MOMMIES FUNNY KID STORIES...
beep
Posts: 1,242 Member
I'm sure all you mommies out there have some hilarious kid stories to tell...... what's one of yours?
Or even "one of those days" stories, like the time my 2-yr old emptied the toothpick continer into the disposal, after using the sprayer on the kitchen....... (where was I, you ask, in the next room folding laundry, I answer.... really.)
Or even "one of those days" stories, like the time my 2-yr old emptied the toothpick continer into the disposal, after using the sprayer on the kitchen....... (where was I, you ask, in the next room folding laundry, I answer.... really.)
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I'm sure all you mommies out there have some hilarious kid stories to tell...... what's one of yours?
Or even "one of those days" stories, like the time my 2-yr old emptied the toothpick continer into the disposal, after using the sprayer on the kitchen....... (where was I, you ask, in the next room folding laundry, I answer.... really.)0 -
My story is about my 7 year old daughter....this morning as we are leaving for school she says she doesn't want to wear her crotches to school ....yes her crotches .....and I say honey they are not crotches they are crocks.I realize she probably doesn't even know what crotch means ..I am just hoping she will start saying they are crocks.:laugh:0
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lol 2yr olds get into everything don't they?!! lol
Okay well Jerimyah, my 2 1/2yr old, was in his tv/toy room watching a movie (so we thought) turns out he was in the office (I work from home) he came downstairs and my mom called me. I go to look at him and he is covered in white out... lol He put it on his lips (as he says like mommy does, but i use chapstick), it was on his finger and toe nails. All over his face. I took pics, I so gotta get them up!0 -
Yikes I have many of those :laugh:
I guess the one that gives everyone the most laughs if the one where my youngest one at age 4 chased me around the yard with a garter snake. He was put up to it by my FIL who knows that I am deathly afraid of snakes. He came running up to me going... mommy mommy look at this! Once I saw what he had I went running :laugh: and he chased me all around my In-laws yard.... I would get ahead of him and turn around and try to threaten him so he would drop it and that didn't work LMAO!! My FIL was literally rolling around on the ground laughing so hard.
It wasn't funny to me at the time but looking back it is.0 -
When my son was turning 2 yrs old (he's now 7) I was trying to teach him he would be 2 years old , that way he could answer when someone asked his age. So we were playing in the bath with his rubber duckys and I would tell him " 1 duck, 2 duck, Skylier is going to be 2!" and he would get SO excited. So finally his birthday comes and we are all gathered at his party , he's just blown out his candles and his godfather asks " How old are you now Skylier?" his reply ?!? " IM 2 DUCKS OLD!"
hehehe soo cute still makes me giggle :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0 -
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
My oldest daughter once asked me if she could have some crambaby juice from the fridgalady...:laugh: :laugh:0 -
Haha, kids are too precious!! My son was 2 and we took him out trick-or-treating. We had gone to a few houses and then decided to drive to a new area. When we got there I told him we were going out again. While I was going around to the back to get him out of the car he said to my mom "we're going to get more candy again? This is just too easy!!"
Then, when he was three, I was downstairs talking to my brother after putting my boy to bed. I heard my mom call for me to come upstairs to see what he was doing. I walk upstairs and see he had grabbed a chair, pulled it to the freezer and grabbed a doughnut. THEN... he had poured himself a cup of coffee (yes, coffee!!) and was putting cream and sugar in it. I guess the bedtime snack I had given him just wasn't good enough. lol0 -
My story is about my 7 year old daughter....this morning as we are leaving for school she says she doesn't want to wear her crotches to school ....yes her crotches .....and I say honey they are not crotches they are crocks.I realize she probably doesn't even know what crotch means ..I am just hoping she will start saying they are crocks.:laugh:
rolling, just rolling :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0 -
These are so cute!!
When my DH and I were first dating, I took him back home to meet my family. My nephew at the time was only 3 and had a hard time articulating his words.
Anyhow, we were all sitting in the living room and DH had just finished playing soccer with him. As my DH sat down, my nephew turns to him and say " Gary, you're the b#tch!"
We all stared at each other trying not to laugh and my sister said to me "he's trying to say the word best". Gary you're the best is what he was trying to say.
It was so funny!
:flowerforyou:0 -
Oh, where to start - I"ll jump on the back of not saying words right - like when my son (then 2, now 6) was in church looking at his firetruck book, then saying he wants me to read his firef *ck book. That book never went to church again.
Then my other son (Theo - 3) was in trouble for something and was in "think about it" on the steps - and while dad was telling him what he did wrong and Theo covers his ears and says "what you say?" I'm glad I wasn't talking to him because I couldn't stop laughing at him!0 -
I have so many I can't even think of them all !!
But I have to admit I haver terrible Road Rage and everyone that honks at me I will flip them the bird and say some not so pleasant things! I try to restrain obviously with children in the vehicle.
I accidentaly pulled out in front of an suv the other day and they had lots of time to slow down, I had just overestimated the speed he was going. He went around me laying on the horn. My son 4 yelled "SAME TO YOU BUDDY!" My friend was in the car and we were laughing so hard. I needed a laugh at that very moment.
Jess0 -
When my Granddaughter came to visit I asked her if she wanted to take a shower and she told me she wasn't old enough to jump in the shower, her mommy wanted her to sit in the bath tub ( she took it literally):laugh:0
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This is funny but embarassing at the time it happened. I was in the tuxedo shop picking up my son's tux for my sisters wedding (he was the ringbearer). It was during May-a busy prom season so a bunch of high school boys were in there too. I was the only female in the place. I had my 8 month old and three year old sons with me. The baby started crying and was fussy so I was saying out loud "OK, were gonna go home so mama can feed you!" My three year old said very loudly in front of everyone"Mom, you don't have to give him your boobie all the time!!!! After everyone finished laughing and giggling, I quickly exited with a red face.:embarassed:0
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My older sister has been trying to get me to take a vacation with her this summer... (our ideas of vacationing are a little different)
I was discussing my reservations with my daughter - she said, "Just go, mom. You could get matching fanny packs and go antique-ing." :ohwell:
Must be getting old...0 -
We had been potty training our son , and Daddy had been teaching him to go like a big boy standing up. See and Learn. Anyway , my mom came to Canada from Tennessee for a visit and we were in her hotel room. Out of no where Skylier tells her " Ya know what Nana?! My peter (penis) is only this big, and holds his hand a couple inches apart. But My Daddy's peter is this big, and stretches his arms as far as they'll go. Well, hubby about died right there on the spot , and mom without missing a beat says, " Well, now I know how you convinced Tracy to move to Canada" :blushing: :laugh: :laugh:0
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My son, Owen, is 22 months old. Last week we took him to church. He somehow got his head stuck between the pew and the wall. He started screaming and the whole congregation was looking at us. My husband had to stand on two pews and pull him out. I thought we were going to have to go home and get the butter. I was mortified and trying not to laugh at the same time.0
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We had been potty training our son , and Daddy had been teaching him to go like a big boy standing up. See and Learn. Anyway , my mom came to Canada from Tennessee for a visit and we were in her hotel room. Out of no where Skylier tells her " Ya know what Nana?! My peter (penis) is only this big, and holds his hand a couple inches apart. But My Daddy's peter is this big, and stretches his arms as far as they'll go. Well, hubby about died right there on the spot , and mom without missing a beat says, " Well, now I know how you convinced Tracy to move to Canada" :blushing: :laugh: :laugh:
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: thats the funniest thing I have ever read in my life, lol. I'm not a mom so I don't have any adorable stories to tell, but someday I will :bigsmile:0 -
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: oh my:laugh: :laugh:0
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At my in-law's on our way from KY to WA state (mil move). I am helping my MIL clean her bedroom and my oldest (3 at the time) came upstairs blowing bubbles out of his mouth and gooey, very gooey. I went downstairs and found that he and my 2 y/o had found a brand new bottle of shampoo and managed to get the cap off and had spread it all over the basement and themselves. We got them cleaned up and went back to what we were doing. About 20 minutes later, they come back wet. I went into the basement and there is water everywhere (like think a pipe leaked water). My 3 y/o had put a glass under the water feature in the fridge and left it there, flooding the basement and making more bubbles. Last time anyone forgot to lock the fridge.
My now 3y/o walked into the bathroom while I was in there last summer, looked down and said "Mommy your penis fell off" with an apalled expression on his face. He was going through the potty training stage too.
My 4 y/o (2 at the time) decided to make breakfast. He had the eggs, butter and bread out of the fridge and the toaster out of the cabinet. I came out and found about 6 eggs broken in the toaster, bread and everything else all over the floor and him standing there with a big smile on his face.
My current favorite, Feb., daddy was gone in Korea and I was getting their bath ready and heard the back door open (we have a fenced in back yard so no worries). I went out to get them and they were both in sandals, t-shirt, bucket hats, flashlights and nothing else walking through the backyard "explorin'"0 -
My little darling at the age of two put a "breten bideo in the bcr and it boke"
Well it sure did honey that's a piece of wood - not a video!!0 -
My 4 y/o (2 at the time) decided to make breakfast. He had the eggs, butter and bread out of the fridge and the toaster out of the cabinet. I came out and found about 6 eggs broken in the toaster, bread and everything else all over the floor and him standing there with a big smile on his face.
Hahaha... I'm so glad mine isn't the only one to decide to get into the cupboards and help himself. Too cute!!0 -
My 3 year old came out of the bathroom with a tampon in her butt cheeks and said that she started .
We went out to dinner and there was a funny smell (my son nor my husband would confess) and when the waiter came to drop off out food, my daughter asked him if he farted. :blushing:
My son was 2 and is now 13-we were at our friends for a BBQ and he needed to go pee-the bathroom was being used, so he stood up on the chair and peed in the fountain.
My daughter shared with all when we had our dog fixed-she told them that Nitro is said cause my mom chopped off his cherries.0 -
Last summer we spent the weekend down in Colorado Springs. We (hubby, my then 6-year old daughter) & myself were touring the Chapel at the Air Force Academy (beautiful!!). They chapel is comprised of several different denominations in different parts of the church.
We were coming out of the Catholic sanctuary (we're not Catholic) when my daughter sees the Holy Water. She joyfully exclaims, "oh look, a bath" and then dunks her Barbie doll in it. Well of course at that moment a woman walks in & if looks could have killed, me, daughter & wet Barbie would have been a pile of ashes!
DH & I were cracking up outside the church, while daughter is,
"what??? What's so funny??" 
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My 3 year old came out of the bathroom with a tampon in her butt cheeks and said that she started .
We went out to dinner and there was a funny smell (my son nor my husband would confess) and when the waiter came to drop off out food, my daughter asked him if he farted. :blushing:
My son was 2 and is now 13-we were at our friends for a BBQ and he needed to go pee-the bathroom was being used, so he stood up on the chair and peed in the fountain.
My daughter shared with all when we had our dog fixed-she told them that Nitro is said cause my mom chopped off his cherries.
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Last summer we spent the weekend down in Colorado Springs. We (hubby, my then 6-year old daughter) & myself were touring the Chapel at the Air Force Academy (beautiful!!). They chapel is comprised of several different denominations in different parts of the church.
We were coming out of the Catholic sanctuary (we're not Catholic) when my daughter sees the Holy Water. She joyfully exclaims, "oh look, a bath" and then dunks her Barbie doll in it. Well of course at that moment a woman walks in & if looks could have killed, me, daughter & wet Barbie would have been a pile of ashes!
Barbie probably needed that :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
When my 21-yr old was 2, he was looking at something on the driveway that turned out to be a wooly caterpillar, and he said, "Look, it's a eyebrow!"0 -
Last summer we spent the weekend down in Colorado Springs. We (hubby, my then 6-year old daughter) & myself were touring the Chapel at the Air Force Academy (beautiful!!). They chapel is comprised of several different denominations in different parts of the church.
We were coming out of the Catholic sanctuary (we're not Catholic) when my daughter sees the Holy Water. She joyfully exclaims, "oh look, a bath" and then dunks her Barbie doll in it. Well of course at that moment a woman walks in & if looks could have killed, me, daughter & wet Barbie would have been a pile of ashes!
Barbie probably needed that :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
When my 21-yr old was 2, he was looking at something on the driveway that turned out to be a wooly caterpillar, and he said, "Look, it's a eyebrow!"
:laugh:
That's what they look like, too!0 -
They do. Just the thought of a random eyebrow laying on the driveway sends me into stitches to this day....:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0
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Well, my son is just really starting to talk and put sentences together...so I am sure it will be interesting what comes out of his mouth.
The funniest (well, not so much at the time)...thing that is happening lately is his urge to take his diaper off! If I put him down for a nap in a t-shirt and diaper..he will take it off if he does anything in it! 2 weeks ago, he had a poop, and took his diaper off in his crib...Yes, it was gross...
BUT, the day he was playing while I was fixing dinner and took his diaper off, sat on my mini stair-stepper and pooped on it....(It had tread!).....well...that topped it all!!! I was trying to figure out if he needs to be potty trained or doesn't want me exercising! :laugh: :laugh:
Oh, and the cutest thing he is doing these days is sitting in his room with a book (sometimes its upside down)...and as he turns each page, he "reads" out loud. Of course it's pretty much 1 1/2 year old gibberish...but HE knows what he's saying! It's so sweet! We have been reading to him since he was really tiny and he LOVES books.0 -
A couple of months ago my husband and I taught my son (who is now 14 months) where is 'boobies" are... we will say "Dom, where are your boobies?" and he will put his hands on his chest - SO FUNNY! Well, recently he happen to catch me changing my shirt (and bra) and so unexpectedly he says "BOOBIE" while pointing at my chest!!!! I almost died laughing!!! Hahaha!!! :laugh:
He's so adorable... I never thought I'd have this much joy being a Mommy!!!
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Oh, and the cutest thing he is doing these days is sitting in his room with a book (sometimes its upside down)...and as he turns each page, he "reads" out loud. Of course it's pretty much 1 1/2 year old gibberish...but HE knows what he's saying! It's so sweet! We have been reading to him since he was really tiny and he LOVES books.
Oh, I miss those days..... Not the diaper-taking off days. I've had to clean up after that many times, and once one of my daughters tried to clean it up herself. You can just imagine how well she did........:huh: 0
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