pretty girl.0
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