MOMMIES FUNNY KID STORIES...

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beep
beep Posts: 1,242 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I'm sure all you mommies out there have some hilarious kid stories to tell...... what's one of yours?

Or even "one of those days" stories, like the time my 2-yr old emptied the toothpick continer into the disposal, after using the sprayer on the kitchen....... (where was I, you ask, in the next room folding laundry, I answer.... really.)
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  • beep
    beep Posts: 1,242 Member
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    I'm sure all you mommies out there have some hilarious kid stories to tell...... what's one of yours?

    Or even "one of those days" stories, like the time my 2-yr old emptied the toothpick continer into the disposal, after using the sprayer on the kitchen....... (where was I, you ask, in the next room folding laundry, I answer.... really.)
  • runawaybride
    runawaybride Posts: 400 Member
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    My story is about my 7 year old daughter....this morning as we are leaving for school she says she doesn't want to wear her crotches to school ....yes her crotches .....and I say honey they are not crotches they are crocks.I realize she probably doesn't even know what crotch means ..I am just hoping she will start saying they are crocks.:laugh:
  • CrystalBella
    CrystalBella Posts: 848 Member
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    lol 2yr olds get into everything don't they?!! lol

    Okay well Jerimyah, my 2 1/2yr old, was in his tv/toy room watching a movie (so we thought) turns out he was in the office (I work from home) he came downstairs and my mom called me. I go to look at him and he is covered in white out... lol He put it on his lips (as he says like mommy does, but i use chapstick), it was on his finger and toe nails. All over his face. I took pics, I so gotta get them up!
  • GravyGurl
    GravyGurl Posts: 1,070
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    Yikes I have many of those :laugh:


    I guess the one that gives everyone the most laughs if the one where my youngest one at age 4 chased me around the yard with a garter snake. He was put up to it by my FIL who knows that I am deathly afraid of snakes. He came running up to me going... mommy mommy look at this! Once I saw what he had I went running :laugh: and he chased me all around my In-laws yard.... I would get ahead of him and turn around and try to threaten him so he would drop it and that didn't work LMAO!! My FIL was literally rolling around on the ground laughing so hard.


    It wasn't funny to me at the time but looking back it is.
  • BlazinEmerald
    BlazinEmerald Posts: 842
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    When my son was turning 2 yrs old (he's now 7) I was trying to teach him he would be 2 years old , that way he could answer when someone asked his age. So we were playing in the bath with his rubber duckys and I would tell him " 1 duck, 2 duck, Skylier is going to be 2!" and he would get SO excited. So finally his birthday comes and we are all gathered at his party , he's just blown out his candles and his godfather asks " How old are you now Skylier?" his reply ?!? " IM 2 DUCKS OLD!"

    hehehe soo cute still makes me giggle :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • beep
    beep Posts: 1,242 Member
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    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    My oldest daughter once asked me if she could have some crambaby juice from the fridgalady...:laugh: :laugh:
  • amandat_79
    amandat_79 Posts: 221 Member
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    Haha, kids are too precious!! My son was 2 and we took him out trick-or-treating. We had gone to a few houses and then decided to drive to a new area. When we got there I told him we were going out again. While I was going around to the back to get him out of the car he said to my mom "we're going to get more candy again? This is just too easy!!"

    Then, when he was three, I was downstairs talking to my brother after putting my boy to bed. I heard my mom call for me to come upstairs to see what he was doing. I walk upstairs and see he had grabbed a chair, pulled it to the freezer and grabbed a doughnut. THEN... he had poured himself a cup of coffee (yes, coffee!!) and was putting cream and sugar in it. I guess the bedtime snack I had given him just wasn't good enough. lol
  • beep
    beep Posts: 1,242 Member
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    My story is about my 7 year old daughter....this morning as we are leaving for school she says she doesn't want to wear her crotches to school ....yes her crotches .....and I say honey they are not crotches they are crocks.I realize she probably doesn't even know what crotch means ..I am just hoping she will start saying they are crocks.:laugh:

    rolling, just rolling :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • Mireille
    Mireille Posts: 5,134 Member
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    These are so cute!!

    When my DH and I were first dating, I took him back home to meet my family. My nephew at the time was only 3 and had a hard time articulating his words.
    Anyhow, we were all sitting in the living room and DH had just finished playing soccer with him. As my DH sat down, my nephew turns to him and say " Gary, you're the b#tch!"
    We all stared at each other trying not to laugh and my sister said to me "he's trying to say the word best". Gary you're the best is what he was trying to say.
    It was so funny!

    :flowerforyou:
  • annhjk
    annhjk Posts: 794 Member
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    Oh, where to start - I"ll jump on the back of not saying words right - like when my son (then 2, now 6) was in church looking at his firetruck book, then saying he wants me to read his firef *ck book. That book never went to church again.

    Then my other son (Theo - 3) was in trouble for something and was in "think about it" on the steps - and while dad was telling him what he did wrong and Theo covers his ears and says "what you say?" I'm glad I wasn't talking to him because I couldn't stop laughing at him!
  • MrsSorenson
    MrsSorenson Posts: 450 Member
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    I have so many I can't even think of them all !!

    But I have to admit I haver terrible Road Rage and everyone that honks at me I will flip them the bird and say some not so pleasant things! I try to restrain obviously with children in the vehicle.

    I accidentaly pulled out in front of an suv the other day and they had lots of time to slow down, I had just overestimated the speed he was going. He went around me laying on the horn. My son 4 yelled "SAME TO YOU BUDDY!" My friend was in the car and we were laughing so hard. I needed a laugh at that very moment.

    Jess
  • gabi_ele
    gabi_ele Posts: 460 Member
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    When my Granddaughter came to visit I asked her if she wanted to take a shower and she told me she wasn't old enough to jump in the shower, her mommy wanted her to sit in the bath tub ( she took it literally):laugh:
  • GIGINATOR
    GIGINATOR Posts: 355 Member
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    This is funny but embarassing at the time it happened. I was in the tuxedo shop picking up my son's tux for my sisters wedding (he was the ringbearer). It was during May-a busy prom season so a bunch of high school boys were in there too. I was the only female in the place. I had my 8 month old and three year old sons with me. The baby started crying and was fussy so I was saying out loud "OK, were gonna go home so mama can feed you!" My three year old said very loudly in front of everyone"Mom, you don't have to give him your boobie all the time!!!! After everyone finished laughing and giggling, I quickly exited with a red face.:embarassed:
  • Life_is_Good
    Life_is_Good Posts: 361 Member
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    My older sister has been trying to get me to take a vacation with her this summer... (our ideas of vacationing are a little different)

    I was discussing my reservations with my daughter - she said, "Just go, mom. You could get matching fanny packs and go antique-ing." :ohwell:

    Must be getting old...
  • BlazinEmerald
    BlazinEmerald Posts: 842
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    We had been potty training our son , and Daddy had been teaching him to go like a big boy standing up. See and Learn. Anyway , my mom came to Canada from Tennessee for a visit and we were in her hotel room. Out of no where Skylier tells her " Ya know what Nana?! My peter (penis) is only this big, and holds his hand a couple inches apart. But My Daddy's peter is this big, and stretches his arms as far as they'll go. Well, hubby about died right there on the spot , and mom without missing a beat says, " Well, now I know how you convinced Tracy to move to Canada" :blushing: :laugh: :laugh:
  • sandybuff
    sandybuff Posts: 6 Member
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    My son, Owen, is 22 months old. Last week we took him to church. He somehow got his head stuck between the pew and the wall. He started screaming and the whole congregation was looking at us. My husband had to stand on two pews and pull him out. I thought we were going to have to go home and get the butter. I was mortified and trying not to laugh at the same time.
  • kerrilucko
    kerrilucko Posts: 3,852 Member
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    We had been potty training our son , and Daddy had been teaching him to go like a big boy standing up. See and Learn. Anyway , my mom came to Canada from Tennessee for a visit and we were in her hotel room. Out of no where Skylier tells her " Ya know what Nana?! My peter (penis) is only this big, and holds his hand a couple inches apart. But My Daddy's peter is this big, and stretches his arms as far as they'll go. Well, hubby about died right there on the spot , and mom without missing a beat says, " Well, now I know how you convinced Tracy to move to Canada" :blushing: :laugh: :laugh:

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: thats the funniest thing I have ever read in my life, lol. I'm not a mom so I don't have any adorable stories to tell, but someday I will :bigsmile:
  • beep
    beep Posts: 1,242 Member
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    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: oh my:laugh: :laugh:
  • foxfire9372
    foxfire9372 Posts: 184 Member
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    At my in-law's on our way from KY to WA state (mil move). I am helping my MIL clean her bedroom and my oldest (3 at the time) came upstairs blowing bubbles out of his mouth and gooey, very gooey. I went downstairs and found that he and my 2 y/o had found a brand new bottle of shampoo and managed to get the cap off and had spread it all over the basement and themselves. We got them cleaned up and went back to what we were doing. About 20 minutes later, they come back wet. I went into the basement and there is water everywhere (like think a pipe leaked water). My 3 y/o had put a glass under the water feature in the fridge and left it there, flooding the basement and making more bubbles. Last time anyone forgot to lock the fridge.

    My now 3y/o walked into the bathroom while I was in there last summer, looked down and said "Mommy your penis fell off" with an apalled expression on his face. He was going through the potty training stage too.

    My 4 y/o (2 at the time) decided to make breakfast. He had the eggs, butter and bread out of the fridge and the toaster out of the cabinet. I came out and found about 6 eggs broken in the toaster, bread and everything else all over the floor and him standing there with a big smile on his face.

    My current favorite, Feb., daddy was gone in Korea and I was getting their bath ready and heard the back door open (we have a fenced in back yard so no worries). I went out to get them and they were both in sandals, t-shirt, bucket hats, flashlights and nothing else walking through the backyard "explorin'"
  • Benson
    Benson Posts: 444
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    My little darling at the age of two put a "breten bideo in the bcr and it boke"

    Well it sure did honey that's a piece of wood - not a video!!

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